Last Post of '08

Good riddance! What a fucking terrible year. I mean seriously, did anything really go well?! Anyway, the nice thing is that you can always look forward to a new year and new beginnings. One quick thing... I have been reading about the latest fake memoir to dupe Oprah. Frankly, who gives a shit whether or not the memoir was real? It is just a story, do you need it to be real to capture the same emotion, hope, whatever it is that you got out of it before? Seriously, if you need to model your life after someone who has already lived theirs... you are a loser. Live your own life. When you read a book, watch a show or movie, listen to the radio... it is all someone Else's interpretation of what is happening around them so in a way it is "fake" to your social construct. Go ahead, smoke a joint and contemplate that gem!

Saw a couple movies on video this past week. The Bank Job starring Jason Stratham was actually pretty entertaining. The first 10 minutes are set in a strip club and on a nude beach so there are tones of boobies which sent several of our watch party to the other room abandoning the flick. After this bit of naughtiness the movie revolves around a (surprise) bank heist and several ins and outs along the way. I thought is was worth renting and give it 1 don't get over hyped thumb up. Second on the docket... 88 Minutes w/ Al Pacino. Hey, who likes female torture?! This movie sucked. The twists were not that interesting, the acting was wooden at best, and the whole movie was like a bad horror flick. 2 thumbs down. Finally, I sat down for The Incredible Hulk starring Edward Norton and Tim Roth. I was expecting to not like this movie after the last Hulk fiasco but was pleasantly surprised. The acting was ok for a comic book movie, the action was pretty good, the special effects were not bad, and well I guess that's it. Go in w/ low expectations and I think you may like it. My one real criticism was that the 2 main actors were a little ridiculous. Edward Norton my be the Hulk but he runs like a 12 year old girl. They would have done themselves a great service by shooting all on foot chase scenes from the waist up. Every time I saw Ed running I started to giggle. Tim Roth? He was playing a badass English special service guy, except he must be like 4'9". The guy was towered over by everyone including the midget hulk. Hard to be a badass when you need a booster seat at Pizza Hut. 1 wobbly thumb up.

Have a fun and safe new year!!!!!!!!!!! 2 Huge thumbs down to 2008!!!!!

Brief Sports Aside

If you don't like sports go ahead and skip this post. Feel free to mosey on back to Dorktown as well!!! Hahahahaha! That's right, I am a big sports bully! Anyway, I haven't spouted off about the state of the games in awhile so I thought I would posit my 2 cents. Hey Jay, what do you think about the Yankees spending spree?! Well, it seems like a can't win proposition right? I mean it was a slamdunk the last time they dropped mad cash on Randy Johnson, Roger Clemens, Jason Giambi, A-Rod... oh wait, what? You say they have not won w/ that plan and in fact have done much worse after making those moves including blowing a 3-0 lead to the Red Sox in the playoffs and missing the playoffs last year w/ the highest payroll in baseball?! Really?! No Shit! But Jay, this is different... Oh yeah, a 400 pound dude who sucks in the playoffs, has pitched too many innings the last 2 years and did not want to come to NY for the richest pitching contract in history... that should work out well. Burnett? He has had a solid injury filled career (I guess Carl Pavano wasn't available). Teixera might be good... Plus you still have mainstays, I can't go to my right (or left) Jeter, Melky "We can't trade this guy for a case of beer" Cabrera, Johnny "noodle arm" Damon, Broke Down Godzilla, Pitcher To Be Named Later, and the 80 year old Sandman. Print up the World Series Tickets now! The Sox? Better stay healthy, convince my favorite player Mike Lowell it was all a bad dream, and hope Brad Penny has something left in the tank. Oh yeah, and about that catcher position... Not betting my house on that one either. Although, given the current state of the housing mkt, that is not too big of a bet!

J-E-T-S!!! Jets, Jets, Jets!!!! Didn't see this coming. A Favre meltdown? 3 big interceptions? That guy is great, his career is 1 Super Bowl better than Warren Moon but everybody loves him. Tom Brady could never play another game and he was better than Favre. So is Peyton Manning. I like the Atlanta Falcons. Good for them. It took the law to free them from that punk Vick but they are finally turning it around! Kind of wish my fantasy football team had the same resurgence... I folded like the Jets down the stretch. Crap.

How 'bout them Lakers? That's right, I am a Lakers fan! I like the Celtics because I can see all of their games on local TV, and spending a few years in Boston I went to a fair number of games and have been following the team closely since before the M.L. Carr era. But in the end the Lakers are my team. I say Lakers over Celtics in 6 this year. I am betting my coworker Dick's house on this one. If I lose feel free to just go over and claim it, it's cool, he is pretty level headed. So, I guess that is it for the moment.

Holiday Exhaustion!

Man, the holidays really wipe me out. The travelling, the eating, the drinking, and all... at the end of the day it is nice to be w/ family though. BTW, drove from White River Jct. to Burlington, VT on Saturday. Dec. 27... was it snowing? Nope. Sleet or freezing rain? No and no. 40+ degrees and a rain downpour? Hell Yeah!!! Ok, so what were the Bird's favorite gifts this year? Well, I will not include some of the obvious choices but there were some real humdingers. My wife's favorite was the new and ultra sheek ironing board cover! Seriously. Mine? Definitely the Sham-Wow!!! Thanks Dad. I am totally going home tonight to dump some cola on the carpet and Sham-Wow it up!!!!! Boo-Yeah!!!!

HAPPY F*ING HOLIDAYS!!!!

I hope you all (both of you) have a great holiday week, and safe travels, and a time of relaxation and reflection. Here is an oldie but goodie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg

Jay Aboot Canada!

So, it being the holidays and all... I took last Friday off and planned to head up to Montreal w/ my special lady for lunch and some shopping. We picked out a few Indian places to check out and then put together a plan for a neighborhood to stroll around in. We have not had much luck in Montreal but had a plan this time and felt pretty good about ourselves! So we got up and leisurely ate breakfast then got on the road. It had been snowing up here in VT so we took it pretty easy on the way up as the roads were still slick. So we get up to our first place right around 2pm. Closing. Seriously, they are closing on a Friday @2PM. WTF?! OK, there is another place down the street. Already closed! I mean, in Burlington we are used to this because the hippies and trustafarians don't like to work but I figured in the city you need to actually have reasonable business hours! Next place, closed... next place, closed @3pm! F*CK!!!!! No problem, we will just go back to our original neighborhood, stroll around, and find something. Yeah, that would be fine except it was 2 degrees w/ a howling wind and sideways stinging snow!!! So we ducked into a Portuguese place. It had a large party in the back so it seemed safe. I would tell you the name but the snow stung my eyes so I couldn't see the sign. On a side note there was an old guy fast asleep sitting upright at the bar. Very European, everybody naps at 3PM. The food was ok. The bread was delicious, the salads (green and Caesar) pretty good, and the paella ok. We then walked a few blocks in the bitter cold to The Whiskey Bar. I had read about this place in 7 Days and this was the first decent review I had ever read in that rag. They were pretty dead on though. The atmosphere was dark and actually quite hip. The selection of fine liquors was fabulous... including several pages of fine scotches. The service was a little slow considering there was hardly anyone in the bar but whatever, the peace and quiet was nice. Anyway, 1 1/2 thumbs up for that place. So then we ran headlong into the gale to get back into our car and we were off. Of course it was snowing pretty hard at that point. So between talking and the snow we missed the turn to rt 35 and continued East on Rt 10. Ever been in Canada? The exits are 200 miles apart. Miss your exit and next stop, the Atlantic Ocean!!! We drove for forever and finally got ourselves heading south the west to Burlington. I give my wife a bunch of shit because here navigating skills are at times suspect. But in the snow, under pressure, and w/ me about to lose my mind... she guided us home on a safe and relatively easy path. My decision to take the scenic route made an 1.5 hour trip 4 hours though. Way to go Jaybird!!! Last little bit of fun, at the border we got the royal treatment w/ 50 questions. The best one? What did your wife have for lunch? That guy had no idea who he was messing w/! This is Jay About Town! I gave straight details baby!!! I am giving Canada 1 thumb down until the summer, that's just the way it is.

It's Made w/ Real Bits of Burger...

...so you know it's good! Got this from my wife (she is quite a character), and couldn't pass it up!

http://www.bostonherald.com/business/general/view.bg?articleid=1139319&srvc=home&position=emailed

My favorite part?

“the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.”

Yeah, can't go wrong w/ that!

Jay About Vietnamese Restaurant II

Yup, the Jay About Town tour of local Vietnamese joints continued this week w/ a stop @ the Vietnamese Restaurant II. This cheesy sequel sounding spot is apparently trying to capitalize on the "popularity" of the Vietnamese Restaurant I, over in Essex. First off, it is in a notoriously tough location, occupying the digs of former Tantra, and before that 12 other different Asian/other type dining venues. Secondly, they do not have their liquor license yet so BYOB for the time being. I ten to think this is an ok thing but just a heads up in the event you are an outrageous booze hound and do not have time to stop at the packy store for a bottle of wine. OK, on to the food. The menu is a little schizophrenic, encompassing 55 pages (or something like that) of Thai, Vietnamese, and other assorted Asian cuisine. This kind of mishmash can often be the kiss of death. I say, stick to the Vietnamese, that's the name on the door right?! My special lady and I started w/ some delicious ginger teas. They are like an iced tea that tastes just like the soft ginger candy you can get in Chinatown. Pretty sweet, but I am a fan. We then moved on to share 3 apps; Imperial spring rolls, a marinated beef and lemongrass salad, and fried pork won tons. All 3 tasted very good. The spring rolls featured soft rice paper, plump shrimp, and really nice veggies. They tasted very fresh. The marinated beef was also very good and surprisingly clean tasting as well. Our one wish would be to put the beef on a bed of mango and cucumber as opposed to lettuce (keep the mint and cilantro), but it was still very good. The won tons were only luke warm but they had nice flavor, texture, and were not too greasy. The dipping sauce was also very good. Finally, we shared the Red Dragon Noodle bowl w/ marinated pork. The fish sauce added nice flavor (have I used that word enough?) to the pork and the noodles were cooked perfectly. Plenty of seasoning and nice fresh mint, cilantro, and a bit of peanuts. Add a little hot sauce (the table had two heats and a plum sauce) and you are in flavor town my friend! The service was very friendly, prompt, and perfectly acceptable. The bill? Cheap! Even assuming booze at some point the price point is just fine. My only 2 complaints? An over sized mat at the entrance I tripped over twice! Recognize I am very light on my feet. The other bummer was the super loud group in the corner. Yes, I am quite sure you know everything about everything, and I think all 4 of you should let the others know it but... I don't want to hear about the 14 year old girl's perfect goddess body ad nausea! Of course, that is not the restaurant's fault. 1 3/4 enthusiastic thumbs up, it's in the rotation!

BTW, girl w/ the crappy car swerving in the middle of 2 lanes on rt 7 North this morning talking on your cell phone... F*ck You! I would have flipped you off for almost causing 12 accidents but you would never have even noticed.

Flash!

Well, I am almost ashamed of my laziness this weekend... almost! I did get some work done around the house. I also was able to revisit an old friend on one of those Encore channels. Flash Gordon! My dad is a pretty big sci-fi fan, and when I was a kid he read me all sorts of old sci-fi books, including Flash Gordon stories. When the movie starring Sam Jones came out in 1980 I was only 4 but I have to imagine I watched it w/ the old man. I do remember seeing it again a few times in the early 80s along w/ other gems such as Buck Rogers, and the Dr. Who show. Well, Flash has aged well! The movie is pure camp, flashy bright colored outfits and super fake looking sets and special effects. It is also very sexual in nature which I guess I kind of missed when I was 8! Anyway, a few of the highlights include the hero kicking ass by playing modified football, midgets in bright multicolor uniforms, Max Syndow as Emperor Ming, a complete soundtrack done by Queen, hawk men, and did I mention the midgets? 2 Huge thumbs up!!!

Jay About My Couch

Yesterday I was felled by some bad chicken wings... those things really burn on the way out! It did afford me a little quiet time on the couch and I caught a couple gems on the talking box. First up I watched the original "The Day the Earth Stood Still". Pretty interesting but a little preachy. The main actor, Michael Rennie, had this wacky bemused look on his face throughout the movie which was cracking me up. Plus the 1951 special effects really were special. The space ship, space suits, and the robot death ray... fantastic! I mean the robot Gort? Check it out before you let Keanu ruin it for you! 2 silly thumbs up.

I then caught a real classic on Encore, "Summer Lovers", starring Peter "Eyebrows" Gallagher, and Daryl "Before I was Famous" Hannah. The movie is about a college couple who spends the summer on a Greek Island, and the meets a french woman and they turn into a three was couple. Seriously. No Joke, that is what the movie is about. First off, when I went to college I don't remember anyone looking like Daryl Hannah... of course I also don't remember many couples who both looked 32. Second, Gallagher's eyebrows actually exert gravitational pull... you could see small stones rotating around his head. Third, how do 2 college kids afford a beautiful villa in a clean area overlooking the beach? Fourth, how is it that nobody needs a job? Five... hello gratuitous nudity! Six, well, that's about it, it was a ridiculous story, some silly acting, and tons of naked people on the beach. 2 thumbs way up!

By the way, the best part about our current financial trouble is the amount of times people say "huge package", "massive package", "how many large packages do we need"? Kills me every time!

It's a Battle for the Ages!

Furley... Roper... Mano y Mano in the Three's Company throwdown! In one corner you have Mr. Furley played by the immortal Don Knots; in the other, Mr. Roper played by Norman Fell. Furley rocked an amazing jumpsuit often accompanied by a sick scarf. The looks of shock and dismay? Priceless! The voice, pure Knotts! Roper on the other hand perfected the old man perv shtick. He was the master of the double entendre and always made you feel a little uncomfortable in all interaction w/ the younger ladies. Other than Larry Dallas, there were no more important members to the cast of Three's Company. So who wins this showdown? Chime in!!!

Jay About Pho Hong

It was a chilly kind of snowy day on Sunday. The special lady and I did a quick hike and then went to grab a snack in town. First stop was the Lakeview House in SOBU... CLOSED! It was 3PM?! WTF? Next stop, Mcsomething's pub. This used to be Quatre, and before that was Greenstreets. To be honest I am not sure either of those names is exactly correct, I had never been to the newly restyled pub and was hoping to cross it off my list. Nope. In fact, it looks like the place has been closed all together and is now inhabited by a Morgan Stanley retail branch? Yup, that should last awhile. What now? How about one of the new Vietnamese joints in town? Apparently there has been a huge infusion of Vietnamese cash in the area because 3 or 4 new places have opened in the area in this past year. We decided to rock out at Pho Hong over on North Winooski. Much like Pho Dang and Miss Saigon, this place was pretty sparse and was alot like eating in an office cafeteria. The service was solid and pretty quick. It was a snack situation so we shared a couple items. First up, a solid sweet and sour soup. The soup had chicken, mushrooms, cherry tomatoes and a really nice spice. It was a good size and hit the spot on a cold day. Next up was a Vietnamese crepe w/ chicken and shrimp. It came w/ a nice side of diced lettuce and mint and a sweet dipping sauce. The crepe itself was ok. It was pretty fresh and clean but not outstanding from a flavor standpoint. I spiced it up w/ some hot sauce which helped. The whole meal was topped off w/ a delicious and decadent coconut milkshake. Holy Shit it was good! The whole meal came to less than $20. I would give it 1 1/2 thumb up. Bring your own booze. I wish the setting was a little more homey but for the prices they charge, beggars cannot be choosers!

1 more little gem, we just rolled up to Starbucks in the mall for a coffee. They ran out and we had to wait while they brewed a pot. This is not the first time this has happened. If you run a coffee shop, dedicated to selling coffee (and crappy CDs)... HOW THE F*CK DO YOU RUN OUT OF F*CKING COFFEE!!!!!! It's not like we ordered a half caff double mocha crappachino or anything. we ordered 5 medium house blends. 2 thumbs down, and an extra thumb down for your Lysol smelling eggnog Starbucks!

Short but Sweet

So it was kind of a depressing week but here are a couple quick review type things...

Quantum of Solace... uhhhh, yeeaaahhh... the thing is.... I liked this movie just fine. The only problem is that the last one was 1000 times better. The newest Bond was much like the Timothy Dalton ones, tons of unintelligible action, absolutely no plot, and no character development. Sure it was an hour shorter than Casino Royal but they sacrificed all that was good about the new Bond. James Craig killing everyone in sight is just not enough (but it is close). One half hearted thumb up.

Have I reviewed the New Moon Delicatessen? Here it is... there are 12 employees standing around chatting with each other and acting like hipster actor wannabes in Burlington VT. The food is fine when they finally get around to making it. They have a nice selection of salads, sandwiches, chips, and soups. All over-priced! 1/2 a thumb up until the service really pulls a 180.

Comcast killed the Mojo channel. That was the best channel on TV. I f*cking hate Comcast. Seriously, I want to fight the people there.

Did anything good happen to Jaybird this week? Yes. It was very sad trying to comprehend the death of a friend, but it did afford me the opportunity to reconnect w/ friends I have not hung with in a bit. One more act of a friend...

Sad Day

We lost a friend this past week and it is a pretty sad day today. Sam Briggs was a good guy, and will be missed. It is never easy to lose someone this young and this sudden, my prayers go out to Sam's family. Sam... good luck on your journey.

http://www.legacy.com/burlingtonfreepress/Obituaries.asp?Page=SearchResults