Hey-O

Man, the financial mkt is a mess. Between, Lehman Bros., Fannie Mae, general market unease... coming to work is like getting your balls kicked over and over. I might have to sign up for Iraq soon! Couple quick things from Jay About Town. My special lady and I hit up The Daily Planet the other night... the dining room was empty yet it took 45 minutes for 2 burgers. Apparently they killed the cow, butchered it, and then braised the meat! It was a good burger though, so if you have a few hours to kill, give it a try! We have been pretty effective at banning the Church Street Tavern. F*ck that place, the people there suck. Red Square has actually gotten back in the mix. who knew?! Want a fabulous kitchen tool? Try the Kitchen-Aid immersion blender. Great for soups, sauces, anything you need blending?! Who likes scotch? This guy! Try MaCallan 12yr, very earthy, loads of peat!

Another shout out to the Mojo channel. They had an uncut Reform School Girls on Saturday night, fantastically bad! Speaking of bad, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead. Apparently the producers snuck this piece of warm turd out of hell before the devil knew it was gone. My wife bailed 1/2 way through. I tortured myself for the whole 2 hours. Unlikeable characters, crappy dialogue, and a poorly thought out plot. @ thumbs down for the movie, 2 thumbs up for very sexy Marisa Tomei... she is like 50 right? Hot dog!

Football!!! Thanks San Diego... you're lack of heart, defense, and general execution knocked me out of my survivor pool in week 1, there is $25 I will never see again. Super Bowl? Not a chance. So long Tom Brady... damn shame. Pittsburgh looked good, so did Dallas. Head fake of the week? Phillie. That is a 9 win team, no Super Bowl, maybe playoffs. Cincinnati? Gross!!! Ocho Cinco is more like mucho sucko!!!! Hey Peyton Manning, thanks for showing up, you looked great this week! By great I mean, really not great, usually you wait until December for that kind of suckiness. J-E-T-S- Jets Jets Jets 7-8! Don't get too fired up about beating Miami, barely. The Falcons might not be good this season, but they really have some nice building blocks. Tampa Bay, not so much. If your Super Bowl hopes are riding on the arm of Tavaris Jackson? Start watching basketball now, unless you are in Minnesota because the Timberwolves are pretty bad too!

Ok, I am off to massage my ulcer, have a nice week!!!

Stay Out of My Kitchen!!!

So this election is getting kind of interesting, no? We have one under qualified guy preaching "change" but who has no real plan for enacting this "change" save raising my f*ing taxes. On the plus side he has plenty of energy, seems like a leader (and playing the part really is half the job *JFK), and he seems to have picked a VP who is a nice compliment to his strengths. On the other side you have a 90 year old guy who is more like 110 in Vietnam years. He was good 4 years ago, now he has bent over for the squeaky wheels in his party (to be fair he remained loyal and this was the only way he could get nominated), and now I am afraid he has lost his social values and never had any economic sense to begin with. His VP pick? Yikes! That is like when I choose an appetizer... I go through all of the logical picks that I will enjoy, and then when the waitstaff gets there I panic and make a one-off pick. Sure there have been some winners, there have also been some crab dips I wish i could take back. I don't even care about her kid's kid. Of course, the Monica Lewinski thing didn't phase me either... I personally liked Ron Paul, he didn't want to run my life for me. He does look like a creepy guy from a Scooby Doo cartoon though, so that's not such a positive. In the end maybe I can go back and forth a few times and then panic in the voting booth and choose some ya-yo like Jesse Ventura, oh wait, that is Minnesota's trick!

How about them Sox! Making a run w/ a pretty banged up team. How 'bout them Yanks (hahahhahahahahahahahaha)!!!

Football starts tomorrow night. Will I be running updates of the weekend on this blog? You betcha!! I love making fun of world class athletes, makes me feel better about may lazy ass (which is quite tight and attractive by the way)!

Ask me about Facebook, go ahead ask me? Do you really want an ongoing update on my poo schedule and Internet use, and spreadsheet creation, and lease analysis... like more than you already get here?!?! NO WAY... FACEBOOK IS FOR NERDS!!!!

Jay About the Vacation State

So we had our big company golf outing yesterday and let's just say I am not on top of my game today... If this post borders on incoherent please bare w/ me. Last week however was great! My special lady and I packed up the car and headed north to Belfast Maine where my family has a camp. "Camp" is a funny term. Some camps are 8 bedroom ocean front cottages, some camps are glorified wooden tents. Ours falls closer to the later category, which is actually nice. Don't get me wrong, our camp is nice, it is right on a beautiful lake, and my family has put a lot of work into it... but there is no phone, no TV, and you shower in lake water. After getting my stones kicked for the last several months, this setting was perfect! It was sunny, warm, and f*ing quiet!! I was able to read a few books, and the wife and I had some nice alone time. The town of Belfast has also gone through a nice renaissance. We actually couldn't get in to a few places w/out reservations on Saturday night?! A few Belfast highlights... The Docksider, the lobster roll is fresh and delicious. They have a nice relaxed atmosphere and solid food at decent prices. Service? Well, it is homey... We have eaten there a bunch and our favorites are; the lobster roll, the lobster melt (essentially a lobster roll smothered in melted cheese), "the works" burger (mustard, onions, lettuce, tomato, and pickles on a great roll), and the Clam Chowder (holy cream and butter!). All winners. Another spot for good food and a good price is Darby's. I had a pretty ok rendering of the old favorite fish n' chips. Very lightly breaded and the haddock was very well cooked. Plus they made a great margarita w/ fresh squeezed lime juice, no sour mix! My wife's Tofu Pad Thai was ok, not great... a little heavy on the peanut sauce, a little light on the bean sprouts. If you want to cook it yourself or go really old school, try Young's Lobster Pound. They have great lobsters and will cook them for you there, or pack 'em seafood for a short drive home. Clams, potato salad, and coleslaw are all good as well. The Lookout Pub? They are right, look out! Pub food, ok at best, and pretty bad service. Chase's Daily is a great breakfast spot. My lady had some great breakfast burritos and I had a fantastic chard and feta omelet. The ginger peach smoothie was also money! Very fresh, very clean food. Our favorite though is the Three Tides down on the water. They have a nice indoor bar, a great patio dining area, and a cool outdoor open bar area w/ a bocce court. Yeah, my wife beat me in bocce... she is an excellent bowler! The food is pretty good, not great. They do have fresh oysters you can watch them shuck, and fresh lobsters and clams. Other items are not as good, such as the lobster quesadilla which was a little limp. The homemade beers are really good, 2 IPAs which are both really good. They also have a well stocked and very solid bar... perfect dry martini. Want a little something special? Try the $18 Lucid absinthe. Sure it is pricey but the process is fun, the liquor is interesting (tastes like Pernod, the anise), and it is 120 proof so you will get a buzz!!! Overall Belfast gets 2 big thumbs up.

We also took a little tour of Bar Harbor. Beautiful area. The ocean is amazing, there are some really cool neighborhoods, and plenty of short hikes w/ amazing views (and wild blueberries all over the place). We stayed at the Claremont... Beautiful buildings, location, and a great bathroom and bed. The service SUCKS! Bad bartender, non-english speaking waitstaff, and dip shits at the front desk. Plus they serve fake maple syrup. It's Maine for crap sake. That's like serving fake orange juice in Florida... it's un-American! We did have a nice Greek lunch at Cafe 2 Eat a Pita. They had a nice feta spread w/ delicious pita chips and a pretty good BLT w/ avocado. No mayo on the BLT though... They fresh squeezed orange juice is really good as well. We also had a nice dinner @Fiddler's Green. We started out w/ a drink and chatted up some locals. My wife had an interesting jalapeno cucumber kiwi martini...it was something. We then made our way to dinner, a smoked fish app which was pretty good, especially the salmon. I then had a very well cooked fillet and my tag team partner had scallops which were very nice. We also put down a slice of blueberry pie and some ginger sorbet. Yeah, we got fat last week!

All in all it was a very relaxing vacation. And now here I am hung over and wishing I was still at the Three Tides!!! Just another instance of the Man keeping me down!!!

Want to see my shuttlecock?

Boo-Yeah!!! I have been watching the Olympics a little bit this week and I am baffled. Swimming, track and field, basketball, even gymnastics are all great... boxing? the scoring is stupid. You can knock a guy out and only get 1 point, tap him in the forehead and you could also get a phantom point. Badminton? Ping-Pong? Beach volleyball? When did the Olympics turn into an international lawn game party in the Hampton's! Synchronized diving? Don't even get me started... I am sure it is very difficult but come on. It is tough that the games are in China as well, all of the good stuff happens at 11:45PM. I need my beauty sleep for crap's sake! This face doesn't get this beautiful on it's own, it takes work! Plus, is anyone really surprised that China might be cheating? Here is one guy who is not. I feel bad for the gymnasts though, they really look unhealthy which is sad. I am digging the Michael Phelps saga, that guy is a pretty amazing swimmer, he just blows everyone away. Pretty exciting stuff.

On a related note (and I am talking forth cousin's roommate related) my buddy and I rolled down the the River City for our high school alumni soccer game. It is always a really fun time, this year being no exception. PM managed to not get hurt, neither did I, we had a fun game, the sun came out for the first time in 8 months, and we had a few beers and dogs afterwards. It is kind of strange how I have a real feeling of team unity and connection w/ my high school team and even the guys that are older and younger that I don't know that well, but I really dislike most of the people I played college soccer w/. College managed to suck the fun out of the game. So thanks for that.

Fun times w/ Russia right? They are like a hedge fund trader... they get a little oil money and start pushing their weight around. The minute the oil money runs out though, they will realize they have no infrastructure, and corrupt government, and will be back to buying blue jeans on the black market for $500 a pair. But in a few years, the natural resource money will come back and they will be all tough again. Enjoy it while it lasts douche bags. For an interesting perspective check out the Pravda newspaper. It is pretty amusing.

So my last thought is a farewell for the next week or so, I am headed to Maine for vacation and none too soon. I am a little burned out from work, and really need some time to unwind. I would like to leave you w/ one of the best videos I have seen in awhile, there are plenty of F-bombs so if that is a problem for you... go F**** yourself!!! just kidding.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoItDdjsRtQ

1 Last Night

So my special lady has been gone for the last 9 days, and finally returns tomorrow. I have really enjoyed my "me" time this last week+ but I am really looking forward to seeing Mrs. Bird. I have not eaten well, not slept well, my body is all beaten up from soccer games, and I have a huge mosquito bite on my forehead that looks like a weird mutant third eye! So what does a hot swinger like myself do w/ 10 days to himself? Well, I have played a few soccer games, watched some bad movies, went to 1 party, and drank about 200 cans of beer (that is an exaggeration, really only 50-70). Oh yeah, I did one load of laundry! Who wants a high five?!

So a couple of random about town thoughts. I watched Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo this weekend. I thought it was funny, even better than the first one. I have to warn potential viewers though that I enjoy fart jokes, pube jokes, and making fun of Doogie Howser. So proceed with caution! Just heard from our intern that she saw mice crawling around the cheese section at the Price Chopper on rt. 7...OUT OF THE ROTATION!!! I made a really nice blueberry coffee cake on Saturday. The key, sprinkle brown sugar and sliced or crushed almonds on the bottom of the loaf pan for a nice caramelized crust. Booh Yeah!!! Ever played "Rock Band" on Wii? It is f-ing hard. My drum skills are not so good. On the bright side I made a sweaty fool of myself in front of a bunch of people I did not really know well, so that was fun! I really like the wings at Reuben James but the beer was flat and I think on my 12th trip to the men's room the next day I parted w/ a kidney. On the bright side, 2 hrs countless beers and 2 dozen wings for 3 guys? 38$!! I used the money I saved for toilet paper!!! Back in the semi-rotation, Esox! Seriously. We rocked out there Thursday night. They have pitchers and Wild Turkey shots. That's really all I remember, but it seemed fun?

Enough already w/ Brett Favre. I am tired of the story and really don't care what soon to be not Super Bowl winning team he will play for this season.

There was a rash of burglaries on my street this week. Burglars busted in while people were home and sleeping. What is this country coming to, there is no where safe anymore. Next stop for J-bird? The gun store!!

Osama Bin-laden's driver was convicted of... parking illegally in an infidel zone?

It has been raining here for 3 straight months. It is like Seattle, w/out the ocean, coffee, and meth addicts!

and here is the video of the day (which may stamp my passport to hell)...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkvI4jdciho&feature=related

J-Bird the Part Time Bachelor

Yup, here I am sitting in VT while my special lady is off in Alaska. Am I jealous? Your damn right I am! Work is pretty tough, the financial markets are like one long country song... my returns have left me, my pricing power is gone, and I have turned to cheap beer to ease my pain! Where is Garth Brooks when I need him!!!!! This weekend I actually slowed my boozing down ever so slightly. So Jay was about town looking for lunch around 2pm on Sunday in downtown Burlington and here is the rundown. We head over to a hippy joint Stone Soup... apparently not open at 2pm on a Sunday. Why would you be open on a Sunday? Who eats out on a Sunday? Oh yeah, all of the hundreds of tourists on the one main strip in the biggest city in VT!!!!!!!! Ok, so we decide to cruise over to newly re-installed to the rotation, Smokejacks. Closing, the reason being the chef was having difficulties. Seriously. What the F*ck does "the chef is having difficulties" mean?! Like the oven is broken? The water main is busted? The chef has diarrhea? What?! Ok, strike 2. So we head over to Mirrabelles. They close at 2:30 but it is only 2:00. There is only 1 other table busy. So the waitress who has already mentally checked out tries to put us @ a very special table. The one w/ shit all over it and a cluster of Cheerios some kid dumped under the table. The restaurant was dirty and smelled bad. Needless to say we bolted. Strike 3!!! So we went to Leunigs. It was pretty good. My lady had a pasta Carbonera, it was heavy but good. I went w/ a really chunky and delicious gazpacho. I also rocked the duck frites. They were only so-so, the maple dipping sauce was good though. Oh yeah, I also had a "French 75". If you go to Leunigs have the French 75, if you don't like it I will personally fight you.

One last note, I just finished reading The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson. It intertwines the stories of the World's Fair in Chicago circa 1893 w/ the tale of a mass murderer prowling the Chicago streets at the same time. Great story, well told... 2 big thumbs up. The murderer also spent a little time in Burlington just before being caught for his crimes.

So w/ that I bid you adieu, I need to drink some beers and make a mess of my house, and watch bad movies... in my underwear.

So uh....

Beerfest in Burlington... shit. I think the scientific term for my state that night was... wasted! Great beers, fun time. Glad that event is only once a year though because it is a killer. On a high note, Junior's pizza is great when you are drunk!!

In Vermont, why does the ATM machine ask if you want to transact in Espanol? Seriously, how many Spanish speaking people live in VT?! On the other hand we do live 1hr from a country that speaks French. Probably don't want them using the cash machine! Think the dollar is beaten down enough? There are so many Canadians in the U.S. I am starting to think about wearing cologne so I can fit in!

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is a fantastic movie. A real oldie but goodie. We saw the Batman movie this weekend as well. My special lady liked the first one better but I thought this new one was great. Even w/ all of the hype it was just really an entertaining film. 2 BIG thumbs up.

I hope this rain keeps up... I was starting to think my lawn would turn brown!

Need a tent? We picked one up from Cabella's and I am a big fan. I tend to think if you need outdoor gear, get what hunters would get. They spend a ton of time outside, killing stuff.

Well, gotta go... beers out there certainly cannot drink themselves. They NEED ME!!!!!