Yikes!

Well, crazy guy who used to storm around Burlington staring people down in his military fatigues was storming around in high heeled boots, a tank top, men's jeans, and make up.  Sure, f*** it, why not?  If you are going to be crazy might as well be batshit crazy.

Great Irish meal and Irish beers at the new B-G abode.  Nice work, very good lamb and all the fixins'.  Of course just as soon as desert was over we had a double meltdown and had to flee like we had just stolen something (the silver picture frame).

Did I mention my recent business correspondence w/ a older male prospect who TWICE used a smiley face :) thing in an email?  Still haunts me.

I do not like Ben Affleck as Batman.  I just don't.  Good Batman stars have been crazy.  Michael Keaton and Christian Bale both had a screw loose.  So did Adam West.  Josh Brolin would have been better, more unstable. Just saying. You call me a nerd?  Want to fight?!

BTW, what is up w/ Syria?  What a disaster.  Now that they have dropped chemical weapons against their own people we almost have to get in the mix no?  Foxnews and other conservative outlets have skewered the President for his inaction there.  Now that we are all but committed hot long before they criticize the military intervention, 24 hours, 48?

There is this big story about how Bobby Riggs tossed the match against Billie Jean King to pay off gambling debts.  It always seemed to me he was dogging that match but at the end of the day who cares?  Was it really a landmark statement?  He was a washed up 55yr old playing the #2 ranked woman in the world. That is like me playing in a 5th grader pickup basketball game to show I've still got it, or conversely allowing them to stand up for 5th grader rights?  Story different these days... is there anyway Jimmy Connors could play a match against Serena Williams?  No f*ing way.

Now if you will excuse me, I have some important Twerking to attend to.

Jay About Guild Fine Meats

I am a little worried about the interweb crowd that header may draw?  In any event... the Catamount Hospitality group opened their latest creation Guild Fine Meats in the old Pacific Rim spot next to Flatbread in Burlington.  As it just opened Wed. I had to make my move to check it out.  The place was billed as an outlet for their own fine meats butchered and prepared in Winooski I believe. I imagined a butcher that might have some accouterments a little like Shelburne Meat Market but more thoughtful and local in product.  Well... it is only the first week. There is a butcher shop and there is a nice selection of bottled beers and wines as well as some other treats such as moon pies and anise candies. There is also a decent size sandwich counter.  It is obvious that this is the first week and they have all hands on deck including one of the owners behind the counter cutting meat.  As far as the meat... it all looks nice but it is just Laplatte Farms beef and I did not notice any of the aging or curing I was hoping to find.  It was kind of a standard butcher which is fine and necessary but certainly not unique.  The space itself is nice but snug.  I sauntered up to the sandwich counter and ordered a warm roast beef w/ tarentaise, red onions, and horseradish aioli on wheat. There was a little confusion behind the counter but they banged it out pretty quickly.  It was a bit petite for the cost which was reasonable for Burlington but only if it is a bigger sandwich? That said, the roast beef was tender and had nice flavor, bun was pretty good, and the cheese was delicious.  It was a good, not great sandwich. Overall I think it is a welcome addition to the scene.  I was not blown away but it is early.  To be fair, I felt the same way about the Farmhouse and now I go there pretty regularly.  I will hold off on thumbs until I go again but I'd suggest checking it out if you are in the market for lunch.

A bit off the run as I used my space for an A-Rod rant earlier but my special lady and I were able to ditch the kids w/ the in laws and catch the Black Crowes down at the waterfront last Saturday.  Like current Phish tours we both found it tight, well constructed and enjoyable but lacking that certain passion of earlier shows.  I suppose like heroin you are always trying to get back to that first intense experience but really never can because you don't accurately remember what that first time was really like in proper context.  Or so I have heard.  That said they took a few of the standard its and really rocked out, in particular moving from Hard to Handle to Deep Purple's Hush for the encore that was really something special.  Special props to old couple slow dancing and grabbing handfuls of butt, #1 fan 80 year old guy rocking out like he was having a seizure, and the couple consisting of girl dancing her heart out around her partner who did not move one inch.  Fantastic!

The Depths of A-Rod and the Yankees

The current situation with the Yankees and Alex Rodrigez is one of the most fascinating case studies in fan behavior I can remember.  Everyone from Lance Armstrong to Barry Bonds always provided a relatively clean exit after they were finally caught cheating w/ PED's.  They were caught and they left the game.  At that point you either still rooted for them or you hated them.  But those who rooted were able to root for past performance that may have not been tainted.  You could wax nostalgic.  Andy Petite and Jason Giambi were slightly different in that they were caught, paid the penance (of sorts) and played on but in a diminished state.  You maybe never saw them the same way but they seemed contrite.  A-Rod and maybe Ryan Braun are entirely different animals.  A-Rod lied about cheating, then was caught, then admitted it but said he was young and dumb, and then was caught again!  He continues to lie and to cheat, and to scheme. The more of the story that comes out the dirtier he seems.  The Yankees have tried to extricate themselves from the circus but they were so clumsy they made it seem all about the money and in these times a huge rich organization trying to claw back money are as big a villain as the cheater they are trying to take it from.  Making it an even more difficult situation is that A-Rod has been suspended for cheating.  But there are rules and even though nobody really wants him around you cannot just kick him out of the game. Apparently you can only do that to gamblers like Pete Rose but not drug users. OK, so he gets suspended and pays the penance and can come back and get his 32nd chance like every other celebrity right?  Not so fast!  He appeals and lawyers up.  So now, the known cheater, liar, schemer is back and playing even though he will at some point be suspended for cheating.  So let's forget the past for a second and not go think about the validity of recent seasons (such as the 2009 championship team littered w/ PED cheats). This year the Yankees are scratching and clawing just to make the playoffs.  If they do it certainly will be with some contribution from a known cheater.  If it is your team to you really want to win or just quietly go away this year and come back next year with a clean slate?  If you are a Yankees fan you have long loved cheaters so it is championship or bust!  Queue the music for Clemens, Petite, Giambi, A-Rod, Cervelli, Mariano (sorry, he has not been caught yet).  The fans cheer him, the writers like Wallace Mathews defend him, John Sterling orgasms every time he gets a hit, and his manager and team rally around him.  Are they all admitting that the game is a mess and rife w/ drug use? Shouldn't you bristle at the thought of supporting your co-worker who has taken money out of your pocket directly from the result of cheating?  Maybe I am just a hard ass... Apparently Joe Giardi very rarely curses but used several blue lines last night after Ryan Dempster showed A-Rod what Boston thinks of him. Good for you Joe... support your scumbag player.  He is one of your guys. I am fully in support of standing up for your guys... unless they have screwed you over, multiple times. All bets are off at that point because they are not really a teammate, or a friend.  It is just a guy taking your money. So what am I saying?  F*** you A-Rod... you are a piece of shit. And f*** you Yankees.  You could do the right thing and park that cheater on the bench, or you could treat him like a mistreated victim. By doing the latter you tarnish your image as a beacon of baseball light.

Pretty Good Little Weekend.

The kids were pretty well behaved and we got quite a bit done this weekend.  We even packed the little ones up and did a short hike which they not only tolerated but mostly slept through. One blip in the radar was a perfect illustration of the difficulty twins present.  So, my wife had to work an event Sunday night.  No problem I said.  I got this I said.  My smuggness was oozing.  To this point they had been great.  Even when not smiling they were at least chill.  We had been at a BBQ and the little girl was very social.  My son, was a little cranky but he mostly just kept to himself in the stroller.  So I figure, shit, we will play for a little bit, I will feed them, get them ready for bed, and then boom... daddy gets a beer and Netflix movie to celebrate his triumph!  The little bird had other ideas.  Once the lady left there was a double implosion the likes of which I had not seen.  Screaming.  Didn't matter if they were sitting, lying down, in the crib, on the playmat, in the swing.  It was screaming as if we were in a B-slasher flick. Maybe I don't know any better but the only way to soothe a new born is to pick them up and comfort them right?  Trying that move w/ 2 writhing screaming banshees is next to impossible.  So I pick up one and try to calm them down for 2 minutes and then I put that one down and try the other one who has ramped up to level red meltdown, then back to baby number 1 who has taken over trying to break the sound barrier, and so on.  The whole time wishing I had cracked that beer earlier and trying to curse at the top of my lungs as I plead for them to calm down.  Pacifier?  Yeah, f*** you daddy. Pick that shit up off the floor. Again. Rattle? Yeah, I am going to bash myself in the face and then my brother and really get this party started before chucking it at the cat. Obviously the cat jumps in the mix whining for food. I have to try with every last bit of energy not to kick Boomer in the face.  Needless to say diaper change did not go well.  My only respite was food as I do a double feed jamming a couple bottles in their mouths at the same time and stare off into space... a broken man.  They did take it easy on me and go down to sleep in a somewhat reasonable time frame. Finally, Miller Time.  BTW, if you are on Netflix and think the Lakey Peterson surf movie might be kind of cool?  It is not.  It is a long movie that seems like it is written and directed by a teenager and funded by her parents.  She is a sick surfer but like most teens a mental midget. You will want to shoot yourself in the face after 20 minutes.  So I wanted to shoot myself in the face for about 1 hour and 15 minutes as I watched the whole thing.  I am an idiot.

Is That Your Final Answer?

So how bad does your food have to be to be honest w/ waitstaff?  When the waiter comes over and asks how the food is you are sometimes caught at a crossroads. I love and hate when they get me w/ my mouth full. I am annoyed at being snuck up on but I also do not have to answer the question.  So my wife and I were eating at the Canoe Club in Hanover Sat. night and my wife says to me "This is worse than airplane food.".  On cue, the waitress pops up out of a trap door in the floor and asks "How is everything?" to which my special lady responds without missing a beat "Good, thank you.".  I just stared like a deer in the head lights and pretended I did not speak English.  So when you think the food is worse than the shit you get on an airplane but you still answer good it begs the question, how bad does it have to be to say something?  It was not cooked incorrectly and we were not ordering anything else so the chef spit/testicle rub retaliation was not in play. It is not really fair to future patrons not to point out the terrible fare and yet we still always just shrink away from the cold reality.

So what, you may ask, sucked so bad about out meal?  The atmosphere was quite nice and they made me a nice Manhattan. The waitress said the bread was just going in the oven and would be right out. Was in the oven huh?  The bread was so dry and flavorless I could not believe it was actually food. There was not enough butter in the restaurant to make it edible. Oh well, just bread.  The heritage beet salad came out and looked like beets out of a can.  It was limp and lifeless and while the flavor was not disgusting it was nothing you would ever want to pay for. The dressing was thoughtlessly dumped on the salad covering parts and not others. Hazelnuts were good. My gnocchi was fine. It had a tremendous amount of oil and garlic but was fine. Fine.  Really it is the only fitting description. So there you have it. 1 thumb down.

Of course this all followed up our trip to see The Wolverine at the Nugget Theater.  I thought it also was fine. Good to see in the theater, lots of action, kind of a lame plot.  My lady thought it was pretty bad and could not get past the plot issues. I am a dumb animal, it does not bother me as much if there are bright shiny lights. That said I would not recommend it either. So I guess 1 thumb sideways?

We finished up at Murphy's which had a lively scene and an attentive bartender.  A group of women was on a girls night out and were having more fun than anyone we had ever seen.  My lady almost ditched me to hang with them.  Also having a fun night out were the too older dipshits having a guys night out.  They had clearly gone big as they were now on water and beer, called for a cab, were speaking gibberish, and one of the guys was blatantly turning to stare at my wife's chest. I was close to saying something but my beer was gone and it was time to go home.

After all of that you may ask... Jay, how do you rate that pile of shit date? 2 thumbs up!!! We got out, just the 2 of us for a night and genuinely had fun laughing at out predicaments. It was humorous and good to be together as nearly normal humans. I still did not get lucky but we were staying at my parents' house. And my dad was drinking a Mike's hard lemonade when we got home.  2.25 thumbs up.