I have not watched that show Girls on HBO in a couple years. I happened to flip onto an episode last night and there was a little bit on a hipster coffee spot in the city. It was pretty funny and by now a pretty tired joke on the cliche of coffee baristas as the biggest D-bags in the service industry. Like many stereotypes... this one is largely accurate. In an amusing twist of fate I happened into our local hipster coffee spot Maglianero. It s a warmish day and I was into a walk. I found a random punch card in my desk and stuffed it in my pocket (why not, I like the potential for free shit). So I roll in and peruse the scene. A bunch of folks in intentionally over priced shabby clothing sitting on a Mac Air designing some website nobody will ever look at (just like this one!). I was called up to the counter and ordered my coffee to go, slapping down my punch card and a fiver. The woman at the counter said, "Oooh, I am not sure we even have that stamp anymore?". Then the smug creeped up from behind the drip machine to hit me over the head w/ a steel chair of douchebaggery! "Yeah, have you been around in the past 5 years? We haven't had that card forever. Are you from out of town?". WTF? I was in shock. I pride myself in usually reacting to these situation w/ a terrible response most likely punctuated w/ a very personal and derogatory response and/or a loud F-bomb. But the woman who was waiting on me was so nice. There was also a nice woman behind me patiently waiting for her order. I also was unsure if I would catch the wrath of the 2 "artists" not working at the coffee counter who looked at me w/ obvious disdain. Now to be fair, I am local, I work down the street. The coffee shop has also only been open for 3 years so I am not sure where they accepted these special cards prior to that. 3, I was not dressed in a particularly aggressive manner (backward ball cap, guess khakis, boat shoes no socks, Metallica T) and was using my please and thank yous so I am not sure where the attitude was coming from. Whatever, I composed myself and shook it off.
My server was still very nice and asked if I wanted a new card or to put my phone number in the system (which she said was much more complicated than the punch card). She then asked I-willed Jerry if my 4 existing stamps could be transferred. To which he replied, "Sure, do you think you will be back to Burlington in the next year or so?" I am actually furious typing that sentence so you can imagine how mad I was at point of sale. This tall goofy f***stick w/ his manicured boyband beard, shitty $600 sweater his mom bought him, was here trying to pretend he was not as obviously bald as he is and sniping at me for no reason other than I had an older punch card? F*** Him!!! I was about to explode. My random insult generator was scrolling, my command of all the curses in the the English language was on point... I was ready!!!! But then I looked at the sweet person just trying to sell a coffee in front of me and I said, "I, try to get here when I can." At which point I gave her my info for the system, and took my coffee.
Why is it that there is always some A-hole at these "up market" coffee shops who thinks $8/hour and a knowledge of beans gives them license to just troll the very people they depend on to pay for their f*ing 1 gear bicycle? Well, that guy got me again. The coffee is not really even that good. Joke is on them, I won't be back for who knows, maybe a year. And I certainly will forget to enter my card info. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go meditate.
