Time to make it weird

So we were just watching a commercial that mentioned a rusty Barbecue. That is also a weird sex move right... the rusty BBQ?

Another commercial on CNBC is for Flexshot. Yup, apparently you can fill up huge cracks and holes w/ a simple Flexshot. And I will leave it right there.

Hey, guess what?!

Why is everyone so freaked out about one of the douchebags leaving 1 Direction? The NY Daily News loosely compared it to Pete Best leaving the Beatles. I don't know one 1 Direction song, not one. You would figure I would hear at least one just by accident right? Well, f*** those guys.

How is my Final 4 bracket? Imagine a large steaming pile of poop... yeah, it is worse than that.

It is f*ing snowing today. It is March 27nd. AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

If Janet Yellen tightens interest rates too soon will we get one of these?

As we plunge into recession, Vice Chair Stanley Fischer will have a heart attack and Yellen will just stand over him... "F*** him! Turn those interest rates back to zero!!!"

This is a picture from a hearing on housing around the airport in Burlington. Can you pick out the guy who is not supposed to be within 100 feet of a school and just realized there were cameras present?


Now if you will excuse me, I need to go talk to my lady about a rusty BBQ.

It's a Bonanza!

So it was the 10th wedding anniversary for my special lady and I this weekend. We shipped the kids down to my folks and both proceeded to get ill in various ways. I have not been right since I had kids. Seriously... my body and mind are breaking down at an alarming rate. In any event... we were able to get out to 5 restaurants, 3 were new to me and all 5 to my wife. Well, it was a mixed bag.

So our first stop was dinner Friday night at the Bluestone in Waterbury. We were on our way home from down south and Waterbury was jamming so we decided to check this place out. I had heard decent things and it seemed like a nice enough place? Well, it was a pretty big miss. We started with a simple salad which had enough garlic to take down a vampire village. It was balanced w/soggy barely edible brussel sprouts. The pizza we ordered seemed straight forward enough but the pomodoro (tomato) sauce had no flavor and the thing was covered w/ 38 huge roasted garlic pieces that looked like slugs. The crust was pretty decent. Service was slow. The vibe was mellow and they poured a nice beer. 1 Thumb sideways would be pretty kind

Next stop was lunch the following day at the Parkside Kitchen, a spin off of the Kitchen Table and in the old On the Rise Bakery spot. Space is still clean and nice. We ordered a green salad and "fancy macaroni and cheese". Delicious. The salad had a restrained dressing that gave a nice pop but let the greens shine on their own. The mac an cheese was properly cooked (not soggy) and decadent. The shrooms and squash were a nice accompaniment as were the crushed bread crumbs on top. It was really a good lunch. We snuck out some donuts to go that I bet were off the chain right out of the fryer but were a little dry later in the day. Still, 1 2/3 thumbs up.

Our big dinner was at the newly opened Waterworks over in the Noosk. The town was on fire with everyplace packed. The WW is a beautiful spot, exposed steel and wood beams... it is pretty awesome. They were pumping 80s/90s pop rock like Bon Jovi... super loud. We had to wait on our table for a few minutes so we grabbed a drink. We both agreed, the drinks are a little sweet with probably too much simple syrup but they are pretty meticulously prepared and I think that is the general new wave taste. I like my drink to taste like booze, otherwise I will order a soda. The menu was a bit of a mess. They just don't seem to know what they want to be and it comes across confused. We got a squash soup (no flavor but nice heat), salad (ugh), wings (undercooked but good sauce), lamb meatballs (don't bother), and some Mahi sliders that tasted pretty fishy. It was just not very good. Love the space and I might go back to grab a drink at the bar but there are better options in Winooski. That said the place was packed and most likely appeals to a certain demographic that I am not in. Another sideways thumb unless you love Sweetwaters... then this place will appeal to you.

Finally, we had lunch at the Turkish joint in Burlington. I reviewed this last week so I won't detail it but the food was excellent again, excellent.

2 hits, 2 misses... and some pretty good chips and salsa at the Pro Pig pubhouse.

Jay About the Istanbul Kebab House

I stopped by the IKH today for a bit of lunch and to check out the scene. They moved into the old Bierehause or however it is spelled spot and I was nervous. The location for whatever reason has not been a hot spot and the layout of the space is kind of tough. I used to like the German beers but it was never in the front of my mind and anytime we stopped by it was usually pretty empty.

Anywho... The new space is nice. I did not go upstairs but they designed the downstairs area in a clean, cozy, nice spot to eat a meal. I was surprised at the crowd. It was very full and almost exclusively an older professional crowd, the type that I see congregating for Cuban flute night at the Flynn but not at any of the local watering holes downtown? I bellied up to the bar and got down to business. Service is prompt and pleasant but not real chatty. I asked the host/bartender a few questions and English was not his first (or possibly 3rd) language. He was nice enough though and maybe just didn't care to chat with a bozo like myself. I opted for the lamb kebab wrap. I am a sucker for lavash bread and prefer it to rice. The lamb was well seasoned and pretty tender with just a couple fatty bites. The pickled cabbage was a nice texture/flavor component and the yogurt sauce was very nice as well. The whole thing was delicious, came out pretty fast, and was very reasonably priced. Kebab and a beer for $16? Hard to beat that for a hot sit down meal. A large party came in as I was finishing up. Another good sign.

Hey, how about 1 2/3 thumbs up (clean up that website).

How About That Sturgill Simpson

Last night my special lady and I had date night. We grabbed a bite at the bar of The Guild and then cruised over to Higher Ground to check out a new age country singer Sturgill Simpson.  I have reviewed the Guild several times before so no need to get into the weeds but it was excellent. Very good service including the host who was hustling big time. The drinks were well made and delicious and the food was also great. It was packed on a Wednesday night. Packed. We were very pleasantly surprised by the whole experience.

On to Sturgill. Well, I think I went in with my expectations a little high. I had been watching Youtube videos and was expecting a pretty high energy situation. The guy said he was sick and maybe that was the case. The music was fine but there was no soul, no fire. It seemed like they were just cashing a check and not super happy to be there. It is amazing the voice that comes out of that little guy and the band is obviously pretty talented but Simpson mumbled the words to songs and they really only unleashed on two tunes. Overall it was fine, nothing I would recommend though the tickets were only $15 a piece so for that I guess it was worth the price of admission. The whole thing was over by 10:30PM by the way.

Fun little post game at the Upper Deck pub at the Windjammer. Pretty decent nachos and cold beer. Nice work Upper Deck Pub!

Jay Back to Puerto Rico!

My folks were down in PR for a conference and stayed for what is turning out to be an extended extended vacation down there and invited the bird family to join. Trade in bitter cold with very little snow for warm sunny days on the beach? Hell to the yeah.  The flight down was pretty easy w/ a short layover and pretty on time flights. We picked up our rental car and headed for the beach. The Mazda 6 was ok to drive I guess and was very roomy for a mid size car but the it was very difficult to get the seat in a decent position and rear visibility was terrible as the A-Bars? over both shoulders were huge. Change lanes at your own peril.

We were staying in a condo in Luquillo Beach which is an odd but pretty cool town. The beach is wide, pretty clean and beautiful. There were rougher surf spots as well as some very serene spots great for the kids. It is always fun to watch the surfers head out and never actually try to catch a wave. They just float out there. Call it the lifestyle if you want but I think you can't actually surf and are scared to death you might actually catch a wave. We saw 4 girls go for it in pretty choppy surf our last day. A for effort as they got right in the mix. F for execution which actually was an A+ for entertainment.

Right next door to our condo was the bar Boardriders. It was great. Super chill, no pretension, decent food, and cold drinks. We were among the regulars. A band played the first night who could not have sucked worse. Couldn't sing, or play instruments, or keep time. The next night a reggae band was very good though. The main drag in front of the bar was a spot where Puerto Ricans drove their pieces of shit super slow with the radios turned up to a volume no stereo should ever go. That was fun. I also enjoyed the regulars who grabbed a beer to go for the ride home. Didn't even opt for the U.S. obligatory paper bag.

The town was interesting. There were nicely kept houses up on the hill behind the grocery store but on the beach places were in varied states of disrepair. Many houses were abandoned all together. Premium beachfront just left empty and busted. It was weird. The town square was very nice though and on Friday night the town packed in with a mixture of tourists, families, and retirees all listening to live music, eating street food, and having a fun time.

If you go, check out the kiosks featured on one of those Anthony Bourdain shows. They are fun and the food ranges from yikes, to delicious. Plus it is a great place to grab a beer walk around and check out the nice beach behind.

So I had never noticed but in PR they have this shit called Gasolina. It is weird booze packaged like a Capri Sun. Seriously. Booze in a pouch and it is called Gasolina!!!

The missus and I had a night away at the San Juan Water and Beach Club. Nice beach, beautiful view from our cool but small room. The elevator is a cool glass thing where you can watch the ceiling come at you. It is fun. The rooftop bar has a great view but service is excruciating and expensive.

The restaurant in the hotel was very solid though. Very good service. People not even eating there came and gave our waitress a hug. No lie. The apps were very good, we had a nice watermelon soup with a great broth and lamb empanadas which were a nice size, not at all greasy and delicious. Our main course of fried Snapper was way too salty and the mufungo was dry. The pumpkin donuts got us back on track though!

Overall a fun trip except the 7 hour layover in Philadelphia. It really sucks to fly these days. United f*d us over and re booked us on a shitty flight that then got delayed a few hours. Try keeping 2 toddlers entertained in an airport for 7 hours.

BTW. congrats to LB squared, who are now cubed!

Boom!!!

What a game. I almost lost my shit several times last night. Should have been 34-14 Pats but the same old leaky defense had some big lapses. Still so many Brady haters... of course he is the best QB of all time now. If you are still picking Peyton than clearly your number 2 is Dan Marino. And Carmelo Anthony is your favorite basketball player. Hey Sherman, you mad bro?

Was I partying and making it rain last night?! Yup, if by party you mean sitting alone on my couch watching it on an IPad while eating Trade Joe's pot stickers while my kid hacks up a lung upstairs? Then yes. Yes I did.

Why I Hate Your Driving

1. You are driving 30 MPH in a 45 MPH zone.
2. You are doing this in the passing lane.
3. You just came to a full stop at a yield/roundabout/right hand turn.
4. You don't use your blinker... ever.
5. You are on your phone or texting while slowly drifting from lane to lane.
6. You just slowed down as the light turned yellow then gunned it through the red leaving me at the longest red light ever.
7. Even though you are the slowest driver on the road you just busted into a wide open passing lane creating all sorts of unnecessary traffic.
8. You have no idea where you are going but rather than pull over to look at a map or GPS to are creeping along at 25, randomly flipping on a turn signal but not turning, starting left then careening right, jamming your brakes, then just stopping in the middle of the road.
9. Your are driving a Prius or Volvo wagon.
10. Bumper stickers.
11. Your are turning around talking to your dog who is all over the backseat.
12. Teenager.
13. Over 60.
14. Hey, it's snowing... let's run red lights, jam our brakes for no reason, cut in front of oncoming traffic to turn into the Bagel Place!
15. Rain? I have never seen this wet stuff... better turn it down to 15 MPH just to make sure. Of course once it turns to snow it is time to launch at 80 through parking lots!
16. The light just turned green, um still green, yup still green and you are;looking at your phone/talking to your passengers/reading a book/brushing your teeth/I don't know... jerking off, but you certainly are not moving your f*ing car!!!

There are probably other ones. In fact it is probably safer for you to just stay home or at the very least pull over when you see the ill tempered (and quite handsome) guy in the silver car w/ VT plates right behind you (just to be on the safe side).