Jay About The String Cheese Incident

So my buddy LB sent me a text asking if I wanted to go see STI at Memorial auditorium. I had never seen them live and thought of them as a jammy bluegrass kind of band. I kind of like their stuff and a live show is a live show so I checked w/ the boss and was in!! We started off with a beer and a slice of pizza over at Manhattan Pizza which was really not too bad. My pizza was a little doughy but not too oily and tasted pretty good. Then we cruised to Memorial. It was cold. BTW, Memorial Auditorium sucks as a venue. And we f*d up. They did not serve beer, anywhere in the venue. It got hot as f***, they ran out of water, and to smoke people had to crowd onto a small balcony which created a huge mess at the intermission. As for the show? We got in early and got pretty close to the stage. The band had a huge sound set up and a great stage and light show. The music was great. 2 blistering sets w/ jams that veered from bluegrass twang to aggressive shredding techno rave. The crowd looked out of townie and pretty young. There were lots of capes, weird hats, and glitter. I was a little out of place but thought the band really ripped. The first set was a pretty much non stop assault and I was a big fan. After a short break they got back after it with a slightly more meandering but still very hot second set. http://www.friendsofcheese.com/incident.php?id=1496

I thought the show was fun. I wish I had drank more beer beforehand or had one of the enhanced lollipops everyone seemed to have on hand. We did have a very solid post game at Finnegan's Pub which has really upped their beer list game. Special points for the big old fat dude who was in front of us in the concert and kept backing up a half step every 20 seconds. He had backed LB up to Highgate before we pulled a quick 2 step and were all of a sudden in the huge space in front that the big man have carved out a shuffle at a time! Boo-Ya!!!

Sen. Elizabeth Warren... You suck

When it comes to politics I generally find myself disgusted by the antics of notorious assholes like Eric Cantor, Ted Cruz, Rick Perry... any of the god pushers who stand for a party committed to personal freedoms and limited spending but give them a bully pulpit and they will spend your last dime while lowering taxes that they need to fund these programs while simultaneously telling you how you should live your life (in the name of our Lord). On the Dem. side I am sick of Obama because he is a fraud and a rampant over taxer and the politicians like Bernie Sanders and Peter Welch here in VT are uniformed windbags who just like to hear themselves talk. One article I read today though made my brain melt and it was a blog post from noted hypocrite Elizabeth Warren. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elizabeth-warren/presidents-wall-street-nominee_b_6188324.html

Apparently the Obama administration is a little too Wall Street friendly. For a branch of government who cannot bash the finance industry enough and who has effectively blamed them for citizens borrowing too much money they knew they should not have... it seems curious that Obama has too many Wall Street cronies? Sure the top brass at banks have more money than ever. You can blame the Fed and various regulation for creating free cash but dis-incentivizing lending of risk for this cash hoarding. In any event... Sen. Warren does not like that Obama has nominated a 20yr Lazard vet and head of investment banking to a job in the Treasury Dept. She does not like that he worked in Europe and made deals that made the bank and their clients money. Forget that he is well educated and very qualified. Sen. Warren most likely would like a local bank teller or farm hand for that job. Hey, you don't like tax inversion? Make it more attractive for companies to stay here and they will. Stop trashing banks and companies and then acting hurt when they turn their back on you.

Furthermore... Warren is a major proponent of the working middle class and the common man. Of course the need for sacrifice in order to create equality should naturally fall to someone else. Here is a little snapshot of Sen. Warren's hypocrisy... http://elizabethwarrenwiki.org/income-and-net-worth/  Only 2.7% charitable giving? The average American gives over 3% and certainly do not make close to 1MM per year with a net worth of over 14MM? Also a pretty nice effective tax rate as the average was about 2% higher for the given tax bracket each year. She is only the 76th most wealthy member of the total 535 Congressional members so there is that. She has pulled shady shit w/ the "native American" thing, Whatever. Really I just people like Elizabeth Warren to shut the f*** up. You feel comfortable collecting mad cash at the expense of other Americans but you are opposed to others trying to do the same. This is America and we are all entitled to work hard and earn as much as we can. I don't care what you do but don't tell me that I cannot do the same. 

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Seriously? F*** Me (Grinds My Gears Post)

I have been aggravated all week. We spent the whole weekend cleaning our house in an attempt to possibly put it on the market. Part of this time was spent on a ladder replacing trim, on the roof replacing weather stripping, power washing in 38 degree 82 mile an hour wind, and other bullshit activities. My folks were really great and helped us a ton but it would have been much more fun to watch the Pats kick the shit out of Denver? It was a perfect illustration of the Manning/Brady dynamic. Manning throws for a ton of yards, Brady throws for meaningful yards and touchdowns, Brady wins, and then everyone apologizes for Manning and how and why things didn't work out for him. Brady is more valuable and does more with less. In 16 or so years he has had 2 years of sick offensive talent and he nearly went undefeated and set a bunch of records. The rest of the times he takes one good tight end, a bunch of hobos and just wins. I like Manning, no issues with him actually and he is a top 5 all time guy if not top 3. no doubt.

Anyway. How about that A-Rod? Admits to Feds he was taking roids the whole tome? No f*ing way!  I don't believe it! Another asshole that is showing his true colors? Lebron James. He is shooting like shit and blaming everyone else for the team's issues. Last night they lose on a last second shot. First he gets blocked from behind earlier in the game. On the play he shoved the primary defender in what should have been an offensive foul. No matter, Gordon Hayward cruises up from behind and blocks the shot leading Lebron to react as if there was a foul or something egregious. Nope. Later Lebron gets run off a pick and Gordon frees up for a tough long range falling away game winner. Lebron whines that the pick setter tripped him and then blames his teammate for not closing out on the switch to get close enough to defend what was an unblockable shot. Maybe A-Rod and Lebron should hang out in douche town together and complain about how they have gotten a raw deal.

Speaking of a raw deal, Scott Milne probably should have beaten incumbent and not very good governor Peter Shumlin here in Vermont. He actually fell 2095 votes (out of 195K or so) shy and many of those  were poached by the anti-Shumlin Progressive candidate.Milne has never held office, did not have enough money, and had no business being in the race but people are sick of Shumlin's bullshit. All he does is spend money he does not have and work to further his own personal political aspirations all over the country. Get back to VT, scrap that single payer train wreck and balance the budget Shummy. Overall the big loss for the Dems was ugly. Hello pissing matches and gridlock. Think and of Obama's judicial nominations will get approved? Nope. A pointless attempt to repeal "Obamacare" that has no prayer of succeeding and will just waste a ton of time. Yup. I hate politicians. Why can't we just get a reasonable moderate in office? Oh, because the folks like that with half a brain are in the private sector making money.

BTW, King Street deli becoming my new local sandwich go to. Decent sandwiches, good size, reasonable prices, nice people. Good veggie burger at Farmhouse Monday night and a delicious Sip Of Sunshine. Not everything grinds my gears I guess... just most things, like this 45 degree rain going on outside!!!!

It's Rodrigo Y Gabriela Time!

It was a big week for ol' Jaybird. After kid duty Saturday night I did up Primus on Sunday and then my special lady and I hit up the RodGab show on Monday night. We had seen this duo a couple years ago at the Flynn and they are great. They play a classical Spanish guitar type music if it was all banged up and raging to Metallica. I really dig it. Compared to the last show, they seemed much more confident and just rocked it out. The crowd was very much into it and to my surprise, even though the demographic was much older and more genteel than the Primus show... the crowd was much more raucous and interactive. The group reciprocated by taking requests and running through a tight set of new and old favorites.

They had an opener who was some tall blond Norwegian hippy that mentioned he was from Norway 694 times. That said he was fine and when they brought him out for an encore of Spirit's song Nature's Way, it was really good. 2 thumbs up, if they come around again check out RodGab.

For a quick bite we hit up the new wine bar next to the Trat... I don't remember the name and it does not show up on Google maps so they f*d up. No mention of it on the Trat website either even though same owners. Anyway, it may be hard to find but the vibe is pretty cool in the little hole in the wall. They serve up an App menu with a few large dishes and solid cocktails. As with every other Italian joint in town they featured an aged Negroni. It was good. For chow we had nicely seasoned beef carpachio, tasty fire roasted artichoke hearts, and the always excellent grilled mozzarella wrapped in Prosciutto. There is not much in the way of veggies on the menu but if you are down w/ slightly oily meat and cheese (which I usually am) it is worth a look. There was only one full time staffer who got a little overwhelmed by the pre-concert crush but he was nice and did his best. 1 1/4 thumbs up. It is worth a run if you have some time and want a drink and some conversation.

Happy Halloween.

Jay About Primus doing Wonka!

So last night I met up w/ some buddies to check out Primus at the Flynn Theater. We had heard that they were doing a set of Willy Wonka tunes. I would start by saying I am a huge fan of both Primus and the original Willy Wonka film. It was an odd venue in the theater though as it is staffed by old people who are used to Cuban/Norwegian fusion camber flute music and who very much frown on movement in the venue. Primus is pretty intense and often sees a pretty aggressive movement from the crowd. The one Primus concert I have seen that I did not enjoy was purely due to a shitty venue, Memorial Auditorium, which sucks bad. Well after some pretty solid wings and a couple of beers at RJ's we prepared for battle. It was a mob scene of dudes in their 30s. Needless to say it was tough to get a beer. Once inside the venue we got to our seats and settled in.

Primus steamed through a great set of classics. Nice energy, tight playing, and what you come to see and expect. Intermission was a train wreck. The Flynn was not prepared for a mostly male, fired up crowd and the beer line was ridiculous. It was slow and archaic. By the time I finally got a beer the band was back at it so I had to chug it and get back in. The second set itself was insane. The set was done like the chocolate room complete with a couple huge mushrooms. My one bone to pick was that the shrooms in the movie are flat and these ones looked more like a couple spotted dicks. How weird was the Wonka set? Well, the lights and audio visual set up featured scenes from the movie distorted and teased out in a pretty mind bending way. The music was dark and haunting. And for the Oompa Loompa songs the two things above came out and silently bobbed up and down in a disconcerting way.  I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing. The xylophone player and the cello player were both very good.

The encore was 2 great oldies that packed a ton of power. I particularly enjoyed Here Come the Bastards... though the Monkey face video was freaky as shit.

2 thumbs up. I like it a little weird w/ Primus and they delivered.

Oh Montreal... You got me again!

So my wife and I were moments from heading north to hang with friends in Montreal when she says, "Don't forget the passports.". Right, good call... wait, shit... mine just expired!  F***!!! I had known about the trip and my expired passport but had not put the two together. I always view Canada as VT North but I guess that is not the case. Anyway, there are all sorts of contradictory rules about crossing the border so we gathered up all of my documents pertaining to being alive and headed out. My wife was pretty mad at me the whole ride up but kept it together. At the border the guy basically intimated that I am a moron (true) and let us through. Jackpot!  The new interstate 35 is a nice ride, it saved about 25 minutes but felt like a much faster easier route into the city.

We stayed at the Hotel 10 on Sherbrooke. They make a point of telling you how loud the rooms are. Like they really make a point about it. We got one apparently as far from the club as we could. It was a nice room. Spacious, comfortable, clean. The bar/club on the other hand... We took a walk before dinner and then settled in for a cocktail. The bartender dismissed the drink menu and told my wife he could make her whatever he was the guy. He could make sweet drinks, something with cookie dough, cake batter, something sweet? No, how about a negroni. Well, they had just run out of Campari and bitter drinks are really hard. He wasn't sure they had anything comperable. I saw 5 bottles that could have made similar drinks. F*ing idiot. My lady had a Prosecco and I had a whiskey, can't f**** those up. We stopped at Benelux to meet the LBsquared contingent for a happt birthday beer before dinner. We were not cool enough for good service. We did have a good table by the window and the place had nice energy. Kind of hipster divey. They served up craft beers which after a trip back there after dinner we discovered you had to navigate around to separate the wheat from the chaffe. I did have a pretty decent saison and a good pale ale (it was really cold).

Next stop was dinner at Laurie Rapheal. I started with nice cold gin martini. So far so good. Next up the boys at the table fired up the "Hunter's Tasting Menu", featuring new menu items the chef was working out. The amuse bouche was a pulled venison if I remember correctly. Maybe the best thing we had, it was pretty solid. Next up were some high concept soups. Ours featured caviar, cucumber, and urchin with a creamy urchin broth poured over it. It was good. Could have been a little warmer but nice flavor and the urchin was really quite good (I am not always a lover). I will point out here that although it seemed like 48 people were "working" service was very slow. Our bread girl looked like she was on suicide watch. It was fun to try and determine if we were going to be charged by the slice as she was coming around quite often (we were not). The main course was a duck breast. It was tender and flavorful, It was a pretty solid dish. Desert was a chocolate mousse that was fine, nothing special. The whole dinner was fun for the company and a tasting menu is always kind of enjoyable. Overall the high concept high $$ scene demands something special and while this dinner was good it did not reach anywhere near special so I would only recommend LR with reservations and full disclosure. That said if you are looking for something a little spiffy check it out. They did not have Fernet Branca which would be a theme for the evening.

Back to the Benelux then the Hotel 10 bar. I ordered a Fernet Branca. Even though I could see the bottle on the bar the waitress was confused. Then the bartender was confused. It was like I was ordering unicorn tears?! I finally got my fernet and was satisfied. Still, it was a fun scene and we had some laughs.  The best part of the evening was when we retired to our room for a round of Alchemist Crushers. The Crusher is the higher octane relative of the Heady Topper. A Topper is already a giant F* you so the Crusher was an Oh Boy, Here We Go!  I liked it. Quite a bit. Needless to say, I trashed the mayor, we figured out the future political career for LB and talked and joked about a bunch of other nonsense before my lady shut us down at 3:30AM! Pretty solid right?

Sunday morning we found an Argentinian brunch spot near Old Montreal, L'Atelier d'Argentine. It was a cool space a really pretty good. Solid hangover fare. I rocked a ham and cheese grilled in duck fat and sauteed spinach. Yeah, I can't really breathe this week, and I may have a heart attack at any time. We also had some delicious tostados and donut holes (beignets). We wandered around town then tried to exit the city. The main bridge south was closed. I followed the detour signs which in typical Canadian style led in a circle to nowhere. They literally led in a circle around town with no exit to the other bridges. GPS and some sleuthing finally got us back on 35 after 45 minutes of hell.

Another disapproving head shake but otherwise smooth border crossing and we were home. It was a fun weekend and felt like a nice little oasis in the baby week. Go Canada!

**Apologies for the timing with the shootings in Ottawa. Seriously, WTF is wrong with people? Randomly spraying bullets as part of your Jihad? What is your little war against, common sense and decency?

Bill Hader is Just OK.

For some reason the legend of Bill Hader has grown to epic proportions in the last year or so. He must have an excellent publicist? I like the skits Hader has done. He is funny in the unfunny Californians sketch. That one he does w/ Seth McFarlane and the puppet id excellent. He was around for a decade so clearly he had some skills and more than a few moments. Howard Stern often goes over the top w/ guests but he called Hader a top 10 all time if not even top 5. Hader made the final 4 in a Grantland poll. People in NYC jizz over that stupid Stephon skit the same way they do about that dumb show Girls. Hader is not a top 10. Or a top 20. He was not the best cast member during his own run. The Bill Hader argument is like the HOF argument for Jack Morris. Sure he had a couple great moments but his stats only look good because he was around so long. Hey, longevity is a real skill in the entertainment biz, or any business really but it should not overwhelm talent and the singular efforts that made you rewatch a skit over and over. Just off the cuff; Eddie Murphy, Will Farrell, Phil Hartman, Dana Carvey, Chris Farley, Mike Meyers, pretty much all of that first cast w/ Chevy, Aykroyd, Belushi, and Gilda Radner. In his own time... Kristen Wiig owned that show. She was easily the best of that generation and certainly a top ten all time candidate. Andy Samberg was not a big feature player but he changed the way we view the show. Those digital shorts were the highlight of every week. Keenan Thompson, Will Forte, and Jason Sudeikis were all consistently as funny or more so. Molly Shannon had some really memorable characters. Adam Sandler and Jimmy Fallon were must watch in their short times on the show.

All I am saying is that while Hader was great and an important part of the show he was never the reason you tuned in. In the years I was watching "live", those people were; Dana Carvey, then Hartman, then Sandler/Farley, Farrell, and Wiig. Everyone else was just filling the space around the edges.

BTW, know what is less fun than wrangling 2 tired sick kids to daycare? Nothing. There is nothing.

Jay About the King Street Deli

The King Street Deli has been open for a while now but I had been reluctant to go in. The location borders on dicey and you certainly can meet some interesting people on their stoops there but that was not the reason. I like a little spice in my food and a down home sandwich holds solid appeal. The real issue is a coworker told me the sandwiches were small and overpriced. I already have plenty of those options in the rotation (less 1 w/ the recent Guild Meat Market closing). So what brought me back around? Trusted sources at supper club got me in the mix. So this week I wandered over to give it a whirl. The place was not crowded (maybe 1 other person waiting) as I had gone early-ish. It is a a neighborhood deli/market no doubt. They have an array of necessities like PB&J, jello, paper towels, coffee filters, cheap chips. It is actually probably more useful on a regular basis than the Brick Store in Charlotte. There were a few sandwich choices but I went with the Royal Italian. You can tell a lot about a sandwich place from the Italian they produce. It was a long wait. Really long. I spent some time perusing the beer cooler which had anything from 4-Loko (thought those were illegal?) to a nice selection of upscale IPAs. It was an interesting and pretty solid fridge. I noticed several cases of Bud Ice tallboys next to the cooler which seemed a little odd. Until the slightly older petite woman came in and took down 3. It was 11:30AM. Strong to very strong start to the day. Wednesday. My sandwich finally was ready. It was pretty large and had a nice ratio of meat. Price was reasonable for the size. They did a nice job dressing it so the oil and vinegar was present but not greasy. The meat was fresh and pretty good. Veggies seemed pretty fresh. The bread was not outstanding but ok. Overall it was a pretty good sandy much in the spirit of The Pine Street Deli or a slightly up market version of the old Mad Hatter. I'd give it 1 1/4 thumbs up. It is close and I will go back.

I am not that sorry Guild Meat Market going away... great maple donut, but the sandwiches were really expensive and only ok. If I am going to pay up I prefer Mirabelle's or Stacks.

I watched this video above the other day and really liked it.

Hell Yeah I Party!!!

Hey Jay, What did you do this weekend? Anything awesome? Totally awesome!  After a day of chasing my kids around at a harvest festival filled to the brim w/ other insane kids and their wiped out parents at Shelburne Farms, we came home and gave the kids a bath. After we got them out and were drying them off my son starts saying, "poop, poop". Uh oh! I race to get a diaper on him while my wife cleans up the bathroom (oh yeah my daughter had pissed on the floor. Well, the silent assassin was not done. She snuck into our room quiet as could be and took a dump on the rug. Saturday night. Of course Sunday was also awesome, another harvest fest, this one put on by the Skinny Pancake, and another poop event. This time my son took a shit that launched out of his diaper and went all over his jammies and his legs. That was pretty fun.

I liked the SP festival, it was pretty chill and they had good food and beer. Of course because I was chasing around my kids I really was unable to talk to my friends and barely escaped them launching off the jungle gym a couple times. One other guy's kid did take a digger and he had to suffer bad parent stares while he just tried to drink a beer. I felt for him... easily could have been me. You can't manage more than one kid at a time on a playground full of other kids. Too much going on and those places are death traps.

We did see 2 pretty good movies on Netflix this weekend. Silver Linings Playbook was excellent. Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence were both very good and Bobby DeNiro even showed up with a very good performance. Great chemistry and an interesting story. 1 7/8ths thumbs up. We also watched the WWII movie Defiance. It was better than I expected. Again the actors made the movie. Leiv Schreiber and Daniel Craig were great. They both excelled as smoldery (wife's word) complex characters. The Russian accents were not so great but that was kind of fun as well. I'll give that movie 1 1/2 thumbs up.

So there you have it... like I said, awesome!

The Not So Amazing Spiderman... Part 2!

So my wife and I took a small break from cooking, cleaning, and hating our lives to watch a movie. Now, these days there is no such thing as video stores and we don't have cable so we took a spin through Apple's movie collection. I-Tunes is pretty sucky for rentals. They don't have a smooth streaming service so even renting a movie you have to wait an hour to download a 2 hour movie. Another drawback is that they have a pretty drawn out period between when movies come out and when they can be rented versus purchased. So with a limited number of choices for rental we went with the Amazing Spiderman Part 2. The first one was pretty crappy and reviews for this second one were not great so we went in with pretty low expectations. This blew through those to the downside. The two and a half hour running time was were things started getting squirrelly. Very few movies should be that long and this was not one of them. The story and the writing were very similar to what you might find in the bookstore under teen girl action/love fiction. This was all about feelings and teen angst and tons of bullshit you can access in a Nancy Drew book or One Direction song. It is a little difficult to even imagine such teen angst when the main characters who are purportedly college freshman are actually 42 years old (well maybe 30 but close enough). The "action" was super fake looking and not at all compelling. Not one character was really compelling. Andrew Garfield mailed it in worse than Robert Deniro's last few pictures. Gidget playing Aunt May was whiny and not true to character at all. The guy playing Harry Osborne some how was more creepy than James Franco and yet still played a crappy bad guy. And what the f*** was Paul Giamatti doing in it for those 32 seconds of totally unnecesary "plot". After an hour and a half I wanted to kill myself and this piece of shit just kept going. My wife looked up from the I-Pad a few times to say... "is it still going? This is maybe the worst movie I have ever seen.". That is a spot on description of this movie. It makes Daredevil seem like a true piece of art. 2 thumbs down. If you have $5 and need to get rid of it just buy a hammer at the hardware store and smash your own thumb on a table, it will be less painful and save you a couple hours.

We also spent a little time at the South Burlington Art Hop and it was pretty enjoyable. "And the Kids" was a female trio that really wailed. We thought they were really quite an enjoyable band who played a tight little rock and roll set. The new space at the Switchback Brewery is great. I go back and forth on the beer itself but check it out. The Pale Ale is a fine way to enjoy the new bar.

A special shout out to the pony tail asshole who wouldn't let me back to the patio space at Arts Riot... F*** You and you dooshy pony tail you f***ing poser. I had already gotten into the space and had my bracelet. I will give Arts Riot overall a huge 2 thumbs down for how they ended the end of the evening Friday night. They had no plan for how to wind things down and execution was a train wreck. Total amateurs. The inside space was not too bad and the bartenders inside were very much on top of their game getting drinks quickly and efficiently, so that mitigates it I suppose.

Jay About Thai Dishes

So we dropped our kids off for their first day of school/daycare. Up until this point we had a nanny so they had been primarily home throughout the day. I thought dropping them off at a new place would be traumatic but they didn't give 2 shits when I left. My son gave me a quick hug and my daughter faded me like I was a stranger! Daddy can't compete w/ a new kitchen playset and a plastic tiger. F*ing tiger. I will say this, getting up an hour earlier and making sure everyone is prepped for the day and have lunches and 32 snacks is a giant pain in the ass.

We had a little out at the Echo Center this weekend and as the kids were pretty well behaved we decided to test our luck w/ lunch. A few staples were pretty packed and not having many ideas we decided to try a new Thai place in Burlington, Thai Dishes. The space looked nice enough but we were a little alarmed that it was empty. We asked the waitress setting up tables if they were open and she said not until noon. Well, first off... it was just past noon. Secondly, who does not open for lunch service at 11 or so? Whatever, it is hard to f*** up Thai food too bad and we like empty places because we are less worried about the monsters we take around with us. A couple other tables fill in and we peruse the menu.  The well behaved kids leave quickly and we are now in a race against time. It takes the waitress forever to get around to our order but lo and behold she has given us the wrong menu anyway. "It is my first time working a weekend lunch". Yeah, I am sure that is the problem. We order fast. She brings me the wrong dish. Of course. I had already started mixing the rice in the curry so that f*d up 2 meals. We finally got our food and it was fine. The Pad Thai was adequate. The Massaman Curry was pretty good, very spicy. The kids steamed veggie dish was a bust. They liked the chicken satay but the vegetables were hard as rocks and lacked flavor so for our little ones that did not play. No problem, they ate a bunch of our food. As the mess began to take over the table and the fussing got louder it was time to wrap it up. I asked for a leftover box and the check. I got my check but never saw the leftover curry. Overall 1 thumb sideways if you are in a pinch. The service was terrible, the food is decent but overpriced. I would take the extra 10 minutes and cruise over to Tiny Thai. But then I wouldn't have anything new to write about so f*** it!

BTW, I am very upset about my nudie pics w/ Jennifer Lawrence coming out so please take it easy and don't stare.

Jay Jay Jay... What the F***?!

Well, if you check in from time to time you have probably noticed my prolonged absence. I suppose it is a lack of motivation? I have been travelling and been to plenty of different places and tried different thins but I just can't seem to figure out what excites me to write shit down? I am kind of bored of most of the blogs I have been reading and got pretty bored of my own thing.  There used to be fun stuff to think about and snarky quips to lay down but now most of the good stuff happens on the fly in real time and does not translate well to a story.  More of a had to be there type situation. I was also becoming acutely aware of how whiny I was starting to sound. I was belaboring the point. Of course my kids poop their pants. Of course most people have access to thousand pound pieces of metal when they can barely walk and talk at the same time. Sure, service in VT generally sucks. Without a doubt the mayor of Burlington is a freeloader (saw him all over town today not working). But why keep pounding the same nail?  WHY?!

So what will you do to get back on top Jay? Kill a hobo? Poop in the shower? Watch a Julia Roberts movie? F*** No!  I will get back to the basics. Reviews, stupid pictures, silly videos, maybe some sports talk? I have Rick Rubin in the mix and he has stripped my sound down so I can get right to the heart of my talent (it is immense so was easy to find).

Cafe Shelburne. My special lady and I had my mother in town so we took a chance on date night last week. Hey, how about keeping it local? We had had a cocktail but never gone full monty at the recently revamped CS. Well, the first sign of impending disaster was probably the fact it was empty on a Thursday night around 7:30PM. Seriously, there were only 2 other occupied tables... and 2 total (including ours) when we left. Secondly, revamped is a pretty strong term... while there is new ownership the space has not been updated at all... probably since 1972. Old industrial carpet, dated furniture and curtains stolen from my grandparents. Whatever, let's get to the food. Maybe. For only 3 tables and 2 servers the service was incredibly slow. I was thinking about a martini but realizing they did not have a bartender and our waitress was 19 I thought better of it and ordered a beer. It was cold and pretty fresh so good choice. We then ordered a couple apps and 2 pasta dishes. The mushroom toast was ok but a little dry. The salad was fine. The pastas were ok as well. I had gnocchi and it was unremarkable. Like I don't really remember if it was pork or beef (maybe lamb) and it was a throw away dish. Not literally they should throw it away but it was forgettable. My lady had a nice pesto tagliatelle. It was good but as she noted she could have made it at home to the same effect. We skipped desert. So it was a beefy bill for so so food. They could use an update to the space but where does that cash come from? The service needs to pick up, that can be easily fixed. I would also get a pub menu in the mix. How about smaller plates like a burger or something and bring in the under 85 crowd to hang and enjoy an mid-upscale bar experience without feeling like you are eating in the 40s? 1 thumb barely sideways.

2 recent canings from the Fiddlehead Brewery of note. The Second Fiddle and the Mastermind. Both are double IPAs. It amazes me how these guys do it... the flagship IPA has really come into its own and is often my go to around town. These special offerings are ok but they charge Heady Topper prices for a weak imitation. But that said, lines form and folks buy cases of them so maybe it is me who is crazy. The Fiddlehead beers tend to be a rounder flavor profile that smacks you in the face less than Toppers. In a blind taste test at the office they were preferred by one or two folks who liked a less intense experience in their beer. To me I get more apricot than the Topper citrus notes. They are both pretty good and if more reasonably priced I might say very good. I prefer the Mastermind. To me it has a lighter cleaner taste and at 12oz vs 16 it holds up well start to finish. The heavy booze but less intense Second Fiddle gets pretty not great by the bottom of the can, it would benefit from a smaller can as it is best at a colder temp. I have a bunch of both beers though and have been knocking back MMs regularly. I like the space and the scene over there and the folks behind the bar are pretty good right now so if you are in the area go check it out.

So there you have it, I will try to see what else I can think about and keep this thing a little more lively.

Bonus Post!!! Germany 7 - Brazil 1?!?!

I haven't seen somebody shit their pants that bad since... well, since this morning, my kids crap their pants super bad everyday. But a professional soccer team? Brazil started the game with pretty solid intensity and really controlled play. Soon, Germany took back the momentum and scored. It was an ok goal even though Brazil decided that they for some reason did not need to mark The Germans' best player in the box. Whatever, it happens. I hopped out to cruise up the street and meet friends to watch the rest of the game. In the 5 minute walk I saw another German score in the window of Manhattan's Pizza and missed another one. What was going on? I sat down and ordered a beer.  Bam Bam!! 2 more super easy goals. The Brazilian team rolled over like a dog on a dead animal carcass. It was embarrassing. They looked like they just didn't care. It would be one thing if that was Costa Rica, or Greenland or something but Brazil?  In their home country? 2 more goals in the second half before a meaningless gimme for Brazil in injury time. What a weird weird game. Easily one of the worst defended games I have ever seen and the midfielders must have been on the sideline rocking a caipirinha and huffing butts. Germany is good, will be interesting to see how good against a team that puts up a fight.

On another note, the bar at Veritas pizza is really a quite pleasant place to have a drink. Good beer selection, competent bar tender, nice set up. The garage door was open and a nice breeze was flowing in. They also have a special Long Trail beer on tap that is a mix of the Limbo and Double Bag beers. Deadly. I'll give a thumb and a half and certainly go back.

Serenity Now!!!

Yesterday was quite a clusterf***. My kind nearly decapitated herself, I had to have an unpleasant conversation w/ an employee, I had to make nice w/ an old boss... but by far, the absolute rock bottom was my trip to the DMV! F*** the DMV!!!  My birthday is coming up in a few days and my license is about to run out so I went for what should have been a pretty simple task of renewing a license. First off, there are 3 types of licenses you can get here in VT. One is utterly useless, one is normal, and one is ridiculous overkill. Even for the normal one I was getting, I needed more forms of identification than required to purchase a human being. If you have your old ID and it has your picture shouldn't that be enough? It is the DMV, they probably should be able to sniff out a fake no? And it is not like I am a 16yr old trying to fake my way into buying beer or a terrorist working my way towards a pilot's license. I am a medium height (I swear) balding white man just trying to drive a car without the fuzz getting on my case. So I get there early afternoon and wait in the info line to get a number so I can wait for my next line. A guy comes over to complain to information lady that no "C"s have been called out in like 45 minutes. Not only are there numbers but also letters. One woman w/ 2 patient but losing patience kids has number B106. She is f***. The info. lady explains only a few people at the DMV can handle C issues and they should be coming back from lunch soon, she then in an amazing act takes her break so another info lady can get in the mix. It is 1:30pm mind you. I get D38. Whatever that means. So now there is mad C guy, a disheveled woman yelling about her 30 days of sobriety and her long wait to probably get her license back, a weird kid talking to an old lady about church retreats and the new minister, getting fussy kids, and the rest of the assorted cast of characters in an absolutely packed space. I get a seat and start my wait. It feels like forever. Finally I get called after an hour and make my way to stall 10. The guy takes my various forms of ID and goes to copy them. He then hands me back the form he needs and forgets to give me back my W2. We shuffle paper for a bit. He asks if that is my real signature? Why would I fake it? Is that a real thing, faking your signature at the DMV? I say yes and show him my old license to prove it. We go back and forth a bit. I make a joke about being a doctor, he doesn't get it. I am quickly discovering why it takes so long to get anything done at the DMV... there is a large brain suck going on there. I then go to get my picture taken. Of course he has to comment on my straight face. Hey, my old license picture looks like a mug shot. I want the cops to fear me when they pull me over! So I then go back to wait for the license to print out. Of course this also takes forever because some old guy is dominating information lady and won't go sit the f*** down so the line to get their number/print out is getting longer and longer. And the morons at the DMV can't figure out how to form a line so it goes 5 deep then becomes an amoebic mess at the wall like the band in the alley in Animal House.

Finally I get the license and after 1hr 45m I get out. At Starbucks I order an ice coffee and in a state of near catatonia I knock the whole thing over on the counter reaching for the milk. I am an idiot. The barista was very nice. DMV, you get 2 thumbs way down. Starbucks, 2 thumbs up on this day.

Kind of felt like this actually...

Yeah, I just don't even know

Went to my 20th yr high school reunion this weekend and it was something. People were pleasant, it was pretty well attended. Very chill. My kids meanwhile were running everywhere, climbing stairs, banging into shit. I caught my son eating some kids chips and stealing money from my friend's bag. Good boy.Several people were surprised to see me and thought I had dropped off the grid. Not an accident!

I have enjoyed the World Cup and will keep on watching when I can. That said, the American team is just not that good. They really aren't. Dempsy was ok and Tim Howard had some transcendent games... but the back four was flat and did not mark well. Midfielders were not good tracking back and finding marks leaving defenders often over matched on numbers. Bradley was just plain awful. People can make all the excuses they want for him but he turned the ball over on every other possession and you can't have that from your primary play maker. We just don't have those clever play makers that have an imagination for the game. Takes time and desire I guess. Still, pretty fun with everyone getting into it.

Not sure what I have between now and the long weekend so here you go!

NSFW



Very SFW!!!

Jay About Queen City Brewery

This weekend I met up w/ pals LB and DG to continue my recent tour of the 193759475 new breweries in Vermont. This week's entry was the Queen City Brewery on Pine Street in Burlington. This one has been percolating for some time... the sign popped up months ago and it has been in the news for awhile but they finally opened a couple weeks ago. I can see why the delay, this was one of the biggest operations I have seen. They are much bigger than the other start ups I have recently visited and are much bigger even than Switchback was when I visited the early 00's and even Hill Farmstead before the recent renovations. Interesting it is such a large operation for a brewery with no retail bar and a tough road against all of the other competitors out there? The space itself is nice. Housed in an industrial building behind an old dry cleaning business they have that rustic industrial look down, complete w/ a old Ford (I think) hauled up on a platform 20 feet above the bar. The horseshoe shape bar is a pretty good size to accommodate the tasting crowd. They have about 20 taps for their 4 beers. Seriously. But the presentation is nice, they are nice cleanly branded glasses in homemade wood blocks. The beer itself is pretty good. We tried two Belgians, an amber and traditional that were a little thin but pretty solid. There was an ESB that was not my favorite but the style in general is not my favorite. They also had a porter I liked and brought a mini growler back to the homestead. Overall, it was a friendly and clean scene but lacking much character. The beer was similar. I liked it fine but not as much as 4 Qtrs. in the 'Noosk. Check it out but manage your expectations. If you like the Old World type beers like for instance, an ESB you might dig it, if you like hoppy delights... well, you may like it because new things are fun and they have a good attitude. I'll be curious to see how they do getting it out there in the crowded space? 1 thumb up.

We stopped at Frannie O's and watched a bit of soccer afterwards. It was excellent in a hilarious way.

World War Z... well, the parts I stayed awake for were a giant pile of useless poop. Shitty movie. 1 thumb down.

Jay About X-Men... Days of blah blah blah

So I gave myself a pre-father's day gift the other day and went to the movies. It was pretty pleasant. I had no one to look after, chase, entertain... my kids were not there either (just kidding). So I only had a limited window and the one movie I wanted to see that fit the window was X-Men. Sorry Gojira. Generally, I like super hero movies, the X-Men, and I quite enjoyed the last one and the recent reboot. That unfortunately led me into this movie w/ lofty expectations. Well, the movie was fine and entertaining enough but it was not great. There were too many characters, the villain situation was not compelling, and it was just convoluted as a story. I doubt I would watch it again. I liked Superman better. So, suck it Marvel nerds. I would still give it a thumb up, it was fine and enjoyable as a big theater movie. Good gift to myself I guess.

Father's Day itself? Well, mine are young. It is all work everyday. They fussed all morning to the point a lunch out was off the table. We got sandwiches for a picnic on a delightful summer day. My son and daughter grabbed the pickles and gummed the shit out of them while running around the yard splashing in a bucket of old water or tossing around dirt in the herb garden. I deconstructed a sandwich for them to eat. Instead, they sauntered over to my lady and I and tore into ours making a giant mess and just chowing on the bread. My wife had to pound her wine so they would not steal it and I was playing constant defense on my beer. The coup de grace was when my little girl brought over a bucket of dirt and tossed the last decent half sandwich in it. I love my kids, they are real pissers. I think my mother likes this little bit of karma. The day improved as it wore on. They cheered up and we played a bit.

Another quick review... the "Toot" book by Leslie Patricelli. My kids love it and so do I. My wife thinks it is slightly uncouth. 2 thumbs up... toot toot!

Jay About Citizen Cider... and Switchback

It's a two-fer! Why the f*** not?!?! So anywho, it was a sunny day last Friday and we decided to check out the new Citizen Cider tasting room on Pine Street. I would be the first to admit that while I like some cider products ok, and some very much, it is never my go to drink. When I was in college we went to England, you ordered cider at the end of the night because it cost half as much as beer so it was a good way to extend your pound and your buzz. Next was the Woodchuck cider movement. I think that stuff is pretty gross. But then farmers up here realized it was more profitable to sell booze than to host apple picking and we started to get some nice drier, more nuanced offerings. Still, I am a beer guy.

So how about Citizen Cider? Their flagship the Unified Press is fine, a little sweet. I have had a couple of the other ones and they were also too sweet. So why go to the recently opened bar/tasting room? Because I am willing to keep an open mind and I love a tasting room!  The space looks suspect from the outside but inside it is a beautiful light and airy retro industrial space. Nice long bar and open areas to mingle, or chill and sip cider. Of course besides the 8 or so ciders on tap they also have a decent booze selection with some very nice high end choices and a few beers on tap. And food. We started w/ a flight of 5. You get to choose your mix which is nice. I passed on ones I knew were not for me and went w/ the more esoteric and and drier options. I thought the Stan was really nice... dry, not very sweet, and almost champagne like w/ a more bready thing going on. I also thought the Northern Spy and the Dirty Mayor were very solid. The Dirty Mayor was a little sweeter but the ginger really kept it on the up and up. We shared a hot pretzel, it was pretty good. The coup de grace was the cider w/ the bourbon back. The key was mixing the bourbon right in with the cider, in my case the Stan. It made for an exceptional cocktail. A little sweet, boozy, a little old man-esque, slightly fizzy. Just a nice summertime drink. Makes me want one right now! Fun time, I will be back.

I stopped by quickly to check out the new Switchback storefront. While still under construction it also was a nice clean wood, steel, and glass space that makes for a nice tasting experience. I nice young woman was pouring beers behind the temporary bar space and was quite knowledgeable about the beers and process. A buddy's sister G was working and she stopped by to give me the straight poop on the new space and how the brewery was doing in general, great additional color. I had sort of gotten over the whole Switchback phenomena a couple years ago. The unfiltered ale was good but I always got pretty banged up and then my stomach was a mess. Going to the brewery though the fresh from the tap Brown was subtle and really quite nice. The pale ale was refreshing on the hot day and also pretty darn good. I even enjoyed the red ale which I don't always love (red ales in general). Overall, I enjoyed the beers and the experience. I can get back in that mix from time to time. Another spot I will return to without a doubt.

Is it a problem that I liked both places and they are on my way home? I suppose that depends who you ask!

Just trying to get a f*ing haircut?!

So I don't have a ton of hair... it is pretty easy to get it done. I get my head shaved w/a #2 attachment and it should take about 15 minutes. My wife won't do it and I can't quite do it myself but out and about it is usually pretty cheap. So I am pretty shaggy and decided to try and get it done Wed., around 1:30. Middle of the week, a workday, should be pretty easy to get it done. I cruised by Main Street Barbers. Packed. Like 4-5 people waiting for 3 barbers. Shit. I walked away. I called over to check in on Bugatti on Battery St. The woman put me on perma hold. I went back to the office and after half an hour or so I tried again. Still packed at Main Street. I mean, I was skipping out on work... didn't the rest of these people have jobs?! So I tried Bugs again. They said it was the grand opening and they were doing walk ins, very short wait. First off, grand opening? They have been open for like a year. I have been there several times over the last few months. Whatever, I go over and I am the only one waiting while two ya-yos are getting cuts. One guy is getting his pompadour cut and won't shut the f*** up about his various jobs at local bars or whatever. The other guy is also getting a fancy cut and seems like he has never gotten his hair cut before. Anyway, I read mags and wait forever while the chatting and cuts get done. I finally get in the chair and some tall skinny fat guy w/ a terrible mustache and a bow tie asks me how I heard about them? I said in an annoyed voice... "I have gotten my hair cut here a bunch of times." He says well, he has never seen me. Well, I guess you don't work during the lunch hour, probably too busy trimming and waxing your dirt stache? I ask how they can have a grand opening a year after they actually opened. Apparently they now have everything just how they want it and are celebrating. The only difference between now and the actual opening that I could see was a couple pieces of art, dirt stache, and higher prices. Needless to say our conversation pretty much ended there. Good. It was a good cut but they then jammed me for $20. Used to be $15. Is going up to $25 next week. So long Bugatti... you just opened for the second time and I will not be going back.

So here is a weird thing. Apparently Jonah Hill got harassed by paparazzi until he snapped and hurled a homophobic slur at the photog. I am no stranger to such comments. I am trying to get better about all types of degrading comments like that because they are not fair but I have used such a slur before. So here is the question... I work closely w/ 2 men and a woman and was thinking about inappropriate joking. Has there ever been a case in bro culture or otherwise where you thought about using a derogatory homophobic term directed at a woman? So you say to a guy... "don't be gay", or in Jonah Hill's case, "suck my dick faggot". Would you ever say to a woman, "don't be gay"? Would a woman say to a woman... well, I am not going to write it so you can fill in the blanks but think of the equivalent to Jonah's taunt. I am not saying homosexual women do not get their share of abuse, but is the use of these kinds of digs beyond a sex thing and almost a gender role question? Is it more acceptable for a woman to bend gender roles than it is for a man in the current society parameters? Then again, there are dudes who are convinced women are gay and tell them such if their advances are spurned so maybe women in general are more advanced than men... well, at least when it comes to how they denigrate other people. And a better question, is this all too deep for this blog which generally just shits on barber shops and discusses my great love for Reubens?

When we return on JAT, Existential humor... everybody is a little funny, now you you funny too. Don't go away.

Jay About Worthy Burger... and More!!!

Big weekend for the Bird's! My folks graciously offered to take the kids for a night so my special lady and I could go on a date. Boy did we take advantage!  First stop was lunch at Worthy Burger in South Royalton. These guys have been getting a ton of press lately and are considered by some to produce the best burger in VT.  High praise. Well, S.R. is a little off the run. The Vermont law school is there and we used to go up and routinely beat up on them in high school sports. Otherwise there is really no reason to stop. Until now. The place itself is just off the main square in what looks like an old warehouse. It is a cool industrial space with screened in deck and interior seating. You order at the bar and when your buzzer rings you pick up your food. They have a nice selection of high quality beers including some harder to find local stuff like the Hill Farmstead What is Enlightenment. We ordered Parmesan truffle fries, my wife got a veggie burger and I went w/ the standard burger w/ caramelized onions, cheddar, and bacon. Hey, it was really good. The burger was nicely cooked medium rare and quite juicy. Well cooked bacon, chunk of cheddar, great soft bun. It was really good. The veggie burger was also quite nice, well, according to my lady... she did not give me a bite. The fries were pretty good and not overly truffley or fake tasting. Decent price point and lots of pretty solid condiment choices. We walked out with the only complaint being there were too MANY fries. Is that really a complaint? She suggested 2 thumbs up as there was almost all right and no wrong. I reserve that for the perfect cheer so I will say 1 8/9th thumbs up! Best burger in VT? I will have to think about that one but it was pretty darn good and is certainly in the running.

Next stop was a quick beer at the Three Penney Taproom in Montpelier. Good beer, fun scene, solid service. I think it is a great place for a beer, never had a bad time there. My favorite moments were the skinny guy w. the suitcase walk and the all white outfit. He was a pretty good character. Not as good as the older gentleman in all denim w/ the cowboy hat and boots. This is VT and it was 70 degrees outside (denim jacket?). What really made it though was when he did not get in the pickup truck but instead squeezed into the prius to slowly drift off w/out a sound over yonder!

Last but not least was an evening w/ friends at Duino Duende. It was a last minute decision on food but a good one. We started off just grabbing a drink in the attached Radio Bean and watching a great 3 piece band. It is Jazzfest this week in Burlington. The little band; Miriam Bernardo, Michael Chorney, Rob Morse Trio was very cool and super sexy. I also really enjoyed the vibe and my Sazerac. I had not been in Radio Bean in awhile but it is still very cool, in a older hip kind of gets it VT way. Too cool for me on a regular basis. We then popped over next door for the "International Street Food" experience. This place has been around for years and I have never ventured in, my mistake. Also a very hip scene. We ordered a few beers and settled in for more jazz and pleasant conversation. It was a happening scene but not too loud to chat. We started with pretty tasty fried tomatillos and a Puerto Rican chicken skewer. I then had the spicy Korean Beef tacos. I agreed w/ my pal JG they were a little sweet but the tortilla was nice, the beef was pretty well cooked and the had nice mellow heat. Overall it was pretty cheap and pretty tasty. 1 1/2 thumbs up, maybe 3/4 for the additional scene Saturday night. The second band C Local was also very cool.

We finished up ad Red Square. There was this band that looked like a bunch of college nerds who were having way too much fun. The short sax player was hilarious. If he tried to look like he was having a better time his little head might have exploded. Then there was the guitar/singer who looked like a 15yr old version of Russel from Almost Famous. I kept wondering when he and his striped pants and scruffy mustache would ditch the rest of his uncool band for a solo "career". Whatever, they were entertaining enough... except for that "this is the 90s" song... don't ever play that steaming pile of shit again. Seriously.

Big night out... until 11:30PM!  2 thumbs way up!!!!

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Hey, it was Memorial Day Weekend!

We cruised on down to the in-laws for a long weekend in the Berkshires. It was nice. Driving w/ my kids sucks but what can you do... apparently we do not have teleporting technology yet. The great thing about a long drive is that my kids sleep for maybe an hour and then all hell breaks loose. We try to feed them, we sing until we run out of songs (5), and then my wife climbs in the back to wedge herself between car seats and try to entertain. When we got there the kids were great. They chased the cat around the house pointing and screaming. Screaming! We went to a fantastic dance party my sister in law put together. I saw a fat couple absolutely rocking the dance floor. One chick puked on the bar and promptly faded out. The bar tender swept in out of nowhere and scooped the girl up whisking her out the back door... never to be seen again. Seriously, that girl might be in the swamps of Jersey or Guantanamo Bay right now.  Did I mention that the bartender was a 30 some odd year old woman who did the amazing power lift. It was impressive. We rocked out to some songs I don't know and ghosted out. We also hung w/ my brother in law and his family including the beautiful newborn baby girl. They also have a son who is very intelligent and know what a hairy woodpecker is as opposed to a red breasted woodpecker. He is not even 3. He also had a haircut that looked like terraced fields in China. Apparently young boys get restless quickly. Who knew?! I mean my son gets distracted by a dog barking a mile away.

We were able to get out for a meal at the Prairie Whale. It was really quite nice. The oysters were very crisp and flavorful w/ a great mignonette. The radishes on toast w/ marrow butter were decadent and delicious, and the citrus salad was off the hook w/ perfectly delicate de-pithed grapefruit on lightly dressed greens. The main course might have been my least favorite, a nice but not special brisket. Good, but other stuff was very good. The owner/host Mark Firth was super nice and accommodating and even remembered us when we saw him at the farmer's market the next day. That is a true host my friends.

Our other eating experience was w/ the kids at the Pit Stop in Granville, NY. Hey, it was perfect. You eat outside, the food was as expected from a roadside stand, and it was cheap. The bacon on my BLT was crisp as was the side pickle (did not smell funny). It was what we needed at that moment. My son kept walking over to the neighboring picnic table, laughing and then walking away, and then walking over and getting closer, and then doing it all over again. Funny kid.

So all in all, it was a nice little weekend. Oh yeah, I laid down a shock and awe campaign at the house. When I got home there were 4 dead mice and 2 traps that the mice had escaped from. Gross, but effective.

Alert! Silver German Luxe (semi) cars terrorizing Charlotte VT!!!!!!

So there is a thing around here called "Front Porch Forum". Depending on the town it ranges from neighborly posting on local events, musings, and services wanted type stuff to snarky shots at people not picking up their dog's poop. I am not actually on it but my wife is. She alerted me to the fact I had made the forum! How? Good question.

The other day, I played golf w/ a colleague and then headed over to a house in Charlotte to meet my realtor and look at a farmhouse that was for sale. I was late but still the first person there. It is right on a pretty main road, and there neighbor across the street was outside mowing the front lawn. It was 4pm or so. After waiting awhile I saw a lurky person in the window peering out at me. Not wanting to seem weird or make them feel uncomfortable I decided to go to the door and tell them who I was and why I was there. A woman in her 60s/70s opened the door a sliver and asked who I was. I explained the scene and she said she was unaware of a showing... I better call my agent. Oh yeah? No shit Sherlock... I was going to keep waiting in your driveway a while and make it super weird. Freak. Anyway, I called my agent and she was at the wrong house and had f*d the whole thing up. Whatever, it was a FUBAR but it happens, so I fired up the car and drove home. Case closed right? Wrong.

On the heels of a post concerning an apparently sketchy Silver BMW w/ tinted windows (probably a minority!) I was lit up as a sketchy character in a silver Audi lurking around.  A further post suggested calling the cops on such occasions. Now, I know how intimidating a short bald dude in gold attire driving an Audi is so I get it. Frankly, I was going to rob that old woman but it is hard to fit the good stuff between the car seats and I had too many strollers in the trunk to access that either?!

My wife said this is the kind of thing that only happens to me. I suppose that is true. Well, me and the person in the silver BMW.

Cinco de Mayo... Ugh

How did I party on May 5th?  Well, let me tell you! I cruised home early because my nanny had to leave. Kids were fussy. I had a sour stomach so I had to crap a bunch of times. Upstairs of course because my 1st floor bathroom was busted. That was my big win of the night, I fixed said toilet! Boom!!! One beer and a bunch of dished done later I settled on the couch w/ leftover soup and a turkey sandwich to watch TV. Now that is a hot night right?

So we were at a really fun 20's party at Shelburne Farms the other night and I had a Trout River Red Ale. It was terrible. Really terrible. My other choice was slightly less terrible Rock Art White Tail ale. It was a great night and very well done but the beer selection was tough. I moved to Citizen Cider (which I almost never do) and it was not too bad.

On the flip side, my pal LB busted out an Alchemist Beelzebub and it was really good. Smooth, luscious, a hint of coffee and chocolate. I like hops so I didn't mind their presence. Big fan here... wish they had more around.

So this was a fun post huh?  Somebody give me some inspiration... I am in a rut!

Jay About Captain America: the Winter Soldier

So I had a little time to myself the other day and decided to hit up a movie. I was running errands in Williston so that seemed like as good a place as any to grab lunch and a movie. I stopped quickly at the bar of  Mcgillicuddys and grabbed a beer and a Reuben. They have their house corned beef and as it is an Irish themed place I decided to take a run at it. Delicious actually. The corned beef was flavorful and seemed real almost like mom used to make. Melty thousand island dressing and sauerkraut made the whole thing a hit. Service was very solid and the prices were reasonable. There are also like 48 TVs so watching a game is no problem. If you find yourself in the food wasteland of Williston and are looking for a bite, feel free to give this place a run. http://www.mcgillicuddysirishalehouse.com/

Next Stop, Captain America. I really liked it. I like comic book movies, sue me. To be fair I did not really care for the first Captain America movie and the character in general is not one of my favorites. That said this second one was packed w/ action and the story was pretty reasonable. People may talk it up like a big espionage thriller but set the bar realistically... this is no Tom Clancy special. It has a few predictable twists but the predictability does not take away from a fun movie. I liked Robert Redford and Scarlett Johansen and even Chris Evans. Do I wish the bad guy had not been Chaz in Hot Tub Time Machine? Sure, and he has a giant forehead but whatever. 1 2/3rds thumbs up. See it on the big screen, do yourself that solid.

On the flipside of the movie coin is Anchorman 2 which I rented last night. I loved the first Anchorman and I like that type of dumb humor. I was willing to like any facsimile of the original. This movie however sucked balls. It was in fact one of the worst most unfunny movies I have ever seen. I fast forwarded through part of the second half and would have bailed all together if I had not paid $5 for the pleasure of a warm dump on my TV. They went too far making caricatures of caricatures. It did not work and jokes were not funny. The performances were mailed in, the story was not clever. Even the anchor fight scene fell flat. The only redeeming quality was Paul Rudd doing his Brian Fantana which was close to humorous. Close. 2 huge thumbs down. Don't even bother if it is free.

It's a Sports Post!

I suppose I could talk about how we sort of celebrated Easter but that really just comprised of the kids tearing up baskets (which they really enjoyed), eating dirt, and us not dressing up enough?! It was a nice day and I am thankful for that.

What I am actually going to spout off about is a recent comparison of Lebron James to Larry Bird. An ESPN personality I don't actually have too much respect for, Jemele Hill was the Lebron proponent. She talked up his athletic ability and scoring prowess as well as his basketball IQ and defensive abilities. Michael Smith took the Larry Legend side and did a shitty job of it basically saying "because I said so". It was a crappy ill prepared debate which I have come to expect at ESPN.

Now I tend to think athletes just keep getting better because science, training, and experience help us revise our games and bodies. Old timers can say what they want but Shaq would absolutely destroy Russell and Wilt the same way Lebron would dominate the 70s and maybe even the 80s. Bird was a pretty big dude in his day playing a solid power forward at 6'9" 220lbs. Lebron is a 2 guard at 6'8" 250!  30 more pounds and it is all muscle. So yeah, put a guy now back in time they probably dominate the game... but that does not make them better in context. Why is it that Shaq gets no respect for his gaudy numbers? Pundits say his game was limited and he only dominated because of his freakish physical abilities. Is that not the case w/ Lebron?

Now Bird and James have incredibly similar stats. Lebron scores more but Bird was a better rebounder. They had similar shooting stats and assists. This is where Bird comes out as a more complete player though... Bird could score all over the court. He shot 20pts better from 3 point land and 140pts better from the free throw line. He took long jumpers, short jumpers, could scrap under the rim... Lebron dunks. That was Jemele's argument, that he is devastating taking it to the basket. Agreed... but that is such a limited skill. San Antonio is figuring it out and so is Indiana, pack the lane. That is how you defend Lebron, pack the lane. He cannot shoot consistently from beyond 8 feet. Bird could shoot from your living room.

Does Lebron defend better? Yeah one on one but that is a mark of increased athleticism. It counts but does not trump all. How about the fact the league now has more teams and generally watered down talent comparatively due to expansion and lack of skill gleaned in college? Sure, Bird played w/ McHale, Parrish, and DJ... but he played against Magic, Kareem, and Worthy. Or Dr. J, Moses, and Barkley. Or Isiah, Dumars, and Rodman.  Lebron has Wade and Bosh and plays against... Durant, Westbrook and whoever else they have. or 82 year old Tim Duncan and the international team. Not exactly the same thing.

AT the end of the day you may take Lebron because he has evolution on his side. I would probably take Lebron, Jordan, Shaq, Durant, and Duncan... but are they really contextually better than Russell, Magic, Bird, Jordan, and Wilt? F*** no. So here are the Lebron dunk highlights vs the Bird I do everything highlights. Enjoy.  OH, Lebron is a better flopper. Bird don't flop for no one.

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Jay About Myrtle Beach

Snowed last night. Was 24 degrees. It is April 16th. Was 70+ degrees less than 48 hours ago. F*** me.

So this past weekend we had our big golf trip and the location this year was Myrtle Beach. Ever been to Myrtle Beach? It is a dump. But in a good way. Well, in a way. Our hotel was inexpensive and on a wide stretch of beach w/ a beautiful view. We had a couple nice meals and there was accessible golf everywhere. That said the hotel across the street had rooms for $28/night and that seemed overpriced. Everyone had tattoos that will soon be unrecognizable. We did not get the memo but apparently the dress code in MB is tank top and basketball shorts (for either sex). We shopped at Mammy's grocery which had a vending machine outside. It was pink w/ a mostly nude "model" adorning the apparatus. You could choose 3 products... Destiny Sky, Haven Rae, and Juicy Dee. The product in question? An energy drink called "Some Poosie". I am not f*ing kidding.

Here are the highlights... Duffy's at the Bowery. Duffy's was great. It really was. I had a burger that was delicious, well cooked, real beef, and huge. It was pretty much a perfect restaurant burger. I also really enjoyed Herschell's jalapeno mac n' cheese bites. They were fantastically disgusting. We were served by "ladies" wearing Confederate flag T-shirts and serenaded by an awesome collection of talent doing karaoke (including a biker crooner, a pregnant woman, a potential ax murderer, and an older woman who insisted we cherish these moments). Oh yeah, this was apparently the home of the band Alabama... which makes a ton of sense.   http://www.thebowery.com/history/

Another highlight was the 2nd Ave Pier restaurant. Sitting up on the beach w/ commanding views of the ocean and the sunset it was actually pretty good. The rum punch special was gross but after that things turned up. The hush puppies were not too greasy and had nice flavor and consistency. I had a grouper reuben and it was really pretty darn good. Fun place for the family or a bunch of hung over dudes. http://secondavenuepier.com/menu/dinner/

A couple side notes... while the Bayview Resort hotel had a nice location... the rooms were not awesome the elevators (there were 3) took forever to get up and down and the "lazy river" was a dirty looking little revolving cesspool about the size of my garden shed.

If you need a round of putt putt golf, a towel and $6.99 Tiger sweatshirt, sweet tea, scooter rental, bacterial infection, or waffle house... you can find them in Myrtle Beach.

Legends Golf? 3 courses, reasonable prices, nice add-ons like a free beer and sandwich. There were cranky and busted up old "ladies" w/ fake boobs serving beers and attitude in the heavily packed bar. The place was like a factory w/ a million guys hovering around the starting agent like they were waiting on an airline to board before their zone had been called. The courses themselves were pretty fun. We all really like Heathland, Parkland was a nice starter course to get the weekend going... Mooreland was a pain in the ass. Especially when it is hot, you are not a great golfer, and you are so hung over you don't even sweat until the 9th hole.

So there you have it... Myrtle beach.

This is fun

Been awhile since I have read a more personal attack in print... and one that is so completely off base. I am not a John Calipari fan and I am not sure he would be a good pro coach so don't jump on me as a bandwagon guy.  That said, take a spin through this piece of shit... http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/-college-basketball-mens-tournament/news/20140408/kentucky-wildcats-connecticut-huskies-john-calipari/?eref=sihp

OK, so a guy who has a National Championship on his resume and just took a 7 seed full of freshman to the finals got totally out coached and exposed that as an ongoing flaw? I would think a guy as successful as Calipari has been could coach a bit no?  I might also submit that UConn had a magical run and made a lot of teams look bad. Should Calipari teams focus more on free throws?  Obviously, but like the 90s UNLV teams, these guys are freak athletes who are meant to attack and play a flow game, not shoot it out at the line. I also enjoyed the line about how the NBA is not a place for me first ego coaches. Like, Phil Jackson (he stunk for years) or Mike D'Antoni, or Mark Jackson, or Doc Rivers.  No, no, they want "coaches like Boston's Brad Stevens, Memphis' Dave Joerger and Philadelphia's Brett Brown". 

Yeah, those guys from the worst teams in the league or underachieving Memphis are killing it. Who wouldn't want more of that? 

Calipari did not stop the clock at the end to make the Huskies shoot pressure free thows. Well, it could be argued a team that shot 10-10 might be better pressured into tough jumpers over longer players. Whatever, Pete Thamel most likely picked Kentucky to win and lost money on the game. Just don't be so petty Pete. You are a bad writer who has never learned English and should probably not even be writing for a high school paper. You are also a bad dresser and your breath smells. Personal attacks are bush league.

Hey, Jay... Where you been?!?!

Sick and whiny town.  I can review the pediatrician, taking temperatures, children's Tylenol, high pitched screaming... I have been a little spent I suppose. One quick review, Martin Scorcese's The Wolf of Wall Street, starring Leo Dicrappio.  Here are a few of my in place biases, I like Scorcese movies, I enjoy a little sex, a little drugs, and a little violence. I also think Leo is the new Kevin Costner, a so so actor that gets excellent roles. I recently read the Jordan Belfort autobiography and looked forward to the movie. It was not that good. For one, it did not really follow some crucial elements of the book. It made Belfort look goofy like he was somehow not aware of what he was doing and was maybe even sticking it to the rich elite. Even his own story acknowledged he was a pretty bad guy and a crook who f*d over a lot of people. The story also screwed over other characters who might have been jerks but did not deserve even shabbier treatment. It also seemed to gloss over some of the really more crucial parts of the story? Finally, this was like a reverse Harry Potter problem... Belfort is a short guy and that plays a big role in his identity. Leo is pretty tall and stood over most of the other folks in the movie. I suppose it was an ok movie but not great. I also thought Leo was not good in it and I am glad he did not win an Oscar. So there. 1 thumb up.

Aside from that, I recently re watched Man of Steel and I enjoyed it. I also liked Costner in a bit role. I find that about a lot of actors. They get big roles and it is not the right thing for them. Do I like crusty but heartwarming supporting actor Costner? Yes. Do I like 45 hours of western horse riding Costner? F*** NO!

Finally above freezing here. And raining. 1 thumb down.

Jay About Infinity Brewing

On Track... Shit... I still belong to On Track. Everyday I think I will go to another gym. Just about as dirty as that hotel too



No clean towels, mildew, no hot water...

I digress, on Saturday I met up with my buddy LB at Infinity Brewing in South Burlington w/ my son in tow. Is it bad to bring my kid to a beer tasting? What am I... a doctor? I don't know. They are small pours and the 4 together were about equal to a full beer. There are seemingly thousands of now microbreweries opening all over Vermont. I like beer so it is kind of fun. I had not tried (nor ever seen) the beers from Infinity. The brewery is in a small manufacturing business out behind the airport on Ethan Allen Drive. It was small and clean w/ a little pour room and a brewing operation w/ 4 tanks or so. One oddity was they seemed to have more merchandise than beer. There was a whole wall of T-shirts, hats, mugs, etc... but they only have 4 beers. There is a Golden Ale, a Dubbel Ale, a Red Ale, and a Red IPA. All of them had a ton of alcohol. The lowest was the IPA clocking in at 5.8% and the golden which is usually the easy drinker was a whopping 7.7%. I could have used a coat hook or something as the tasting room is pretty sparse w/ just 2 tabletops and the small bar. The people were friendly though and it was as I said, clean. The beers themselves were ok. I liked the golden in spite of the boozy punch and the other 3 were drinkable. I am usually an IPA guy but this one was a little malty and the red was over pronounced in my opinion. In a crowded market I am curious where they will stand out? The beer is not good enough to make it a destination and there is not enough production to get it on tap broadly. I would also not order it over other solid local beers especially at that alcohol "price point".

So I guess I would check it out if you have time but don't go out of your way. Is there ever a bad beer tour? Not really... they are just different levels of pretty ok!

http://www.infinitybrewing.com/#!/HOME#?1#?1#WebrootPlugIn#?1#?1#PhreshPhish#?1#?1#agtpwd

Jay About Fiddlehead HoDad beer

I am a sucker. Like a little kid I get taken in by shiny objects. Put some weird shit at the check out line and I am the sucker that buys it. This past weekend we were spending our kids' college fund on groceries at Healthy Living and I got sucked in again. There before my eyes was a shiny 4 pack of 16oz. cans. It looked just like Heady Toppers. Same size, same silver color, same tops, same too cool for school message about recycling the can. But these were not Toppers... they were the first canned offering from Fiddlehead Brewery in Shelburne.

First a little background on my history w/ Fiddlehead. When they first opened I was psyched, it was a brewery close to my house in a beautiful building w/ a flagship IPA. The early reality was that even though founder Matt Cohen was a friendly and knowledgeable guy the rest of the employees were morons who preferred chatting w/ friends about conditions on the mountain than responding to customers about the beer. Of course they knew very little about the beer or the process so that was fine. The attached pizza place had not opened. Frankly, the worst thing was that the beer was not good. It was flat and lacked flavor, kind of like the one note offerings often found at Long Trail. But they got better. Folino's opened and got geared up w/ pretty decent pizza. The IPA was refined and is now really a good standard IPA on tap around the area, often my go to when there is nothing special to try. The service in the brewery got better and now run pretty tight. They are making it happen, not killing it, but solid.

Background on the Alchemist and it's Heady Topper. It's great. It has always been great. I hate paying $14 for a 4 pack of 16oz beers but I often do. I like it quite a bit.

So, how about the new Fiddlehead cans? $19.95 for the 4 pack. Yikes! That is a pretty steep upcharge on one of the top tick markets out there, and for an unproven product. Needless to say the Toppers were sold out but there were plenty of HoDads available. I plowed ahead, the fool that I am. The beer? It is a coconut infused vanilla porter. Sounds gross but I am willing to be swayed. It is gross. It tastes like shitty soda and there is no way I would ever drink more than 1 (or any ever again after this 4 pack is gone). It cannot get better like the IPA, there is nothing good about it. There is also about 3% less alcohol per can so that is not comparable. I have had some hits and misses at Fiddlehead but the growlers are always pretty reasonable where these cans are a kick in the dick. It seemed like this place was heading in the right direction... hit some ice and has skidded into the ditch. If you want to overpay for a beer, get the Topper. Or even a more reasonably priced 16oz. Sierra Nevada Torpedo.

Erin Go Bragh... Brah!

Get it? For the Bros, or Brahs... ok, whatever... apparently we are saying it wrong anyway, should be Éirinn go Brách. In any event, Happy Saint Patrick's Day. I hope you all are celebrating the fact you are not actually very Irish but drinking a disgusting green dyed American beer that came from Germany. Saint Patrick likely would not give a shit as long as you got those motherf*ing snakes off this motherf*ing plane!!!! I like this holiday, it is one of my favorites. There is no pressure to get gifts or be thoughtful, you just have a bit of fun.  BTW, good for Guinness pulling out of the NY parade over the stance of sexual equality. I am pretty sure there are gay people in Ireland so you should probably let them walk.

So my special lady and I sent the kids down to the grandparents and had a nice date weekend. We hiked the Stowe Pinnacle which was fun despite the rain/heavy snow/rain, went out for a drink at Hen of the Wood which was lovely and then had dinner at L'Amante which was also quite nice. The grilled sardine appetizer was the big hit narrowly edging out the always stellar bolognese. We then headed back home stopping at the Cafe Shelburne, under new ownership and with a dedication to be a little more inviting and informal but keep the high standards of well prepared French fare. We were immediately concerned by the near empty parking lot. More so by the bartender who was reading a book and seemed surprised when we asked to sit at the bar. We ordered a drink and she had to search the place for a drink menu. Not a good sign. After a long wait she finally banged out my cocktail which was actually quite good and well balanced. A main component was absinthe which can go very wrong but was solid in this instance. It was worse for the people who had to wait forever to get their martinis poured. If I were them I might have left. There were only 3 full tables... at 8:45PM on a Saturday. We ordered a lemon ginger creme brulee and it was very nice. The hint of ginger was delicious and not fake or weirdly overpowering. The menu for dinner looked good and the space was nice. Service was slow but friendly. I hope the place makes it but I am fearful that they are not getting the word out enough. If you have a chance stop by, it is worth a taste I think and I look forward to a longer meal.

The next day we cleaned and cooked with no distractions. That is a good day for me these days, folding laundry with no one bothering me. Well it is also funny that my son apparently seems to be calling trucks a word that sounds suspiciously like cock, or caulk... I'm not entirely sure.