So out of the jungle my special lady and I sped on paved roads at a brisk 80 kilometers per hour south. With the help of our handy GPS we cruised towards the town of Santa Teresa which we had heard so many good things about. As we moved onto unpaved roads we began to question these positive voices? The dust kicked up like a sandstorm and left a thick dusty coating on everything. Folks driving 4 wheelers and motorcycles needed handkerchiefs to avoid the heavy silt. Once in the town it was like a crappy movie, I was half expecting to see the cast of Twilight and the new Friday the 13th cruising around in board shorts throwing up fake gang signs. Seriously, it was the wild west of douche bags. Fortunately as we got out of the middle of town things got better. We then came upon our amazing hotel the Pranamar. Our bags were whisked away and we were given a half assed tour... and then we got to our suite. It was not a room but a 2 floor structure on the beach. When we booked the room they said it was all they had, we had no idea how big it would be or the location. The suite featured 2 floors, a full kitchen, living room, 2 bedrooms, 2 baths (one w/ an outdoor shower), and 2 large decks w/ unobstructed views of the beach. It was amazing and all things being equal very reasonably priced. Where to hang out? The hammock on the top floor deck? The lounge chairs below? The beach? The bar? Who knows?!?! My only criticism is that one the water filter was really weird and hard to operate and two, as it is an ecologically friendly hotel w/ a fragile water system to throw out your TP as opposed to flushing which can create a bit of a stinky situation. Otherwise, my lady had a nice yoga lesson in the huge studio, and we had 2 really delicious breakfast meals that featured rice and beans, nice eggs, great home made tortillas and this really tasty cheese that was like a firm salty mozzarella. Possibly the best meals of the trip. Dinner was less so w/ an uninspired menu. Whatever. We also had dinner one night at another joint down the road at the Florblanca Hotel who was owned by the same folks as the Pranamar I believe. The hotel was lovely w/ a beautiful dining area, nice pool, and excellent beach area. The food itself was ok not great. We had grouper that was so so w/ an overly chocolaty mole. The local small batch beer (I forget the name) they had was nice and a solid departure from the standard Imperials. We had a salad that was ok but was a bit under seasoned. The tempura shrimp sushi was actually quite good and the real hit of the experience. Our waiter was really odd and kept smiling in a weird way like he wanted to make a skin suit out of me or something (size large arms and pecs. my friend)!
Anyway, on Sunday we were really sad to leave our palace but it was time to cruise north to Tamarindo. The directions were hilarious. Drawn on a piece of paper and featuring vague turns and river crossings we chuckled and set out in our dust truck. Well, we cruised up the ridge per instructions ok, the decent featured one wrong turn that ended in a no road in the jungle. Whoops. We then headed towards the beach and then... onto the beach! For about 1 kilometer or so we drove on a wide open beach next to the ocean and then it really got weird. We drove down a dirt embankment onto a shelled river shore. The directions said to cross. This was a real river. Not a stream, a river. My lady was not convinced. I walked over to 3 locals eating lunch riverside. They looked at me like the dumb gringo that I am. In broken Spanish and no English they convinced me to just cross the f*ing river and stop being such a pussy. OK! We cruised into the river that went about 3/4 to full wheel high onto the opposite shore and then drove up the shore until we found a hidden entry back to the dirt road. Sure, why not. We went for awhile trying to avoid cows in the road until we came to another embankment. And a deeper river! This one, you could not see the bottom. I said f*ck it and crossed. This time the water came up to about 1/2 way up the door. It was crazy... but we made it and thankfully the car did not stall out in the possibly croc. infested river, that would have sucked. After that the ride seemed easy! What a strange route to say the least.
Tomorrow the gripping conclusion to our amazing trip to Costa Rica, if you thought the weird times were over you are crazy Jack!
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