Let me stand aside and welcome my first guest blogger...
"Long time reader, first time contributor Mrs. Bird here, back from a week in Jamaica and Miami with Jay About Town, looking 'tan' and feeling rested. Pretty psyched that it was zero degrees this morning in Vermont and looking forward to the predicted high of -2 on Thursday! As promised some commentary about our Jamaican adventures...
First, major props to J-bird for driving us around in the white Suzuki jeep...driving in Jamaica is definitely among the scariest vehicular experiences ever...think: roads three feet wide, stray goats everywhere, kids playing roadside, super aggressive drivers, no signs, on the right side of the car and left side of the road. Terrifying. Second, Red Stripe Light may indeed be superior to regular Red Stripe. Though it doesn't come in the cool brown bottle, it tastes less, well, muddy.
Jake's: This place is amazing. Seriously, it's pretty much perfect. After a two hours of white knuckled terror driving out of Montego Bay through the jungle, over a mountain, avoiding goats, children and men with machine guns, we arrived at Treasure Beach on the South Coast of the island...the hotel sits perched on a cliff with stone steps leading directly into the ocean where you can swim, snorkel or float on the gentle waves. Four nights of delicious food, grilled Caribbean lobster, conch soup and the most delicious coconut bread pudding...the almond orange cake was also fantastic but if I could eat the bread pudding every day going forward, I would certainly consider it. I love Jakes. Two enthusiastic thumbs up with a footnote about the 40 mosquito bites I got and a plea to add more fresh fruit based cocktails to the bar menu.
Catalina Hotel: One thumb down for poor functionality. Where I am supposed to hang my wet towels? On the white leather (pleather?) chair? Get some hooks! Why can't I charge to my room at the coffee bar? Why don't you have any lids for the the to go cups? Do all of your irons leak water all over my clothes or just the one in my room and the one that housekeeping brought me when I complained? One thumb up for great location and pretty groovy decor. Not as unbelievably fabulous as the Delano across the street, where the lobby and pool look something like hotel heaven on earth..."
Thank you Mrs. Bird, that was fabulous. Driving was fun, I think I hit a kid w/ my rearview mirror and splashed 2 women in their Sunday best in Montego Bay. That was fun, the girls were pissed, the kid not so much? I also enjoyed the Appleton Rum Estate. Nice rum, very good tour, clean, tons of free booze! Lots of greenery in Jamaica. Who could possibly pass up psychedelic mushrooms from a strange looking Rasta on a bike also selling wooden turtles, I mean, they have to be on the up and up right?! The Catalina in in Miami by the way, Jakes is in Jamaica. We also stayed at a Hilton for a night in Montego Bay. It was clean, large, and had a water park. It also featured a large selection of ultra fat people at the pool! Yay for all-inclusives!!!! Jamaica, a little scary but still pretty great!
"Long time reader, first time contributor Mrs. Bird here, back from a week in Jamaica and Miami with Jay About Town, looking 'tan' and feeling rested. Pretty psyched that it was zero degrees this morning in Vermont and looking forward to the predicted high of -2 on Thursday! As promised some commentary about our Jamaican adventures...
First, major props to J-bird for driving us around in the white Suzuki jeep...driving in Jamaica is definitely among the scariest vehicular experiences ever...think: roads three feet wide, stray goats everywhere, kids playing roadside, super aggressive drivers, no signs, on the right side of the car and left side of the road. Terrifying. Second, Red Stripe Light may indeed be superior to regular Red Stripe. Though it doesn't come in the cool brown bottle, it tastes less, well, muddy.
Jake's: This place is amazing. Seriously, it's pretty much perfect. After a two hours of white knuckled terror driving out of Montego Bay through the jungle, over a mountain, avoiding goats, children and men with machine guns, we arrived at Treasure Beach on the South Coast of the island...the hotel sits perched on a cliff with stone steps leading directly into the ocean where you can swim, snorkel or float on the gentle waves. Four nights of delicious food, grilled Caribbean lobster, conch soup and the most delicious coconut bread pudding...the almond orange cake was also fantastic but if I could eat the bread pudding every day going forward, I would certainly consider it. I love Jakes. Two enthusiastic thumbs up with a footnote about the 40 mosquito bites I got and a plea to add more fresh fruit based cocktails to the bar menu.
Catalina Hotel: One thumb down for poor functionality. Where I am supposed to hang my wet towels? On the white leather (pleather?) chair? Get some hooks! Why can't I charge to my room at the coffee bar? Why don't you have any lids for the the to go cups? Do all of your irons leak water all over my clothes or just the one in my room and the one that housekeeping brought me when I complained? One thumb up for great location and pretty groovy decor. Not as unbelievably fabulous as the Delano across the street, where the lobby and pool look something like hotel heaven on earth..."
Thank you Mrs. Bird, that was fabulous. Driving was fun, I think I hit a kid w/ my rearview mirror and splashed 2 women in their Sunday best in Montego Bay. That was fun, the girls were pissed, the kid not so much? I also enjoyed the Appleton Rum Estate. Nice rum, very good tour, clean, tons of free booze! Lots of greenery in Jamaica. Who could possibly pass up psychedelic mushrooms from a strange looking Rasta on a bike also selling wooden turtles, I mean, they have to be on the up and up right?! The Catalina in in Miami by the way, Jakes is in Jamaica. We also stayed at a Hilton for a night in Montego Bay. It was clean, large, and had a water park. It also featured a large selection of ultra fat people at the pool! Yay for all-inclusives!!!! Jamaica, a little scary but still pretty great!
4 comments:
I like this Mrs. Bird. More Mrs. Bird! And do tell more about the turtle-selling rasta man. Now that sounds like a vacation.
Mr. and Mrs. Bird, you guys tag teamed the shit out of that blog posting! Kudos to you both.
there you have it folks... Mrs. Bird is a hit!
Mrs. Bird, so nice to see you there... Mr. Bird, glad you like F.U. Penguin
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