F*ing weather

I am supposed to be en route to Las Vegas for a conference right now. Serious work, not even porn or anything. Seriously. I awoke this morning to a message from U.S. Air. They decided to cancel flights into Philadelphia just in case it was going to snow. It was not snowing at all this morning at 7AM but cancel they did... for "weather reasons". F*ing weather and more so, f*ing airlines. They are the biggest piece of shit companies in the country and use the weather excuse all the time. I also enjoyed waiting on hold for an hour and still not getting picked up. Guess that is what happens when you cancel thousands of flights. So now I am stuck in Vermont where it is officially cold as f***. Meanwhile I went to an ATM that had no money this weekend so I have 0 dollars. My hotel for the week? Non-refundable. Expedia.com? Morons. They kept asking for the phone number I used to book my trip. Well, Expedia.com, I did it on line you dumb f***s. But I did use the yellow pages to online shop for flip flops. They also asked for my email address, which I provided. They told me it was the wrong one. I was looking at my email at said address and staring at the email from Expedia. I reiterated the same email 3 times. The third time the woman said, "yeah, that is the one we have on file.". You just said it wasn't!!! Then she asked for the phone number I used to book and my head nearly exploded.

It is really cold here today. And not snowing.

So that was another disappointing Patriot loss. Just didn't have the horses and when Talib got knocked out of the game on that cheap Welker hit it was all over. Lots of stories about how Brady has lost it and how great Manning is. Pretty even talent they are playing with. It's not? Really? Huh.

Richard Sherman is a dick. He just is. I really don't think it is a race thing, I don't find him particularly violent or scary. People are either making it out that he is a ruthless thug (Erin Andrews did not look scared, she looked bemused) or that he has been miscast because of race and look at where he has come from and how much he has had to overcome. It is not really either of those. He is just a dick. He is an asshole as a person. Not a criminal and he is not a saint. He is just a guy who talks too much shit. He can write all the articles he wants in Sports Illustrated and he can flash is Stanford degree but lots of assholes write for SI (Joe Lemire), and lots of assholes went to Stanford. One last thing, nobody will remember who Richard Sherman is in 5 years. Anyone remember Revis Island? The only cornerback anyone remembers is Deion Sanders and really that is because he returned punts and kick offs and returned interceptions for touchdowns.

Man, I am in a bad mood.

What a Weekend

So my special lady and I busted ass this weekend. We took kids to swimming lessons Saturday and then went to Barnard to hang w/ friends. When we got back my lady cleaned the whole kitchen while I watched the Patriots whip up on the Colts. Sunday we worked all day, moving furniture, taking down the Christmas tree, cleaning up.

After our cat died the mice pretty much took over. I set out traps. The mice ate the poison out of the traps then took a shit all over the trap (and a glue trap) just to show me their disdain for my efforts. F*ing mice. Meanwhile my daughter came down w/ a slight fever Saturday so she was basically a puddle until last night.

On the bright side, the weather finally broke a bit Sunday so we went for a walk. The driving rain and 45 degree air helped melt an inch or two off the 5 inched of ice we had everywhere. Sure there was still some slight freezing rain/sleet but this was our best chance to get outside. Well, 30 yards out of the house our neighbor's vicious old dog came running out to bark at us. No problem, he barks at everyone but he is always chained up. Unfortunately the neighbor had a guest who had a hound dog who was not chained up. The dog came running at us barking. Then he bit me in the ass. No f*ing joke. Bit me. Almost got my kid. The douchebag owner came out yelling at the dog. Guy had on a busted vest and wellies. He collared the dog and asked me is I was ok. I said yeah except your dog bit me. He did not apologize. In fact w/out a word he threw the dog in his car and drove off. Asshole. Fortunately I had gloves in my back pocket and the bite did not break skin.

So I wake up this morning and my son is out of sorts. He sort of gag pukes on my wife. We feed him his morning bottle and he barfs all over the bedroom floor. You would think I would have learned but I gave him a little more of the bottle thinking maybe it was just a one off. Nope. He puked all over me. Awesome.  I am stoked for this week.

Jay About the Holidays

This post was alternatively titled... Jay About to go on a 2 state murder suicide spree!  Just kidding, I have too much to live for. People depend on this blog.  And my good looks and charm. So in the week leading up to Christmas my kids basically decide sleep is for suckers. We recently found out this is due at least in part to both teething.  So my special lady and I are already a mess heading into a big travel week. We actually started with a decent drive south and a quick stop to see friends who have migrated to the West Coast.  Our kids were pretty well behaved and it was really good seeing them.  So far so good. We get to my parents and I discover my cat has barfed in his carrier. Shit. Whatever, I clean it up and we unload. I then am bombarded by the fact I forgot to to payroll for my nanny so I need to find a way to pay her ASAP. The Benefit Mall payroll service sucks. Bad. I am on the phone dealing with this when my mother tells me the cat died. He just dropped dead. I don't want to minimize this fact. I actually really cared for my cat even though he was an asshole at times. He was my/our first pet and was good for our house. He was good to the kids and a decent mouser. RIP Boom. Well, that was a tough start to Christmas Eve. The rest of the week featured no sleep, my head almost exploding, a dog shitting under my nephew's bed, my mother walking in on me taking a shit, my in-laws having a 30 minute discussion about chopped nuts and the container they were kept in (and later revisiting the discussion), less sleep, and me trying not to go bananas as a crowd decided to have a party under my kids sleeping bedroom so my older nephew could take a nap in the living room. Needless to say I had a tough week.  There were a couple highlights though...

Bizen in Great Barrington was great. It is a sushi joint right downtown.  The menu is too big and pretty unwieldy but the fish was fresh and the special rolls were really phenomenal. I liked the lobster roll, the fried oyster was solid, kind of a seared scallop roll was nice, and there were a couple others that were great. The miso soup was good and they have a very interesting Saki list. We went with a delicious cold unfiltered number. That was a fun night. I can't find a website for them though which irritates me.

Another fun note was our trip home. The kids were fussing, especially my boy. He also smelled like poo. We finally pulled into McDonald's in Rut-Vegas and I took him in to change. After putting a blanket AND changing pad on the changing table I got to work. When I dropped his drawers I got the bad news... poop was EVERYWHERE. On his pants, on his onesie, on his legs, on his socks. I had to almost completely undress him, further smearing shit all over the changing pad and everything else. To his credit he just laid there, slightly bemused. 82 wet wipes later I exited w/ him wrapped in a blanket and a plastic bag full of poop covered clothes. Fantastic! Needless to say I did not get my cheeseburger.

New Years Eve ended the fiasco... it was quiet but very pleasant. We had friends stop by for drinks after the kids went to bed and we had a nice laugh and talked about wet wipes, illicit activities, and other nonsense.  It was a nice way to finish what could best be described as an up and down 2013.  I am very thankful for my friends, family, and relative health. I wish all 3 of you a wonderful new year, good luck out there!

It's a mess

This weekend was a mess up here in the North Country.  While NYC enjoyed a 70 degree day, we had rain/sleet/freezing rain/snow... that left a sheet of ice on everything. My car was covered in snow and then a 1/2 inch layer of ice.  I really wish I had a garage. It made it tough to really do anything. Am I stoked to drive around in the freezing ice tomorrow? You know it!!!

One thing that did happen was that my kids turned 1 yesterday. I don't want to jinx it but after a very difficult beginning they are awesome. They are still small and there may be challenges ahead but when I think back to where we were in December of 2012 to where we are now it is amazing. My little boy is a bowling ball w/ tons of personality, no interest in sleep, and a hard head which he likes to use for head butts. My daughter is sweet and intelligent, and a little snaggle tooth. They are great and interesting in their own ways. They did get the shaft from their bummer parents though. A puzzle toy and banana bread w/ a couple candles. Boooo.

For Christmas I would like for my son to stop waking up at 5AM and screaming. That would be a cool gift, and pretty cheap.

So I know that the media loves themselves some Peyton Manning. Maybe it is because he is a goofy dude who is unattractive and does not have a super model wife, and often chokes in big games but people in general seem to love him and hate Tom Brady. That is fine. I thought I might point out that the record for touchdowns that Peyton just grabbed from Brady is impressive, kind of. Manning now has 51 touchdowns versus the 50 Brady threw in 07. Manning has thrown the ball 631 times so far. Brady threw it 578 times in the entire season. So if Brady had another 53 attempts would it matter? When you throw a touchdown every 11.6 attempts, that would actually put him on pace for 54+ TDs. So sure, the record is fine but anybody tossing the ball 700 times a season should find a nut or two along the way.

Merry Christmas and assorted holidays everyone!

Holy Crap!

Russia has sprinted by the U.S. as the top reader of the Jay About Town Blog! Thank you Russia!!!

Um, Hi

Yeah, I know... it's been awhile. And you might be asking, what have you been up to? None of your damned business!!! Actually, I have been busy I suppose but not really doing anything particularly interesting. I have been mildly addicted to the Discovery show Alaska: The Last Frontier. I am not sure it needs a full review though. All you need to know is that for people who live off the land and are homesteaders... these people are pretty darn good looking and well educated. They could make the show 20 minutes instead of 48 by removing the scene replays.  Oh yeah, and they are all related to Jewel. Yeah, the one who used to have the f*d up teeth. She was still quite attractive... for a homesteader.

I have recently watched a few movies... I really was excited about The Iceman with Michael Shannon. Sucked. No plot, and hard to figure out why they needed to make the movie.

We had our office holiday dinner at Hen of the Wood in Burlington.  I thought it was another excellent meal. I actually escaped w/out the heartburn I had last time, although maybe I could not feel the burn due to the raging headache I was rocking?  Anyway, the flank steak was nicely cooked and very flavorful. The pork rinds were also pretty greasy and delicious.

My kid has recently discovered the joys of night screaming. I was on solo duty last week and he was losing his shit so I brought him into bed.  He screamed in my ear then turned himself perpendicular to me, kicked me in the ribs (while screaming) for a bit, then finally fell asleep. Thanks pal.

Service at the Icehouse in Burlington gets 2 thumbs way down. I think I have figured out why the place is always empty... not very good food, priced way too high, and served by absolute morons. If you have recently "changed the menu"... then you should probably change the actual f*cking menu!

I was meeting a buddy at Barkeater's for a drink last week. When I popped in I was the only one there (5pm or so?). I asked for a Manhattan. The woman behind the bar got immediately flustered and started explaining how (even though she was behind the bar) she was not actually a bartender but she could probably make me a Manhattan.  Whoa!!!! Back up chief, I'll take a beer. She then told my buddy and I that there was an older guy who was about to arrive and he liked our seats and liked for his buddies to be able to sit there w/ him. So even though the bar was completely empty could we move down? When did I get to the Icehouse?!



I would like to thank the older woman who cut me off several times on Rt 7 the other day. I forgot how much I hate other drivers the other day! I am not sure why they put rearview mirrors in cars anymore. As with cigarette lighters they are only used by about 2% of the population. I should text that joke to a friend of mine tonight on my drive home. While swerving in between lanes looking at my radio.

Only one thing will make me feel better about the state of things...

Jay About the Public House

I could bore you with the tale of my Thanksgiving but it truly was uneventful. With babies in the mix it is nice to get together w/ family but it is boring to think about after the fact. It is not like we turned it into a rager or Uncle Jerry passed out and pooped his pants. We just had good food, pretty low fuss, very calm. So I will avail you with grand tales of our family venture to the Public House in Hinesburgh.  The weather in this part of the country is shit right now. It is too cold to really take the kids out and there is no snow to play around in anyway so it is just cold, gray, and gloomy. We were getting pretty restless by Sunday afternoon and w/ the kids deciding to say f*** you to their naps and their father... we needed an exit from the homestead. We tried driving for a bit but they were not interested in a car nap so we cruised over to Hinesburgh and decided to try a new to you joint, the Public House. Now the P.H. bills itself as a place for "Food. Friends. Drink"... when you bring two over tired babies into an establishment you test the "friendly" factor pretty damn quick.  Well, they were friendly. It helped we got there early, like 4:15PM or so but they seated us right in the mix in a booth near the bar. The place was pretty quiet but had a nice vibe. The space was a little industrial but warm and inviting. We did not want to test fate so we ordered a beer and a couple apps. I wanted to continue to get not slim so I stabbed my lady in the back and ordered fries even though she was not really interested. Our server looked by a kid who should have been selling meth on Church Street but to our surprise he was very friendly, professional, and courteous. Our beer and food came promptly and was all pretty solid. The owner stopped by and said a quick hello. A hostess stopped by to say hello. My son has been a real ball buster all week. Seriously. This blond woman stops by and bends over to chat and he edges his way over and flashes a huge smile and his twinkling blue eyes in a shameless flirt that his old man has never attempted not thought to attempt. Little pip. The kids were very well behaved actually. We had a couple close calls w/ the plate of fries and my beer but otherwise they were quite and content to play w/ the menus. The food itself was pretty good. We ordered a side of fries that were hot, a little crispy, and maybe slightly too garlicky but really pretty good. We also ordered a pretzel (actually 2 per order). They were warm and crusty on the outside, soft on the inside, just a little salty and very good. The honey mustard dipping sauce was also tasty with a little kick. Decent beer selection on tap. Nothing crazy but plenty to choose from. As he brought us the check, our waiter advised us to take it easy, the weather was turning a bit and might be a bit slick. That small gesture earned him a little extra gratuity. I appreciate that effort and often find it lacking in Vermont. 1 3/4 thumbs up.

BTW, I watched the original Oldboy as it is supposedly a classic and a Spike Lee remake was bombing in the theaters this weekend. Pretty visually stunning and certainly unexpected. While not shocking by current standards(which are very low), it was a grade A f***d up premise and movie. I can not exactly recommend it but I also found it entertaining and at times very good. So on thumb chopped off and sent to you in a box sideways...