Man, Burlington is One Funky Town

Got back a little while ago from the usual afternoon coffee walk. Around 2pm or so a couple of us take a stroll through the mall attached to our office and grab a coffee, it's a nice break in the day. Beyond the caffeine, it is a great chance to witness the "colorful" side of Burlington. The funny thing about this town is that there are more ya-yos out at 2PM than there are at midnight. I am much more sketched out about rolling down Church Street mid day than at night. Well, today was EPIC! First off the mall was packed. Granted it was raining but seriously, how can the mall be packed at 2PM on a Friday? Don't people have jobs in this town? I know they were not all taking a 6 minute break. Think I must be the sucker for still working, I could be getting Obamamania $$ for free for f*ck sake. So then we get to the door to Church Street and the vagrant gang that hangs out there was massive. More cigarettes, tattoos, piercings, beggars than you have ever seen! It was like a seedy Phish concert. The great thing about this crowd is they mass right in front of the door and the cops never try to break it up. Meanwhile they are swearing, smoking, spitting, talking about domestic abuse, drug deals, GEDs... and looking for fights. It is like a hobo gauntlet! Vermont, the green mountain state... come for a visit!!!! On the bright side there was a hot girl working at the record store in the mall that my co-worker totally checked out. I barely noticed, her "7" jeans, Reebok sneakers, Gap t-shirt, brown hair w/ blond highlights... just kidding Lady-Bird (thx D.G.)!!! 1 1/2 thumbs up for Uncommon Grounds. Coffee is usually pretty good, food is mediocre, service is not bad for a coffee shop in VT? Thank goodness it is the weekend.

Fun w/ Politics

Ever notice how every time the President speaks, the stock market sells off? Maybe there should be less press conferences. Speaking of press conferences...

White House Press Secretary is Robert Gibbs, who I have to assume is a member of the famous Gibbs family (Barry, Robin, Maurice). Kind of all makes sense now, you all remember such Gibbs’ hits/White House catch phrases; Jive Talkin’, Stayin’ Alive, How Deep is Your Debt, More than an Mortgage, You Should Be Lending.

You Should be Lending…
Yeahhhh!!!

That's right, for people I work w/ I just recycled this joke. My motto is think globally, retell jokes locally. Dirty corporate sinners!

Stephen Harper... the Answer was Stephen Harper

Yeah, no reason to beat a dead horse on that one. Just sayin'. So I forgot lat week to review a movie we actually saw on the big screen, Taken starring Liam Neeson. It was actually not bad. The way they shot the movie you could believe that Neeson could pull off being a bad ass. As my coworker "Middle of a S. Macmacmacmac" calls it... old man strength! That's what ol' Liam was all about and it worked. The movie had decent flow, some hot girls, and a decent plot. We went in w/ low expectations and they were exceeded. 1 thumb up.

At the other end of the spectrum was our rental of Tropic Thunder. I sort of enjoyed it but not enough to pay for it. If I had run across it on the Encore action channel at 9PM on a Wednesday, I might have enjoyed it. For $6.99? Not so much. There were a few humorous moments but overall it was a dud. One outstanding performance however, was that of Tom Cruise. If I was nominating for the Best Supporting Actor that was going to Heath Ledger no matter what... I would have chosen Cruise of Robert Downy Jr., it was a phenomenal performance. That is what he should stick to, funny self-deprecating cameos. Seriously. The movie gets a 1/2 a thumb sideways.

We watched a bit of the Oscars. It was stupid. The lame singing and dancing? Absolutely brain numbing! I am not a huge award show guy anyway but I was more inclined to watch that stupid show The Amazing Race, or the Pistons and Cavs on TNT. The only part I enjoyed was the preshow when they interviewed a few actors @ the bar. Always funny to see who is knocking down cocktails before the show. Not surprising to see Seth Rogen and Jack Black there. I also enjoyed the Pineapple Express short and when James Franco presented an award to a Russian dude, totally butchered his name, and then Seth Rogen started cracking up... that was pretty funny. 1 thumb down overall though, lame.

Did anything deserve more than 1 thumb up this weekend? Yup, the comedy factor associated w/ the UVM cheerleading squad! Every time they tossed a girl up you fear for her life! But then the linebacker named "Darcy" somehow makes a super awkward catch to avert disaster. Teamed w/ the mascot who looked hungover/stoned and wandered around providing less team spirit than a harm turd... that's magic my friends!!!

Well, This is Awkward...

OK, here is a fun game. We have this enormous land mass that borders our country to the north. It could be argued they are our closest ally. Most people would have an easier time locating it on a map than say, Rhode Island. Many people have been there, myself many times. Yup, that's right... I am talkin' about Canada!!! This week our president journeyed to Canada for his first international visit and brought Obamania north of the border!!! People were stoked! So what is my game? Can anyone name the leader of Canada? Go ahead, leave a comment. Don't cheat either you dirty rats!

Just for fun I have even included his picture!

So Uh....

Some people made fun of me this weekend for having my special lady cook her own birthday brunch, and come up with the menu, and do the shopping...and buy herself flowers. I say P'shaw! I am not even sure that is a real word but I say it anyway! In my defense, I came up w/ one of my first plans ever. I also helped shop and prepare. I was an entertainer (I pushed bloody marys on the guests). I, well, that is about it... I guess I cleaned up. So yes, I will be taking her out for a nice dinner later this week and yes, I might have to stop by a clothes or jewelry store at some point this week thank you very much!!!

BTW... was I surprised when I called this number and they started in about Chunky Monkey...
1-866-BJ-TOURS

Friday the 13th!!!!

Yup, it's that wacky day were people get all freaked out talking about bad luck, omens, and what not. I can tell you that I did experience some anomalies this morning... I was caught behind what seemed like a fleet of soccer moms in mini-vans on my way to work. Yup, they took up slow and passing lanes and tried to keep it about 10 MPH below the speed limit. My favorite was the woman doing 15 below who never noticed my tailgating or shaking fist because she was staring straight down and trying to dial Zimbabwe on her cell phone... must have been trying to transfer funds to her email prince!

One fun thing about today is that it is an opportunity to release a new Friday the 13th movie and I am sure show old ones on TV. I am a huge fan and even have a few gems in my dvd collection. A quick stroll down memory lane brings me back...

Part I. who could forget the early eighties short shorts and gratuitous nudity? Plus, hello to Kevin Bacon who possibly peaked early in his career when he overacted his way through an arrow screwed through his chest! Bravo Kevin!
Part II. One Mrs. Vorhees killed and ol' Jason gets to keep her head around. Those effects sure were "special"!
Part III. Jason vs a motorcycle gang in 3-D!!!! Boo-YEAH!!! oh yeah, they also introduced the hockey mask, he used to wear a sheet on his face.
The Final Chapter. "Final" being very loosely used of course... but we do get an introduction to Tommy Jarvis of them Jarvis Boys, played by Cory Feldman!
New Beginning. Who is the new blood you ask? Cory Feldman!!! Yup he killed teenagers before his career.
Jason Lives VI. OK, Jason becomes the undead and it starts getting weird
New Blood VII. Released from the depths of Crystal Lake, blah, blah, blah...
Jason Takes Manhattan VIII. Now we are getting somewhere! Jason in the Big City? Small fish, big pond, needs the money, does things he is not proud of... you know the story. Plus he punches some dudes head clean off his body and off a skyscraper! Money in the bank!!!
Jason Goes to Hell:The Final Friday. Once again, kind of loose interpretation of the word "final". Of course, now Jason is an evil essence beyond human form... and the cover of the dvd is funny.
Jason X. Where can we go from hell spawn? How about space? Check and mate! I own this movie and I love it, one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen on film... and I have seen some random shit! The part where he goes into the virtual reality is can't miss film making!
Freddy vs Jason. Given the possibilities, this was a little disappointing. With two of my favorite horror characters it was not disappointing enough not to buy and watch 12 times!!!!

So here we are today... the new movie is a "re-imagining" of the original. You know, a hip director and big producer spend a ton of money on a remake. They have done it for Halloween and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Am I excited? What do you think!!!!

More Obamamania!!!

So we are 1 month into the Obama administration... how is it going? Remarkably similar to Old GW! There are a whole bunch of d-bags fighting for scraps and drawing out the process. So while these chumps w/ their locked in six figure salaries try to secure a new slide for their local high school, the economy continues to slide deeper into recession. CNBC usually is annoying but there was one good comment today, the economy is like an infection on your toe, if you treat it there is no problem, but if you leave it... staph infection and you get Michael Jackson face! We have become a world of beggars and unfortunately without the government's handout we are really quite helpless. We could suspend mark to market accounting... that would help. We could negotiate w/ rating agencies who have mad terrible mistakes and left many insurance companies and banks in capital death spirals... that would help. We could create a cram down of mortgages while insuring for losses on said mortgages and then taking a cut on any upside? Yup, that might help too. Instead, Barney Frank is going to grill heads of banks over their bonuses and then try to kill the banking industry and in turn the city of New York, THAT WILL NOT HELP!!!!!

Breaking news... Judd Gregg just told Obama to screw. So far this non-partisan shit is working out well. The Democrats cannot get out of their own way... didn't see that coming. Anybody notice how conservatives are pounding the table over out of control spending and all of the pork in this stimulus package? Those same folks didn't seem too bothered by the record spending and pork product we had seen the last 8 years?

2009... it's FANTASTIC!!!!!