Odds and Ends

My special lady is under the weather and I feel bad about that.  Last night to rest up we had a little food and watched a movie... Love and Other Drugs.  This movie has Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyleydnfahlen and is for all intents and purposes a love story.  Needless to say I was not super jazzed going in.  Hello Angry Birds!!  But, I must say it was a pretty good movie.  The acting was solid, the story was interesting, Anne Hathaway's boobs are great (so is Jake's butt!).  We both liked it quite a bit.  And unicorns kick ass!!  Just kidding, that is a really obscure reference.  This is a great date movie, the ladies will love the touching love affair... the gentlemen will enjoy dick jokes, the fat brother and the nudity.  1 1/2 thumbs up.

I was walking up to the office yesterday and it was raining so hard that even though I had a rain jacket... it was raining so hard my pants soaked through up to my ass.  That sucked.  I had to change into gym shorts.  So I was the asshole in a button down and shorts.  How many questions did I get as to why I was wearing shorts?  128.  The air conditioner that was broken the day before was also now working full force.  So I was wearing shorts in an office w/ the temp set at 25 degrees.  Not a great day.

The other night I also had my first Buffalo Wild Wings experience.  A few of us got together to drink beer and watch hockey.  It is a great place to watch sports... there are like 100 TVs in there.  The beer is cold and fresh tasting and there are plenty of choices.  The food is another thing.  For one thing, the menu has the caloric listing for everything.  In a joint w/ wings, quadruple chili burgers and salads covered in cheese sauce... you do not want to know the calories you are taking down.  Just so you know, it's alot!!!  I had some wings, they were ok, not great.  The hot BBQ sauce was pretty spicy.  I would go back to sit at the bar and watch a ball game... I would probably try to avoid the chow.  Just sayin'.

Jay About Movies

Had a nice long weekend, went to see my folks on Easter which was nice.  We also had a movie/dinner shindig and that was fun.  Heck, Friday I rolled solo w/ a day off.  I slept in, had some breakfast, watched the Price is Right, did a little housework, and even read a book for a little while.  It was great.  I am reading Bill Simmons basketball tome and it is pretty great.  I am a pretty big b-ball fan and I like his writing style quite a bit so it all adds up to mucho enjoyment for me.  Plus you can pick it up and put it down w/out losing plot or anything. 

So this post is about 2 movies we recently watched.  On Saturday our event was Spanish themed so we picked out a Guillermo del Toro movie... The Devil's Backbone.  I will give anyone $10 if you can tell me what the f*ck this movie was about!  Now to be fair I had a little sangria before we got started and I do not speak Spanish but seriously?!  I also think a thorough background in the communist regime in Spanish and the resulting war would be helpful but still?!  I did not hate it and thought it was fine but I seriously lost the message and thought a few of the characters became caricatures of Spanish archetypes.  Yeah, whose the smart guy now?! Huh? HUH?!?!  1 thumb hitchhiking to confusion town.

Last night was themed "A Night in the Noosk".  I am never really going  in the direction of Winooski although it is a cool little downtown w/ a few bars and restaurants and it is worth spending more time there for sure.  Well my buddy T-Pain and I went across the river after work and hit up the Monkey Bar for a whiskey and water.  It was actually pretty busy for a Monday at 5:30?  We joked around and had a couple drinks until my special lady showed up... that's when the laughs stopped.  Just kidding. She did have a drink w/ us then we cruised over to Tiny Thai for a bite.  It was cheap and acceptable as usual.  Then it was back to the mainland to relax for the evening.  We decided to watch an HBO movie on demand and the choice was Invictus.  What a piece of crap... I spent the whole movie playing Angry Birds.  How do you make a sports movie revolving around Nelson Mandela and the coming together of post Apartheid South Africa emotionally vacant?  The acting was wooden.  The movie was not short but it never fully developed any of the characters.  You never really became attached to anyone even the Mandela character.  The end was ok when the big rugby match goes down but who the hell knows the rules to rugby?  So you sit there and watch dudes grapple, then the whistle blows, then they kick the ball, the the whistle blows, then they grapple but nothing really happens, the some guy runs 2 feet and is tackled, then the whistle blows... that went on for 30 minutes.  It was like watching high school field hockey but played by soccer hooligans who are not allowed to throw punches.  I was bored.  Probably would have fallen asleep except Angry Birds kept me awake.  1 thumb kind of angling down.  This movie should have been Sylvester Stallone Victory but was more like watching steam come off a warm turd. So there.

It's My Favorite Game

What's OenoSteve rocking today?!  Could it be chartreuse?  Violet? neon green polka dots?  Nope... Peach.  The answer is peach.

Couple quick thoughts... so France is sending military advisers to help the Libyan rebels?  Should we all just concede to Mommar now?  Is that too joke too easy?  If I keep asking questions will this ever get funny?

Apparently my I-phone is keeping track of "everywhere" I go.  How much data do they need about my bathroom, my couch, my office, and the bar at the Farmhouse?

Am I more than a little grossed out by all of the preggo Mariah Carey pictures on the internet?  Yes, yes I am.

What the f*ck is going on w/ all of these weirdos doing weird shit on the interwebs and then becoming famous and most likely moderately wealthy?  Is it really all I have to do... post a video of myself singing Hall and Oats songs while doing a foxtrot in a sumo suit and spraying myself w/ mustard?  'Cause I'll do it!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5D6IkDRvx18

By the way... Oates of Hall and Oates 6/3 in Essex!

Duuuuude it's 420 Man!

Oh yeah, I set my alarm to wake up at 4:20AM because I did not want to miss it!  HAHA!  It is actually cold and rainy up here so I am not sure the hippies will be gathering on the UVM green today.  I might freak a couple stoned kids out when I drive by them later this afternoon on rt 7 and harsh their buzz by giving them a disapproving head shake and waving my angry fist at them!  Little will they know I don't care about their life choices but their slow indecisive driving cannot be tolerated!!!!

Jay About the Ol' Trunkey in the Tradesmen's Entrance!

I am possibly ashamed of that title but I think the reference is a good one so it stays! So why would I be dropping that classic?  An Ode to the English my friends.  Last night I had a "business meeting" then dropped off our latest Dexter episode at Waterfront Video.  The first thing I noticed was the line out the door at the post office of last second suckers mailing their taxes.  I have been doing that online for awhile and this year we got a tax guy.  I hope I have not jinxed myself into an audit?!

So as I walk past these people and think to myself, "why don't you just pay the $30 and file these through Turbotax?", I notice it... Union Jacks!  I have seen this fish and chips dive in the strip mall many times and now seemed like the perfect time to check it out.  My lady had plans and I was on my own for chow.  I should have been alarmed that there was not anyone in the shop (seriously not one person) nor did it look like anyone had been there for awhile.  That is never a good sign.  If the food is good people will find their way in.  Oh well, maybe they dominate the Subaru dealership lunch crowd. I glanced at the expansive menu but when you are in a fish and chips place for the first (and possibly only) time you get the fish and chips right?  There are tables but the decor is nothing special and it is a little dingy, although you could get a decent view of the kitchen and it seemed ok.  I took a gander at some supposed English rag that is imported or possibly even published in San Diego while I waited.  Nothing special.  They all seem pretty fired up about the upcoming nuptials.  Better happen fast, Prince William is losing real estate on the top of his head at an alarming pace.  Hey, I know from experience dude!  After a short wait they wrapped my food in a clean white piece of sandwich paper and then the requisite newspaper tossed a couple malt vinegar packets and a tartar sauce in the bag and I was on my way.

Now to an extent my plan was fatally flawed because I ordered fried food and had a 20 minute drive ahead of me leaving too much dead space for the fish and chips to get soggy which to an extent they did.  The fish was not too fishy and the batter was pretty good.  The grease tasted a little un fresh and the whole thing was pretty heavy.  The best fried fish always has the fried goodness but the grease is regularly changed and you do not feel like you are eating 16349339873 calories of fried stuff (even though you are).  I also generally like a piece of fish that is flaky and looks really fresh where this one was most likely frozen for an undetermined amount of time.  The fries were also ok but I should have eaten them post haste.  Overall the service was friendly and prompt, it was not too expensive and the food was about as expected for a strip mall English fast food joint in Vermont.  I'd give it one fried thumb sideways, I have nothing against it but am not sure I have a return engagement in the near future.  I have already booked a space to watch the royal wedding so don't worry about it.  McKee's Pub!  I am pretty sure that is English or Irish... whatever, they are like family right?!

Jay About Bad Decisions!

I live in Vermont.  Northern Vermont.  It was a choice, I have no one to blame but myself.  So we line up the first VASL soccer game of the preseason for this past Saturday.  In many places in the good old US of A it is warming up, trees and flowers are blooming, people are cruising around in t-shirts.  We get to the field and it is probably 38 degrees with a howling wind and a little stinging rain.  OK, this sucks.  I am 30+yrs old and my body is not as loose as it used to be.  In cold damp weather it is hard to warm up.  But ok, this is no problem.  Then it starts to snow.  Yup, this is starting to really suck but no problem. We get started and it is butt ass cold.  Within 5 seconds I take a rocket shot off my left quad which hurts like a mo-fo!  Did I mention we are playing on artificial turf?  Yeah, it is hard and fast... real fast!  Well, at least it could not getting any worse.  Oh wait... It then started dropping hail. F*ing hail!  Stinging, cold, slippery... yeah, this sucked pretty bad.  And we lost.  The only upside was watching some kid on the other team get called for a foul and then turn into a screaming, swearing, spitting roid freak.  Seriously, he started foaming at the mouth and dropping f-bombs like a maniac.  Did I mention this was a preseason game that did not count for anything?

One other thing for this post.  My special lady and I dropped into a large box grocery store and realized how snobby we had become.  This Hannaford's had long aisles filled w/ chips, candy, and soda.  Fat people cruised around w/ carts full of faux food.  One of the major categories for an aisle was "drink mix".  What the f*ck is drink mix and does it need it's own section?!  The capper was when we got in line we could smell the dude in front of us from a few feet away.  He was already drunk mid afternoon.  I am guessing the last shower experience was possibly 3 days ago?  We had his money out well in advance and could not wait to give the checkout girl the cash and cruise out w/ his sole purchase... 6 pack of beer.  I was pretty uninterested in seeing him later in the parking lot or out on the road.  Probably a good call, when we saw him drive by in the lot his car looked like it was no stranger to a bump and grind or two.  Sad really.

Did I mention it was hailing up here the other day.  F*ING HAILING!!!!!

Hey, What is OenoSteve Rocking Today?!

Yeah, it has been a slow week.  So let's talk about my man OenoSteve and his super cool shirt.  Seriously, check this thing out!  It is like Where's Waldo?!  Notice in this particular shot the banana... just sayin'.  What this picture does not capture is the attitude, the panache, the hilarious 70's leather jacket that accompanied the ensemble this morning.

Here's to you OenoSteve, moving fashion forward into... the future!  BTW... f*ing google blogger does not let me turn the damn picture around so yes... I know it is sideways.

Jay About to get the F* out of here!

But I figured before I do I would put out a couple quick thoughts as I have not posted this week.  We ate at Bluebird last night and it was good.  It was the first time I had been there since they changed chefs.  I had a Guinea hen that was nice, and a parsnip soup w/ ham that was really very good.  I would say that as usual it was pretty salty and that the wait was ridiculously long... but it was overall a good experience.

This past weekend we stopped over in Vergennes and grabbed a bite to eat at 3 Squares.  My special lady and I shared a turkey panini.  It was crispy, buttery and overall good but does it really take 30 minutes to make a sandwich when the restaurant is only 1/2 full?  Seems to be a trend...

Last thing, if you were wondering what OenoSteve's shirt looked like today? Navy blue w/ light blue and pink stripes.  Yeah, it is really something.  I have to go now before my farts turn lumpy!

Jay About Winning Duh!

Yup, big win for the good guys last night.  You are reading the work of a member of the Essex Men's recreational basketball championship team.  Yeah, that's right... champions! I know what you are thinking, sh*t J-Bird, you are the f*ing man!  Correct. I am.

The rest of this week has been brutal.  It is painfully slow in the mkt. I have to spend my days listening to Obama and Boehner engage in a public slap fight.  It's your fault the economy sucks.  No, it's your fault!  No, we want to cut medicare! But we want to provide coverage but raise taxes!

You are both wrong!  Stop giving yourselves raises and spending $3000 on a f*ing toilet seat in the state house!  Meanwhile the Red Sox look worse than both of these a-holes.  They can't hit, pitch, play defense and they do dumb things in the field.  So much for that 120 win season. 

Ok, I need to find a happy place.  How about we get back to the fun game... what is Oenosteve wearing today?  Give up?  Me too... I have no idea what color this shirt is... red?  Orange?  Peach?

Jay about dead horse beatin'!

So sticking w/ my work and fecal matters theme... I have noticed of late a phenomena I will call "crap nappers".  We have 2 stalls for business in the men's room in our office and 75% of the time you are in there you will be sharing some time w/ someone.  I think all bathrooms no matter how clean are meant to be used quickly, effeciently, and for the business they were intended.  Sure, there are times you may be in there longer than others but you are at least trying to get out of Dodge.  Well, crap nappers are an interesting breed.  I have been in the bathroom lately and beside me I know someone is in the next stall.  I know this.  But, it is deadly silent.  No obvious noises, wiping, page turning from a financial times article (or Nat. Geo. of mine they are about to pilfer), not even breathing.  Sometimes I worry and think about calling for help incase they are dead?! Ultimately I wonder if they are just sleeping?  Weird right?  If you are there the whole time I am and are not doing anything at all (let alone your intended purpose)... then what the f*** are you in there doing?!  If you are a crap napper and reading this, leave a response, I am curious?

OK, enough of that unpleasantness... had some apps at Bistro 156 last night.  OK, not great.  The buffalo wings were fine.  The pulled pork nachos needed more pork and were a little soggy.  I got a kazoo this weekend. It is great.  Pretty sure my co-workers hate me a little more than before.  that's ok, I will serenade them w/ my kazoo!  We were down in Manchester, VT to meet the in-laws on Saturday.  Suprising amount of tri-state guidos.  Lots of steroids, fake boobs, and tight t-shirts w/ dragons on them.  Not many necks to speak of?  We met up at Depot 62 which is a cool place.  It is a furniture store w/ a turkish cafe inside. The furniture is expensive but they had some cool pieces.  As for the chow.  I had a delicious piece of baklava and a thick Turkish coffee.  Some of the other things such as the hummus and the pizzas also looked very good.  I would definitely go back. 

Sunday we spent 2 hours cleaning the fridge.  Yup... the fridge.  Why?  Cause it looked like Zuul was holding court in there waiting for the keymaster.  Can you guess the obscure reference?

Not sure why I found this so amusing but I will leave you with...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWNLPl7oIRc&feature=relmfu