I have a nasty case of diarrhea. My kids have a nasty case of diarrhea. There is poop everywhere in my house. The toilets, their clothes, my clothes, a million wipes and cloths. I gave my boy a moment to air dry his sore toosh on a blanket in hid high chair last night. Tactical error. He shot liquid poop straight out the back and all over the chair. This kind of shit did not happen to me before kids. Literally. I sharted in my sleep last night. I was woken by kids screams around 3AM. It was time to change another destroyed diaper. I had to go downstairs and poop myself. I slammed into a trunk on the floor, ran into a door, lost all bodily fluids, and then cleaned up basically a complete and undigested meal w/ my wife. Not for nothing but this is a pretty far cry from 2 years ago when we would be planning what cool hotel in the Caribbean to drink rum cocktails at!!! That said, we woke up the other morning and went into the kids room, my daughter was standing in her crib and pulling back the curtain with her little hand to watch the sunrise out of her window. It was pretty amazing.
So I was in Vegas last week for work and that city is ridiculous. I don't really like Las Vegas. I am not a big gambler, I don't order hookers, and I don't care to spend $456 for a ticket to a show for a performer that by all rights should be playing this summer at the Champlain Valley Fair. http://taylorhicks.com/events/las-vegas-nv-bally-s-las-vegas
That said, I love the people watching. It is funny and sad. It all starts with the plane trip. You can tell the folks going to Vegas. They are so excited. I don't want to act too big for my britches but this is straight up the people who still watch the nightly news on ABC. Fanny packs, lots of denim high and low, it's GO TIME!!! There is no connection to anywhere in Vegas right? That is the final destination, but when you land it is a rush to exit as if everyone is late to a job interview or something. Next stop, the hotel. I stayed at the Trump which is a family friendly joint w/ no casino. I was there solo but wanted to stay out of trouble. The lobby is amazing. More denim vests, wacky t-shirts, goofy haircuts, and everyone crushing giant cocktails. Out on the strip more weirdos. Folks just cruising around drinking 84oz margs, in bight plastic vessels w/ little to no booze. Where else would you order such a thing? Key West. I also enjoy the oddballs who blatantly stare and take pics (w/out pay) of the scantily clad women on the strip. It is like living the internet.
The casino themselves are the ultimate in weird. The folks you see rocking out at the slot machines are amazing. Especially the amount of rascals in play? I can't criticize too much, I am the guy that crapped my own pants last night and while playing black jack the one night I managed to rookie move and knock my beer off the table and all over the floor. It was almost empty.
The farther away from the new casinos you go the crazier the scene. I walked all the way north to Circus Circus and it was indeed a circus. I suppose that is to be expected of a place w/ a fine dining option sponsored by Vince Neil. Next stop back to the airport where the real degenerates bang out a last few pulls on the slot machine and it is time for that last beer on the plane. Did I grab a 20oz to go beer form the only open bar in the airport at 11:30PM? What do you think.
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