So we had a business dinner last night and our hosts were fired up. How fired up? Well, official reports vary but there were between 100-120 Irish car bombs ordered last night for 10 people. While a few were given away, the majority got taken down at our table. Along w/ several beers. How do I stay so productive the following day you ask? Well, a gentleman never asks and a lady never tells... so screw you! We did get into a spirited discussion concerning our favorite "regulars" on Church Street... well, here is my top 10!
10. Overcoat Guy. Overcoat guy rocks an overcoat and perpetually crooked glasses. Of course if your eyes stray from his crazy face or hair you might notice hid shirt tucked into his fly!
9. Big Head Red Sox Fan. Big Head is usually either going P-Diddy style in all white attire or some Red Sox shirt or jacket. He has a huge head, odd expression and talks to himself while walking laps around town! Want to talk Sox? He does... to trees and benches, and parked cars...
8. Walking Stick Guy. 6 foot tall old guy w/ a walking stick, rainbow suspenders and... no shirt! Hiking to barely clothed town I suppose.
7. Drug Dealer Guy. I might get shot for writing this but this character rolls around in a sweatsuit or velour jumpsuit. He rocks dreadlocks, shades, and a backwards baseball hat. His giant dog also makes a point of protecting his eyes w/ some cool shades.
6. Big Red. a 6'8" "woman" who can usually be found in Ri Ra's or cruising up and down Church Street looking for an unsuspecting drunk guy to run his fingers through her huge crazy flaming red dyed hair.
5. Purple Pants Lady. Another cougar on the prowl, this fine specimen looks like a witch... a witch dressed in revealing shirts and purple velvet pants that are way to tight that is! She also cruises the strip or the bars to find children to eat.
4. Todd. Giant hair, crazy eyes... steer clear of this weirdo my friends!
3. Rascal Guy. This veteran of some sort of skirmish cruises around Church Street on a motorized chair w/ his trusty (mangy) dog by his side. All day, just motoring around... insulting anyone and everyone in a 20 foot radius! Nothing like being berated for no reason by someone you don't even know!
2. No Shirt Pipe Guy. Speaking of ya-yos. This guy has the strangest gait you have ever seen, part street pimp, part seizure, all awesome! Of course his jive walk is extra great because he is never wearing a shirt and is always rocking a pipe! You stay classy pipe guy!
1. Smoker Guy. A staple of the Church Street scene. This guy is always walking around town and smoking. Cigarettes, cigars, used butts from the street. He has a vacant stare, a grizzled face, and sometimes earmuffs! He also shuffles around picking up discarded butts then every now and then has a spastic leg movement that looks like he is high stepping to fun!
These guys are great, if you find yourself downtown, try to find your favorite!!!
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