Old Man Coming Through

Yup, it finally happened... I had my first old man injury playing basketball last night. I am only 31 and I am in pretty good shape. And yet... I am chasing down a loose ball last night and I feel my hamstring tighten up. OK, no big deal, I'll just take it easy, the game is almost over. We get another fast break and I try to accelerate from a run to a dead sprint and...POP! I can feel and hear my hamstring pop, then tighten up. Now I am on the shelf for a couple of months w/ at the very least a muscle pull, possible tear. Can you believe it? I thought that crap only happened to my dad! So anyway, looks like I will be riding the pine at the bar for awhile, good times. by the way, is there a more depressing place than the emergency room? My favorites last night were the guy who went to the bathroom every five minutes and puked so loud I thought he was ralphing up his shoes; followed by the lady who decided to wait not in the waiting room but in a dark room w/ the door closed, down the hall where no one could see she was doing drugs; and of course... the woman whom everyone in the emergency room knew by first name who was there because she slipped on the ice and hurt her butt.

Couple other notes. Not sure the Patriots will win this weekend but it seems pretty likely. The more the Giants keep yapping the higher the point spread should go. How did Plaxico Burress go from bench warmer, to poor man's Randy Moss, to guaranteeing a win and even citing a score?! I liked the Giants until they started talking shit... now i will be looking for the modified Manning face after hid fourth turnover, followed by the Burress disgusted face, followed by Tom Coughlin's head exploding! Can I get that parlay somewhere?

Not sure I get the whole Mets' trade for Johan Santana. Absolute steal for the Mets, makes them the NL favorite right now. The Twins on the other hand... They had 2 deals that were superior to the Mets' offer, from the Yanks and Sox. They hold out, and hold out, and hold out....and hold out, and then take the worst of three offers and the same one that had been on the table for months. This was possibly the worst negotiation ever (or second behind my Cuban cigar transaction in Mexico where I think I tripled the sellers offer). If you are a sports fan in Minnesota do you just move? Between the Vikings, Twins, and Timberwolves you have been screwed more times than Jenna Jameson... and now you have to watch your superstars turn their new teams into championship contenders while you live in lotteryland. Not good times.

Not too much mention of good ol' GW's unbelievable abuse of power as it relates to his use of "signing statements". Any time this guy doesn't like a law, he claims Constitutional authority to override it w/ one of these signing statements. if your president does not believe the law applies to him... where does the Executive/legislative checks & balances come in? Here's the latest
http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2008/01/30/bush_asserts_authority_to_bypass_defense_act/

Giuliani... Edwards... we hardly knew ye! Maybe you can run on an independent ticket together? You know, the Suck Party, or the We Got A Little Ahead Of Ourselves Party, or the We Bet the Farm On Florida, i Guess We Didn't Think People in Florida Read The News party?

So if you will excuse me, I need to go take some ibuprofen and wrap a heating pad around my hammy.

Breaking News! FED cuts 50bps

Market replies w/ a giant F***k you!

Top 10 Hollywood 'Staches

Hot Damn, I am on a roll today! I am not sure where this inspiration has come from (although that story about the double DUI might have something to do w/ it)... but here is the rare 2 post day. Without further doo doo

10) Eddie Murphy... I am looking for my son... Akeem, I think he just stole a Burger King crown!
http://www.moviecritic.com.au/images/coming-to-america-eddie-murphy1.jpg

9) Wladorf... along w/ trusty Statler, Waldorf held muppet court
http://docs.voxeo.com/images/tutorials/muppets.jpg

8) Peter Sellers... old school
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/73/039_22745~Peter-Sellers-Posters.jpg

7) Hulk Hogan... say your prayers, eat your vitamins, and grow out a sweet 'stache!
http://www.businessweek.com/the_thread/hotproperty/hulk.jpg

6) Vincent Price... classic, timeless, possible belonging to a child molestor
http://www.saint.org/blog/uploaded_images/Vincent-Price-703645.jpg

5) Val Kilmer/Kurt Russell... It's a Tombstone 2 step
http://sachem.suffolk.lib.ny.us/advisor/pix1/tombstone.jpg

4) Wilford Brimley... Do you suffer from diabetes? Then grow a damn mustache!
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_imagearticle2396.jpg

3) Burt Reynolds... that's right Loni, you F*d up! Look at this guy, 100% BADASS!!!
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/54/039_11140~Burt-Reynolds-Posters.jpg

2) Sam Elliot... Not sure what role really does the 'stache justice, The Big Lebowski? Mask? I think maybe I would go with Tombstone. Handlebar it up baby!!
http://content7.flixster.com/question/39/05/37/3905373_std.jpg

1) Tom Selleck... F*ing Magnum man. If you even have to ask I will fight you!
http://www.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,,5291273,00.jpg

Does Vermont kick ass? Affirmative!!!

Thought I would dole out a little local flavor for you to start the week...

Story of the week, obviously
http://www.wcax.com/global/story.asp?s=7782045

In an effort to draw attention away from the public nudity debate...
http://www.wcax.com/Global/story.asp?S=7782035&nav=menu183_2

Not even sure what to say about this guy... doesn't look like a pervert to me though?
http://www.wcax.com/Global/story.asp?S=7781504&nav=menu183_2

Lead story for VT's biggest newspaper, also a no-brainer
http://burlingtonfreepress.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080128/NEWS01/80128006/1009

Now this is comedy... the guy is not that funny though
http://burlingtonfreepress.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080128/NEWS02/801280302/1007

I guess this is what happens when you live in the frozen tundra?

Mucho Gusto!!!!

Happy MLK Day from Jay About Time!! I am taking this day off to rest (slept till noon), relax (drinkin' a beer @2PM), freeze my nuts off (it's 9 degrees out), and why not... I'll even update my blog?! My lady is out of town for the week so I can rock it in my underwear and type uninterrupted. So anyway, this episode of Jay About Town comes to you from Mexico! My wife and I took our annual get the F**** out of the cold trip to the Yucatan this year and it was great. 85 degrees and sunny every day? Check! 80 degree crystal clear Caribbean type ocean? Check!! Cheap cerveza and tequila? Check!!! An ocean front massage w/ a happy ending?! Well check for all but the last part...

We have found that on vaca it is best to split our time up, too much time in one spot and we get a little restless. Part one of our trip was in Playa Del Carmen just south of Cancun. *quick aside, there is a bar right as you exit the airport in Cancun, if you are planning to rent a car @ Thrifty get 2-3 drinks... it takes forever and they try to sell you on a time share at the car rental place. Anywho... Playa is a rapidly growing hip urban area. that's what the book says, Jay says it is like a slightly less boozy and more Euro Key West! It is one long strip of bars, restaurants, and shops a block up from a strip of beautiful ocean. There is techno playing everywhere and lots of people in bikinis, hot chicks, fat chicks, dudes... everybody wheres a bikini. I smuggled my roll of nickles in the more discreet full short bathing suit, no reason to cause a riot! We did stay at a really hip hotel, Deseo. It was like a Standard or W hotel, very modern, clean lines, techno in your room, and bedside condoms. Boo-Yeah!!!!! Anyway, Playa was pretty ok but not as good as our next destination, Tulum, another 45 minutes south.

Tulum is an old hippy/yoga nut colony that is just now being developed. They still run most beach side hotels off generators and turn all of the power off around midnight. There is also a long wide beach of fine white sand running down to clear turquoise water with gentle rolling waves. Probably the best beach top to bottom I have ever been on. Just wonderful. We spent most of our time here kicking it in on our beach chairs under a little thatch roof umbrella, sipping pina coladas and cervezas. The beer of choice for the week was Sol, a nice light beer like a Corona w/ a little more flavor. We did spend one day doing a little site seeing. We first went to the Tulum ruins... they are pretty cool and easy to see in a short period. the real attraction is they are an old Mayan ruin perched on a cliff overlooking the ocean, unbelievable setting really. Next up we went to do a little Cenote snorkeling. The Yucatan is essentially a huge limestone slab and dotted throughout the area are sinkholes. The first one we hit up was a little dicey. You climbed down into a hole and swam around in a very dark cave w/ random fish swimming all around and bats in the ceiling. So we went on to more ruins! Next stop Coba ruins! This was a little inland and was a much larger Mayan ruin highlighted by a huge temple (138') you could climb to the top of on look over miles of uninhabited jungle. It is quite a climb in 90 degree jungle heat... my quads nearly burst! On our way back to Tulum we gave one more cenote a try... the Gran Cenote. This one was great... you climbed into a huge cavern w/ sun flowing in and illuminating the turquoise waters. With all of the fish in the clear water it was very much like reef snorkeling. You could also adventure farther into the cave and swim through stalagmites and into deep dark caves. very cool. So then it was back to Tulum for more beach time!!!

The food was only so so overall as the seafood was not up to Caribbean standards. As the area is heavily populated w/ Italians there is nice Italian food as well as the obvious Mexican fare. I love Mexican so I had my fare share of tacos and quesadillas, don't get me wrong.

Overall a great trip and I would highly recommend it to anyone who likes the beach! Now I need to get back to my beer and see what hour of top 100 80's bands is on VH1...Adios!!!!!

Why do airlines suck so bad?

I don't have the energy quite yet to post on Mexico... I will just say it was great. In the meantime I would just like to put a little something out there in the background, US Scair SUCKS. BIG TIME. In one trip they managed to cancel our connecting flight, reroute us a couple times, send my bag to an impossible destination (as the flight there had been cancelled), the bag is still in limbo, and the closest we could get to home was 1 1/2 hours away and the good fortune of a ride from my parents. Not to say everyone was useless... the folks at LaGuardia were pretty competent and the Lebanon NH people were nice... but the jackasses in Charlotte were rude and incompetent. That is the real kicker, the airline f***s up, and then they are assholes to you. How can you be in err and then act like you are doing the wronged party a favor?!?!?! Of course when you are an idiot to begin w/ and only getting paid $10 an hour to deal w/ your overall companies ineptitude, well, how much motivation do you really have to be professional? So like I said, we did run into a few folks worth recognizing for their efforts, but overall it was as I have come to expect from US Scair... a complete disaster!!!! So next time you fly... think about renting a donkey, you probably are just as likely to reach your destination.

VACATION!!!

That's right... my special lady and I are taking off next week to the beaches of Mexico. I am knocking on wood and hoping for decent weather (and no kidnappings, I am a pretty big deal). Since there will be no posts next week I figured I would leave the three of you who read this, thanks mom, a little something.

Why is it the oddest cats respond to this blog, seriously, check out a couple of the comments. I guess that makes me a weird cat.

Looking for a way to spend a little of that holiday money you got from random relatives? I present you... International Male! http://www.internationalmale.com/ Yeah, check out the "Problem Solver"... I have a couple of those bad dogs in my wardrobe.

My worst nightmares are coming true... HUCKABEE!!!!! http://youdecide08.foxnews.com/2008/01/04/iowa-caucus-results-republicans/

Didn't see this coming... http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,320111,00.html

This might be awesome... http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,320136,00.html

Of course you would shoot a local anesthetic generally used by dentists into your ASS!!! http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3179745

These MOOs really know how to party! http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2008/01/04/forget_tupperware_get_ready_for_the_taser_party/

Buyer's remorse? Personal accountability is for suckers, real Americans SUE!!! http://www.reuters.com/article/governmentFilingsNews/idUSN0430395020080104

And I am out... Dos Cervezas Pour Some More, uh, por fa vor, err, see you in a week

El Presidente

So apparently it is that time again where we as a country get to exercise our most cherished right and vote for the lesser evil amongst 2, possibly 3 jackass candidates who will then be placed in charge of arguably the most powerful country in the world!!! But Jay you can't complain... you have a vote, you are the one making the choice! WRONG! For one, the electoral college casts the actually decisive votes and they are not bound to follow the popular vote, merely take it into consideration. We have already seen a candidate win the popular vote and still not be president (for which I am sure he is quite pleased, winning Nobel prizes and such). Secondly, this country has bought into the idea that there is only a 2 party system and unfortunately those 2 parties are run by far flung wackos who parade out the most extreme chuckleheads every 4 years for the middle to vote on. So potentially decent candidates usually cannot even get a nomination to run in the general election!! But Jay, once again, you could join a party and make a choice, or better yet, you could buck the 2 party system!!!! Way ahead of you chief! I never vote for the major parties. I vote for the person I believe should run the country... don't care about the party affiliation. As I am here to help my fellow American I have put together cliff notes on cast of turd burglars.

Hillary Clinton. Pro, has Senate experience as was the de facto ruler of the US while slick Willy was getting in the intern fiasco. Con, Frankly, I am scared of her and not in a good way. A bit untrustworthy as well.

Barack Obama. Pro, young energetic, possible brings a new vision to Washington. Con, very little experience and it is unclear what he actually stands for?

John Edwards. Pro, young, energetic, etc. Con, ambulance chaser w/ a $400 haircut

Mitt Romney. Pro, probably the most competent from a fiscal point of view, has run a successful company and looks the part. Con, may have several secret wives and believe a common criminal was a prophet of God.

John Thompson. Pro, hey, he's a conservative actor just like Reagan! Con, like Reagan could fall asleep or die at any moment, unlike Reagan, never ran California.

John McCain. Pro, social liberal, fiscal conservative, strong foreign policy. Con, old and possibly prone to 'Nam flashbacks.

Mike Huckabee. Pro, cool Chuck Norris commercial. Con, believes God created the world in 7 days a few thousand years ago. Hey, it's cool to follow a guy who blatantly dismisses logical facts!

Rudy Giuliani. Pro, cleaned up New York and navigated the city through 9/11. Con, more skeletons in his closet than Jeffrey Dahmer.

Dennis Kucinich. Pro, hot younger wife. Con, believes he saw an alien while hanging out w/ Shirley McClain.

So there you have it. I am leaning towards a Giuliani over Obama election keeping a Democratic Congress to offset executive powers. Worst case? Huckabee vs. Clinton w/ GW Bush pulling a Putin and taking the VP chair. Nah, this isn't another scary year or anything...

MERRY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

BEEF JERKEY?!?!?!?!