Beef Jerky Time! Well, this is some kind of f*d up way to start a year, huh? Stock market in the shitter, China's economy even worse, North Korea claiming to be testing an H-Bomb, Iran and Saudi Arabia battling, and that is on top of all the crazy stuff we already had going on?!
On the bright side, I have been cleaning up vomit for the last 24 hours, including a projectile that got all over me and the couch. It is really hard to clean puke. It gets everywhere and smells really bad. It is so gross in fact that when I got poop on my hand while trying to help my other kid wipe her tush it really seemed like no big deal?! My little girl weighs about 29 pounds and seriously her poops are bigger than mine. I am sure I have mentioned that before but it still blows my mine. She is also a champ getting potty trained at the moment. My son gives 0 F***s. Maybe even less than 0. If you could find someone more enthusiastic about the world I will give you $10 though. Poop, pee, and puke... the three P's that are currently ruling my tiny world.
Speaking of giant steamy turds, Donald Trump is visiting Burlington, VT tonight. The event starts at 7PM but the first person in line showed up at 4:30AM and when we cruised by around 2PM there was a line around the block. The Flynn Theater seats 1400 people, there have been 20,00 tickets released and we heard a guy in the line say he just logged on and tix were still outstanding. Nothing could go wrong there right? I spoke to a relatively intelligent guy I know (full disclosure, he is from the South), and he said Trump is tapping into the National conscience, he is saying what everyone is really thinking but afraid to say. That is a terrifying thought. I certainly am a believer that we are too politically correct and people are afraid to have difficult conversations on current topics but keeping all Muslims out of the country or building a wall between us and Mexico, and some of the other nonsense? Crazy talk. Of course the real comedy is that if it comes down to Trump and say Bernie Sanders it is not a slam dunk either way. How have we gotten here? Every election I say, this is the worst it has ever been. 2 GW Bush wins? He was a train wreck. Obama had hope but not much else and while he has gotten some good things done it has been a shaky presidential run. But who did he run against? Mitt Romney? That guy sucked but looks like a white knight compared to this current shit bag of crazy. Cruz and Rubio don't believe in science. Jeb Bush hands out baby turtles to remind people how he turtled once the race began. Chris Christie is fat. Fiornia can't run a food truck. Ben Carson is like Dr Nick on the Simpsons. Hillary can't stop lying and playing into the crazy lady narrative. Bernie doesn't buy into Capitalism... which only happens to be one of the central cornerstones upon which we built this country. And then you have the Donald. A huge blustery horse's ass. I suppose when you live in a place where some talentless f*sticks like the Kardasians dominate every news outlet in the country on a daily basis this is what you should expect?
1 quick review. The Little Garden Market in Charlotte gets fresh oysters for Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. I always think about it and this year ordered some. The owner is a super friendly guy. He shucked 'em, wrapped them for transport and gave me some house made Mignonette sauce. The oysters were delicious, fresh, a little briny but not too stank. It was a nice little treat. If you like oysters and live in the area maybe give your holiday a little boost next year.
OK, one more... I liked the new Star Wars movie. I liked the pace, I liked the story, it was a fun movie. Is it as good as Empire? No, nothing is or probably ever will be so if you set your bar at a reasonable level it is a pleasant way to spend a couple hours.
Ok, time to go see what weird body excretion awaits me at home!
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