Why I Hate Your Driving

1. You are driving 30 MPH in a 45 MPH zone.
2. You are doing this in the passing lane.
3. You just came to a full stop at a yield/roundabout/right hand turn.
4. You don't use your blinker... ever.
5. You are on your phone or texting while slowly drifting from lane to lane.
6. You just slowed down as the light turned yellow then gunned it through the red leaving me at the longest red light ever.
7. Even though you are the slowest driver on the road you just busted into a wide open passing lane creating all sorts of unnecessary traffic.
8. You have no idea where you are going but rather than pull over to look at a map or GPS to are creeping along at 25, randomly flipping on a turn signal but not turning, starting left then careening right, jamming your brakes, then just stopping in the middle of the road.
9. Your are driving a Prius or Volvo wagon.
10. Bumper stickers.
11. Your are turning around talking to your dog who is all over the backseat.
12. Teenager.
13. Over 60.
14. Hey, it's snowing... let's run red lights, jam our brakes for no reason, cut in front of oncoming traffic to turn into the Bagel Place!
15. Rain? I have never seen this wet stuff... better turn it down to 15 MPH just to make sure. Of course once it turns to snow it is time to launch at 80 through parking lots!
16. The light just turned green, um still green, yup still green and you are;looking at your phone/talking to your passengers/reading a book/brushing your teeth/I don't know... jerking off, but you certainly are not moving your f*ing car!!!

There are probably other ones. In fact it is probably safer for you to just stay home or at the very least pull over when you see the ill tempered (and quite handsome) guy in the silver car w/ VT plates right behind you (just to be on the safe side).