Dinner Party Suprise!

So my special lady and I were hosting another couple for dinner and as my wife had to work a little bit late (at least that is what she told me!), I had to cruise home and get dinner started. To be fair, meals w/ multiple steps get me flustered, I am not good w/ culinary timing. Well, last night I was home early and all ready. I had my recipes out and was starting to get prepped well in advance of dinner. As I was butchering up some pork I get a knock at the door. It was a mom and 2 junior high aged kids asking if I had a cat? Besides the one I was holding? Nope. Well, I knew where this was going. Our next door neighbor has an outside cat and sure enough, it was now dead. Not the first one by the way. So w/ a squirming cat (can't go outside) in one hand and a butcher's knife in the other I try to give the mom a phone to call the neighbor and leave a msg (they were not home). First phone, dead... second phone, doesn't have the number... transfer the number, mom can't figure out how to use phone... I am typing number, holding cat, knife, watching the pork, and the clock! OK, message left and while I am a little behind I am still ok. Mom comes back to door w/ dead f*ing cat. WTF?!?!? Do I have a towel to wrap the cat up? Sure. Now I am holding my cat (so he does not eat the pork), a meat hammer (haha), and trying to track down a crappy towel. OK, here you go, problem solved. Tick Tock, Tick Tock. Back to pounding meat! Knock at the door... seriously, WTF!?!?!?!?! Can we leave the cat here as that was the message we left? Sure, fine, whatever, get the f***k out of here! Does the mom leave the cat at the end of the deck as I said? Nope... she leave it right next to my front door. Yeah, sure, why not. At this point my wife rolls in and asks me what the hell have I been doing and why is dinner just getting going? Have you been drinking? Were you watching TV? 1/2 an hour w/ dead cat!!!!! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! I am now flustered, yelling,rushing, swearing like Patrick Ramsey. Wife not impressed. You did here about the dead cat right? Scream. Dead cat? Where? Outside I think... oh wait, there it is right there for our guests to step over. Guess I better sort that out. OK, we get dinner going, guests arrive, we pour wine, start eating, telling the dead cat story... all is well, except... There will be a call at some point.

Phone rings in the middle of dinner. Oh crap, I need to brace myself. False alarm, telemarketer. Second call. This one was sad. I do really feel bad for my neighbor. She is nice and was obviously pretty broken up about it. So now I leave the table deliver the cat and proceed to help bury it. Yup... cat funeral in the middle of our dinner party. I swear. Finally, I bury the cat and come back to my house. My wife asks, what were you doing?! Burying a dead f*ing cat!!! Well, you are going to wash your hands right?