Jay About Costa Rica... Costa Rica Strikes Back!!!

Not really.  So over the river and through the beach, to Sueno Del Mar we go.  Went.  Get the reference?  Ok, fine... this blog is way to high level comically for this crowd!  Anywho, we made our way North and slipped into the town of Tamarindo. Tamarindo is like any other overdeveloped surf town.  There are cheesy bars, falafal/taco joints, hippies, college kids, and stinky surfers.  That and a thick layer of smuggery.  In any event we made it through town and on to our hotel that was down the beach a bit which was nice.  The rooms were a little dark but clean and comfortable.  The property filtered down to a beach area and the ocean.  Interesting beach, at low tide you could see the jagged volcanic rocks that were sneakily hidden at high tide under the heavy waves.  Not far in either direction the beach widened into wider sand/shell beach and the waters were calmer and swimmable.

On our first night we cruised to the local pizza place, La Baula.  It was pretty packed.  At first I just noticed families and random tourists... then it got interesting.  There was young Jesus.  Crazy weird gawker alcoholic guy at the bar.  Then the hooker/strippers came in.  And then the cast of Jersey Shore arrived.  Not really but they appeared in the same vein. There was over tanned girl.  The "mayor" or Tamarindo.  Super drunk friend barely holding his shit together, and then Snooki herself showed up... way too tan, and plastic.  It was pretty damned funny. 

That evening It got even better.  We got back to the hotel and settled in for bed.  Around 2AM I woke to a strange noise.  Howler monkey?  Nope.  He did not come out until 4AM.  It was out next door neighbor who proceeded to barf for the next hour or two.  She just kept dry heaving and making disgusting noises.  For hours.  Hours.  Oh yeah, then the howler monkey got hot and reciprocated the mating call of the barfer at around 4AM.

Next morning I learned it was our next door neighbor's fiancee.  Yup, they actually got married that next day.  At the hotel.  Just the two of them.  And of course the other patrons who were witnesses all dressed up in our beachwear, sweating, drinking cheap beer, and reading trashy beach magazines.  Perfect.  To celebrate their union our barfer friend pulled out a butt and started huffing away.  Classy!

Another gem in Tamarindo was our walk to Captain Suizo's hotel and restaurant.  The walk down the beach was lovely and to cool off we cruised into the bar for a beer and a little lunch.  The only other patron was a nerdy teen w/ some metal t-shirt that said Zurba or something and jeans (it was 94 and sunny) picking at a soda and drinking a Coke.  We ordered some not awesome nachos and a couple yes awesome Pina Coladas.  This is were it got good.  Up to the bar cruises another teen I figured to be about 17.  He was skinny but w/ a huge head.  He was rocking board shorts and a Billabong tank top w/ Bob Marley on the front.  Oh yeah, he had an enormous brightly colored tattoo of a mermaid in a garland of roses that took up his whole upper arm.  I nearly lost my guacamole.  But it got better.  He saddled up next to the nerd and ordered a "Black Label on the rocks"!  Did I mention he was a skinny big headed teenager?  Or that it was 2:30 in the afternoon and 94 degrees out?  Johnny Black?  Frank Sinatra would not been able to pull that drink order off.  We had to see where this was going.  It was going to fun town!  The bartender asked his age laughing.  He said "uh... 19?"  Good enough for her... Black Label on the rocks it is!  On the families hotel tab?  You betcha!!  We are now watching intently as this kid goes for the first sip... and nearly pukes in his own mouth!  His face immediately recoiled in pain.  We started giggling.  Didn't see him take another drink.  He offered a sip to nerd guy who was his brother.  Showing amazing judgement Zurba said no way, maybe later.  Black Label then regaled his brother with a laundry list of his many conquests; whisky sours, pina coladas, rum and cokes... the standard fair.  His brother just rolled his eyes.  Then the mom cruised up.  She did not bat an eye at the glass of hooch the kid was rocking.  She only started blabbing about surf lessons.  At which point Zurba said there was no way he was surfing and left to go read fan fiction.  The whole thing was money in the bank and cannot properly be expressed but is a memory I will never forget.

After that it was boring.  We went to a dinner at Shlomy's which was supposed to be very high end but was not really good at all. Poor flavors, poor execution, no imagination.  We then had a very easy drive back into Liberia and flew home more or less on time.

Why is it you rent a car for "$25/day" for 6 days but when the bill comes due it is for $27,385.75?!  It wasn't like we upgraded to a Ferrari!!!  Fucking rental places.  Our Diatsu was a revelation however.  We rode that thing hard and it survived.

Now if you will excuse me, I have some bridges to burn and then urinate on before I win that $600MM tonight!!!