Jay About X-Men... Days of blah blah blah

So I gave myself a pre-father's day gift the other day and went to the movies. It was pretty pleasant. I had no one to look after, chase, entertain... my kids were not there either (just kidding). So I only had a limited window and the one movie I wanted to see that fit the window was X-Men. Sorry Gojira. Generally, I like super hero movies, the X-Men, and I quite enjoyed the last one and the recent reboot. That unfortunately led me into this movie w/ lofty expectations. Well, the movie was fine and entertaining enough but it was not great. There were too many characters, the villain situation was not compelling, and it was just convoluted as a story. I doubt I would watch it again. I liked Superman better. So, suck it Marvel nerds. I would still give it a thumb up, it was fine and enjoyable as a big theater movie. Good gift to myself I guess.

Father's Day itself? Well, mine are young. It is all work everyday. They fussed all morning to the point a lunch out was off the table. We got sandwiches for a picnic on a delightful summer day. My son and daughter grabbed the pickles and gummed the shit out of them while running around the yard splashing in a bucket of old water or tossing around dirt in the herb garden. I deconstructed a sandwich for them to eat. Instead, they sauntered over to my lady and I and tore into ours making a giant mess and just chowing on the bread. My wife had to pound her wine so they would not steal it and I was playing constant defense on my beer. The coup de grace was when my little girl brought over a bucket of dirt and tossed the last decent half sandwich in it. I love my kids, they are real pissers. I think my mother likes this little bit of karma. The day improved as it wore on. They cheered up and we played a bit.

Another quick review... the "Toot" book by Leslie Patricelli. My kids love it and so do I. My wife thinks it is slightly uncouth. 2 thumbs up... toot toot!

Jay About Citizen Cider... and Switchback

It's a two-fer! Why the f*** not?!?! So anywho, it was a sunny day last Friday and we decided to check out the new Citizen Cider tasting room on Pine Street. I would be the first to admit that while I like some cider products ok, and some very much, it is never my go to drink. When I was in college we went to England, you ordered cider at the end of the night because it cost half as much as beer so it was a good way to extend your pound and your buzz. Next was the Woodchuck cider movement. I think that stuff is pretty gross. But then farmers up here realized it was more profitable to sell booze than to host apple picking and we started to get some nice drier, more nuanced offerings. Still, I am a beer guy.

So how about Citizen Cider? Their flagship the Unified Press is fine, a little sweet. I have had a couple of the other ones and they were also too sweet. So why go to the recently opened bar/tasting room? Because I am willing to keep an open mind and I love a tasting room!  The space looks suspect from the outside but inside it is a beautiful light and airy retro industrial space. Nice long bar and open areas to mingle, or chill and sip cider. Of course besides the 8 or so ciders on tap they also have a decent booze selection with some very nice high end choices and a few beers on tap. And food. We started w/ a flight of 5. You get to choose your mix which is nice. I passed on ones I knew were not for me and went w/ the more esoteric and and drier options. I thought the Stan was really nice... dry, not very sweet, and almost champagne like w/ a more bready thing going on. I also thought the Northern Spy and the Dirty Mayor were very solid. The Dirty Mayor was a little sweeter but the ginger really kept it on the up and up. We shared a hot pretzel, it was pretty good. The coup de grace was the cider w/ the bourbon back. The key was mixing the bourbon right in with the cider, in my case the Stan. It made for an exceptional cocktail. A little sweet, boozy, a little old man-esque, slightly fizzy. Just a nice summertime drink. Makes me want one right now! Fun time, I will be back.

I stopped by quickly to check out the new Switchback storefront. While still under construction it also was a nice clean wood, steel, and glass space that makes for a nice tasting experience. I nice young woman was pouring beers behind the temporary bar space and was quite knowledgeable about the beers and process. A buddy's sister G was working and she stopped by to give me the straight poop on the new space and how the brewery was doing in general, great additional color. I had sort of gotten over the whole Switchback phenomena a couple years ago. The unfiltered ale was good but I always got pretty banged up and then my stomach was a mess. Going to the brewery though the fresh from the tap Brown was subtle and really quite nice. The pale ale was refreshing on the hot day and also pretty darn good. I even enjoyed the red ale which I don't always love (red ales in general). Overall, I enjoyed the beers and the experience. I can get back in that mix from time to time. Another spot I will return to without a doubt.

Is it a problem that I liked both places and they are on my way home? I suppose that depends who you ask!

Just trying to get a f*ing haircut?!

So I don't have a ton of hair... it is pretty easy to get it done. I get my head shaved w/a #2 attachment and it should take about 15 minutes. My wife won't do it and I can't quite do it myself but out and about it is usually pretty cheap. So I am pretty shaggy and decided to try and get it done Wed., around 1:30. Middle of the week, a workday, should be pretty easy to get it done. I cruised by Main Street Barbers. Packed. Like 4-5 people waiting for 3 barbers. Shit. I walked away. I called over to check in on Bugatti on Battery St. The woman put me on perma hold. I went back to the office and after half an hour or so I tried again. Still packed at Main Street. I mean, I was skipping out on work... didn't the rest of these people have jobs?! So I tried Bugs again. They said it was the grand opening and they were doing walk ins, very short wait. First off, grand opening? They have been open for like a year. I have been there several times over the last few months. Whatever, I go over and I am the only one waiting while two ya-yos are getting cuts. One guy is getting his pompadour cut and won't shut the f*** up about his various jobs at local bars or whatever. The other guy is also getting a fancy cut and seems like he has never gotten his hair cut before. Anyway, I read mags and wait forever while the chatting and cuts get done. I finally get in the chair and some tall skinny fat guy w/ a terrible mustache and a bow tie asks me how I heard about them? I said in an annoyed voice... "I have gotten my hair cut here a bunch of times." He says well, he has never seen me. Well, I guess you don't work during the lunch hour, probably too busy trimming and waxing your dirt stache? I ask how they can have a grand opening a year after they actually opened. Apparently they now have everything just how they want it and are celebrating. The only difference between now and the actual opening that I could see was a couple pieces of art, dirt stache, and higher prices. Needless to say our conversation pretty much ended there. Good. It was a good cut but they then jammed me for $20. Used to be $15. Is going up to $25 next week. So long Bugatti... you just opened for the second time and I will not be going back.

So here is a weird thing. Apparently Jonah Hill got harassed by paparazzi until he snapped and hurled a homophobic slur at the photog. I am no stranger to such comments. I am trying to get better about all types of degrading comments like that because they are not fair but I have used such a slur before. So here is the question... I work closely w/ 2 men and a woman and was thinking about inappropriate joking. Has there ever been a case in bro culture or otherwise where you thought about using a derogatory homophobic term directed at a woman? So you say to a guy... "don't be gay", or in Jonah Hill's case, "suck my dick faggot". Would you ever say to a woman, "don't be gay"? Would a woman say to a woman... well, I am not going to write it so you can fill in the blanks but think of the equivalent to Jonah's taunt. I am not saying homosexual women do not get their share of abuse, but is the use of these kinds of digs beyond a sex thing and almost a gender role question? Is it more acceptable for a woman to bend gender roles than it is for a man in the current society parameters? Then again, there are dudes who are convinced women are gay and tell them such if their advances are spurned so maybe women in general are more advanced than men... well, at least when it comes to how they denigrate other people. And a better question, is this all too deep for this blog which generally just shits on barber shops and discusses my great love for Reubens?

When we return on JAT, Existential humor... everybody is a little funny, now you you funny too. Don't go away.

Jay About Worthy Burger... and More!!!

Big weekend for the Bird's! My folks graciously offered to take the kids for a night so my special lady and I could go on a date. Boy did we take advantage!  First stop was lunch at Worthy Burger in South Royalton. These guys have been getting a ton of press lately and are considered by some to produce the best burger in VT.  High praise. Well, S.R. is a little off the run. The Vermont law school is there and we used to go up and routinely beat up on them in high school sports. Otherwise there is really no reason to stop. Until now. The place itself is just off the main square in what looks like an old warehouse. It is a cool industrial space with screened in deck and interior seating. You order at the bar and when your buzzer rings you pick up your food. They have a nice selection of high quality beers including some harder to find local stuff like the Hill Farmstead What is Enlightenment. We ordered Parmesan truffle fries, my wife got a veggie burger and I went w/ the standard burger w/ caramelized onions, cheddar, and bacon. Hey, it was really good. The burger was nicely cooked medium rare and quite juicy. Well cooked bacon, chunk of cheddar, great soft bun. It was really good. The veggie burger was also quite nice, well, according to my lady... she did not give me a bite. The fries were pretty good and not overly truffley or fake tasting. Decent price point and lots of pretty solid condiment choices. We walked out with the only complaint being there were too MANY fries. Is that really a complaint? She suggested 2 thumbs up as there was almost all right and no wrong. I reserve that for the perfect cheer so I will say 1 8/9th thumbs up! Best burger in VT? I will have to think about that one but it was pretty darn good and is certainly in the running.

Next stop was a quick beer at the Three Penney Taproom in Montpelier. Good beer, fun scene, solid service. I think it is a great place for a beer, never had a bad time there. My favorite moments were the skinny guy w. the suitcase walk and the all white outfit. He was a pretty good character. Not as good as the older gentleman in all denim w/ the cowboy hat and boots. This is VT and it was 70 degrees outside (denim jacket?). What really made it though was when he did not get in the pickup truck but instead squeezed into the prius to slowly drift off w/out a sound over yonder!

Last but not least was an evening w/ friends at Duino Duende. It was a last minute decision on food but a good one. We started off just grabbing a drink in the attached Radio Bean and watching a great 3 piece band. It is Jazzfest this week in Burlington. The little band; Miriam Bernardo, Michael Chorney, Rob Morse Trio was very cool and super sexy. I also really enjoyed the vibe and my Sazerac. I had not been in Radio Bean in awhile but it is still very cool, in a older hip kind of gets it VT way. Too cool for me on a regular basis. We then popped over next door for the "International Street Food" experience. This place has been around for years and I have never ventured in, my mistake. Also a very hip scene. We ordered a few beers and settled in for more jazz and pleasant conversation. It was a happening scene but not too loud to chat. We started with pretty tasty fried tomatillos and a Puerto Rican chicken skewer. I then had the spicy Korean Beef tacos. I agreed w/ my pal JG they were a little sweet but the tortilla was nice, the beef was pretty well cooked and the had nice mellow heat. Overall it was pretty cheap and pretty tasty. 1 1/2 thumbs up, maybe 3/4 for the additional scene Saturday night. The second band C Local was also very cool.

We finished up ad Red Square. There was this band that looked like a bunch of college nerds who were having way too much fun. The short sax player was hilarious. If he tried to look like he was having a better time his little head might have exploded. Then there was the guitar/singer who looked like a 15yr old version of Russel from Almost Famous. I kept wondering when he and his striped pants and scruffy mustache would ditch the rest of his uncool band for a solo "career". Whatever, they were entertaining enough... except for that "this is the 90s" song... don't ever play that steaming pile of shit again. Seriously.

Big night out... until 11:30PM!  2 thumbs way up!!!!

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Hey, it was Memorial Day Weekend!

We cruised on down to the in-laws for a long weekend in the Berkshires. It was nice. Driving w/ my kids sucks but what can you do... apparently we do not have teleporting technology yet. The great thing about a long drive is that my kids sleep for maybe an hour and then all hell breaks loose. We try to feed them, we sing until we run out of songs (5), and then my wife climbs in the back to wedge herself between car seats and try to entertain. When we got there the kids were great. They chased the cat around the house pointing and screaming. Screaming! We went to a fantastic dance party my sister in law put together. I saw a fat couple absolutely rocking the dance floor. One chick puked on the bar and promptly faded out. The bar tender swept in out of nowhere and scooped the girl up whisking her out the back door... never to be seen again. Seriously, that girl might be in the swamps of Jersey or Guantanamo Bay right now.  Did I mention that the bartender was a 30 some odd year old woman who did the amazing power lift. It was impressive. We rocked out to some songs I don't know and ghosted out. We also hung w/ my brother in law and his family including the beautiful newborn baby girl. They also have a son who is very intelligent and know what a hairy woodpecker is as opposed to a red breasted woodpecker. He is not even 3. He also had a haircut that looked like terraced fields in China. Apparently young boys get restless quickly. Who knew?! I mean my son gets distracted by a dog barking a mile away.

We were able to get out for a meal at the Prairie Whale. It was really quite nice. The oysters were very crisp and flavorful w/ a great mignonette. The radishes on toast w/ marrow butter were decadent and delicious, and the citrus salad was off the hook w/ perfectly delicate de-pithed grapefruit on lightly dressed greens. The main course might have been my least favorite, a nice but not special brisket. Good, but other stuff was very good. The owner/host Mark Firth was super nice and accommodating and even remembered us when we saw him at the farmer's market the next day. That is a true host my friends.

Our other eating experience was w/ the kids at the Pit Stop in Granville, NY. Hey, it was perfect. You eat outside, the food was as expected from a roadside stand, and it was cheap. The bacon on my BLT was crisp as was the side pickle (did not smell funny). It was what we needed at that moment. My son kept walking over to the neighboring picnic table, laughing and then walking away, and then walking over and getting closer, and then doing it all over again. Funny kid.

So all in all, it was a nice little weekend. Oh yeah, I laid down a shock and awe campaign at the house. When I got home there were 4 dead mice and 2 traps that the mice had escaped from. Gross, but effective.

Alert! Silver German Luxe (semi) cars terrorizing Charlotte VT!!!!!!

So there is a thing around here called "Front Porch Forum". Depending on the town it ranges from neighborly posting on local events, musings, and services wanted type stuff to snarky shots at people not picking up their dog's poop. I am not actually on it but my wife is. She alerted me to the fact I had made the forum! How? Good question.

The other day, I played golf w/ a colleague and then headed over to a house in Charlotte to meet my realtor and look at a farmhouse that was for sale. I was late but still the first person there. It is right on a pretty main road, and there neighbor across the street was outside mowing the front lawn. It was 4pm or so. After waiting awhile I saw a lurky person in the window peering out at me. Not wanting to seem weird or make them feel uncomfortable I decided to go to the door and tell them who I was and why I was there. A woman in her 60s/70s opened the door a sliver and asked who I was. I explained the scene and she said she was unaware of a showing... I better call my agent. Oh yeah? No shit Sherlock... I was going to keep waiting in your driveway a while and make it super weird. Freak. Anyway, I called my agent and she was at the wrong house and had f*d the whole thing up. Whatever, it was a FUBAR but it happens, so I fired up the car and drove home. Case closed right? Wrong.

On the heels of a post concerning an apparently sketchy Silver BMW w/ tinted windows (probably a minority!) I was lit up as a sketchy character in a silver Audi lurking around.  A further post suggested calling the cops on such occasions. Now, I know how intimidating a short bald dude in gold attire driving an Audi is so I get it. Frankly, I was going to rob that old woman but it is hard to fit the good stuff between the car seats and I had too many strollers in the trunk to access that either?!

My wife said this is the kind of thing that only happens to me. I suppose that is true. Well, me and the person in the silver BMW.

Cinco de Mayo... Ugh

How did I party on May 5th?  Well, let me tell you! I cruised home early because my nanny had to leave. Kids were fussy. I had a sour stomach so I had to crap a bunch of times. Upstairs of course because my 1st floor bathroom was busted. That was my big win of the night, I fixed said toilet! Boom!!! One beer and a bunch of dished done later I settled on the couch w/ leftover soup and a turkey sandwich to watch TV. Now that is a hot night right?

So we were at a really fun 20's party at Shelburne Farms the other night and I had a Trout River Red Ale. It was terrible. Really terrible. My other choice was slightly less terrible Rock Art White Tail ale. It was a great night and very well done but the beer selection was tough. I moved to Citizen Cider (which I almost never do) and it was not too bad.

On the flip side, my pal LB busted out an Alchemist Beelzebub and it was really good. Smooth, luscious, a hint of coffee and chocolate. I like hops so I didn't mind their presence. Big fan here... wish they had more around.

So this was a fun post huh?  Somebody give me some inspiration... I am in a rut!