Jay About Costa Rica... Costa Rica Strikes Back!!!

Not really.  So over the river and through the beach, to Sueno Del Mar we go.  Went.  Get the reference?  Ok, fine... this blog is way to high level comically for this crowd!  Anywho, we made our way North and slipped into the town of Tamarindo. Tamarindo is like any other overdeveloped surf town.  There are cheesy bars, falafal/taco joints, hippies, college kids, and stinky surfers.  That and a thick layer of smuggery.  In any event we made it through town and on to our hotel that was down the beach a bit which was nice.  The rooms were a little dark but clean and comfortable.  The property filtered down to a beach area and the ocean.  Interesting beach, at low tide you could see the jagged volcanic rocks that were sneakily hidden at high tide under the heavy waves.  Not far in either direction the beach widened into wider sand/shell beach and the waters were calmer and swimmable.

On our first night we cruised to the local pizza place, La Baula.  It was pretty packed.  At first I just noticed families and random tourists... then it got interesting.  There was young Jesus.  Crazy weird gawker alcoholic guy at the bar.  Then the hooker/strippers came in.  And then the cast of Jersey Shore arrived.  Not really but they appeared in the same vein. There was over tanned girl.  The "mayor" or Tamarindo.  Super drunk friend barely holding his shit together, and then Snooki herself showed up... way too tan, and plastic.  It was pretty damned funny. 

That evening It got even better.  We got back to the hotel and settled in for bed.  Around 2AM I woke to a strange noise.  Howler monkey?  Nope.  He did not come out until 4AM.  It was out next door neighbor who proceeded to barf for the next hour or two.  She just kept dry heaving and making disgusting noises.  For hours.  Hours.  Oh yeah, then the howler monkey got hot and reciprocated the mating call of the barfer at around 4AM.

Next morning I learned it was our next door neighbor's fiancee.  Yup, they actually got married that next day.  At the hotel.  Just the two of them.  And of course the other patrons who were witnesses all dressed up in our beachwear, sweating, drinking cheap beer, and reading trashy beach magazines.  Perfect.  To celebrate their union our barfer friend pulled out a butt and started huffing away.  Classy!

Another gem in Tamarindo was our walk to Captain Suizo's hotel and restaurant.  The walk down the beach was lovely and to cool off we cruised into the bar for a beer and a little lunch.  The only other patron was a nerdy teen w/ some metal t-shirt that said Zurba or something and jeans (it was 94 and sunny) picking at a soda and drinking a Coke.  We ordered some not awesome nachos and a couple yes awesome Pina Coladas.  This is were it got good.  Up to the bar cruises another teen I figured to be about 17.  He was skinny but w/ a huge head.  He was rocking board shorts and a Billabong tank top w/ Bob Marley on the front.  Oh yeah, he had an enormous brightly colored tattoo of a mermaid in a garland of roses that took up his whole upper arm.  I nearly lost my guacamole.  But it got better.  He saddled up next to the nerd and ordered a "Black Label on the rocks"!  Did I mention he was a skinny big headed teenager?  Or that it was 2:30 in the afternoon and 94 degrees out?  Johnny Black?  Frank Sinatra would not been able to pull that drink order off.  We had to see where this was going.  It was going to fun town!  The bartender asked his age laughing.  He said "uh... 19?"  Good enough for her... Black Label on the rocks it is!  On the families hotel tab?  You betcha!!  We are now watching intently as this kid goes for the first sip... and nearly pukes in his own mouth!  His face immediately recoiled in pain.  We started giggling.  Didn't see him take another drink.  He offered a sip to nerd guy who was his brother.  Showing amazing judgement Zurba said no way, maybe later.  Black Label then regaled his brother with a laundry list of his many conquests; whisky sours, pina coladas, rum and cokes... the standard fair.  His brother just rolled his eyes.  Then the mom cruised up.  She did not bat an eye at the glass of hooch the kid was rocking.  She only started blabbing about surf lessons.  At which point Zurba said there was no way he was surfing and left to go read fan fiction.  The whole thing was money in the bank and cannot properly be expressed but is a memory I will never forget.

After that it was boring.  We went to a dinner at Shlomy's which was supposed to be very high end but was not really good at all. Poor flavors, poor execution, no imagination.  We then had a very easy drive back into Liberia and flew home more or less on time.

Why is it you rent a car for "$25/day" for 6 days but when the bill comes due it is for $27,385.75?!  It wasn't like we upgraded to a Ferrari!!!  Fucking rental places.  Our Diatsu was a revelation however.  We rode that thing hard and it survived.

Now if you will excuse me, I have some bridges to burn and then urinate on before I win that $600MM tonight!!!

Jay About Costa Rica Part Deux!

So out of the jungle my special lady and I sped on paved roads at a brisk 80 kilometers per hour south.  With the help of our handy GPS we cruised towards the town of Santa Teresa which we had heard so many good things about.  As we moved onto unpaved roads we began to question these positive voices?  The dust kicked up like a sandstorm and left a thick dusty coating on everything.  Folks driving 4 wheelers and motorcycles needed handkerchiefs to avoid the heavy silt.  Once in the town it was like a crappy movie, I was half expecting to see the cast of Twilight and the new Friday the 13th cruising around in board shorts throwing up fake gang signs.  Seriously, it was the wild west of douche bags.  Fortunately as we got out of the middle of town things got better.  We then came upon our amazing hotel the Pranamar.  Our bags were whisked away and we were given a half assed tour... and then we got to our suite.  It was not a room but a 2 floor structure on the beach.  When we booked the room they said it was all they had, we had no idea how big it would be or the location.  The suite featured 2 floors, a full kitchen, living room, 2 bedrooms, 2 baths (one w/ an outdoor shower), and 2 large decks w/ unobstructed views of the beach.  It was amazing and all things being equal very reasonably priced.  Where to hang out?  The hammock on the top floor deck?  The lounge chairs below? The beach?  The bar?  Who knows?!?!  My only criticism is that one the water filter was really weird and hard to operate and two, as it is an ecologically friendly hotel w/ a fragile water system to throw out your TP as opposed to flushing which can create a bit of a stinky situation.  Otherwise, my lady had a nice yoga lesson in the huge studio, and we had 2 really delicious breakfast meals that featured rice and beans, nice eggs, great home made tortillas and this really tasty cheese that was like a firm salty mozzarella.  Possibly the best meals of the trip.  Dinner was less so w/ an uninspired menu.  Whatever.  We also had dinner one night at another joint down the road at the Florblanca Hotel who was owned by the same folks as the Pranamar I believe.  The hotel was lovely w/ a beautiful dining area, nice pool, and excellent beach area.  The food itself was ok not great.  We had grouper that was so so w/ an overly chocolaty mole.  The local small batch beer (I forget the name) they had was nice and a solid departure from the standard Imperials.  We had a salad that was ok but was a bit under seasoned.  The tempura shrimp sushi was actually quite good and the real hit of the experience.  Our waiter was really odd and kept smiling in a weird way like he wanted to make a skin suit out of me or something (size large arms and pecs. my friend)! 

Anyway, on Sunday we were really sad to leave our palace but it was time to cruise north to Tamarindo.  The directions were hilarious.  Drawn on a piece of paper and featuring vague turns and river crossings we chuckled and set out in our dust truck.  Well, we cruised up the ridge per instructions ok, the decent featured one wrong turn that ended in a no road in the jungle.  Whoops.  We then headed towards the beach and then... onto the beach!  For about 1 kilometer or so we drove on a wide open beach next to the ocean and then it really got weird.  We drove down a dirt embankment onto a shelled river shore.  The directions said to cross.  This was a real river.  Not a stream, a river.  My lady was not convinced.  I walked over to 3 locals eating lunch riverside.  They looked at me like the dumb gringo that I am.  In broken Spanish and no English they convinced me to just cross the f*ing river and stop being such a pussy.  OK!  We cruised into the river that went about 3/4 to full wheel high onto the opposite shore and then drove up the shore until we found a hidden entry back to the dirt road.  Sure, why not.  We went for awhile trying to avoid cows in the road until we came to another embankment.  And a deeper river!  This one, you could not see the bottom.  I said f*ck it and crossed.  This time the water came up to about 1/2 way up the door.  It was crazy... but we made it and thankfully the car did not stall out in the possibly croc. infested river, that would have sucked.  After that the ride seemed easy!  What a strange route to say the least. 

Tomorrow the gripping conclusion to our amazing trip to Costa Rica, if you thought the weird times were over you are crazy Jack!

Jay About Costa Rica!

Back from Central America and besides this wound on my foot that may need to be amputated I am in pretty solid shape! So how was it?  Amazing!!  This trip had highs, lows, laughter, tears (from laughing)... so you can imagine, this will not fit in one post.  Let's get a few boring things out of the way.  It was an easy trip.  From Burlington we had only one layover, it was short, and the flights were more or less on time.  You can drink the water for the most part.  It is the worst place I have ever driven... and I have driven in some f****d up places.

We flew into Liberia and after a short very hot trip through customs we headed over to Budget to rent a car.  It went pretty quickly.  We did get a GPS and I would recommend the option.  Roads are not marked and it is easy to find yourself turned around and on what we would consider a not well maintained hiking path.  So we roll out and at first the roads were pretty good.  Paved well marked... seemed just a little too easy.  Well, the good times didn't last.  After a bit the road turned to a "country road", ie. an unpaved road that traded in gravel for large rocks the size of grapefruits.  Driving 1 kilometer took about half an hour in second gear.  Seriously.  This was a relatively well maintained road by the way.  After a couple wrong turns we found our way to La Anita ranch.  It was great.  We had a nice little cabin on the grounds at the foot of the mountains.  It was clean and comfortable except the 2 twin beds w/ a weird divider masking as a king.  We had 2 lovely diners and a very nice breakfast.  Dinner the first night for instance featured a well cooked white fish (tilapia?), w/ a delicious cilantro pesto, fresh vegetables straight from the on sight farm and pickled peppers that were spicy and very good.  At each meal we had fresh pressed local juices and delicious local coffee.  It was simple and very good.  On the advice of our host Paolo (or Pablo, different people pronounced it differently), we met up w/ a guide and cruised 12 miles through the rain forest, into the dry forest, and up to the rim of a local volcano... we think it was Rincon de la Vieja. It was a long and pretty tiring hike but very fun.  We saw the indigo butterflies, different orchids, birds, other crazy shit.  The volcano peak was socked in so it was difficult to see the crater but we then descended to one of the most amazingly beautiful waterfalls I had ever seen.  It was great and even though we speak very little Spanish and our guide spoke very little English we managed very well. 

Here is the catch... to get to the trail head we took a "shortcut".  In Costa Rican "shortcut" means barely passable road where you might be killed!  Looking at the "map" I laughed.  The main directive?  Do not turn if it seems illogical.  You are driving off road in the f*ing jungle!  Non of it is logical!!!  The boulders on the road were larger, the potholes/sinkholes deeper, and the rivers deeper.  My special lady was a little nervous when we crossed the first stream she was nervous.  The first bridge, a little more so.  When we had to fjord our first river she thought I was crazy.  When we got to the rickety wooden Romancing the Stone bridge she got out and walked.  I made it over ok.  It was touch and go.  That was a crazy drive.  Seriously, crazy.  But the ends justified the means.

Tomorrow, part II, Santa Teresa!!! Stay Tuned1!!!!

Jay About Montreal...

What crazy weather we are having this winter... it is seventy odd degrees here in Burlington, VT.  It is f*ing March!  We went to Stowe Friday and skid in 45 degree rain.  My special lady and I were able to meet up w/ our friends LB squared and head up for a lovely weekend in Montreal.  We stayed at the Palace de Armes in the old town and it was quite nice.  There were some snafus for us w/ the room type and the room charges but we were able to get sorted out into a large king room w/ huge windows overlooking the city to the north west.  It was comfortable and clean.  There were some typical stops that included ill advised late night Absinthe and a hockey game that ended w/ a fantastic and dramatic extended shoot out.  We had sushi at Kaizen that was referred to as the best sushi in Montreal.  It has a ridiculously priced sake and wine list.  On the high side!  The sushi itself was good but we all agreed we liked Sho-dan better.  It was a little more inventive and I thought the Sho-dan fish was slightly better. It was still quite good. 

Another high light was the Dieu du Ciel brewpub.  They had about 18 different brews on tap and the couple I tried were quite good.  The light ales were really nice and the India Cream Ale was like a cross between Heady Topper and Guinness.  A creamy slap in the face if you will.  But good.  You know what I mean. The pizza we had was alo pretty good. http://dieuduciel.com/en/home.php

Um, there were other good things like Molson and pool but I am slightly pressed for time so I will have to be back.  Bienvenue!

Jay About the Dirty Water!

So my buddy T-Pain and I ventured last night to our newest local hot spot... The Whiskey Room!  I don't know if it is really a "hot spot" but it is new.  Housed in the old AnyThing's Pastable space and an outgrowth of Ri Ra's it is fair to go into the Whiskey Room w/ some small amount of, shall I say, trepidation?  Well, I will tell you, it is a really nice space.  Old school cigar and whiskey with dark wood, glass, metal, and sumptuous leather.  Sure it is the same bartender and food as Ri Ra's, I don't care.  When the waitress handed me the "whiskey bible" I knew I was in the right place.  The bourbon and Canadian whiskey selections are uninspiring but the Scotch and Irish whiskeys are very interesting.  I wnet w/ a 10 yr. old Irish and it was smooth w/ just a hint of peat and excellent vanilla and tobacco flavors.  The beer selection is also nice though if you don't drink Guiness you f*d up.  Overall, I enjoyed it... kind of fear it... and will be back, maybe tonight!!!

Jay About Pistou

Before you all (both of you) accuse me of Middlebury favoritism... f*** you!  Ok, back to the issue at hand... Pistou!  We had the in laws in town so we decided to head into Burlington for a drink and dinner.  We quickly stopped for a drink at the new bar space on the second floor at Leunigs.  They are shooting for a French Brasserie feel as far as I can tell.  Whether or not that is successful I am not sure but it is a nice scene. There is a small but ok bar and several tables for 2 6 people.  They have a really nice and reasonably priced drink menu and plenty of excellent small plate options.  The place was very crowded at 7:30pm which is always a good sign.  We got prompt service, a nice drink (I went for the French 75 stand bye) and I would certainly go back assuming they did not get dooshy like the downstairs bar.

Next stop, Pistou.  It is a little off the run location wise and I am a little afraid it will hurt them.  They have already faded on the breakfast and lunch options they once had. It was busy but not packed and the bar needs to be bigger to make real moo-lah.  Our service started a little slow.  It took a long time to get a drink order in and when we finally got our wine the waitress poured it all over the table.  Away from that the menu looked solid but we went w/ the chef's choice tasting menu.  They ask you if you have any dietary requirements and then you get what comes out over 4 courses.  We started w/ a creamy chicken croquette.  It was a very nice amuse bouche.  A tasty little bite.  I wish we had the wine poured to go w/ it.  Next up, pork belly and smoked mmackerel w/ a rice vinegar pickled shitake mushroom in a little asian broth.  Shit, it was great.  The portion was perfect and the pork was crispy and not too fatty.  The fish was delicious and a great bite w/ the mushroom.  Hell yeah I mopped up the broth w/ the table bread!  Next, sea scallop on squid ink risotto.  Squid ink seems to be the fancy food accompaniment du jour.  Well, in this instance it worked.  The scallop was perfectly cooked and was very fresh tasting.  The risotto was slightly al dente and the squid ink gave it a slightly salty briny flavor.  That was a big winner.  Onto the meat course, slow cooked lamb w/ savory oats.  My lamb was a little fatty but the portion was manageable and the flavor of the lamb and the oats were outstanding.  Lastly we shared a couple deserts which were out of this world.  The sweet creamy polenta w/ blackberry compote and peanut butter ice cream sounded off putting but was really quite nice and came together well.  The show stopper?  Toffee bread pudding w/ cream cheese semifredo and candied walnuts.  I could have eaten just that.  The flavor, the texture, everything worked and was a great finish to an excellent meal.  An added bonus, often after a meal like that I wake up feeling it or have terrible heartburn.  This time I had none of that, possibly in part due to the nice smallish portions?  This was a winner and I really hope they get traction. You can't go there every night but it should be on the short list w/ Kitchen Table and Hen of the Wood for special dinners out.

Go Midd!!!!

Jay About to Pass the F*** Out!

I spent the week in NYC in a series of meetings, I am exhausted.  Of course, rather than coming home and taking it easy... I went out for a super rich dinner and late night beers.  Sure, why not.  Needless to say I feel like poop.  We ate last night at the newish Bluebird Tavern in Burlington.  It was good but very heavy.  There was a bacon filled sausage that was mushy but had nice flavor. The baked Mac&Cheese was nice.  I made my big mistake by going w/ the meat pie in a butter crust for dinner.  Sure, it tasted delicious but I am paying for it today, who knew Montezuma cast his terrible revenge in a meat pie?

In New York my culinary highlight was the sushi joint Soto at I think 357 6th ave, down in the 20s or so.  When you get there it looks very sparse and sterile but I will tell you what, it was delicious!  Very fresh tasting fish and some inventive ideas.  You have to like sea urchin that is the only thing.  I like it but don't love it.  They do a nice job w/ the uni but it is still a challenging dish.  The lobster salad w/ uni is off the charts.  The seared scottish salmon w/ black truffle salt and miso mustard was very nice.  The sweet shrimp was good.  The fluke w/ ponzu was great.  Everything was really very good.  If you are looking for sushi in the city... go ahead and give it a run.

I guess that is about it.  I might have some more smarmy comments next week.  For now I have to go bid goodbye to more meat pie.

Surprising

Thought I would get more hits for the free I-Pad title?  Apparently the internet is more heavily weighted towards sexual pervert nerds vs. technology nerds... Who knew?  So I had a small piece of tissue in the back of my throat that I had removed yesterday.  It only took about 15 minutes but was a very odd experience.  The shot of local anethesia sucks.  Then there is the numb sensation and when the surgeon cuts you it fells like a weird tugging almost like he is sawing your mouth minus the expected pain.  I almost lost it when he was stitching me up though.  It did not hurt but the pulling sensation made me very queesy.  They totally downplayed the pain but it hurts today.  Of course I ignored the advice by eating spicy Mexican and drinking citrusy fruit juice.  Guess, I am the asshole.

So too bad about Davy Jones.  No joke there.  I used to really enjoy the Monkees reruns and I still listen to their music, some of which is really quite good.  So here is a little clip to say farewell...