The Wire... I dunno

My special lady and I have recently used our Netflix subscription to catch up on older TV shows we missed new issue. Our latest endeavor has been "the Wire". People who enjoy the show are obsessed. I am not one of those people. First off, I am not a huge fan of cop shows. I like Law & Order ok, but CSI? Pass. Hill Street Blues, NYPD Blue, Bones... pass, pass, pass... I did enjoy Miami vice but that was different. At first the characters inThe Wire seemed to be talking gibberish. Between the hushed tones and the police jargon I had no idea what the f*** they were talking about. The show is not particularly well shot, it is not visually arresting (hahaha), the characters are only kind of engaging. It is just an ok show. As the first season has gone on I have been getting more into the story which does have potential but overall I am not sure I go for season 2. 1 thumb sideways. On a related note, 24 is coming to an end this season. I used to really like this show but it has jumped the shark. I just don't really care anymore. I am still watching but only because I want to see someone shoot Freddie Prinze Jr and his non-existent eyebrows!

So... I dunno...

so...

I recently took shit from my boss for a bad post and a few folks for being negative. Well, I think that is a result of a lack of passion. It happens. To remedy I am going to try a new road, one for me sort or Robert Frost like... less travelled if you will... this is a post of the things Jaybird really likes in life.

I like... cold beer, basketball, watching my wife sleep, playing 1 on 1 on 1 w/ my dad and brother, watching movies on the big screen w/ the volume turned way up, listening to my sometimes buttoned up buddy K-Dog let loose w/ a really good laugh, telling dirty jokes w/ DW at work, travelling w/ my special lady, snowboarding w/ JB and PM, going VT style w/ Purc. and JN, seeing my mother have a pleasant stress free day where she laughs out loud, talking shit to my boss (who did not like my LV post) over vodkas, golfing on a sunny day, spending a lazy Sunday watching the Red Sox, getting a nice booze buzz on a Saturday afternoon (sometimes), messing w/ my cat, banter back and forth w/ T-InPain (eventually my comedy writing partner), mowing the lawn w/ the John Deere, the easy casual relationship the Birds have w/ the Pumas, not shaving for 2 weeks, walking on the beach and rolling in the warm sand, swearing, peeing outside, using a chainsaw, speeding, listening to the Grateful Dead on a sunny day in the car, Hendrick's Martinis, wandering around NYC in the spring, hanging and joking, and laughing with my all too good and cool and forgiving friends, watching my nephew grow, holidays with my very family (both reg rights and in laws), turning down the lights and turning up the record player, writing my blog, Final 4 hoops, digging a hole on Lucy Vincent w/ JM the big time movie guy, eating really good food, talking about really good food, weddings, dinner club, movie club, falling asleep on the couch, my slippers, a flat screen TV, Batman comics, watering the indoor plants, growing herb garden, weed whacking, a satisfying dump, meeting the Frog-styles for dinner in Paris, picking out art for the house, trashy movies, reading Hemingway, reading US magazine, sleeping in on the weekends, challenging myself to make straight cash homey, Phish concerts, YouTube, porn, bubblegum, pizza, hamburgers, Stone IPA, chopping wood, The Godfather, Star Wars, Family Guy, telling a joke and watching my special lady shake her head but laugh, listening to cool tunes at Pos place, playing w/ our friends kids, lounging at camp, cursing at bad drivers, drinking Guinness at the Plough and Stars, punching A Lop in the head, the Vineyard, sitting in front of a fire, my mother's paintings, my father's looping lefty layup I have never been able to block, my brother's good spirit, drink wine at Christmas w/ my father in law, it's your night bro!, my bed at home, messing w/ JBis, getting messed w/ by S Macacacacac you oughta know by now! Vicarious living through Scotty Mustache, beers at Flatbread, Hen of the Wood, Gramercy Tavern, mexican food, tank tops, fake boobs on TV, ESPN, Boomer, hot wings, my Audi... oh man.... I am getting tired.

The moral of the story, is I enjoy; my wife, my family, my friends, my coworkers, and my life. Just not the service in Burlington!!!!

I've had enough of you over at the slots!!!

So back in VT and back in the work flow and not too worse the wear. Vegas is an exhausting place, especially 4 days there! We flew out early Tues. on United and it was pretty easy. We mostly got stuck in middle seats which sucks but overall it went pretty fast. A lot went on and it is not all exciting so I will hit a few of the high/lowlights. We stayed at Planet Hollywood and it was ok. The room was decent size, 2 queen beds, pretty clean, cheap, and very centrally located on the Strip. The casino was nice and mid level for not so high rollers such as ourselves. The food was mostly greasy pub style that was only ok and overpriced. Planet Dailies was the sight of our first and last meals in Vegas and it was fitting. Greasy burgers, crappy service from hung over stoners, and kind of high prices. Put it this way, I barfed after eating there the last day. Another food lowlight was the Earl of Sandwich. It was fast, pretty cheap, and hot but as my pal T-InPain pointed out... the "egg" in a breakfast sandwich started as a brown fruit juice looking substance? Gross. We ate at 2 Mexican places, Cabo Wabo and basically Cabo Wabo light. Both were fine if not exactly memorable. One "highlight" was dinner at Smith and Wollensky's. It is not as good as NY steak houses but the bartender was a character, the service was pretty solid and the food was good. I had a pretty solid prime rib and we had a bunch of apps that were all pretty good. Crabmeat and baby lobster cocktail were big hits. It was expensive but really pretty good. There are essentially 2 types of dining choices in Vegas... Really expensive high end knock offs that are not as good as their NYC (or Miami or LA) originals or there are burger joints/Tex Mex joints that are also overpriced and really only good for trashy and drunk gamblers (like ourselves). Another crappy burger joint we ate at was Blondies. somewhere in the bowels of Planet H. On the first day of NCAA playoff basketball they charged a $25/per person 2 hour minimum and then $25 per hour after that. That is a ton of wood to chop in the late morning on a Thursday! Service was so bad we were not sure we would get dollar 1 spent! Fortunately a cool bartender rolled by and hooked us up w/ a bucket of beers and we were on our way. I had some gross fried raviolis and a so so chicken club. The upside was that the place had 2million TVs and every game playing. Other than the steep price for bad service cheap beer it was a great place to watch basketball.

Quick aside, on St. Patty's Day 1/2 the town dressed up in green w/ goofy T-shirts that said "Fuck me I'm Irish" stupid hats and other shlocky shit. The first 2 days or March Madness the place filled up w/ 8 million dudes. Do you know what happens to a place w/ that kind of concentration of drunk guys? Imagine the gas odor, the shit talking, and the general wobbly intensity? Yeah, good to see once, but I never need to experience it again. $20 buckets of Coors Light (or Bud Light) were the special everywhere. I drank do much light beer I think I now urinate a hoppy blend of cool crisp Colorado stream water and fresh malty goodness! We also noticed way too many tank tops and lots of people rolling around town w/ gigantic yards of colored sugar water/margaritas. Some were so gig (about 3 feet) they required a strap. Seriously. A container of booze so big you need to tie it to your body to support it!

We also played a couple rounds of golf. The Las Vegas Golf Club was dry and not great (like my play), but it was close and casual and cheap. It was fun to get into the season. We also played the Angel Park mountain course. It was also reasonably priced but much nicer and very lush for the desert. We had a lot of fun (and light beer) at that course. By the way, the cab drivers in Vegas are the most interesting characters ever. They are all super chatty, friendly, and just plain weird! We thoroughly enjoyed each one w/ their singing, jokes, stories, and advice. Best cabbies anywhere. Period. One guy we had compared his man parts to O'Hare airport, not the biggest but the busiest! Why? Damned if I know! Another guy looked like Frak Delanor Romanowski from Seinfeld and had a million canned jokes and stories but they were all very well timed and very funny.

Finally our bodies had had enough and it was time to go. I have left out a bunch but it would take a couple hours to but in all the good stuff; like the flight home, the 4am blacked out guy w/ the hooker, TH handing our cards on the Strip, the great deals all over Vegas such as the Prive nightclub, the crazy Wed. night cab ride, my black jack mastery... I guess those are stories to be told over a bucket of beer sometime!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjFwrmWae6E

It's Miller Time!

So my special lady and I had a nice quiet weekend which was very pleasant. We made a few meals at home, slept in a couple days, exercised, and watched a couple movies (it was cold and rainy here). The highlight may have been the tasting of the inaugural Bird Beer! It was an amber ale from a kit, East Coast Steam I believe it is called. I was a little worried during the process as a few steps were fudged and early tastings were shall we say... underwhelming. But the finished product, after carbonating, bottle conditioning, and chilling was really not bad. It seems a little light on alcohol, perhaps in the 3% range but the hops bitterness was nice and the body was really pretty good. Not bad for a first effort. 1 thumb sideways. It was fun to do and I look forward to round two. Plus I have like 30+ beers in the fridge!

So I am off to Vegas tomorrow for the Final 4 and a little golf. Probably no posts (except possibly bail). So good luck finding time wasters... non of those out there on the intraweb!

5 Yrs

So today is my 5 year wedding anniversary. It is pretty crazy to think about. 5 yrs married and tack on a couple more that we were dating before that. At least from my side of the equation I would have to say that things are going better than ever for us (knock on wood). I love my wife. She is very smart, very beautiful, funny, kind, and actually pretty cool. In fact, she is very cool. I like to look at her when she is sleeping, I like to go for walks and chit chat, I like to joke around with her (she is good about laughing at my crass jokes), she is good with my family and I enjoy hers, she is a snazzy dresser, she is fun at a party, we enjoy nice food and drinks, It is great just sitting outside having a beer and shooting the shit. So today is a day I try to reset my priorities and remember not to take Mrs. Bird for granted and to celebrate the time we have and hopefully the time we will continue to share for a long time going forward. So there you have it. I love you A. And now all 5 people that read this including one or 2 strangers know it!!!

dang

Well, for one... I missed Chuck Norris' birthday yesterday. My fault. I hope I don't get a nun-chuck to the face when I am not looking! Plus Corey Haim died, which is sad but not unexpected. The real deal is that tomorrow 3/12 is an event that is huge. Much more important than even MY BIRTHDAY!!! Yeah, no shit.... it really is. Can you guess?

Did you think I wouldn't make a big caulk joke?!

Then you are crazy!!!! I mean, people were getting caulk in the butt... CAULK IN THE BUTT!!!!
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,588370,00.html?test=latestnews

Ok, now that we have dispensed with that unpleasantness... I watched a few minutes of the Oscars last night and the bottom line is that it is just really boring. I like checking out hot girls in dresses and I like movies but the writers for this show are terrible and the hosts and presenters are so flat it is just painful. At least Neil Patrick Harris put some energy in his number, it just wasn't that funny. I sort of enjoyed the fake George Clooney mad face... but not enough to invest more than 15 minutes watching.

My special lady is in lovely Mexico, I am a little jealous but it is my own fault I am not joining her. So what did I do w/ my first day off? Woke up around 9am, watched Sportscenter, ate breakfast, watched part of a crappy movie, then went to town to run some errands. I had a late lunch @ the Scuffer that was ok. Beer was cold and the burger was fine (fries were good). The burger was cooked the requested medium, cheese was nicely melted, and the bun was not dry. The service left a bit to be desired. One waitress kept switching from half asleep on the bar to hiding in the kitchen. The other one had to do work for 2. The bartender was more interested in setting up tables for a private party later in the evening than pouring drinks. When I am the only one at the bar I don't like to wait an extended period for a beer. Anyway, 1 thumb up... decent place to saddle up to the bar and watch a game.

Saturday we hiked up Camel's Hump which was fun but tiring then bottled our first batch of homebrew. Brewing beer is odd. Everything has to be super clean, and there are 1 billion variables and at the end of the day it might still suck! Ours has to bottle condition for a few more days but it seems like it is going to be a little light on flavor. Decent hops bitterness though. Guess we will see.

Right, back to looking for stories about caulk... big caulk, small caulk, for holes, cracks, gaps... sometimes it is even burn resistant. Can you imagine?! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

OK...so...

Man, we took a cab home Friday night and between the bad air freshener and the cheesy R&B tunes it was like riding in a mobile strip club (so I have been told).

My cat busted my micrometer that I use for my homebrew... he just used up 1 of those 9 lives. I was just trying to go to work and I have to deal w/ that?! My head almost exploded!!!

I really hate this health care debate. The democrats have not thought about how to pay for it and the republicans will battle to the death to defeat any health care reform because they know it will be a major victory for the other side. It is so divisive that we can't get anything worthwhile done. Meanwhile we keep AIG afloat so they can pay huge bonuses to assholes who are STILL losing money.

Speaking of money, if you are short funds and projecting an even bigger shortfall in the future you tighten the budget right? Which means you do not write new big tickets right? Maybe not... personal income down, personal spending up. I will be placing our savings on red in Vegas. Can't be any worse than buying Citigroup stock can it?

Now... take your weapon and STRIKE ME DOWN!!!!!

Pork on my mind

My dad stepped up yesterday and put together a very nice birthday party for my mother. It was impressive because 1) he is a guy, 2)they had just flown in from an extended work trip in New Orleans the previous day. Well; there were old friends, new friends, family, neighbors... people from near and kinds far. A couple highlights, Harrington's makes a damned good ham! These things are pre-cooked and relatively easy to heat up and serve. The only downside is that you cook the sucker for 2+hours and then it is cold in 30 minutes. Oh well, cold ham in a sandwich is still very good. Big Fatty's does a nice take out gig. We had baked beans, mac n' cheese, pulled pork, and coleslaw. I didn't try the 'slaw but everything else was very good and that was also easy to reheat and serve w/out it getting gross. I love pulled pork. LOVE IT!!!! There was also a pretty solid potato salad and plenty of other snacks. Pulled pork though...

Pretty successful Olympics no? We win overall which is good, Canada gets a thanks for coming out prize by taking the most gold medals and winning hockey gold, and Russia f**** up and has their president/puppet call them a bunch of fat cats!!! Hahahaha...

We watched the Informant w/ Matt Damon Saturday night and the preview made it look pretty funny and a little quirky. Well, do you know what it really was? Shitty. I guess that is harsh. It was ok. The problem is it was an interesting story about an interesting character and had a ton of potential but all of the good parts were in the previews. The movie was not well directed and wasted several very good actors/actresses. 1 thumb limply sideways. We probably should have gone w/ Yeti on the Sci-Fi channel!!!

Here is a little piece of advice; if you find yourself at a foosball table and are a few beers deep and then the guys who ask if you want to play have their own grip tape for the handles and WD40 for the pins? Just walk away. That last passage sounded like it was going to get pretty gross didn't it? Yeah, well, get your minds out of the gutter! This is a family site! Not like the weird Jackson or Osmond family though... more like Sister Sledge's family.