Jay About Stowe

Hey, what do you know... we ditched the kids w/ my folks and made a run for it! Well, we actually cruised down to Stowe for an evening of revelry to celebrate the big 40 for our pal LB. So where to start? First off, it was about 35 degrees and snow/sleeting as we drove south. WTF?! It is mid October? I need to move south. Then I remember we may soon be in the clutches of our new president Bernie/Trump and I remember that my next move may be north... like to Canada. Anywho, we stopped in Richmond for a bite to eat. Wanting to go light we stopped at Sweet Simone's in Richmond. That place is pretty solid. We grabbed a slice of cold flatbread and a huge bowl of autumn soup followed by a lemon meringue cupcake. The soup was hot and had a nice squash flavor w/ toasted pumpkin seeds which added nice texture. The flatbread had goat cheese and sundried tomatoes if I correctly recalled and was pretty good. The piece de resistance was the cupcake. The cake was almost like a corn muffin but moist and sweet w/ a lemon custard inside and covered by a meringue that was slightly caramelized and while not bracingly sweet it was delicious. We have tended to find the sweets are the way to go (coffee is nice too), they are all fantastic. The savory stuff is ok but you can go elsewhere for that. It was now solidly snowing.

Further south we checked into the Mountain Road Resort. Driving up it looks like a motor lodge (but the location is decent right next to the Harvest Market. The main lobby was a welcome surprise... bright, modern with clean lines and well thought out, modern furniture and fixtures. They offered a friendly greeting along w/ cookies and coffee or tea. Our room was spacious and also redone in a contemporary style. It was really more than adequate. As for unexpected amenities, they have a large indoor pool w/ sauna, lounge, and not working hot tub. It was a great area to chill out. 2 fellow guests were doing just that... and shot us terribly go the f*** away glares when we stopped in to also chill. Well, screw them. We hit the outdoor hot tub and relaxed. 1 3/8 thumbs up mostly quality for the price.

After we were appropriately loosened up we headed for dinner at Doc Ponds. This place is the casual stepchild of the Hen of the Wood mini empire and I think they nailed it. We ate everything so I won't take too much time here but the food is unpretentious, well priced, and delicious. $7 burger that is well sized, well cooked, and has a spot on bun? Yes please. The blue balls dish? Yeah, I think I will have fried blue cheese and rice balls thank you very much. The carrot side is also a got to have item if you are wondering. The very lightly breaded, super tender, and perfectly seasoned calamari also tore it up. As I said we sampled just about everything and there was nothing I would not happily eat again. The beer and booze menu was fantastic (although cocktails need to be turned over for colder climate) and the service was very friendly, even w/ a raucous crowd. We were also treated to a Masshole serenade of a new song "LB you are a horse's ass!". Over and over and over. It was loud, it was relaxed, it was a great pubbby scene, 1 7/8th thumbs up. It felt like the old Alchemist w/ a little more room to have a drink.

We finished up w/ a drink at The Bench. Nice space but they were already wrapping up when we rolled in at 10:30 (it was Saturday?). There were 2 angry bartenders who both looked like movie villains. After several IPAs I was prepared for my Die Hard moment but it was not needed, probably for the best. Nice beer menu in any event, even if the bartender did not know the beers on it. 1 thumb up pending further revue.

We did a little totally unnecessary post game work and then hit the hay. Next morning there was a coating of snow on the car. Shit. We stopped for more treats at Sweet Simone's. The peanut butter cookie was great, so was the coconut cream tart.

2 thumbs up on the weekend as a whole, it was fun.

Oh, you said "Tapas" joint... yeah, ok, that sounds fun

Get it? Yeah? No? Maybe?

I was reading a "lifestyle" magazine last night whilst on the throne, let's call it fancy food and stuff, they are all the same these days. I found myself fed up w/ the format. These rags used to be about journalists travelling to cool places and trying new foods and wines... now it is all one big vanity project for asshole punks who inherited a bunch of money and don't know what to do with it. So you have a bunch of kind of fat dudes w/ giant beards or waxed mustaches wearing goofy outfits who somehow have smoking hot girlfriends in long flowing dresses. They don't have jobs but do have unbelievable apartments in NYC and summer houses in upstate NY where they pickle nettles. Why do I still read these things? I am a shithead clearly. With that said... I give you my new web magazine, Umlaut, by pretentious people, for pretentious people!

-9/24/15 Exclusive Town on the Hudson. I park my Porsche 365 in the imported Barbados sand driveway and hop on the Ugandan pony up the final 500 yards to the house. I am as struck by the 25,450SF Victorian as I am by the sloping thirty thousand acres leading to the 1 mile of frontage on the river. The property is dapple with afternoon sunbeams and dotted with a maze of fruit trees and wildflowers meticulously maintained by a team of 32 (not upstate new york born) farmers! Out front on the stoop I see my friends Tanner in his custom seersucker suit cut just right at 5 inches too short at the sleeve and leg! He whittles wood next to part time model Uni, Leisure consultant Prairie Moon, and her partner mailbox designer, Zander twirling his waxed 'stache. Our hosts are Dean and Carrie Underfall the IIX. Obviously, they are inside putting the final touches on the lamb that has been braising the last 4 weeks. Dan is a dog catcher and Carrie spends time designing hand made shoelaces for sandals. The kids dance around the Maypole deftly weaving between the dogs and the potbelly pigs never once getting a stain on their Summer Whites!

After a few rounds of Barbu (look it up) and some lawn chess we settle in around the kitchen to taste appetizers of pickled nettles on hand roasted peach slices and whipped butter. The salty sweetness pairs well with the Malvasia Istriana wine and the hand picked cashews toasted w/ Scandinavian sea salt and Japanese white pepper.

Dinner is out on the grounds overseeing the sun approaching the mountains in the west. The Underfalls decide on Galapagos turtles rather than traditional table and chairs giving guests an ever-changing view of the fig trees as they eat the braised lamb surrounded by truffled lobster potatoes in gold leaf and individually shucked snow peas in a light olive oil and child tears dressing. The turtle table attached to their shells helps hold plates ok but makes for a bit of a challenge managing the hand cut crystal glasses full of Assyrtiko from the Greek island of Santorini.

We finish standing on one leg with a rye whiskey locally sourced and distilled on site in the bespoke distillery in the barn while making out own rear view mirror coozie party favors. It has been a grand afternoon on the river... now where is my pony?!

                                                                                                           -Pistachio Gregory

Gettin' weird in Great Barrington

So we took the kids down to my in-laws in the Berkshires for our annual Labor Day extravaganza. Between golf, boating, and kid meltdowns we usually slip out just my lady and I for a night out w/ friends in Great Barrington. We decided on dinner Sunday night at a place we have generally liked, The Prairie Whale. Well, this must have been one of their busiest nights of the year. The place was packed and we felt lucky to get on the list (no resi's for party less than 6) for a scant 45 minute wait. It was hot, real hot. Nearly 90 degrees outside w/ 80+% humidity and no AC inside, everybody was sweating a bit. A lovely couple was finishing up dinner and gave us their 2 seats at the bar while they waited (forever) for their leftovers. So we began our cocktail vigil. After a while a bartender (there were 3) came over and gave us a cocktail menu. I could only see bourbon up on the bar so I asked if they had rye. The hipster clownf*cker behind the bar gave me so much attitude it hurt. Apparently they did. So we ordered our drinks and my buddy and I bellied up to the bar while the ladies cruised outside where it was a little cooler. We drank our solid Manhattans at a leisurely pace and then waited to reload, and waited, and waited, and waited... We got to the point that our conversation broke down as we tried to make eye contact with anyone behind the bar. Mustache guy was still angry I asked if they had rye so no luck there. D-Bag Jones in the sweatsuit only beer-d the cool group of well dressed gay guys and an older group of regulars. The woman behind the bar seemed to just be doing laps to stay in shape. Finally we got Stache back in the mix. DG asked what they had on tap. "Uh, we have Six Point Resin a double IPA, Big Elm IPA, Thunderstruck IPA, a bunch of IPAs, blah blah blah." He was so mad at the amount of IPAs. He also didn't apparently care that we could not see the beer board and were actually interested in what some of those IPA's might have been? We ordered the Resin. I do not care for Stache guy.

Hey, we waited so long for that drink our table was ready! So we sat down and decided to order a bunch of small plates to share. My lady got bad news first, they were out of Rose (rose-ae). They were out of a few dishes and had a few substitutions. No more arugula, only mustard greens. Summer was indeed over I guess. Ok, let's start w/ a dozen oysters and then we ordered some other stuff. They only had 4 oysters. No problem, one each. They only had 3. They found another one and now had 4. Wait... you found a fourth? Found it where exactly? The food itself was good, not great. The cheeseburger was ok. The tagliatelle was pretty good. The one oyster was fine. The one real hit was the fried eggplant w/ burrata... that was delicious. I asked what the beers were again and opted for something a bit lighter, Six Point Sweet Action, a 5% pale ale. Nope, they hit me w/ another double IPA Resin in a pint glass. F* you Jay, you will drink what we tell you!!! Our server at one point also came to us and said she had been cut loose and someone else would be helping us the rest of the way. Cut loose for the night, forever? This was becoming a disturbing trend. We passed on the deserts they probably did not have.

Overall it was a fun night and a fun story but kind of a disappointing meal.

Our final stop was for a nightcap at Allium. This could be its own crazy post but let me just mention we had a conversation w/ "black Shaune" (his words) who came over to explain why he was fighting w/ his 70 year old "uncle" who was a pedophile he had know forever mostly from a youth group and they were just messing around. "Uncle" had stormed out of the bar after telling Shaune to "Get your hands off me!" drawing a rebuke from the bartender who struggled to contain the situation. It was a scene, although I learned that I was not funny and could not tell jokes. Well, Shaune was not wrong. Shortly thereafter he was asked to leave (headed down the street to "the Well"). On our way out I saw Stache heading out for his nightcap. I fought back the urge to kick him in the knee and we called it a night.

Lot of action packed into a quiet Sunday night in an upscale NYC summer escape. Glad we were in the middle of it.

Jay About Camden, Maine

We were in Maine last week and I did not really follow the news at all... so I essentially missed this financial market implosion. That was a nice week. Back at work this week and it is ugly. So let's go back to the good times shall we? My special lady and I managed to get away for an evening leaving our kids w/ my folks and we headed on down to Camden. It is a lovely town on the ocean, well manicured and filled w/ huge old sea captain houses that unlike many other towns are still in very good shape. How many ships were in the mix back in the day and why did these captains need 7000SF houses? And who is buying these intense joints now? Not me. We did stay in a refurbished old house that was turned into a hotel and recently renovated and re branded as a lark hotel property... Whitehall!  My wife found this place on Jetsetter and we got a great deal on a really nice mix of modern and rustic w/ plenty of wood and metal, nice light fixtures, hip furniture, and plenty of porches to sit and read outside. The room was pretty big, clean and comfortable. It was a little hard to get the hot water going, the toilet was too close to the wall and the "smart TV" was not hooked up to the Internet but otherwise I really liked the room.

The restaurant Pig and Poet is run by Top Chef contestant Sam Talbot and was pretty solid. Nice space, good menu. We had drinks and apps early. The bartender Jen made one of the best Moscow Mules I have ever had... must have been the house made ginger syrup. The wings could have been cooked a bit more but the flavor was ok. Breakfast the next morning was much better. Buffet style but served in small dishes to make it feel more personal we both went for seconds and thirds of the well cooked baked eggs, delicious biscuits, moist coffee cake and more. Sam was busy cooking, busing, and serving. Next time we would like to try dinner... several people came for the fried chicken which ran out by the time we came for our night cap in the mid evening hour.

We actually had made a plan to try local darling Long Grain and I stand by that decision. It was packed and had a ton of energy. Our server sucked. They had a pretty interesting beer list and the menu was approachable and pretty darn enticing. We started w/ a green mango salad that was fantastic. Fresh and nice flavor without the heavy handed fish sauce overdose that often turns the dish. We then shared a Pad Ke Mao flat noodle dish that had a touch of spice but really nice noodles w/ delicious tofu, really well seasoned, plenty of basil and just a really nice dish that makes you appreciate what a well done Thai dish can be.We also shared a Thai stew that was off the chain. Spicy, fragrant, and viscous form the ribs swimming in the broth... this dish was really special. You drop some sticky rice in and it was just great, we crushed that shit!  The desert was the cherry on top that really sealed the deal, a coconut custard that was almost like creme brulee topping sticky semi sweet red rice was luscious, flavorful and just enough sweet that you knew it was a treat for after dinner. 2 thumbs up, this place was pretty darn solid (minus our waitress).

Jay About the Shelburne Tap House

So this weekend my family and I moved. Our old farmhouse had closed in around us and we needed a new challenge. Moving is a challenge. A giant sucky challenge. That said we are in and that is great. Our new place is nice and has most everything we want and need (except the grotto and the Fenway picture I want in the mancave). First and foremost I would give a hardy 2 thumbs up to Lowell's moving company. They were professional, courteous, efficient, and friendly. They nailed the quote and then banged out both sides of the move quickly and carefully. I would recommend them without hesitation.

So after unpacking for several hours on Friday we needed a mellow dinner. We decided to cruise to a pretty close spot the Shelburne Tap House. The place that had been in the space was called something like the Shelburne Tavern and was a dump. It felt like you were drinking in a friend's unfinished basement and there was never anyone there.

The new space has been done over and even though it is in a strip mall it is much more inviting, more like a middle of the road tavern/steak house. Wood, darker colors, decent bar area. So apparently Friday was their first night so it was very busy... and very slow. The bar was packed and 80 percent of the tables were full at 7-7:30. I will say that a guy, possibly the owner was keeping an eye on the room and when we were not immediately seated he came to say hello and let us know the hostess would be there soon. Attention to customers is a good sign if nothing else. We sat down and ordered the whole shebang right away. Our waitress was nice but a little over her head. There were large gaps in service and my second beer was not what I ordered and came after I was done eating. First night so I will let that one slip. The food itself was unexceptional. My special lady's salad was Sysco all the way. My burger was fine, I wish it came w/ fries rather than chips. Overall I would say 1 thumb tentatively up w/ a huge caveat... the place is what it is and expectations should be tempered. I think you can take your family and kids will be ok. I also think you can have a decent meal and beer while watching football on a Sunday. And for a local watering hole that is perfectly fine in my book, every neighborhood needs that comfort spot.

Couple side notes... I have reviewed before but the Taverna Khione in Shelburne served up another delicious and inventive meal Saturday night. That is one of the best places locally and woefully under appreciated. Vermonters (or more likely out of towners here for the summer) are terrible diners. They can't get enough of overpriced pub food but anything interesting is met with a "no thanks... I don't like octopus". Sad really.

Avett Brothers put on another solid energy show at the Shelburne Museum. That is a fun venue, well set up, comfortable, beautiful, terrible acoustics. But the Bros. ran though some oldies and newer stuff and just rocked out. It was solid.

Big week for the birds.

Jay Definitely NOT About the Yangser Dorjee Himalaya Restaurant

So this place is in my building and right below us. It is the closest drinking/dining option w/out a doubt. I have eaten there a couple times and it is fine, not great, just fine. It is also always empty. Sometimes you see a few tables full at lunch but if you wanted a seat it is certainly not a problem. Why take the shot? Well, it helps set the scene for why this place is on close out watch. There is plenty of traffic down here at the waterfront, the Skinny Pancake down the street is always busy. That said it is a tough location where YDHR is and it was never easy for the Mexican place when they were there.

So after a couple months being open YDHR finally got a liquor license and it looks like they have a few beer taps. The sign (handwritten) on the door says the "Bar/Snacks" is open 2-5 and then dinner from 5-9 or whatever. So my co-workers and I had a brief window yesterday to have a beer and debrief on the day. We decided to pop on down and patronize our neighbor a little before 5.

When we came in the place was empty as usual. The hostess was no where to be seen. As we moved towards the back a couple waitresses were eating dinner. They gave us confused frightened glances as if we were robbing the place, and/or they were frightened natives from a remote island who had never seen other people before. I stepped up and asked the guy that looked like the manager if we could have a beer on the patio outside. He told us that they considered themselves a restaurant and did not serve drinks without food. I explained to him we were walking out of the empty "restaurant" and going down the street to another restaurant that does serve beers without food at 4:45PM.

When you are perpetually empty, serve pedestrian food, and do not advertise... are you in a position to turn any business away? Particularly what could turn into a food order or longer term regular clientele? I am not sure serving a couple of early beers will turn you into a bar scene by the way. Not when no one knows where you are, your location is not great and you have no TVs to watch sports.

I had thought that YDHR was not long for Burlington and gave them under 1 year, I am downgrading that to 4 months unless the owners have family money or are willing to go bankrupt. I feel bad for there employees who are now garnering 0 tips. Pretty poor effort all the way around, 2 huge thumbs down and a disappointing headshake.

Jay About Neil Young

So my special lady and I team up w/ LB Squared and the JBs for an evening w/ Neil Young. We started over at one of my legal council's place for some fun, conversation and a really nice meal. It was then onto the venue. We had to navigate at least one drunk driver and a couple other ya-yos as well as crazy traffic but LB's traffic app got us to our destination. I must admit I was not going in w/ high high expectations. While I really like Neil's music and he has never played in VT before... I have seen a few of the old guard play past their prime and it is generally not pretty. The voices are usually strained and hollow, and the musicianship is haggard at best. When you look at Neil Young he certainly looks like he will fill that bill.

Happily this was not the case. Hey, Neil Young has never had a beautiful voice but it is unique. What came through Sunday night was strong and sounded just like he has always sounded (more or less). I am not getting into the opener Nora Jones, she was fine. Neil opened on piano and banged out a couple classics solo on acoustic guitar and harmonica. He then moved to the first Monsanto tune on the pipe organ? He busted out the band and played a few more semi acoustic before breaking out the big stick to really rip. The backup band Promise of the New is apparently made up of some of Willy Nelson's kids and they were a nice accompaniment. One kid busted out Moonlight in Vermont and sounded just like Willy. Neil was fierce. His guitar ripped and he was bopping around invading other musicians space all over the place. He was great. They are touring for a new album and it kind of sucks but they mixed in a bunch of the old tunes that were great and they jammed out on the new stuff enough to keep you engaged. They played one long set trying to evade the weather that managed to remain at bay.

Overall 2 thumbs up. I was very pleasantly surprised at how hard a 70 year old rocks out. And apparently he dates the Mermaid...

Actually Not a Dilemma at All?

So I cruised into the recently opened Doughnut Dilemma this morning looking for a coffee and maybe treat myself to a doughnut. There were only 2 other people there and at least 4 employees so it was not busy. The guy behind the counter fumbled around for a bit as I perused the doughnut selection.He then presented me a tiny "large" coffee cup about 1/4 filled. He said it was almost a small and I could probably have it for free, the beans were doing something, they literally had no more coffee. At that point I cut him off and told him I was all set and took off. I have had doughnuts from the place and they are expensive but pretty good. That said, they are not open Mondays, sometimes open, sometimes closed on the weekends when they attend the local farmer's market, and I have had issues getting coffee before. The sheen appears to have worn off and the place is often empty. It is a tough location but I think they need something besides just a diner counter w/ nice doughnuts? So it will probably be another couple weeks before I venture back in there... the dilemma easily solved for now.

Jay About Catching Up

Hey we made it onto a website... check out the Prohibition Pig accolades page! What have I been up to lately? Actually quite a bit, but hard to find time or motivation to write about it.

For instance, a couple friends and I went up to Jay Peak to see Widespread Panic play. Hotels were pretty nice, very fun venue even if acoustics not great, super chill place to see a concert overall. We even learned a couple tricks but I don't want to give them away... suffice it to say, if you are going to a concert there, get a Stateside room. The water park is fun too. I enjoyed to waterboarding experience of La Chute. I even had fun trying to surf and nearly getting a concussion. When you see the overweight 65 year old woman who has trouble walking but floats effortlessly on the indoor wave it looks so easy! She is a ringer!!!! I have to imagine she may have even been attached to ropes from the ceiling it was that easy for her. Meanwhile, I was on my feet for 31 seconds before I face planted and lost my trunks. No one even laughed... they looked mad I was taking up their wave time. It is like the looks I get when I hit on 16 up in Montreal. Daggers.

I also went down to see college friends in NYC. I stayed a night w/ my buddy at the Baccarat Hotel. Swanky. Excellent service, super high tech (the TV is IN the wall mirror), and just super nice. Yeah, they thought we were 3 gay dudes staying there but whatever. Asked if we needed tickets to a show. The trundle bed was very comfortable. We then went to the premier of Ted 2. My buddy worked on the movie. I thought it was funny, even better than the first one. I enjoy toilet humor. Not ashamed to admit it. My GPS also took me all the way up Broadway to Hastings on the Hudson. What a journey. Neighborhoods I had never seen nor hope to never see again.

On a sad note we will soon be losing one of my favorite local spots Archie's. Heard the owner is ill and needs to sell. Great spot for kids and excellent burger fare. Will soon be home to a Dunkin Donuts. I have no ill will towards Dunkies but will miss Archie's.  Also closing down is San Sai. Best sushi in Burlington by a mile. Location was tough and no one ever ventured down there. Locals are not that into foreign food here in VT. Tourists never seemed to know it was there. If the Tavern can manage to always have a crowd but San Sai is never busy you know you live in a shitty food town. We do what we do (pub fare) pretty well but a very narrow scope. Also heard Tilt may be changing hands or closing. I like that spot as a place to escape when I am out doing chores on the weekend. I hope they stay open. A new pub will be opening near the Shelburne Meat Market where the old Town Tavern floundered. I hope they do a better job w/ the space... that corridor needs a place to have a burger, beer and watch a ball game. Besides the bowling alley of course.

So there you have it... if my kids stop peeing the bed, eating possibly poisonous berries, screaming in my ear, messing up the house, eating paint chips, playing w/ knives, somehow getting poop on their face, refusing to wear pants, I may try to keep this blog a little more current.

One last review, Maurice Sendak's Chicken Soup with Rice is an excellent bedtime book. Currently is my favorite and the kids dig it too. So whoopy once, whoopy twice, whoopy chicken soup with rice!!!

Hey, it's a poop story!!!

I work in a 7 person office housed in a large multi-use building. There is a Psychoanalysis practice across the hall and a couple marketing type places down the hall. I woman came into the office the other day and announced, "Uh, I was across the hall and I came out, somebody "diaree-ered" in the hall and I wasn't sure who to tell?" Um, sure, we were probably the best option. Well, someone or something did diaree-er in the hall. It was like a crime scene all over the floor and down the stairs to the first floor. Maybe somebody had there dog in and there was an incident. Doesn't really matter, it was super f*d up. Why am I involved in so many poop events. Does anyone else seem to be at the nexus of all things poop? Damn! 

I honked at a hippie in a vanagan (that VW van right?) who was sitting and gawking at an intersection this morning. After getting stuck in the middle of the intersection and then attempting to back into a line of 6 cars behind her, said hippie decided to get out of her car and yell at me for honking at her. She said it was inappropriate. What is a horn for if not alerting other motorists to potential driving situations what is it for... telling people you are horny? I would argue the honk was VERY appropriate. Did I mention Miss Vanagan had already been passed by another motorist for going too slow on my rural road? I was actually quite dumbfounded, so much so I neglected to unleash my usual angry double bird response. I just shook my head in a disapproving manner.

I am having a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day. Apparently that happens, even in Australia.

BTW, finally had some food from Butch N Babes in the north end. It was really very good and deserves a much better post so it will get one at a date in the very near future. But go there, it is a nice space, good drinks, and good food.

Jay About Bluebird BBQ

It is funny, I love BBQ, and I tend to like the Bluebird group's offerings. So why is it I have never been to the BB BBQ joint over on Riverside? Well, it is just such an off the run location. After we had kids it became even harder to justify going to Riverside. I had also heard not great things, mostly having to do with a little much salt. So how did I finally get there after all these years? Well, my wife read that kids eat free and as my folks were in town and we needed to be out of my house for a few hours late one Sunday afternoon... well, f* it, let's check it out!  As usual, my special lady was spot on. We cruised in around 5PM and the place was lively but not packed. There was a party in the side room that looked fun and there were families everywhere. They sat us in a back room giving us plenty of space. Our waiter was friendly, knowledgeable, and patient. There were a ton of things we wanted to try so we went w/ several small plates, dinner for 2, and a couple extra sides.

The buffalo chicken on a biscuit was one of the big hits. Great flavor, well cooked chicken, delicious pickles and a sick biscuit. I liked the asian inspired pulled pork bun sandwich. We all thought the sweet potato pierogies were tasty. The pulled pork was pretty good and they have nice sauces to add flavor. The brisket was tender and delicious w/out having too much fat or gristle. The ribs W/ a maple BBQ mop sauce were great, lot's of meat, w/ a little extra vinegar sauce they really popped. The sides were good as well. The beans had nice flavor and were not mushy, the coleslaw was excellent, and the braised greens and ham almost made you think you were eating healthy. The beer list was pretty solid as well.

I thought the whole thing was pretty great as a stand alone and when you factor in the kid friendliness of the place... well sir, that is 1 3/4 thumbs up and covered in BBQ sauce!

Jay About Taverna Khione

Hey Jay... what the f*** have you been doing?!  F*** you!!! Whatever I want!! And by that I mean cleaning up after my punk kids. Well, last night they were w/ my folks so my special lady and I went for a date to the new Greek place in Shelburne. The last place that occupied the Cafe Shelburne space was a bust, a Greek joint?  Tough sell, but we had high hopes as we both like Greek food and feel like the area needs an infusion of ethnic fare. The first tentative steps were tough. I may have parked in a handicap spot... it was raining and hard to see what the sign was referring to. Also, at 7PM on a Thursday there was no one there. Uh oh. The new owners did do a nice job freshening the look up. It no longer felt like my Grandmother's favorite brunch spot but like a more updated and contemporary but very casually comfortable dining establishment. Service was new car smell as to be expected. Our guy did not tell us the specials even though we were the only people there. He also neglected to tell us they had beer. He also did not know other pretty relevant points to the menu but it is still new. How about the food? Excellent.

We started with stuffed grape leaves that were delicate and featured a tasty sausage filling that was not at all greasy. They sat on a nice fresh tasting yogurt sauce. So far so good. The Greek wines were very unfamiliar to us and our server was little help. The white my wife tried was not great but we settled on a big fruity red they considered like a house red. It was nice and approachable. Next up was the pistachio crusted feta with honey drizzle. What a treat. I would eat that shit all day long and double on Sunday! We also nibbled on grilled octopus that was solid and came on a fava bean hummus type spread that was delicious as well.

We finished up sharing a baked pasta dish w/ cinnamon tomato and ground beef and bechamel sauce. Whoa! Glad we were sharing as it was a decadent delight. Nice flavor, nice consistency, nice presentation.

Finished up with a Greek after dinner drink that was very much like Sambuca and was a nice way to finish. We took a desert home and I will not even get into it, was not the highlight of the evening.

By the time we left there were a few tables full and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. We thought it was great and with tighter service a real solid addition to the scene, 1 1/2 thumbs up with upside. I fear the unrefined palates in Shelburne who love the dumpster fire known as the Bearded Frog will not accept a small reach out of their dining comfort zone and that could be a real challenge but if you are looking for a good meal that is not the same old same old... give these guys a run, it is more than worth it!

Hey, is winter finally over?

After waking to snow last weekend it is nice to finally have sun and 60s even 70 degree temps. Of course one of my kids (or the other) has been sick for 285 straight days so it still sucks in the Bird household. We took the kiddos to La Villa early the other night for a dinner out. Yikes!!! While the people were very friendly and the place is set up to handle families they were not ready for our cranky brood. Spilling water, screaming, not sitting down, tossing food... we pretty much hit for the cycle. The other patrons were not impressed and I wished I had a hole to crawl in. Good times.

We signed up for the new HBO Now. It is not bad. Streams faster than actual Apple movies, not as fast as Netflix. It has also crashed several times on us in the first week. That said there is quite a bit of content. We watched The Way Way Back the other night and it was a nice little movie. Sam Rockwell is great. It is a little slow going but gets to a nice tempo.  I also have gotten in that show Silicon Valley. I like T.J. Miller... funny guy.

What the f*** is up w/ Gotham on Fox. It is on, then off, then on, then a long hiatus for no reason?  Hard to stay on board.

One thing I am on board with is Berkshire Mountain Distillery which we checked out while visiting the in-laws a couple weeks back. Cool building, Great tasting with a bartender who was friendly, knowledgeable, and put down a solid pour. There are plenty of things to like but the premixed gin and tonic was surprisingly delicious and refreshing. I hate most tonics so I hate mote G&Ts but this one is good, not too sickly sweet. The barrel aged bourbons are also nice. The Founder's was a little too heavy on the coffee for me but the Sam Adams Utopia was pretty solid as was the Hopzilla.  The highlight for us was the Ethereal Gin series. They make a new recipe for each bottling that is then destroyed so no too are alike. All three we tried were excellent with different herb and citrus notes. Great product. If you ever find yourself down in the Berkshires, check this place out. http://berkshiremountaindistillers.com/home/

We also went over to Big Elm Brewery around the corner. Fun place, the beer isn't great. The stouts are good and the imperial stout is actually an excellent motor oil of a beer. Again, it is a fun place to hang, taste some beer and maybe grab a bomber of six pack of cans for the beach.

Big Night Out

So my lady and I stepped out the other night for a fundraiser for CarShare VT. www.carsharevt.org I am pro my car but the fewer ya yos out there on the road the better. The organization also provides a valuable service for folks that need transportation but can't afford their own car or taxis everywhere. The event was a dinner at Pennycluse. Interesting as it is a pretty solid breakfast lunch spot not known for dinner fare. Good reason. The food was fine but not really as good as what I might make at home actually. The event was fun though and the restaurant had pretty good pacing and a nice space.

The big hit was our after party drink at the Lamp Store over by the OP. It is a speakeasy type space filled with vintage lamps for sale and a pretty awesome old school bar. It was not too busy and a very chill vibe. Plus I was able to get a nice pour of Fernet Branca neat. It was a little like getting a drink at the Lamp Shop on Pine Street... except it was open.

We have been watching the first season of Mash on Netflix lately. Great show. Very edgy even now.

I generally really hate fruit beers. Number 9 sucks, even with whisky in it. But this little gem is absolutely delicious and LB is spot on, superb summer sipper... if we actually ever see summer. It snowed up here again yesterday. http://21st-amendment.com/beers/hell-or-high-watermelon/

Time to make it weird

So we were just watching a commercial that mentioned a rusty Barbecue. That is also a weird sex move right... the rusty BBQ?

Another commercial on CNBC is for Flexshot. Yup, apparently you can fill up huge cracks and holes w/ a simple Flexshot. And I will leave it right there.

Hey, guess what?!

Why is everyone so freaked out about one of the douchebags leaving 1 Direction? The NY Daily News loosely compared it to Pete Best leaving the Beatles. I don't know one 1 Direction song, not one. You would figure I would hear at least one just by accident right? Well, f*** those guys.

How is my Final 4 bracket? Imagine a large steaming pile of poop... yeah, it is worse than that.

It is f*ing snowing today. It is March 27nd. AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

If Janet Yellen tightens interest rates too soon will we get one of these?

As we plunge into recession, Vice Chair Stanley Fischer will have a heart attack and Yellen will just stand over him... "F*** him! Turn those interest rates back to zero!!!"

This is a picture from a hearing on housing around the airport in Burlington. Can you pick out the guy who is not supposed to be within 100 feet of a school and just realized there were cameras present?


Now if you will excuse me, I need to go talk to my lady about a rusty BBQ.

It's a Bonanza!

So it was the 10th wedding anniversary for my special lady and I this weekend. We shipped the kids down to my folks and both proceeded to get ill in various ways. I have not been right since I had kids. Seriously... my body and mind are breaking down at an alarming rate. In any event... we were able to get out to 5 restaurants, 3 were new to me and all 5 to my wife. Well, it was a mixed bag.

So our first stop was dinner Friday night at the Bluestone in Waterbury. We were on our way home from down south and Waterbury was jamming so we decided to check this place out. I had heard decent things and it seemed like a nice enough place? Well, it was a pretty big miss. We started with a simple salad which had enough garlic to take down a vampire village. It was balanced w/soggy barely edible brussel sprouts. The pizza we ordered seemed straight forward enough but the pomodoro (tomato) sauce had no flavor and the thing was covered w/ 38 huge roasted garlic pieces that looked like slugs. The crust was pretty decent. Service was slow. The vibe was mellow and they poured a nice beer. 1 Thumb sideways would be pretty kind

Next stop was lunch the following day at the Parkside Kitchen, a spin off of the Kitchen Table and in the old On the Rise Bakery spot. Space is still clean and nice. We ordered a green salad and "fancy macaroni and cheese". Delicious. The salad had a restrained dressing that gave a nice pop but let the greens shine on their own. The mac an cheese was properly cooked (not soggy) and decadent. The shrooms and squash were a nice accompaniment as were the crushed bread crumbs on top. It was really a good lunch. We snuck out some donuts to go that I bet were off the chain right out of the fryer but were a little dry later in the day. Still, 1 2/3 thumbs up.

Our big dinner was at the newly opened Waterworks over in the Noosk. The town was on fire with everyplace packed. The WW is a beautiful spot, exposed steel and wood beams... it is pretty awesome. They were pumping 80s/90s pop rock like Bon Jovi... super loud. We had to wait on our table for a few minutes so we grabbed a drink. We both agreed, the drinks are a little sweet with probably too much simple syrup but they are pretty meticulously prepared and I think that is the general new wave taste. I like my drink to taste like booze, otherwise I will order a soda. The menu was a bit of a mess. They just don't seem to know what they want to be and it comes across confused. We got a squash soup (no flavor but nice heat), salad (ugh), wings (undercooked but good sauce), lamb meatballs (don't bother), and some Mahi sliders that tasted pretty fishy. It was just not very good. Love the space and I might go back to grab a drink at the bar but there are better options in Winooski. That said the place was packed and most likely appeals to a certain demographic that I am not in. Another sideways thumb unless you love Sweetwaters... then this place will appeal to you.

Finally, we had lunch at the Turkish joint in Burlington. I reviewed this last week so I won't detail it but the food was excellent again, excellent.

2 hits, 2 misses... and some pretty good chips and salsa at the Pro Pig pubhouse.

Jay About the Istanbul Kebab House

I stopped by the IKH today for a bit of lunch and to check out the scene. They moved into the old Bierehause or however it is spelled spot and I was nervous. The location for whatever reason has not been a hot spot and the layout of the space is kind of tough. I used to like the German beers but it was never in the front of my mind and anytime we stopped by it was usually pretty empty.

Anywho... The new space is nice. I did not go upstairs but they designed the downstairs area in a clean, cozy, nice spot to eat a meal. I was surprised at the crowd. It was very full and almost exclusively an older professional crowd, the type that I see congregating for Cuban flute night at the Flynn but not at any of the local watering holes downtown? I bellied up to the bar and got down to business. Service is prompt and pleasant but not real chatty. I asked the host/bartender a few questions and English was not his first (or possibly 3rd) language. He was nice enough though and maybe just didn't care to chat with a bozo like myself. I opted for the lamb kebab wrap. I am a sucker for lavash bread and prefer it to rice. The lamb was well seasoned and pretty tender with just a couple fatty bites. The pickled cabbage was a nice texture/flavor component and the yogurt sauce was very nice as well. The whole thing was delicious, came out pretty fast, and was very reasonably priced. Kebab and a beer for $16? Hard to beat that for a hot sit down meal. A large party came in as I was finishing up. Another good sign.

Hey, how about 1 2/3 thumbs up (clean up that website).

How About That Sturgill Simpson

Last night my special lady and I had date night. We grabbed a bite at the bar of The Guild and then cruised over to Higher Ground to check out a new age country singer Sturgill Simpson.  I have reviewed the Guild several times before so no need to get into the weeds but it was excellent. Very good service including the host who was hustling big time. The drinks were well made and delicious and the food was also great. It was packed on a Wednesday night. Packed. We were very pleasantly surprised by the whole experience.

On to Sturgill. Well, I think I went in with my expectations a little high. I had been watching Youtube videos and was expecting a pretty high energy situation. The guy said he was sick and maybe that was the case. The music was fine but there was no soul, no fire. It seemed like they were just cashing a check and not super happy to be there. It is amazing the voice that comes out of that little guy and the band is obviously pretty talented but Simpson mumbled the words to songs and they really only unleashed on two tunes. Overall it was fine, nothing I would recommend though the tickets were only $15 a piece so for that I guess it was worth the price of admission. The whole thing was over by 10:30PM by the way.

Fun little post game at the Upper Deck pub at the Windjammer. Pretty decent nachos and cold beer. Nice work Upper Deck Pub!

Jay Back to Puerto Rico!

My folks were down in PR for a conference and stayed for what is turning out to be an extended extended vacation down there and invited the bird family to join. Trade in bitter cold with very little snow for warm sunny days on the beach? Hell to the yeah.  The flight down was pretty easy w/ a short layover and pretty on time flights. We picked up our rental car and headed for the beach. The Mazda 6 was ok to drive I guess and was very roomy for a mid size car but the it was very difficult to get the seat in a decent position and rear visibility was terrible as the A-Bars? over both shoulders were huge. Change lanes at your own peril.

We were staying in a condo in Luquillo Beach which is an odd but pretty cool town. The beach is wide, pretty clean and beautiful. There were rougher surf spots as well as some very serene spots great for the kids. It is always fun to watch the surfers head out and never actually try to catch a wave. They just float out there. Call it the lifestyle if you want but I think you can't actually surf and are scared to death you might actually catch a wave. We saw 4 girls go for it in pretty choppy surf our last day. A for effort as they got right in the mix. F for execution which actually was an A+ for entertainment.

Right next door to our condo was the bar Boardriders. It was great. Super chill, no pretension, decent food, and cold drinks. We were among the regulars. A band played the first night who could not have sucked worse. Couldn't sing, or play instruments, or keep time. The next night a reggae band was very good though. The main drag in front of the bar was a spot where Puerto Ricans drove their pieces of shit super slow with the radios turned up to a volume no stereo should ever go. That was fun. I also enjoyed the regulars who grabbed a beer to go for the ride home. Didn't even opt for the U.S. obligatory paper bag.

The town was interesting. There were nicely kept houses up on the hill behind the grocery store but on the beach places were in varied states of disrepair. Many houses were abandoned all together. Premium beachfront just left empty and busted. It was weird. The town square was very nice though and on Friday night the town packed in with a mixture of tourists, families, and retirees all listening to live music, eating street food, and having a fun time.

If you go, check out the kiosks featured on one of those Anthony Bourdain shows. They are fun and the food ranges from yikes, to delicious. Plus it is a great place to grab a beer walk around and check out the nice beach behind.

So I had never noticed but in PR they have this shit called Gasolina. It is weird booze packaged like a Capri Sun. Seriously. Booze in a pouch and it is called Gasolina!!!

The missus and I had a night away at the San Juan Water and Beach Club. Nice beach, beautiful view from our cool but small room. The elevator is a cool glass thing where you can watch the ceiling come at you. It is fun. The rooftop bar has a great view but service is excruciating and expensive.

The restaurant in the hotel was very solid though. Very good service. People not even eating there came and gave our waitress a hug. No lie. The apps were very good, we had a nice watermelon soup with a great broth and lamb empanadas which were a nice size, not at all greasy and delicious. Our main course of fried Snapper was way too salty and the mufungo was dry. The pumpkin donuts got us back on track though!

Overall a fun trip except the 7 hour layover in Philadelphia. It really sucks to fly these days. United f*d us over and re booked us on a shitty flight that then got delayed a few hours. Try keeping 2 toddlers entertained in an airport for 7 hours.

BTW. congrats to LB squared, who are now cubed!

Boom!!!

What a game. I almost lost my shit several times last night. Should have been 34-14 Pats but the same old leaky defense had some big lapses. Still so many Brady haters... of course he is the best QB of all time now. If you are still picking Peyton than clearly your number 2 is Dan Marino. And Carmelo Anthony is your favorite basketball player. Hey Sherman, you mad bro?

Was I partying and making it rain last night?! Yup, if by party you mean sitting alone on my couch watching it on an IPad while eating Trade Joe's pot stickers while my kid hacks up a lung upstairs? Then yes. Yes I did.

Why I Hate Your Driving

1. You are driving 30 MPH in a 45 MPH zone.
2. You are doing this in the passing lane.
3. You just came to a full stop at a yield/roundabout/right hand turn.
4. You don't use your blinker... ever.
5. You are on your phone or texting while slowly drifting from lane to lane.
6. You just slowed down as the light turned yellow then gunned it through the red leaving me at the longest red light ever.
7. Even though you are the slowest driver on the road you just busted into a wide open passing lane creating all sorts of unnecessary traffic.
8. You have no idea where you are going but rather than pull over to look at a map or GPS to are creeping along at 25, randomly flipping on a turn signal but not turning, starting left then careening right, jamming your brakes, then just stopping in the middle of the road.
9. Your are driving a Prius or Volvo wagon.
10. Bumper stickers.
11. Your are turning around talking to your dog who is all over the backseat.
12. Teenager.
13. Over 60.
14. Hey, it's snowing... let's run red lights, jam our brakes for no reason, cut in front of oncoming traffic to turn into the Bagel Place!
15. Rain? I have never seen this wet stuff... better turn it down to 15 MPH just to make sure. Of course once it turns to snow it is time to launch at 80 through parking lots!
16. The light just turned green, um still green, yup still green and you are;looking at your phone/talking to your passengers/reading a book/brushing your teeth/I don't know... jerking off, but you certainly are not moving your f*ing car!!!

There are probably other ones. In fact it is probably safer for you to just stay home or at the very least pull over when you see the ill tempered (and quite handsome) guy in the silver car w/ VT plates right behind you (just to be on the safe side).

Let's get back on the horse, shall we?

Not sure if any non spammers will see this after the long hiatus but f*** it, I do what I want here. So last Friday I had a biz thing down in Stowe and we stopped for a quick bite at the Prohibition Pig. Before heading upstairs we stopped in at the newly oped brew room down back. Very cool space.  Pretty much just a large L-shaped bar with some smaller tables behind. It is totally separate from the main Pig but they offer 8 beers or so including a few of their new in house brews and a small menu of chow. Of the few options they offered they were not serving 2 which was weird. We grabbed chips and guac. The chips were good but the guacamole was pretty flavorless and actually seemed like they used old avocados. It was made to order so maybe just a bad fruit. Needed more salt and lime. The beer was good. The barley and oats IPA was really pretty good, nice hops and an earthy base. We then cruised up to the main space for lunch. My pulled pork sandwich was gray and pretty bland. Too bad the food was so blah because the spaces are both great and the beer/booze selection is quite good.I'll give the brew house another try and maybe grab a taco or something to see what's up.

Just started Homeland season 2 after a long wait. Really enjoy it though Carrie is pretty whiny.

We had a kid inclusive brunch at Kismet in Montpelier the other day. That was very good. The hipster staff was not really impressed with our animals but they were nice enough. The bloody mary was great with a nice heat and great hint of pickle juice. Very fresh. I had basically an eggs benny on polenta. The polenta was nicely cooked, as were the eggs. Great light dressing on my greens. Very fresh, nice flavor, decent price. The french toast we got for kids that I ate were also really good if a touch sweet for my taste. Overall I really liked it and would give 1 3/4 thumbs up.

I had high hopes for that movie Frank. Very ehhh. 1 thumb kind of disappointed.

Do I care that Patriots maybe deflated footballs? Only a little. Kind of embarrassing but did not decide the game. Just seemed unnecessary which is why it is sad. If even true. Probably is. Good for Ravens joining the fray. They whine every time they lose to Pats. Kicking balls are held with the refs the whole time you dumb shits.

The NY Daily News is of course all over the story because their football teams stink. How into sports is the Daily News? They currently have a reader pole for top all time 2 guard in the NBA. Top on their list? Allen Iverson followed by George Gervin. Jordan is tied for 7th behind such luminaries as Reggie Miller and Clyde Drexler. That is ok, Magic Johnson was like #4 for point guards behind Jason Kidd.

Uhh... better save some bullets for my next post in March.