Happy Holidays... Want to See My Nuts?!?!?!

How about my balls then?

Too soon for a cock joke?

Jay About to Explode!

I ate several ribs, a pulled pork sandwich, a couple fried pickles, french fries, sweet potato fries, some brisket... I think that is it... at Big Fatty's last night.  It was delicious but I thought I was going to barf.  I love beer, seriously, no a forbidden love but like if my wife ever leaves me I might re-marry and the lucky lady will be St. Pauly Girl in a 16oz can!!!  Well, last night i was si full I had to leave a 3/4 full brew dog to avoid a messy explosion.  I was embarrassed, I hid the beer behind a ketchup bottle.  Frikcin' holidays.

So as it is the end of the year do I need to have a top ten list or something?  Nah... I'm not doing that this time.  Let's relfect on the season for a moment.  How many cookies have you eaten in the past 4 weeks?  Me?  1325846887.  Not counting brownies, cake, pie, and other treats.  What are going to be the best holiday gifts you get that you f*ing do not need because it is a device you only need once in a great while but you get a new one every year?  Wine stopper?  How many people keep 17 open bottles of wine in the house?  Well, we could... we have the stoppers to make it happen!  Who needs coasters?  Not this guy!   And who could survive w/out a flashlight of some sort?  Well, if you find yourself running low we have them strewn throughout the house!!!  So anyway, here is a gift from me to you.

Friday!!!

I forgot

About one of the real gems in Philly... so we cruise down into the lobby of the hotel on Saturday and there were a shit ton of foo foo dipshits w/ their dogs in the lobby.  Ok, it seemed weird but there was a pamphlet in our room about how the hotel was pet friendly and everything so I didn't really think about it.  Well, later when we came back the lobby was still full of dogs.  And there was Santa.  Now it is getting really weird.  So yup, all these ya-yos are there to have a picture taken w/ Santa and their dog.  Well, it makes sense... you want to create memories Bowser will remember when he is all grown up!  They do grow up so fast, just last year Spike was 14 and this year he is 21!!!

BTW, I made the mistake of perusing the Rolling Stone top 100 guitarist list.  These things are always so dumb, but so am I so I read lists because they are easy to digest... like soup.  Anyway, somehow James Hetfield is on the list but Kirk Hammett who is obviously the better guitar player is not.  Meanwhile Robert Johnson who is a legendary influence is only at # 71 behind the likes of John Lennon who may be many amazing things but he is an only ok to good guitar player?  Tom Morello is fine but ahead of Mark Knopfler or Muddy Waters?  Nope. Johnny Ramone at 28?  If you can only play 2 chords can you really be at #28? F*ck that. 

Well, anyway... I need to go doll up Boomer my cat... we are heading over to Sears for our family photo!!!

Jay About Philadelphia

We had a wedding down in Philly this weekend and it was not too bad.  It is always fun to visit a new city as an adult and see the sights.  We flew in direct Friday mid day and it was an easy trip.  I noticed that there is very little traffic for a major city.  Especially to and from the airport which is a very quick jaunt.  I also noticed that while the streets feel very tight and right on top of you the buildings are not very tall.  It is just a tight well laid out grid of brick town houses w/ an occasional taller office building or hotel.  The city was relatively clean and seemed safe.  It was not a particularly good looking city like New York.  It seemed more blue collar/ Midwestern?  The airport is a real piece of shit and they have some real assholes working there.  It is dirty and gross but the planes we were on were on time so that is something.

While there we wandered around and ate some pretty good food.  My special lady and I stayed at the Palomar which is a Kimpton hotel very much in their corporate image.  It was clean, modern, kind of hip.  The bed was very comfortable and they had nice bath products.  Oh yeah, and zebra and leopard print bathrobes.

We wandered out the first day and ate at some random tapas place that I cannot remember the name of.  What I do remember is that lunch really stayed w/ me. That and we tried a bottle of "authentic Basque apple cider" called Stasteg.  It was described as funky and it sure as shit was.  The first sip tasted vaguely of urine.  It got better and more interesting but I will never order it again.  It was an adventure in a bottle, that I will say.

We had a drink at Alam de Cuba a very cool Cuban restaurant.  It was garnished w/ sugar cane and was a real treat.  We then moved onto dinner at Amada a sick tapas joint near the old part of the city.  It was delicious.  The Wagyu was great, the octopus was amazing, the scallops were divine as was the spinach and chickpea dish.  It was all very excellent and the setting was cool as well.  Bring your checkbook though, it is expensive.  1 3/4 thumbs up.  After that we met some friends and that is were it all went awry... let's just say we had a fun time... too fun and spots like Grace's and the Good Dog Bar.  It was a long and painful evening.

Next morning we got up late and wandered to Pietro's coal fired pizza place.  It was good not great and the servings were huge.  The crust was good and it was a relaxed scene which was nice.  After that we wandered around taking in the sights and checking out the neighborhoods.  Then on to the wedding at the Philadelphia Raquet Club.  It was an  old school raquet club and pool w/ several very good size and reasonably priced rooms.  The ceremony was in the grand entrance and was quite nice.  We had a casual buffet dinner and drinks were in a couple lounges complete w/ crazy old school art and pimp red leather club chairs.  It was a cool scene and a very nice wedding.  We managed to pull the ripcord before the after after party and that was huge.

Our last bite was at the Parc Diner which is a very large and bustling french bistro style place on the park (as you might imagine).  It was quite professional.  The food was good, not outstanding.  I had poached eggs and asparagus, my wife had an omelet.  The coffee was good, and the service was pretty much on top of things.  I would like to try it again for a casual late lunch as opposed to hung over breakfast.

And then it was back to the dirty airport for our flight out.  All I will say about that is that it all ended ok but US Air, you are not ok.  Train your people not to be assholes.  And stop ripping people's faces off.  Jerks.

Good trip, I am a Phan of the City of Brotherly Love...

Jay About... the U-Mall?!

So this past weekend we were looking to upgrade my special lady's phone and a logical place to start was the Verizon spot in the mall on Church Street.  Except for the small detail that they had just moved to the University Mall in SoBu.  Shit.  Ok, whatever, we can cruise over there.  When we moved back to Burlington some years ago the U-Mall looked like it was straight out of a zombie movie... or Iran.  It was about 70% dark w/ bad lighting, yards between open stores and construction for construction's sake everywhere.  It was a huge space that had a Sears, and Country Buffet, and maybe a seasonal calendar shop open.  It was depressing.  The mall came up as a selling point for a commercial real estate deal proposed to my company from a guy down in NYC.  I asked him if he had ever been to the mall and laughed at him.  Fast forward to a couple years ago and I needed a pair of sneakers.  The nearest place I could find an Olympia Sports or similar spot was the good old U-Mall.  It was now probably 88% occupied and a few large stores had moved into the empty spaces including a Kohls.  The lighting was still bad, the stores were still mostly transitional, the place was pretty sparse with shoppers and it was still a little depressing as malls go but it was somewhat useful and I was able to buy sneakers.  Well, when we went in the other day it was a revelation.  The place was totally different.  Granted it is the holidays but it was packed w/ people.  The place was bight and well lit and probably close to 95% occupied w/ the only dead spaces out in random corridors to the parking lot.  There were big well know stores as well as kiosks of every type.  You need a cell phone?  No problem.  A red sox hat, t-shirt, mug, bumper sticker, floor mat, full body suit?  No problem.  Some random piece of goofy clothing?  They have got you covered!  My favorite stores were the hippy clothing stores w/ 240 wool hats and a shit ton of those weirdly cut sweat shirt type things made out of rope... and the dollar+ store which featured calendars, old people collectibles, and bongs.  Sure, why not?  Who doesn't want a miniature porcelain schnauzer and a bong for $2?  We did not get the phone but you have come a long way U-Mall!!! 

In an aside note... I was recently looking at my stats for this blog and I am pretty disturbed at what searches have brought people to my little stitch and bitch.  I am not sure how "young Japan boy" is possibly incorporated in any one post in this blog but it is apparently a pretty popular search topic and will probably create a spike in views on this post as well. Of course the second highest hit rate is for a post entitled "Here them ring, ding a ling". I am pretty sure you can figure out what search term is bringing folks to that post.  Does this make me feel a little not awesome?  Yup it sure does.  I would think more people would find me looking for "U-Mall", "F*** you", "shitty teenage girls driving while texting", maybe even "supper club".  Are people not searching for supper clubs on the internet?!?!?!  Well then I am not sure what to think.

So

Let's just say I might have spoken too soon when it comes to Ri Ra's as a food option.  My stomach lost control like a fat kid w/ cake!  Seriously, I had to pull into a Dunkin Donuts to f*ck the place up not 15 minutes from my house and that was not the worst of it (which I will not describe).  So I am downgrading to a 1 thumb used to plug the dyke.

Ok, on to more pleasant news.  We got our Christmas tree today... yeah, I know it is early but we are travelling later this month so we had to pull the trigger early to actually enjoy it.  It was kind of funny negotiating w/ 13 year olds, we bought our tree from the Boy Scouts.  Should I have fake punched them to get the price down?  Probably not, I would have found myself hod tied in a 4 square knot being handled by the Lord of the Flies!  Anyway, we got the tree home and realized we had a slightly fuller Charlie Brown tree.  Well, f*ck you!  It is our Charlie Brown tree and I love it!!!!!

I saw a "Free Palestine" bumper sticker the other day and I wanted to ram the dipshit off the road.  For one, the Palestinian territory is free no?  They vote for their own terrorist leaders and everything?  Should they get their own "state"? Sure, why not?  Why not beg Jordan or Lebanon?  Look, I am not Jewish or a Republican so I don't give a shit about Israel.  Have they been there forever?  Sure... so have Christians, Muslims, and whoever was there before all of them.  What I do know is that every time the Israelis try to give a little ground to appease the feel good crowd some Hamas asshole launches a shit ton of rockets into some innocent families backyard.  The moment Israel gives ground and the Palestinians actually respond w/ peace not savagery I will think about not punching the hippy w/ the "Free Palestine" bumper sticker in the face!  So go and eat more kale asshole.

Hey, how about Tim Tebow winning again.  Has a shittier QB ever won more games?  Flutie?  Grossman?  That guy who played for the Ravens and now says dumb stuff on TV?  Amazing!  Good for you Tim.  Now way you can beat the Patriots...

Hey How About Ri-Ra's?!

Had lunch there and it was not too bad... We started off w/ some hot wings which had pretty ok flavor. What was nice was that we asked for them to be crispy and they sure as shit were crispy.  We also had sweet potato tater tots which were excellent!  For my entree I had a Rueben.  It was not great but not terrible.  The fries were sucky.  Service was good but it was way overpriced.  All in all an interesting off the run lunch spot that I never think of.  I needed the greese and cheese.  My body is way to lean right now!

http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6661087/party-frog

Holiday Season

We are in it.  I am getting pretty not slim w/ the excess of food and drink.  I needed my winter weight anyway.  Gets pretty cold up here.  So a couple funny things to start the week.  Went to dinner last night and the conversation ended w/ talk of prostate exams and little weiners (not mine of course... it is average, AVERAGE DAMMIT!!!).  I enjoyed it immensly.  We were walking to grab a coffee Monday and a woman coming out of the record store missed a step and took a fantastic spill.  She got up and was fine.  I could not stop giggling.  Kharma enacted its vengance in the form of a faulty coffee lid that spilled coffee all over my pant leg and shoe.  It was worth it.  Somebody is somking either in the stairwell or up by the airconditioning vent in our building.  Thanks A-holes.  I am trying to kill myself w/ booze and high colesterol not smoke inhalation!!!  Occupy Burlington now occupying warm apartments.  Quitters.  Hey everybody, how about that Euro!  Let's give them a hand... and 1.5 Trillion dollars.  Maybe John Corzine should get in the mix.  Awwww, too soon?!  Here is a good away to look at some of our current financial issues being f*d up by the super shitty committee


Um, I guess that is about it.  I have basketball tonight so I will have to interupt my girth aquisition for at least a day.  Back on the horse tomorrow!

It is Montreal Time!!!

Special lady and I needed a little urban renewal time this weekend so we headed up to Montreal for the weekend.  It was a pretty ok trip.  I can start off by saying it will most likely be a long time before my wife allows me to pick a hotel for a trip again.  I admit she puts more time and thought into decisions than I do.  I had the mission this time and did some work but not enough.  My choice?  Le Hotel St. Marc... not surprisingly on St. Marc street over by St. Catherine.  It looked like a funky boutique and had positive reviews on Trip Advisor.  Well, it sure as shit was funky.  We were welcomed by a girl that barely spoke english or french.  To get to our room we went up a staircase and into a kitchen/ dining room that was overly full of junk and looked like my house when we have guests we only kind of like.  Sort of clean but not really.  We then descended a super tight spiral staircase to our room.  The room was very large.  It had a 60" TV.  And several chandeliers, and multiple surround speakers in the ceiling, and fake stained glass stickers on the sliding glass doors.  To top it off?  The largest Murphy bed you have ever seen.  Oh yeah, they also gave us a key that did not work and when we were out to dinner taped a key that did work to the outside of our door.  Glad I left our passports in the room.  1 thumb down.  Just pick a different place, you will thank me.

We made up for it w/ a few pretty good meals.  We rocked a local hotspot Au Pied de Cochon on Friday night.  If you like meat, particularly the weird bits like cheek, hoof and snout this is your place.  We had delicious cod fritters, an ok endive salad, a tasty but enormous pork chop, and very solid but cut too small fires (in duck fat).  It was a solid thumb and a 1/4 up until unsolicited our server gave us couple large glasses of Calvados.  2 thumbs up for the service my man!!!

Saturday we went to LBsquared spot Sho-Dan  for sushi.  While not as amazing as our first trip it was still very good fresh tasting sushi and I would recommend it unfailingly.  The explosion roll was a little disappointing but still good and the Kiss was very good.  Good service, good fish, and apparently THE spot if you are either out on a girls only evening or you are a skeevy single guy looking to pick up said women!

One last thing to mention was the Atwater Marche.  This was a huge indoor/outdoor market that had a bit of everything.  It is broken into stations and you can do a bite to eat at the pastry and coffee area and then hit up the butcher, the fish guy, the awesome fromagiers, the beer cellar, maybe grab some flowers and finish w/ amazing fruits and vegetables.  Everything looked fantastic and I would shop there every weekend if I lived in that city.  Even the bakery fare to go was delicious, particularly the still warm almond croissant.  Off the hook.  If you find yourself in the area, definitely check it out.

One thing not to check out?  The Dilemma.  It was on HBO last night and sucked balls but not in a good way.  Vince Vaughn is really pissing me off right now.  Stop making shitty movies, just stop it!!!

H&K

Went to see Harlod and Kumar Save Christmas last night.  It was pretty funny.  I thought the first one was great, the second one was very funny, and this one was pretty funny.  It was in 3-D and they played up the angle very well.  Would I prefer less dongs and more boobs?  Sure.  But the whole thing was filled w/ crude jokes I generally enjoy and shit flying at you from nowhere.  One funny thing is that we got there 5-10 minutes early and there was nobody there.  I suppose it makes sense when the stoners showed up to the stoner movie 5 minutes late.  Most of the crowd was probably picketing Merchant's Bank.  Also there was a line at 7:30 for the midnight showing of the new Twilight movie.  A line that apparently started at 1pm!  What the f***?!?!  First off it was a Thursday.  Don't you have school at 1pm?  Secondly, who lets their kid stay out until 2am on a school night to watch some stupid movie that will be in the theater at regular hours for weeks?  Fat dorky kids parents apparently...

I have other things related to my day to day situation that I would also like to say but probably shouldn't.  One interesting note is that much like the 99% protesters, there is a growing legion of folks who seem hell bent on f*cking themselves in the ear.  They don't know how to do it or even why they want to do it but they are DETERMINED to get it done!!! Unfortunately I am the ear.

OK, I have a couple things to talk about

First off, I met up w/ my special lady for date night a couple days ago at The Antidote in Vergennes.  Vergennes is a funny town that is in perpetual gentrification mode but never quite gets there.  It does have some very pleasant and unpretentious chow spots and this is one of them.  We rolled in and sat at the counter behind the bar (actually I was a couple minutes late and my lady already had a drink).  I ordered one up as well, a Manhattan.  It was well executed and well presented w/ a very solid sidecar in ice.  Nice start.  We started our dinner off w/ poutine.  I wish they used better cheese curds but ther gravy was a delicious sort of sweet Guinness gravy that was not bad at all.  My lady went w/ a ceasar salad w/ chicken which was pretty good but had a little too much chicken.  I had a modified Cuban sandwich that was porkilichious.   It featured habenero pickled onions and pickles, and it was good.  The side salad was also quite good.  The service was pleasant and attentive and the price was very reasonable.  I would go back no doubt... let's call it 1 2/3rds thumbs up.

Sunday I was down in NYC and took in the Foo Fighters at MSG.  They were really good.  I had been a luke warm fan for awhile.  I mean they are what they are, a power pop band that rocks out and creates anthems not unlike Bon Jovi.  Seriously, Bon Jovi could have done that Hero song right?  Which is fine, I like those guys too.  Well, I think frontman Dave Grohl really gets the joke.  He played to the crowd, he pumped his fist, he banged his head and ran all over the stage.  Most importantly they absolutely rocked out.  It was loud and it was tight.  They played for 3 straight hours w/ no breaks and had a sick encore that featured Joan Jett who looked and sounded great for an 82 year old woman.  It was a really fun time and if you like a rock concert not a goof fest in a coffee house... get your ass out to see the Foo!!




Overall it was a great weekend that I am still hurting from.  I could not hear properly for 18 hours.  That is good right?

Well, that did not go well!

We here in Burlington, VT have our own "Occupy" movement.  I am not sure which of the mostly local banks they are picketing, I am sure they are quite upset with that behemoth known as Key Bank!  Or even TD which is not a U.S. controlled bank at all... uh, Toronto Dominion you dumb f***s!  In any event there are a group of asswipes camped out in the City Hall Park and chanting bullshit from time to time.  Well one of them decided to shoot someone, possibly himself and now there is a dead body.  I drove by this morning and the cops are everywhere w/ police tape all over the park.  It is a mess.  In fact, it appears that most of these campsites are a mess, filled w/ robberies, assaults, and worse.  That is not a surprise given the mix of vagrants, and fools who have no organization and an unclear cost.  Well, congrats VT... you may have just jump started the end of the Occupy movement.  And for that I salute you!

http://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/article/20111110/NEWS02/111110019/occupy-burlington-shooting?odyssey=tab|topnews|text|FRONTPAGE

Let's Go Out of Bounds!

First thing is first, there is a Citgo station in Shelburne Village that recently was renovated w/ new gas pumps and all of that.  It has always been overpriced and guilty of employing ass clown high school punks.  Whatever.  I needed gas this morning and the price was reasonable so I decided to give the new digs a spin.  I swiped my card took out the nozzle and selected my grade.  I started to pump the gas except... no gas.  Ok, sometimes you have to wait for the attendent to fire the pump up.  I waited, and waited, and waited.  Finally I waled in and asked the dipshit why the pump was not working.  He said the machine read my card, did I select a grade?  I am 35 years old.  I have been a licensed driver in the U.S. for 19 years, over half of my entire life.  I am pretty sure I know how to use a f*ing gas pump!  So I walk back out, re-swipe, push the desired grade of gasoline and squeeze the pump.  Nothing.  What the F*CK?!?!  So the attendent comes out and examines my work, seems I am not a moron and actually can figure out how to use a gas pump? Weird!  He goes back in and figures out they had not turned on the breaker for the pump.  So you are a gas station who did not turn on the gas pumps?  Business for Playboy air fresheners must be good!  Anyway, I get the pump going and set the auto hitch, then go into the store for a coffee.  I wait for the guy in front of me to fix his coffee, and then fix mine, checking the types of blend, then adding cream and a top.  I then wait in line for another coffee buyer and a woman buying a pack of gum.  Was I offered a complimentary coffee for my troubles?  I forgot I was in Shelburne.  I was lucky I did not have to pay double for bothering a Shelburne worker with something as pithy as turning on the gas pumps!!!  After that nonsense I roll out to the car expecting the car to be filled. Nope... $9.22 and filling so slowly you would think it was pumping the gas from the very center of the earth!!  I wait for another 5 minutes and I am only at $11.  Time to cut this failed experiment off.  Thanks for the kick in the testicles Shelburne Citgo, I needed that to start my day! 

OK, on more fun news.  I have to say I am enjoying the Beiber and Herman Cain sex scandals (Penn State not so much... that is tragic).  I like to believe the Beiber story is true and that he is an aggressive a-hole behind the scenes.  It is just funny.  A 3'2" big headed bully!  It is even more funny to think about Cain and Beiber cruising together for chicks, w/ Beiber being the bigger degenerate at the bar.   "Hey Herman, look at those dirty birds over there... let's go get some tail!!!"  "Yeah, Beibs, I like your style!".  Haha.

In no way do I condone what these guys are accused of doing and if the stories are true they deserve to be fully prosecuted and that is serious especially in the case of any harrassment... that is not cool.

Maybe it would be better to imagine Beiber w/ a harmless degenerate, like Wooderson form Dazed and Confused.  "Hey Beibs, you know what I like anout these high school girls?  I get older and they stay the same age... yes they do..."  "That is funny Woooderson... I like their boobs!  Now pass that joint!!!"

I am in the wrong business

I can't figure the f*ing stock market out.  We get a shitty job number and unemployment is sticky at 9%.  The G-20 can't figure out how to use the IMF or fund their bailout plans.  MF Global lost clients' money, may have committed a crime, and will be a top 10 all time bankruptcy.  Greece and Italy may dissolve their governments in days.  And yet because Ireland may have a plan to save money and commodity prices are possibly up (which is not really a good thing for the consumer)... stocks are coming back and will most likely end the day up?  Seriously?!  Then there is Groupon whose IPO jumped 50% and is still up over 30% on the first day of trading.  Groupon is a company that does not make money, in a space already being overrun by competitors, and supported by fickle consumers.  And the stock is going up?!?!  Are stock traders morons?  I mean they have never been considered "smart money" but the moves over the last couple weeks is dumb. 

Of course I am currently shaking my head over some folks who seem to have forgotten what their product is altogether.  They make bacon.  It is farm style and nothing fancy but it is pretty good.  Instead of marketing the bacon, the powers that be are trotting out a whole pig complete w/ lipstick and a bow.  Sure, the bacon is included but it gets lost in the pig's beautiful eyes...

Whatever, I guess I just don't get it.

Jay About Don Pedro

So it was a pretty shitty start to the day today (though not as bad as some w/out power due to the snow).  Yesterday the Patriots sucked some serious taint.  I mean, I have not seen defense that bad since the karate kid slipped that crane kick in to knock Johnny on his ass.  Towards the end of the game I started fighting w/ the wife, then I f*d up the spigot while bottling beer and poured sticky stout all over the floor.  Meanwhile the cat was going f*ing crazy howling and scratching, and making a scene.  Fast forward to this morning... our shower has this old fixture where you adjust a pin in or out to divert water to the tub or the shower.  It is a stupid thing and had already broken once.  Well, it got some use this weekend and this morning was busted, so we both took showers w/ very little water pressure while water poured out of the tub faucet.  F*ck.  Next, I am doing some business and when I go to grab some toilet paper the roller which was installed by a crooked contractor detaches from the wall and the TP rolls away.  I hate my house.  Traffic coming in sucked.  When I got to the office the boiler was busted so the building had no heat.  I went for a coffee but Starbucks is closed for renovations so I had to f*ing walk in the cold and wind to get my caffeine.  What a pain in the ass.

Anywho, I had to run an errand in Winooski yesterday so my special lady and I took the opportunity to try out the new taqueira, Don Pedro's.  We went in w/ low expectations as should be afforded to a cheap taco joint.  It was not very full and a little busy in terms of menu and order space.  We got a couple combo plates and a couple margs and settled in.  They have decent tequila and the margarita's were actually quite good.  The regular was a tad sweet but the blood orange was very good and tasted live juice as opposed to mix.  We then got our food on a red tray and dug in.  It was pretty simple but good.  I had a rotisserie roasted chicken taco which was pretty solid and a very good Cabot cheese enchilada w/ red sauce.  My lady had a chicken and braised beef taco.  The beef was a little dry but the flavor was good.  We also got chips which were crispy and not too greasy.  The salsa were all pretty good w/ the avocado one a real winner, very limey.  The owner stopped by to chat for a minute which was a nice touch... good to show pride in your business.  Overall it was very enjoyable for what it was.  I thought it was the best Mexican I have had locally, which is not a ringing endorsement but still, I liked it very much and would certainly be a repeat offender there.  1 1/2 thumbs up and could go higher w/ repeat success.

Rollin' Deep

I had the distinct privilege of playing as a sub on my special lady's bowling team Wednesday night.  Of course I was one of 3 subs on a four person team... disappointing head shake Rollin' Deep!!!  Anywho, it was a pretty ok time.  We had a jello shot, a couple ice cold light beers and by the last frame my lady and I were lighting it up!  No turkeys but lots of strikes and spares.  This funny guy playing next to us would hold his ball for awhile, take a couple deep breaths, then take 3 very light chicken like steps before rolling (a beautiful ball).  There is no way to properly describe how weird the whole process was.  I was in awe... and in an awesome camo Miller Light hat (thanks KC and the Sunshine Band!).

Was that the oddest thing I have experienced this week?  Nope!  For charity my boss was dressed up as a very not attractive woman in a red dress for Halloween.  I was going to include a picture but I kind of like the guy (not that way!!!!) and frankly, you have probably seen that kind of action before.  You know, a 6 foot, 200 pound, CEO in lip stick!  Sorry, D, you are a good sport.  It takes a big man to fit into a small dress.  I was asked to also dress up as a woman but my legs are too hairy and having not stayed in good enough shape I am probably a little too busty for the dresses I was offered.  Comfort was not an issue!!!!

BTW, I am watching my wife stir meat in cast iron right now.  I have to go!!!!

Tiny Dancer

My special lady and I ventured into Burlington Saturday night for dinner w/ friends.  After a couple glasses of wine we decided to get a cab home.  It is always sketchy trying to cab it to Charlotte but we found a guy in a pretty clean cab who actually had a meter!  He estimated $35 for the ride which was about right.  He was a big dude w/ a accent and huge hands.  Like a Russian mobster or something.  He actually looked like Buddy from Friday Night Lights.  Whatever he was pleasant enough.  Well, we start driving and he turns on the cd player.  Peter Cetera.  Not just Cetera like whatever I don't want to offend senior citizens... he is blaring it!  And rocking out to it!!!  For the next 20 minutes we rocked out to an all time easy listening mix turned up to 11.  It was pretty amazing. 


Probably never thought you would be watching a Peter Cetera video on this blog didn't you.  Well, I guess you

Depressing

I was waiting to grab a coffee at a local coffee shop this morning and I started to feel depressed.  It wasn't anything to do w/ me though.  It was being in that place.  Can you imagine being in a place all day drinking coffee getting your heart and mind racing, meanwhile everyone is dressed like a hobo, speaking in hushed tones, and always... ALWAYS listening to the most depressing music available.  I am not sure why these local spots have the XM radio set to the kill me please channel but shit!  Not exactly like Friends, and not just because you never see Jennifer Aniston there either.

Stupid F*ing Math!!!!

When is 1+1+1+1 not equal to 4?  When that four is four Hill Farmstead Ephraim beers... at 10% alcohol!  Had 4 beers last night which in Bud Light terms is like a Pepsi Cola.  But dang, those Emphraims f*d me up!!! The small group of us were loud, obnoxious, and this morning telling war stories.  Oh Hill Farmstead, you are sneaky, very sneaky!!!  Well, I owe my wife something special for her understanding.  Here it is...

Well, what do you know?!

My special lady had a girls trip w/ friends this past weekend so old Jaybird was prepared for a nice weekend of football, crappy movies, and possibly a beer or 2.  The weekend started off right w/ a team building hike up Stowe Pinnacle and then a goodbye to longtime Stowe staple The Shed which closes its doors after 50+ yrs in its current incarnation.  That place was one of the first I ever went to in Stowe and has been a steady go to after a day on the mountain ever since.  The food is decent pub fare and the beers for brewed in house are not too bad.  Anyway, after some wings and such I found myself asleep on the couch at midnight w/ mac and cheese on the coffee table, an opened but un-drunk beer, the TV blaring on some random channel like the Cartoon Network, and the cat out in the mudroom losing his shit.  Time for bed!  The next morning I awoke at a reasonable hour but w/ a bit of a hangover.  The home phone rang.  WTF?  The only people that call on the home phone are my wife and parents and both know not to call me before 10am.  An emergency?  Nope.  It was friends calling to see if I wanted to go to the Shelburne Museum.  I have lived in northern Vermont for about 10 years and in Charlotte for 6+ and even though it is less than 5 miles from my house and has an amazing collection of Americana... I had never been to the museum.  Why would I want to go w/ my friends and their small children while hungover you may ask?  A good question I asked myself.  But what the f***, I wasn't doing anything else.  It was a little rainy and cold which sucked but otherwise it was actually a quite pleasant experience.  They have a ton of cool shit there and we didn't even see everything.  I liked the circus room which had some cool old circus posters, the train was pretty cool, the old Dr office and the straight razor collection was intense.  Even the old toy shop was very neat.  Not sure it is politically correct to have a "darky" penny tossing bank anymore though?  The old toy train was cool.  We even went on the carousel which was really something.  Mid day we hit up the food service joint which was for mass catered food pretty solid.  I had a pulled pork sandwich and root beer.  It was pretty good, could have used a little more BBQ but was cooked well and the pork had decent flavor.  The funny thing about the whole museum was that it seemed like an excellent setting for a horror movie.  I mean, old scary dentist and doctor tools?  Straight razors?  A gun exhibit? Scary clowns?  The sketchy blacksmith?  Don't go alone!  Or w/ multiple teenage hot couples who just want to drink beer and have sex. 

One last thing... it was funny to watch the guy running the old printing press screw up and then explain why he screwed up and then watch all the knuckleheads nod and chirp as if they too knew why he had f*d up the red coloring on the apple tree.  That and the folks who cruised around the 1 acre property on the shuttle looking at stuff and never actually got off the shuttle... you know to see the shit in all of the buildings they paid to see!  "And here you have a building w/ cool stuff in it... and here is another one, and over there is the train but the shuttle does not drive that way...".   Pretty ok day, and thanks to the KB/DG faction for getting me out to check it out. 

After that I drank a Manhattan and watched Horrible Bosses which was only ok and a bit of a let down.  Indecent Proposal  on HBO 8 was much better.

How about a new game where you "Occupy" a J-O-B!!!! And 1 review

I really hate those dooshes and their Occupy Wall Street bullshit.  Do you even know what you are protesting?  Now we have Kanye West in the mix.  You charge $100 for a crappy 1 hour concert, that is less of a rip off than $7 per E-Trade!?!?!  Politicians want to get involved?  F*** you!  You spend $500 on a f*ing toilet seat!!  Most of these choads just don't want to pay off their loans and that sucks.  Hey, if you are a struggling family I get it... it is no picnic out there and lots of people are not getting a break.  But if you are in your 19th year of school getting your 4th PHD w/ no intention of ever paying those student loans off?  Or the couple trying to unload their $800K vacation home, or just some punk stoner who doesn't ever want to work hard?  F*** YOU!!!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VL-0F3IAVfo

OK, so we went out w/ some friends Saturday night.  First attempt was Flatbread.  2 hour wait.  2 hours?  For pizza?  I must have not noticed that they make the pizza out of unicorn breath?  Oh, did they start offering free massage w/ every salad?  Right... I forgot that you get a free trip to space when you eat there.  We ran into the issue Sunday when we stopped in early afternoon for possible lunch.  There were several empty tables and no discernible line but the wait was 40 minutes?  That is a long time to clean off a table.  But not when it is done by hostage Smurfs!!!

Anywho, we did get a reservation w/ LB squared at San Sai.  I like the space down there a lot.  We rolled in and it was pretty empty.  Ok, no problem. There were a few tables around us still covered in dirty dishes and checks that had not been picked up.  Uh, oh... better strap in for a long one!  And a long one it was.  There were 2 servers for maybe 6 tables and it was no where near enough.  We had like a 3 hour ordeal (possibly exaggerated)!  The company was pleasant and we knocked down a few saki's so it was not a problem but still.  They were out of several items as usual even though they were not that busy.  That place does a terrible job of stocking the proper amount of fish.  We also had to wait a ridiculously long time to get water filled and saki reloaded.  The food was not bad.  I enjoyed the sushi pizza quite a bit.  We got short shifted on the lobster which they ran out of after one app.  It was very good though I am not sure cooked lobster in butter and garlic is Japanese?  I am not very cultured though so what do I know?  The fluke w/ ponzu sauce was pretty good.  The spicy scallop was nice. The smoked eel was very good as was the shrimp tempura roll.  I like the food but the service, the lack of organization, and the price are off putting.  I am giving that place a pretty short shelf life.  That said... we had a really fun time.  It was topped off w/ rowdy conversation and a beer at the Daily Planet.  Then a cab ride home w/ a "rapper" blaring Mariah Carey or some shit?  Good times!!!

Ok, now that I have complained about everything else how about myself.  My folks were really great and came up this weekend to help us put siding on the house and put the gardens (such as they are) to bed.  My dad bangs in a nail in like 3 shots and leaves nary a mark.  I hit the f*ing thing 12 times (actually I swing 12 times but only hit it 7) and by the time I am done there are indents all over the wood and I have possibly snapped off the head of the nail.  I am a shitty carpenter.  Not very handy.  Kind of a prince.  And very handsome.

OK how about a little fun.  Run, run, run, run, you have to run like an antelope... out of control!!!
http://www.brobible.com/videos/watch/mountain-biker-taken-out-an


sorry, had trouble embedding those 2...

Jay About Date Night

Last night my special lady and I went on a little date night and it was quite nice.  We cruised down to Tourterelle in New Haven.  We started with a drink at the bar and a little small talk.  As w/ most specialty cocktails, these were a little overly sweet w/ too many ingredients but not bad.  My lady had a modified martini and I had a "new fashoin".  We then sat down at a table by the bar for a nice meal.  The lighte were low, the space was comfortable, and the service was attentive.  We started with a Napleon au Saumon and Escargots.  The escargots were tender, well seasoned and served w/ a delicious savory pancake and nice sausage accompainiment.  The salmon was also very good.  The corn pancakes were very good, the salmon was nicely smoked and not overly fishy.  We then moved on to the entrees.  My wife went for a chicken crepe with Manchego cheese tomato and basil.  It was excellent.  I had pork tenderloin with poached figs and very crispy buttermilk onion rings.  We finished at home w/ take out apple brandy tirimasu and a glass of courvousier.  It was all very delicious.  They do an excellent job at the T. if you ever find yourself in the area or are looking for a little something special and off the run.

Steve Jobs... very sad.  The guy was an inovator who definitely changed the game.  I think we will miss him and his wonderful ideas. 

Seriously, we may be about to choose between a guy we knoe is killing the economy, Weekend at Romneys (cause he might actually be dead), and a dude that does not believe in dinosaurs for president.  Is Dave Chapelle not available?!



Hey, how about those Wall Street protestors?  Good for you assholes.  You are wasting tons of resources and what are you angry about?  Some vague idea you have from Time magazine about how some folks are spending your money?  How about you don't get a 10-1 arm loan to buy a house you knew you couldn't afford?  That might be ok too.  Nice elbow patches on your tweed coat... dick.

Go Yankees... awwww too soon?!  HAHAHAHA!  Join the pity party!

I have one word for you Mars!!!!

Congrats

To my friend T-Pain and his new bride B-Pain!  A crew of us headed to the Edson Hill Manor for the wedding and I for one and a darned fun time.  Tried not to be #1 guest, and I think I largely succeeded.  Food was good and despite the rain the setting was also very nice.  I think the company men really carried on like some good old fashioned muckety mucks!!!  Good to see and hang w/ some of the guys I don't see on a daily basis as well.  Always fun.  We also rolled in a Middlebury Transit "luxury van" which was nice as I was not really in a good spot to drive a car.  It was a f*ing long trip but they were professional and put up w/ a tone of nonsense.  As did my wife who slept while I tried to see how close I could get my finger to her face w/out touching it (1/4" if you were wondering).

Second quick thing... we were able to play at the Country Club of Vermont in Waterbury yesterday which was fun.  It is a private club but we got an in.  It was a little rainy and very wet but the course is beautiful.  They really keep it in great shape.  Lots of traps, trees, and a long ass course.  I lost several balls.  It was tough.  One thing that was odd though, I got there at 7:45AM and the clubhouse was locked w/ a cleaning lady inside vacuuming.  Don't old people members like to play early before work?  Shouldn't it at least be open if the first tee time is at 8am, you know... in case you want to change, get a coffee, take a f*ing shit?!  Weird.  We only saw 2 other people on the course all day, even when the sun came out.  After the round we rolled in for lunch and found one guy watching TV in the clubhouse.  He worked there.  After getting our lunch in order he struggled mightily to figure out the touch screen computer.  My 4 year old nephew could have worked the damned thing.  He also struggled to figure out our drink order and execute on it?  By the time we left the was the one guy watching TV and another one vacuuming the piano in the corner.  This is a private course that costs thousands of dollars to be a member and hundreds to play a single round.  WTF?!?!  It was fun anyway. 

I Knew It!!!

Amazon is sick of Apple kicking their ass so they finally gave in and hired the criminal mastermind Lex Luthor to sell the new Kindle Fire!!! 

"We are excited to bring you the new Kindle Fire, it is smaller than the IPad and you can get Apps, browse the web, read books, and defeat Superman... uh, er, I mean stream over 17million songs!  It is wifi ready, is able to save content to the cloud, and is run by a small amount of kryptonite, I mean a 200MB chip.  We are expecting big things from the Fire and the whole Legion of Doom, um, I mean Amazon, is very excited to usher in a new day of global domination!!!  Shit... am I fired?  F*ck you Superman, and f*ck you Steve Jobs!!!

It's BBQ Time!!!

So on Friday I had the pleasure of joining friends for a bit of a new and exciting BBQ delivery experience.  These local folks have a website where you can order food on Wed. and have it delivered on Fri.  These homegrown do it out of the garage experiments are fun and often quite delicious so I was pretty psyched to check this one out. http://miserylovescopresents.blogspot.com/p/event-brite.html  This Barbecue did not disappoint.  We took a run at the whole menue.  The chicken was well cooked, tender but cooked through w/ nice smokey flavor.  The ribs tasted ok but were a bit overcooked and dry.  The Brisket was great.  Tender, fatty, and great flavor.  The sauce was tangy and sweet and a nice oaccompaniment.  The coleslaw and potato salad were good.  I did not try the beans but heard they were very good.  The apple pie was also surprisingly good.  It looked like a store pie but the filing was solid and the crust was soft, a little flaky and covered w/ delicious sugar.  I thought the whole thing was really quite good and I would check it out again.  1 3/4 thumbs up.

Another quick aside, I had the opportunity to watch Machete this weekend and it was GREAT!  Blood, guts, jokes, boobs... Steven Seagal!  It was a really solid 2 hours and well worth the look if you like fake schlocky shit.  It was also better than watching the Red Sox or Patriots this weekend... ugh.

Jay About to Recover

This weekend we rolled down to Foxwoods for my buddy T-Pain's bachelor party and it was really something.  I won't get into all of the gory details but let's just say I fell asleep in my clothes (better than naked) and possibly barfed upon seeing a bloody mary first thing Saturday morning.  The casino itself was fine.  I am not a big gambler but it is fun to sit and play a few hands of blackjack w/ friends.  It was not super busy and certainly was not as "glamorous" as Vegas but we had a fun time.  I would like to thank Marlene for all of the awesome cards she dealt herself.  I didn't need that $200, you have it!  It is weird to be indoors where you can smoke.  Thanks Mashantucket Pequots!  Did you know Foxwoods was actually the brainchild of a Malaysian guy rather than a Native American?  Well, not you do.  Lim Goh Tong. Care for a fire water or diseased blanket joke here?  Me neither. 

We stayed at the newer MGM Grand hotel.  The rooms were decent size, comfortable, clean... and most importantly noise and idiot tolerant.  Dinner was at the Pan-Asian joint Shrine.  I was expecting overpriced buffet food but it was actually pretty good.  They need a larger sake menu.  I bad a pretty solid cucumber avocado and Toro sashimi and then flattened chicken in hoisin sauce on an onion pancake.  It was all pretty good.  The fish "tartar" dish was also very good, pretty fresh w/ some crunchy chips on top.  It was expensive, probably more than it needed to be but was not egregious as casinos go. 

After that we played cards and had a "couple" drinks.

The next morning we drove up to Mass. and played golf at the Pleasant Valley Country Club.  Membership was slightly younger than dead but T-Pain's brother did us a solid and got us all set up to play there at a more than reasonable price.  The building looked like a high school and definitely needed a revamp but we had a nice and very cute bartender and were on our way!  The course itself was beautiful.  It was long and and tree lined.  While it was not overly difficult and pretty hard to lose balls, the length and the numerous sand traps together with very fast greens made it a challenge.  How did you like that last sentence alluding to balls and length?  Boo-Ya!  Anyway, after a few holes I shook off the hangover that was crushing me and it was fun.  On the first tee I whiffed and then sent a tee shot 10 feet on the ground.  It was not my best start.  The course had great flora and was well maintained w/ nice fairways and greens.  It was a best ball scramble but I am pretty sure I would have shot a 70! 

After that it was in the car and home w/ a quick stop and McDonald's.  That tasted good going down but hurt pretty bad later.  I paid for my sins Sunday when I re wallpapered the downstairs bathroom.  Overall a fun time and one which I am glad I will never have to repeat for my liver's sake!

Jay About to Turn the Mike Over

So last night Phish played a benefit in Essex, VT for the Hurricane Irene flood victims.  I went w/ my special lady and our pals the LB^2.  Now I could have written a review but I have a buddy who is a much more thoughtful fan and as you are about to see... this is much better.  Harry Hoodwink, take it away!

"Soundchecks provide a rare glimpse into the mood of the group and shed some light on the interactions between the band members. When playing outside and the soundcheck emanates throughout the valley, there are often chances for the crowd to hear glimpses of the upcoming show, or oddball rarities. On Wednesday, updates began popping up online, noting that Phish checked Peaches in Regalia, a Zappa cover that popularly frequented late 80s setlists. And then, surprisingly, the whole soundcheck, Peaches included, was recorded by the band and released prior to the show, sending a buzz around the online community. Here’s a link to the soundcheck download if you’d like to listen yourself. http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ABJXZXAF The intro jam is particularly compelling starting at 3:30. At 6 PM, on Phantasy Tour message board, Matzo notes “Right after the first jam you can hear Trey and Mike talking about how great a groove that was. Mike says that should be the whole next phish album. Trey tells mike to have "john" e-mail it to him. Mike says he sends out for recordings of every soundcheck. Awesome.”

This soundcheck also gives fans a view into the lighter side of the band. After Ginseng, left in a void, Page starts monkeying around with his theremin. As the eerily wavering electronic instrument (best known for its role in the Star Trek theme) dominates the PA, Trey leans into his mic and begs, ”Page, stop it, Page, I think the time has come for the vacuum theremin to end,” referring to the Fishman’s penchant for playing vintage Electrolux vacuum cleaners, then continues, ”They sound exactly the same.” Page responds, ”that’s a good idea….” And cuts out the exploration, but then Trey follows on and offers Page, ”Silent Night. Play silent Night” and so Page obliges with eerily oscillating theremin wavering out the Christmas classic. This leads to an impromptu made up on the spot “Too Much Fried Dough at the Fair”, and eventually, a tightly checked “Peaches en Regalia” instrumental to warm up the fingers.


Ticket time for the show was 7, with a hard cap at 11 PM due to noise ordinances. Right around 7:30, Governor Shumlin sauntered up to center stage to shake hands, kiss some babies, and give us all an update on VT flood relief, and to get things rolling. As the lots cleared and the crowd filtered in there, were pinch points where crowd control barriers pinched the crowd in certain places restricting flow and creating high traffic avenues, but eventually worked itself out around the outer edges of the stage, providing plenty of General Admission room on the field or in the Grandstands depending on where you wanted to anchor down.


The end of the summer tour came last week in Colorado where Phish played an entire show sponsored by the letter “S”, with every song following suit (Sample, Sparkle, Sloth, Sweet Virginia…) Then later during that run, Fishman wore his standard moo moo with “Xs” dotted everywhere instead of his normal “O”s. Following the show, many fans speculated that the band maneuvers were a veiled attempt to allude to a benefit show to be played at “SX”…or Essex Junction, Vermont. Soon after the Denver run closed, the benefit was announced. On this Wednesday evening show in Vermont, Fishman set up shop behind his drum kit sporting a newly crafted moo moo special for the occasion, instead of the O circles normally dotted evenly around the garment, this one featured hurricanes with a shout out to Irene.
The first set was an approachable rock ‘n roll jaunt with a fan-appreciated NICU and a solid Wolfman’s Brother > Julius set closer. Phish.net writes “Of course, leave it to Phish to stick the landing, as they did with a really nice "Wolfman's" > "Julius" combo. A few minutes into the "Wolfman's" jam, Trey made the first hard left turn of the night, modulating into a very unexpected harmonic space. The "Julius", though, provided the arguable highlight of the entire evening and will gain a reputation as one of the best if not the best "Julius" of 3.0.”
The second set blazed open with Carini > Down with Disease > Slave sequence that the band is wont to do right out of the gates after setbreak. This three song sequence was probably the highlight of the show in terms of energy and exploration. Pete Carini, drum tech for the band, was in attendance for his first show since before the first hiatus. Before the band kicked off the second set, Trey noted that the Pete and Tara Carini were the only local friends they hadn’t had a chance to catch up with since being back in Vermont, and then dedicated the song with their namesake to them to kick off the second set.

Following a high energy, if not truncated, Carini > DWD, Slave to the Traffic Light takes off at 1:30 during this video, screaming into overture, with Trey taking the lead at 1:55, white lights blaring out over the crowd on the field and into the grandstands beyond.  Then without hesitation, at 3:00 the band takes right off into the Velvet Underground’s Rock & Roll. http://www.youtube.com/embed/0_nqCDnOkCA

Theme from the Bottom was another favorite to see outdoors under the stars.  As always, Chris Kuroda was solid on lights, pulling out some great organic textures, developing color palettes that convey desired moods during jams, and executing on timing changes that always enhance the showgoing experience.  http://www.youtube.com/embed/PvcV3uz2bDg

Note at 1:04, 1:08 & 1:14 in this video when Page pings his upper keys for punctuation how Chris has flashes of light synced with his piano to punctuate the effect. The jam begins building at 3:15, with Page laying down a base of grand piano major chords for Trey to dart in and out of before he hits that overture at 3:55 and screams out through his guitar, washing out over the crowd. The whole band drives forward for the next two minutes with Trey taking the lead until he ducks out at 5:30 and makes room for Page to build into starting at 5:40, Vocal rolling jam at 6:05 “From the Bottom, from the Top”, and the underwater coral lighting Theme from the Bottom to match:

Character Zero is an all-in rocker that never fails to get the crowd chanting along and fist pumping, starting here at 0:25. Everyone get those fists ready to go again at 1:25. http://www.youtube.com/embed/jYBK1GRX9DE



All in all, a great way to spend a Wednesday night, and enjoyable Phish show if your expectations weren’t set too high. Of course, there are those that expected to be led into the Promised Land, or Gamehenge, whichever the case may be. Greenwigmonster at 10:45 PM offers,”I F#CKING HATE CHARITY”, while SatchTheDog agrees “2011'd” and ForgetPhull writes “3.0’d” suggesting that the band in its most recent incarnation doesn’t have the same energy, exploration & jamming as highlight years such as 1993 & 1995. Well, of course they don’t, that was close to 20 years ago. “Harry Doyle” takes it a step further, “Not only do Vermonters have sewage in their basements, now they have piss in their ears,” referring to a scene in the Phish documentary “Bittersweet Motel” where the Director Todd Phillips forces Trey to read bad reviews of the band on camera to catch a glimpse of his emotional reaction to the critiques. It gives you a (sometimes painful) glimpse of the pressure and expectations forced upon a band, and in particular, the lead singer/songwriter/axe-man.

Meanwhile, people are filtering out of the venue, and CheeseSteaks, in a thread labeled “Handy Suites” asks “Okay, so what's the post-show looking like back at the motel? Tim and Eric? Fresh fruit? Light stretching?”


In the end B-B sums it up right: “Organic lights, funky and deconstructed beats, cavern, Julius, rock n roll, and lovin cup. #phish, you've done vermont well.” All in all, a great community feel for a fun school night out, so much fun to see so many Vermonters out to see the band in their home state, and it was all for a great cause. "

***So there you have it!!!

Really... the summer is over?

It was nice this weekend the the evenings are getting quite brisk.  Couple quick things, my special lady and I went to a food fair at the Shelburne Orchard and it was pretty fun.  The food was ok, there was a pretty good corn and cheddar salad from Shelburne Farms, some not very good wine from Lincoln Peak, and really good whoopie pies from a local baker I always forget.  We also had a nice time wandering around picking a few apples in the sunshine. 

On the flip side of the coin was a Saturday lunch trip to Il Gatto.  We rolled in around 2pm or so and the whole place had maybe 6 full tables for 3 servers.  We waited for awhile before getting some chips.  Our drink order was not taken.  After another very long wait while our server wandered around like a moron and chatted up a table outside we finally placed the drink and food order.  After another 15 minutes we got our drinks.  I had no idea they picked their own limes in Mexico, and shipped them to order? After another 30 minutes or so a waitress who was not ours asked how it was going and if we needed more chips.  I responded it was going "slow" and my wife pointed out that 2 tables who had come in well after us had already been served while we were still waiting for our nachos and 2 tacos.  Not exactly a 7 course meal.  By the way... for lunch you can order all of the components of a taco platter but not the platter itself.  Sure, why not waste plates?  Our waitress also neglected to tell us what the specials were.  She seemed very confused by the new fangled "computer" she was constantly working on.  Come to find out the "computer" had failed to print our order in the kitchen so it never got in.  Our waitress was too busy w/ the other table she was serving so she never noticed. Offering to put a "rush" on it we declined w/ extreme disgust.  To their credit they compted our drinks but this was a very disappointing trip to a place already on watch negative.  Pull your shit together Il Gatto. 

Well shit...

I am listening to that Jay-Z/Kanye song Otis and the first time I hated it.  The second time, hated it.  The third time still didn't like it but it was catching like crabs (or so I am told). Now I can't help but listen to it when it comes on the radio.  Damn!

Speaking of love/hate... Obama presented his jobs speech last night and he is a dynamic speaker and certainly looks the part of a leader.  The problem is that he starts off ok and then says stupid shit.  He played too much to unions and the tax the rich crowd.  Neither side of the aisle seem to be able to open their mouths w/out creating class warfare and in the process they create deeper divisions. If you told me you were going to look for ways to create jobs and in the process those employed may need to sacrifice to create security for the future I would find that much more palatable than... we will pay for this plan by increasing taxes on the rich because they can afford it.  Many people that are "rich" have money because they worked hard to make it.  And they may not have several million like Obama or billion like Buffet.  So they will be reluctant to give up those hard earned gains, especially for the guy on the street addicted to heroin begging for cigarettes who will need to be supported due to bad choices not bad luck.  So change the tone.  We all want to help the folks who have had bad luck or are busting their asses but got screwed by the asshole risk junkies of the world, and hope we get help when we need it too.  Take out the attack and bring people together and you would make it harder for the Boehner's to come out and immediately dismiss your plan.  Which they did.  Now, we have next to nothing.  Except a stock market down 4% today.  Shit.  At least we have Europe to... Awwww, too soon?

BTW, that Green Bay/ Saints game last night was a pretty good start to the season.  Lots of speed, talent, offense, excitement.  I enjoyed it.  I was not a buyer of Green Bay and the hype but they looked pretty darn good last night.  New Orleans did too.  So many weapons how do you cover them all.  These guys dropped 8 in coverage and it still seemed like 4 guys were always open.  So much speed.  Like a party at Lou Reed's house in the 70s. Well, except minus the eye shadow, transvestites, abrasive music, and shiny silver balloons on the ceiling?  Nice work by Kid Rock in the pre-game.  Drop the huge American flag and you can be singing anything.

Jay About Maine

Last week my special lady and I went on our annual trip to the family camp in Belfast Maine.  It almost seemed like it was not going to happen when a f*ing hurricane blew through VT and left half the state under water.  It really was a tragedy and affected many lives.  We were lucky, it blew and rained but we did not even lose power.  Odd.  In any event, we were able to get on the road Monday and after the storm it was sunny and very pleasant.  We dropped our asshole cat w/ my folks and made our way north.  It is a long drive to Belfast so we decided to take a break in Portland for the evening.  It was really fun.  We stayed at the Davenport which is a very nice place in Old Port.  The rooms are spacious and clean.  They have beautiful views and several sitting areas as well as a nice billiard room in the basement.  The only criticism I have is that the breakfast was not very good.  There was a blueberry crumble that was good but it was put on top of banilla yogurt which was gross.  There was nice fruit and the potatoes were good but the Mexican fritata was way too big a portion and did not taste that great, not enough salsa, a little burned, and too heavy on the cheese to egg ratio.  Otherwise it was a very nice place to stay.  Monday night we went out in Old Port and did it up.  We had dinner in the bar at Fore Street and it was very good.  The space is dark and very cool.  We sat on a couch and had delicious oysters, very fresh lump crab, and a also fresh seasonal salad.  Add to that some very well made cocktails and some nice white wine and we were in business (and nearly broke!).  It was expensive but the food, service, and setting were all top notch... 1 7/8th thumbs up.  We then wandered up Congress Street and closed down Bistro Jaqueline w/ a nice glass of champagne and then some other bar w/ a load of delicious local brews. We then proceeded to get lost and walk off our dinner in a quite unintentional way around Portland.  It was a very nice evening however.

Belfast itself was same old.  @ Tides was typically good.  Dockside was a little disappointing, Young's Lobster Pound... delicious and fun. 

Thurs. night we rolled down to Rockland and went to highly regarded Primo.  They are known for using local ingredients and embracing the farm to table ethos.  The place was a little off the run but the space was nice.  We went upstairs to the bar and waited for our table.  The cocktail list was extensive and pretty decent.  Then on to dinner.  The amuse bouche chicken pate was very good.  Then things went a little down hill.  We started w/ fried green tomatoes and oysters 2 ways.  The tomato had a bad consistency and the fry was like burnt cheese, not burnt cheese in a good way either.  The oysters were ok but nothing special, breaded and cooked. The wine was over priced and ok, not great.  The main courses were also uninspiring.  My snapper was pretty good and the lobster/potato mash was very good.  My wife's pasta was way over slated.  It was better the next day as a leftover.  The service was quite good.  The biggest problem was the prices.  For $15 an overly salted pasta dish tastes a whole lot different than a $32 one.  Even in New York they don't generally rip your face off that bad.  We thought the whole meal was just ok but priced for exceptional plus.  1 thumb on the atm taking out more cash. 

One last non-Maine related note.  Saddie Katz closed its doors last week after an all to brief stay in Burlington.  They made delicious sandwiches.  Biscuit and I ate one last meal before they closed and as always it was great.  I had a delicious greasy but not too greasy Reuben and the potato salad was solid.  2 thumbs up and hope to see you back in the mix some day...

Congrats!

To LB Squared on their nuptials!  It was a very fun wedding.  The was a nice mix of people who were ready to get their groove on and I thought the LBs did a very nice job sorting it all out. The Round Barn did an excellent job with food and decor.  There was dancing, drinking (too late), and parties galore.  Good crowd, good music (especially during the ceremony and reception), good fun.  If you are looking for a fun cheap place to bring a crowd and stay for a night or two check out the Slidebrook Inn in Waitsfield.  It is no frills but was a good crash pad for us.  As far as the wedding, 2 resounding thumbs up!!

On the flip side, yesterday the special lady and I watched the Denzel train thriller Unstoppable.  This could have also been called "Unwatchable" or "Denzel on a Train Without Travolta", or "2 Hours Until the Hostage Taker Gives You Back Your Life"!  What a piece of shit.  The tension is never really built.  Denzel is fat.  There is no chemistry between characters.  Trains lost their action appeal in 1942... seriously, who the f*ck still rides on a train?!  Why is Rosario Dawson in this movie?  I have a hard time believing there are many super hot exotic looking train managers or whatever her job was.  It is like imagining Jessica Alba in an action flick where she sells magazines at a kiosk in the Burlington Airport and has to stop a madman from stealing all of the month old In Style magazines.  Gripping no?  And who decides to put fuel tanks next to a hairpin railroad track curve?  Why would you put them there for heck's sake?  There are 1 billion better places to put them in any town or city?!  Was it too expensive to put the nuclear reactor there?!?!?!  1 thumb down. 

Das Poop!!!!

Haha, couldn't help myself.  Even my special lady commented that JAT had gotten a little poo-centric of late.  This is not one of those posts.  Seriously.  So I was working from home yesterday to test some systems and it sucked.  I figured I would wake up late, watch Sportcenter, eat some breakfast, Price is Right, lunch, and then mess around in the afternoon.  Instead I was up at a normal hour and working through connectivity issues and some other work stuff for the morning.  I did not even catch the showcase showdown!  After a pleasant lunch I was back trying to watch 9 different data sources on one 12" laptop.  F*ing brutal.  Meanwhile the market was melting down, I was inside while the sunshine was blazing outside, and my f*ing cat was just sitting outside the door to my office howling like I was beating him (I wasn't).  It was really quite unpleasant.  Hope returned when I headed back to Burlington and met some pals for beers and dinner.  It was $1 PBR night at Akes Thursday night.  That was pretty darn awesome and cheap!  We then rolled over to Das Bierehause for some big beers and chow.  I had a Jager Sandwich which was not at all what I was expecting.  It was pretty good though.  Or at least the PBRs told me so. It was a flattened piece of mystery meat/schnitzel I think on toast w/ fried onions, cheese and some weird brown gravy.  Hey, it was good.  The spicy fries were also really solid.  Mac and cheese was ok.  The one thing I was a little unsure of were the dumplings.  It is like a bready no meat meatball.  It tasted ok but the consistency was not super pleasant.  All in it was a good drinkin' meal.  And the waitress was pretty good looking in her dirndl and really was very nice to put up w/ our shit.  Usually an aggressively loud and overly detailed conversation about manscaping will get you shooshed but our server rolled w/ it and just gave us a mildly disapproving head shake.  Alright! 

Quick side note... we had lunch at Il Gatto and for a second time it was pretty darn good.  I had the carnitas taco and a mole pollo taco.  Both were good.  The guacamole was under seasoned and not very fresh but the salsa again was quite good. So far, so good.

Jay About Some Random Spots

My special lady and I packed up the car and ventured down to the Berkshires for a wedding this past weekend.  The wedding was very pleasant but that is not what I am going to talk about.  Instead we will delve into 2 somewhat off the run food options we explored while travelling to and fro.  Stop number one was an Indian joint called the Aroma Bar and Grill Friday night.  We met up w/ the in-laws at this spot in Great Barrington and dug in.  Right away we were given a thin hard bread that was spicy as all get out.  Uh oh.  Then we dove into the food.  There was a saag paneer that was a little greasy but very good, a veggie biryani w/ yogurt sauce that was money, lamb and fried veggie ball dishes in a spicy tomato sauce that were good and a fantastic almond naan.  It was funny, when the waiter asked us how spicy we wanted the food he looked us up and down with a suspicious glare and suggested medium heat.  We could have used maybe a little more but not much.  The spices were very nice and the flavors were full and textured.  The place looked like a diner but the service was adequate and the food was really quite good.  My one reservation is that everyone had some pretty serious stomach distress the following day.  As in, oh man, if I venture too far from home in the morning I might shit myself.  So if you find yourself in the area and are looking for Indian food I would say give this place a try... but plan accordingly.

Sunday we drove back up Route 22 and before getting to Vergennes we were passing a little BBQ joint that I have wanted to go to for awhile, so with my wife's blessing I ripped into the parking lot to give it a try.  It is essentially a small stand w/ a large smoking oven in front of some guy's house.  They had 3 picnic tables, and there were 2 younger guys in board shorts and tank tops listening to Cypress Hill and making BBQ meat.  They looked baked but there was a decent crowd gathered to chow down so f*** it!  We ordered a pulled pork sandwich and some cole slaw.  The napkins at the stand were wet from an earlier rain.  Not ideal.  After a little wait we got our food and settled in.  The cole slaw was only ok.  It was a heavily peppered vinegar sauce, not great.  The pulled pork on the other hand was great.  It was cooked nicely, was tender, and had great spicy flavor.  The sauce was also great.  If you are on Rt.22 pull over to Willie D's Black Box BBQ and enjoy!!!

Oh yeah, thanks for this gem NS, and sleep w/ one eye open!!!

http://youtu.be/MrEPt79QQQI

It Burns!!!

Nope, not what you weirdos were thinking at all, and frankly, I am just a tad ashamed of you... perverts!  Anyway, we had a lat round of golf last night playing the last hole in the dark.  I am going to say that is why I shot a 22 on that hole.  Afterwards T-Pain and I rolled over to Archie's Grill for a beer and a little take out.  Maybe we were a little intoxicated from the smell of the grilled beef or the beers we drank on the course but the two of us both went big and ordered the blue cheese stuffed onion ring burger.  Yup, you heard that shit right!  It is an onion ring stuffed w/ blue cheese on a burger w/ a buttered bun and more blue cheese.  It is f*d up!!  First off, the burger was delicious.  Really solid.  At 4am though Archie enacted his revenge.  I woke up with a burning sensation rising up from my stomach to my throat mouth and really into my finger tips.  The heartburn was ridiculous.  I thought I was going to puke.  I dropped a couple Rolaids extra strength tablets and tossed and turned for awhile before falling back asleep.  Had Archie done his worst?  Hardly.  On my way into work (a 20minute drive or so) I felt an unmistakable gurgling.  Uh oh... I peeled into the Dunkins and took care of business.  It burned.  There was a funny sign in the bathroom stating how Dunkin employees took pride in the cleanliness of the bathroom (it was clean).  I was putting this to the test.  It was a message... "Jay's stomach lining sleeps with the fishes."... compliments of Archie!!!  Once I made it to work there were one or two more episodes.  Even now hours later I feel like I am on pretty shaky ground.  Archie had exacted a steep price for his deliciousness.  I am a 35 year old man who has had a sensitive constitution for years.  You would think I would have learned by now but nope... if I see a pulled pork situation or onion rings, or jalapenos... I am waving them in!  What an ass.

Satisfied w/ the poop content of this blog yet?  Go ahead and "like" me on Facebook.  Haha, I am not on Facebook NERDS!!!!!

Jay About Il Gatto

Yes, it is the triumphant return of Jay as a restaurant reviewer!  Been awhile since anything has opened here in town but finally we are back in the mix and in the hunt for Mexican.  I admit that I had very mixed feelings about "the cat".  They had several false starts before opening and I find that to be a universal bad sign.  On the flip side, a couple co-workers had gotten lunch there in the first week and they liked it.  So my special lady and I bucked up and gave it a run.  This is week numero duo and it was pretty busy.  The bar was packed and most of the seats were full w/ a young a pretty lively crowd.  The space itself was repainted but not much different structurally from its predecessor Vietnam Restaurant II which is fine.  We got water and chips and salsa pretty quickly.  A good sign as most just opened spots suffer from terrible service.  The chips were a little stale but pretty good and the salsa was fresh tasting and had nice heat. After perusing the drink menu we asked what kind of tequila they used for the infused tequila which was the base for their house margaritas.  Our server did not know which means "well" so we opted for the hornitas gold w/ fresh lime juice and Cointreau.  Fantastic.  Really solid marg.  Ok, we were getting someplace.  The vibe was pretty happening, and so far the fare was respectable.  It took awhile to order food and a long time to get the food but several other servers stopped by occasionally to check in on our chips and salsa situation.  For dinner my special lady got a combo platter w/ a pork taco and a chili releno.  I did not get a bite of the taco (booo) but the chili was delicious.  I went for the pollo mole.  It was decent.  A thigh and a slightly overcooked breast (haha).  The mole was good not great.  The rice was good, the tortillas were ok, and the beans were pretty good but could have used a little more flavor.  Overall the food was pretty good.  1000x better than any other Mexican joint in Burlington and not a bad first experience.  The bill was also very reasonable.  I would give it a thumb and a half up w/ a hopefully bright future as part of the rotation!

BTW... how do you likes stocks down 620, up 420, and down 520 post debt deal/S&P downgrade.  No volatility there.  My ulcer has moved on from my stomach and is now eating my kidneys. Shit.