Thursday, February 24, 2011

Time for Shop Talk!!


I am thinking about a new game... what goofy color shirt is my co-worker OenoSteve wearing today? Cue the music... Yesterday we had day-glow pink. Today, it is an Easter Egg shade of yellow. If you guessed bright yellow, give yourself a hand!!! BTW, look at the number he was rocking a few months ago. If you could really see the shirt under that violet sweater you would laugh... like I did. OenoSteve is a good sport so we can joke him a little.


OK, here is another tale from the office. We typically stock some interesting reading material in the men's room. Now, I am not interested in reading War and Peace while in stink town but sometimes you are working through a situation and may enjoy a little mental stimulation. Just sayin'. Well, our typical fare is a few car magazines, maybe a financial rag, and several gun/hunting magazines. Yeah, seriously. So out of the goodness of my heart I went down to the bookstore last Tues. and purchased a snowboard mag., an ESPN mag., and a National Geographic. Well, I went to use the facilities on Thurs. and lo and behold... no National Geographic! I checked both stalls, gone! Who the f*ck steals a magazine from the bathroom? It is wrong on several levels but let's mention the most obvious. One, I BOUGHT that and those are not cheap. Plus, I never even got to read the damn thing!!! An even more pressing issue... that is gross! When something goes in the bathroom it is not meant to come out. Period. I mean it is the most unsanitary place in the building. Are you taking it to your desk? Home? Were you really that interested in domesticated foxes of northern Canada?!?!?! Are times really that tough?! Just disturbing.


I guess that is enough for now. Tomorrow is casual Friday so get your funny shirt color guesses ready! Orange? Purple? Blue and Red vertical stripes? Fuchsia polka dots? Who knows?!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Jay About President's Day Weekend!


Man, there is nothing like a 3 day weekend. I especially enjoy it when the off day is Monday. Your body tells you that you should be going to work, but nope! Then you have a short week to look forward to, it is great. We did a couple things for the weekend. On Friday we ate leftovers, nothing special there. On Saturday, we went to a friends and had a really nice brunch. Our pal made an amazing cheesy oniony tart thing. The crust was great. The best part of Saturday? After brunch my special lady went to look at wedding dresses w/ a girlfriend and I went to... the couch! I watched some basketball, read a magazine, ate pistachios, and had a cocktail. It was everything I could have hoped for and more. Oh, but Jay... why didn't you go outside and enjoy nature?! Cause it was f*cking cold and windy, that's why!!


On Sunday we did get out and about. We hiked up Camel's Hump. It was nice until we got to the top, at which point it was like -20 degrees with a howling wind. We stayed at the top for two seconds then retreated to the tree line to clear our ringing heads and try to avoid frostbite. It was a good hike though. Then another nice dinner at home with a nice pork loin, apple chutney, and wheat berries. What is a wheat berry? What am I a doctor? How the hell should I know?! It was like barley or something. A good conduit for the apple. We washed it down w/ a bottle of Pierre Joulet because we are super fancy.


Monday was the big deal. We got together w/ some folks for lunch and Bloody Mary's. The Bloodies were made w/ freshly juiced veggies and herbs and rimmed w/ Old Bay seasoning. Delicious and chock full of vitamins! I felt like a hundred bucks! My lady knocked the cover off lunch w/ a baked egg topped w/ melted cheese and siting on top of bacon, spinach, and onions browned up in bacon grease. That my friends is money in the bank! She had also made coffee cake muffins that were awesome. It was by no means a healthy meal but I am sure the vitamin rich cocktails countered the massive cholesterol intake (again, I am not a doctor so...). It was great. After that we came home and watched a couple episodes from the first season of Dexter. That is a messed up show. It is good but holy smokes, it is weird.


One last tidbit, we watched Red the other night. It was entertaining and worth a flier if you can get it on Netflix or HBO. I would not pay up for it but the acting is pretty tongue in cheek and they blow a bunch of shit up. 1 thumb on the trigger of a sniper rifle yo!!!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Happy Birthday A-Bird


Technically it was Wednesday but this is a backward looking blog so let's celebrate my special lady's birthday all weekend! Our friends DG&KB threw a lovely party Wednesday and that was fun. The Portuguese chicken was randera randera randera... great! That is what Portuguese sounds like. I'm sorry, it just is. So the 2 things I got for my wife for her birthday? A nice bottle of champagne and a fake dog poo that she left hidden at our friends place. I think she was amused and that is why she is awesome.


We saw Crazy Heart the other night and it was pretty darn good. Jeff Bridges plays a great crusty country singer. He is really making it happen w/ these one off characters the last several years. Good for you Lebowski! Anyway, the word was that it was really sad like The Wrestler, but it was not even close. I mean, the wrestler is depressing and not for nothing but it does not end well! Crazy Heart has at least a modicum of hope and some real "heart"! Haha. 1 1/2 thumbs up.


One last tidbit, good luck Dick... you were a mentor and a friend and I certainly will miss your interesting perspective (if not your terrible gas) around these parts. I have one suggestion for the future. Kamchatka Bear trainer! Just Sayin'...

Monday, February 14, 2011

Wow, I really f*d that one up


We decided to do a pretty brief hike yesterday... one that the special lady and I do all the time. It is not super technical and usually pretty well travelled so the path is well worn. Apparently not yesterday. We rolled up sans snowshoes and were quickly up to our thighs in deep crusty snow. What a pain in the ass! At the top of one ridge the wind was whipping, we had snow in our boots, and the only was to really move was to crawl on all fours to create more surface area... like a f*ing polar bear! I don't even want to know what people (or polar bears) would think if they saw us! We finally got to a high point and it was time to sled down! All that hard work would be rewarded right? WRONG!!! The sled we had was warped and sucked and the snow was so deep, even with decent pitch you could not go more than 2 feet. So we had to trudge down through equally heavy snow. It was really unpleasant. Not as unpleasant as shovelling my roof... but pretty darn close. Was my wife impressed and happy about the great exercise we got? Nope!! Again, apparently, (I am the only one these things are not apparent to), wet cold socks, and not fun deep snow walking is not a good way to spend a Sunday... who knew?!


On Saturday, we did some work around the house and rented The Social Network on PPV. I don't like that actor who plays Zuckerberg and think Facebook is for weirdos (like my wife, haha), but what the heck. It is up for all sorts of awards and has won several but that is ridiculous. It was good and certainly entertaining but not great by any means. The music was well suited and it definitely made to dislike most if not all of the players in the saga. It is worth a rent but you could wait for it to show up on HBO and probably feel ok about it. 1 1/4 thumbs henpecking at a keyboard about things "I like".


Ok, time to go and make amends to my special lady. She is a gem.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Jay About NYC


Last things first... we got home yesterday about from NY at about 7 and all I wanted to do was crash on the couch and watch the Super Bowl. One problem... our f*ing plow guy had not plowed the 8" of heavy wet snow that had fallen the day earlier. Our driveway is long and w/ that much heavy snow the car had no chance. So we had to get out and start shoveling. Yeah, that sucked pretty bad. Then the country bumpkin shows up and parks his tractor behind my car refusing to get out and say "hey, maybe you guys should back out and I will plow that for you... as that is what you pay me to do". Then when my wife asked him why he had not plowed he gave her shit. It turned out our neighbor's niece got stuck and left her car blocking the driveway during the snow on Saturday. No explanation as to why all of Sunday went by unplowed. Asshole.


BUT, the trip to the city was pretty fun despite a cold sloppy rain on Saturday. We rolled in on Friday and went to a very chill sushi spot Takahachi in Tribeca on the advice of HOLLA NYC. It was lively, very friendly, and the fish was solid. It is an inviting place that was really easy to sit down, gab w/ friends, and have some salmon and saki. The taxi driver roll was pretty great and I know you are not supposed to eat it but the toro was buttery slightly fishy (in a good way) and delicious. Prices were reasonable and over all 1 1/2 thumbs up. We were a little tired after having snowboarding in the morning then travelling but we skipped over to a bar called Weather Up for a cocktail. That place was pretty hip. Subway tile, dark lighting, good looking well dressed patrons... it was a scene very typical of a bar in Vermont! It took awhile to get a drink but I thought the scenery was ok so I just perused the drink list and the many top shelf liquors they were rocking. Ultimately I passed on the foo-foo stuff and got a Booker's on the rocks. They give a nice heavy pour in a tumbler with a huge chunk of fresh cut ice. It made a nice presentation and added levels of flavor to the whiskey as it melted. That place was cool.


Saturday we poked around and and then took a sip in the MOMA. Modern art is weird shit. Some of it is very cool. They had a "modern" kitchen exhibit that was pretty neat with lots of propaganda and kitchen items from World War II, both German and American. There was also a cool Warhol exhibit w/ a room full of huge screens showing the old screen tests for his still life movies. There were about 8 huge faces famous and less famous just staring at you or doing mundane tasks such as brushing their teeth it was very surreal. Then you had various photographs or paintings of a dude jerking off with a plastic bag over his head standing next to a monkey. Odd, very odd. Why not a cow... the monkey knows shame for heck sake.


Lunch was over at a Ma Peche a David Chang Momofuku spin off. It was great. We started with a broccoli and seaweed salad in white miso. It was cooked perfectly to soak up the sauce without getting soggy and the miso was delicate yet flavorful. We also had summer rolls with a great consistency, fresh flavor and shrimp that was very fresh (often very rubbery in the spring/summer roll). For our main course A-bird rocked a shrimp po-boy and it was off the chain. Perfect baguette, not to crusty, not too soft and a little warm with lightly breaded shrimp and this pickled ramp remoulade that was amazing. I had pork ribs in basil and caramel that feel off the bone. I could have eaten less because they were very heavy but quite good. Oh yeah, the tequila based knuckleball was tequillalicious! I could have had 12. Then got in a fight, then passed out, then peed on myself. Wait, where was I? Oh yeah 2 thumbs up. A little pricey and service is a little hung over but good.


It was then on to a little shopping. Funny thing, in this shop I tried on a leather jacket that made me look like a love machine. I was ready to pull the trigger then and there! My wife as the voice of reason agreed that it looked good and that I would be very cool if I wore it but... where and when would I wear it in VT? Certainly not to work where I would be joked to no end. We decided to sleep on it and come back on Sunday to look again. Good move. It was like a drunken hook up. The next morning in the light and sober it was like my model had turned into mothra. We walked away to deploy our funds in a couple dress shirts that made more sense and will look good in the light or the dark.


Dinner was very chill, pizza at Adrienne's downtown. Good sauce, good sausage, good cheese, reasonable prices and peroni on tap. What's not to like? Also a friendly and chill place to go and relax. After being out in the cold rain all day it was a very welcome respite.


Finally we had brunch Sunday at Schiller's Liquors in the east village. Very cool neighborhood. The restaurant had more vintage glass and subway tile. We started with a warm and sumptuous doughnut. I then had a Croque Madame. That is buttered bread toasted w/ ham melted cheese and a fried egg. Otherwise known at a heart attack! It was good but shit, I almost died at the table. I had to wait 15minutes until I could get served my Pimm's Cup at noon. It was worth it. The cucumber is the way to go. I would go back for the doughnuts and drinks. The rest is ok not great. Very professional service.


Then the plow f*cker. Think I will end it here. The Super Bowl was a fun game to watch, I didn't care about the teams so whatever...

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Jay About Innapropriate jokes


Couple quick reviews... the Catamount X-country ski center is ok but there is not nearly enough terrain to justify $15/person. It is like a track, you just go around in circles? True Grit was pretty solid. The female lead was very good, Jeff Bridges was very crusty, and Matt Damon was appropriately dooshy. 1 3/4 thumbs up. well worth it.


Ok... back to the good stuff. Do you think after the 120th question about his recent offseason, Ben Rothlehdkjhahsburger is finally going to snap and scream, "That is it! This is F*ing Super Bowl Week! If I get one more personal question I am going to rape you!!!".


Where the f**k do these Egyptians keep finding rocks to throw? They are on paved streets? Is there a rock stand next to the falafel guy? Do you need a permit for that?


6" of snow shut the city of Burlington down today. We live in Vermont. It snows every year. In fact 8 of 12 months we have snow. Yet, every time it snows it is like the first time we have ever seen it? What, are we all a bunch of Drew Barrymores in 50 First Dates? Like the obscure reference?


Speaking of 6". Wait, maybe I will walk away from that joke.


I know that I eliminated D-Bag of the week but I am re instituting it for just this week... the candidates are standing right behind me. T-Pain, Dick, Birminghamandcheese, KII. Apparently I do not post enough these days. I am busy working... and drinking... and today, farting!



Hey it's Groundhog Day! The Groundhog did not see his shadow so spring is coming! Of course it is very difficult to see your shadow when you are buried under 4 feet of snow. And are a nearly blind ground burrowing animal.


If you ever have the opportunity to try the chicken meatball special at the City Market? Don't! Right away we got a B-teamer making our sandwiches the other day. The first problem was that he did not know how to make a meatball sub. Isn't that sandwich making 101... chapter 2 right after peanut butter and jelly? Second, the greasy hippy was coughing all over our food. At that point we should have walked away. But no... at that point it was go time. The sandwich had ok flavor but was cold and had very little marinara. It also stuck w/ me well into the night. Gross.


It's funny, Brittney Spears and Lindsay Lohan use drugs, get seen at parties drunk, and hook up w/ random actors or other guys and they are not only sent to rehab but are put in the custody of their parents. Charlie Sheen blows a suitcase full of coke w/ strippers and hookers and he gets a new family drama on CBS and a high five! (just kidding, he has to go to rehab before the high five... those trashy girls!!!). I think that kid in the pic above is pissed the hot dog guy only had 32 dogs in the bin!


I think I am done... I have a 4 hour (3 mile) drive home!