F*ing Monday Part 1000

OK, President's jet flies around NY w/out mentioning to anyone it is just a photo op? Swine flu comes out of nowhere to become a pandemic? Mexico City has a huge earthquake? Yeah, today wasn't a weird day or anything. On the bright side they couldn't turn the air conditioning on at my office and it was like 100 degrees in here. Yeah, cost savings. Elevator was broken today as well. It's like working in Mexico, w/out the pig flu!!!

Miss Teen S. Carolina Weighs in on the Credit Crisis

Recently Slater aka Mario Lopez was able to catch up w/ Miss Teen South Carolina, Caitlin Upton to get her thoughts on the credit crisis that has gripped our financial markets...

Slater: So Caitlin, this economic meltdown has really been difficult. Some people attribute it to a credit crisis in this country. What do you think?

Miss Teen South Carolina: Well Slater, I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, people out there in our nation don't have credit and, uh, I believe that our, uh, lending like such as, uh, the Citigroup and, uh, the JP Morgan, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our foreclosed mortgages over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help the Mexico and should help the France and the Canada countries, so we will be able to build up our commercial real estate such as...

Slater: Are you f*ing kidding me?

Miss California: Except gay people... they can't have loans.

***just kidding, Miss California got lobbed a hand grenade and frankly, while I do not agree with her, I certainly do not begrudge her for her beliefs. Miss South Carolina? Well, a bit harder to defend that gem.

BTW, after watching Tim Wakefield pitch 2 gems for the Sox this last week I am convinced he is the most underrated pitcher in baseball. He can start and complete games, pitch out of the bullpen, pitch on short rest, long rest, big games, throw away games. By all accounts a good guy and probably can keep pitching at a decent level for another 3 years. All time great and yet largely unheralded player. Other underrated folks? How about Dave Grohl? Drummer for a band that changed music in the nineties and now a frontman/guitar player for another long lived and always solid Foo Fighters. How about Val Kilmer? Jim Morrison, nailed it. Ice man, nailed it. Guy from Top Secret, nailed it. Soon to be governor of New Mexico. You go Val!

Duuuuuude...420 Man!

Yup, it's that magical time of year where college kids and others get baked for no real reason, then do nothing else productive for the rest of the day! Good times!!! I miss those college days, my foosball skills have really gone to shit these last few years.

Check out the new record store in Burlington on Bank St. Good collection, the guy will give you some pointers and a decent deal. Records are in pretty good shape. I enjoyed perusing the goods.

Red Sox, coming around...Celtics, not so much... Bruins, very tough... Yankees,hahahahahaha!!

Now if you will excuse me, I need to slip out of work and find some Big Red gum and a bag of Funions (just kidding)!

Jay About April 10-17

Here is a review of my week... It sucked like a vampire. You know, because they suck your blood? No? Ok, it sucked like a very expensive vacuum... because cheap ones tend to actually just shift dirt around?

So back to the vampire thing. Not sure I mentioned this before but my cat got the itch. We were in the house the other day and out of the corner of my eye I see this mouse climbing up on the chimney in the middle of our house (old farmhouse). Of course Boomer does not see or smell the mouse. I learned my lesson after the last failed attempt so I brought the cat over and made sure he saw the mouse... and then I bashed it w/ a shoe. I am a trained mouse hunter, what can I say? So the mouse hits the floor and the cat grabs it in its mouth and takes off leaving a trail of blood in his wake. I had to chase him all around and finally corner him in a room and then take the dead mouse away. The Boom now has blood lust! He bites us all the time and is not as interested in his cat food. It's GO TIME!!!!

So for your weekend...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ3oHpup-pk

Speaking of Naming Things...

I have decided to name my 'stache. I will call it the KamchatkaStache, after the very large burly Kamchatka bear from... well, Kamchatka. Makes sense if you have seen my very full and manly 'stache. This of course is not to be confused w/ Scotty Mustache and his dirt squirrel, I am naming that one Flying SquirrelStache.

http://www.kamchatkapeninsula.com/bear.html

BTW... I am calling it, Boloco in Burlington has 6 months to live. After a brief resurgence they are back to being empty and largely inept. The 2 dudes working there today? Well, one just seemed to wander around in the back and then when he went to do something, he spilled some brown liquid on the floor from a broken plastic bag. The other stoned guy? Yeah, he was eating while making my burrito and then after wrapping it in foil, dropped it on the ground. The other 3 people in the joint did not seem to notice. The burrito itself? Yeah, it sucked. Lumpy, and very gross chicken. This whole sequence happened @11:50AM, prime lunchtime. Seriously, I do not want free burritos, I don't have an ax to grind... I just want that place to make a decent burrito which is one of the easiest foods on earth. For now though, it is Bol-oh-No!!!

And Another Thing!

I see all of these big houses w/ names like; Airy Pines, Blue Spruce, Crested Titmouse, Shady Lane. If they can have names, why can't my mansion? I am soliciting names... Go ahead, get in the mix, post a name! The postings have been pretty light lately... must be the recession

Here Comes Peter Cottontail

Hoppin' Down the Bunny Trail! Wow, it sure sucks to be back @ work today after a nice long quiet weekend... I had the whole day Friday to myself and it was great. Met up w/ a buddy for lunch and a couple of beers @ Sauce (pulled pork was great), then I did a little house cleaning, some raking, read a little bit, then watched a movie and fell asleep! The rest of the weekend was pleasant as well. My folks came up for lunch on Saturday, and we had a nice meal @ Leunigs (try the beignets), went to a Toubab Krewe concert that night (fun but not the best I have seen), and lounged about on Sunday. Ladybird made a top notch buffalo burger chili. Buffalo is pretty good, lean but nice flavor.

Few other notes... Yeah, I am rocking a 'stache for the spring. You should too! The Sox are looking a little shaky this spring, not as bad as the Yankees though (beating the Royals no big feat). The Master's was great. Sure, the play was not great on Sunday but the suspense was great and Cabrera seems like a solid guy. Know what? You do not f*ck w/ the USA! Good for the military taking those Somali pirates out. That whole story was great, the captain was incredibly brave. Bailing from the ship in the dark off the coast of Somalia and trying to swim for it? Solid!

Saw Zack and Miri Make a Porno the other night... it was funny. Good, not great. 1 thumb up. I think the Seth Rogen era might be coming to an end.

Jay About Arizona

Here we go, part II of the amazing week long mancation odyssey! I headed out last Sunday w/ a couple work buddies to a spot just west of Phoenix called the Wigwam Resort (a Starwood property). To the best of my memory, there was something like 300+ rooms over 70 acres including a nice pool, several restaurants, a pool table room, 3 golf courses, and a very large outdoors chess table. We rocked out in a 2 room suite that was pretty big. My bed was very comfortable, even Scotty Mustache seemed ok on the pull out couch. The water pressure was fine although the water was usually luke warm. Interesting how in the middle of the desert, the grass was always green and well kept and sprinklers were going non-stop. Just sayin'. Like most resorts the food was not great (including a super sucky Starbucks in the main lobby), but the bars were fine, the service was pretty solid, and people were always around to take care of your needs. The business center was ok but the printer did not work. The concierge only worked until 5PM which was annoying, and they sent us to a really bad Mexican place. 1 thumb up for hotel, it was good, far from great. The golf courses were pretty solid. The service was good, we got a ride each morning from a dude on a golf cart and an ear piece, they cleaned your gear after the round... the whole 9 yards. We played the Red Course the first day. It was a pretty good course, a good warm up. Day 2 was the Blue Course... short and hard as heck. Try pitching a ball onto a sideways postage stamp surrounded by sand. Needless to say I had a tough day. The second 18 of the day was much easier after 7 beers... Our final round was the Gold Course. It was like the Blue but longer. I might have shot a 400. I did launch a few balls in the neighbors backyards. BTW, the ponds were stocked w/ huge Carp! They looked like little alligators, it was crazy. The restaurant was solid at the club house, good service, decent food (I has good pulled pork sliders and a good burger), and cold beer. The greens fees were also very reasonably priced $49/59. 1 1/2 thumbs up. We had fun.

Food? Well, 1 night we ate at the Morton's in Phoenix. It took us 2 hours to find it, think the opening scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark. The service was solid other than the fat waiter who kept pushing food on us like my grandmother. The steaks were great though, I had the Chicago chop, cooked perfectly. The sides were also very good, you know the standards... creamed spinach, hash browns. I was stuffed! 1 3/4 thumbs up. We also tried a little Mexican at Manny's 1 night. I will say this, I had Manny's Revenge the next day. 1 thumb down. We also had Wigwam recommended Macayo's. Beer was cold, food was generic and poo inducing. The real gem? The service. A very green waitress who no doubt had tried every meal on the menu... that day! Yeah, she dumped beer on me. 2 thumbs down. The hidden gem of the week was the Sonora Brewery in Phoenix. It was a small, dark, locals joint an an nondescript strip of highway (most of Phoenix). They brewed their own beers and they were really good. I enjoyed the IPA, and the cream ale. The service was pretty good. The food was surprisingly good. They had home made chips and a spicy chipotle ketchup that was great, a green chili and artichoke dip which was also solid. We then rocked the Kobe burgers. Very solid. 1 7/8 thumbs up, possibly the best meal of the week as far as I was concerned. For fun try finding, Hensley Brewery in Phoenix. Just try!

One other highlight, was the Phoenix Suns/Houston Rockets game. We had ok seats. Good game though. Steve Nash in person is impressive. Very quick, very smart, great player. Plus Shaq-Fu threw down a funny ally-oop type thing. We also had a really hot cheerleader in our section, not that I noticed. Plus... it seems Boston is the only place you cannot get a big boy cup. Huge beers @ the arena. 1 1/2 thumbs up for the Suns. Very accessible arena w/ plenty of parking.

Couple more... 2 thumbs up for SM's stache, 2 thumbs up for National car rental (easy in and out, nice cars), 2 thumbs down for my pitch shots and short irons, 2 thumbs up for the AZ weather, 1 1/2 thumbs up for AZ overall... and I am spent!!!!!!!!

Jay About D.C. Baby!

Man, I have had a whirlwind week... took a mancation out to the Phoenix area for some golf and then came back and turned around a flew to DC to see our friends home. From there, the ladies went to Virginia for a baby shower, the boys... well, we all celebrated the great news. I can't get to everything here so I will do the D.C. post here and hit AZ later this week. Couple notes real quick, old Jaybird rocketed from the bottom rungs to 4th in the company Final 4 bracket. Not sure that will last as I have non participant Louisville winning tonight. Also, how many times can an incompetent airline suck the fun and relaxation from a vacation? Last night it was U.S. Scare who provided a 3 hour delay at Reagan and got us home @2:30AM last night. It was so bad, they closed the bathrooms and offered water at the check in counter. Yup, Burlington refugees stuck in a foreign land!

Anywho, DC was great. We hit up a local butcher Friday night and were treated to the comedy stylings of "Pat the Butcher". I honestly thought Pat was a dude. I guess the manish body, baldman headscarf, and mustache threw me. I figured it out (sort of) when she started calling guys "babe". That woman knew her meat though! Apparently only behind the deli counter but she gave us the ins and outs of brisket, ribs, sausage, lamb. She was good and had great cuts. We picked up ribs, sausage, beer, and whiskey and headed to the Puma-dome! ML smoked us some fine ribs and after a few drinks we were living large. 2 enthusiastic thumbs up for Pat, 2 smokin' thumbs up for the Puma's new grill acumen!! Our buddy JL escaped the ladies in VA and cruised up to hang out and watch some b-ball. Saturday the Puma was back in action making up a great breakfast of eggs and bacon. That guy is taking the domestic thing seriously. Next up, we rolled to the zoo. I had not been to the zoo in years and it was fun. We checked out the gorillas, hippos, elephants (who did not look happy at all but get a new home in about a yr), the orangutan, lions, tigers... and the piece de resistance, the cheetah! We rolled by the cheetah enclosure and saw these guys hooking up this lever and pulley system around the cheetah field. This was going to be good. It did not disappoint as they hooked up a rat like pelt to the rope system and ran it around the field as the cheetah busted ass after it. Impressive. 2 thumbs up. That night we cruised to the Peking Gourmet Inn over in Virginia. Known for it's Peking Duck and local Guatemalan gang, the Gourmet Inn was also a hit. We ordered the duck which comes complete and cooked and then gets butchered up at the table w/ pancakes, cukes, scallions, and home made hoisin sauce. Boo-Yeah! We then rocked a garlic chicken dis which was solid and a very good fried beef dish. Great food, decent space, good service. My only complaint was the Mai Tai, plenty of booze but weird Walmart Cola flavor. Overall, 1 9/10 thumbs up! If you find yourself in VA, and don't mind eating in a strip mall, check it out. BTW, this is a favorite of the Bush clan as well as General Schwarzkopf. After that we had a few more beers and watched some TV. Sunday, Ml and I actually got up and played a little tennis and then cruised into Georgetown where like any other creepy old guys we gawked at co-eds, drank a couple Bud Lights on the water, checked out cherry blossoms, and even got to see Ben Stein. At least we were not the really old weird guy in the purple velvet Korea jacket (it was 78 degrees out)! Overall a very fun trip. Now I need to go before I pass out on my desk.