Another Down...

Another legend has passed... though to be fair I can't believe Mr. Kneivel made it to 69! So my last post was admittedly quite weepy. Hey, it happens. I stand by my posts. That said... if you think you want a shot at the (virtual) title, step up punk?! I am still tougher than tough, and a huge babe magnet (it's a real shame I have been taken off the market)!!!!

And then...

There's this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fy5qHlNPKEc

Softie

OK, as a confirmed tough guy I am defined by my very masculine posts... that said, not sure if it was a movie, a song, a drunk moment... this being the Internet I hope we just hope we have a record of history? Well, if there is a history of J About Town, it must have a hieroglyphic w/ reference to my father... let's call him Don. It was actually The Grinch Who Stole Christmas that got me a thinkin'! Odd no? I am a confirmed Mama's boy... My wife? She is the gravity who holds me to this earth, I love her more than this blog will hold. My Dad? He taught me how to be a man! He taught me how to throw and catch, he taught me how to run, showed me music... albums!!! My father taught me how to treat other people, he taught me respect for my mother and women. To be fair; these lessons are ongoing and, w/ some the teaching always evolves and w/ some I am always learning the nuances. That said... when watching a silly cartoon about a lout w/ a heart of gold, I thought of this crazy character that also is a silly character w/a heart of gold. My old man has turned into an a sappy old bird who forwards the sappy spam you would to avoid. You know what? I don't care! A funny cat who loves his wife family and is not afraid to share it? If that is wrong... I don't wanna' be right!!!!!! Extra bonus... my father in law is a good guy too. Hoping to become a good dad myself. Don't like my posts... F**** you... start your own blog. You can be as cool as you are...chief.

R.I.P. Kevin Dubrow

When I first started thinking about the old blog. My Alma mater, Middlebury College, had won the national championship in soccer this weekend. The Patriots decided to stop playing defense and also stop catching the ball almost allowing an unlikely upset from the Eagles. Somehow a guy who couldn't throw a baseball from second base to first (what 25 feet?) made it onto the baseball hall of fame ballot, our old pal Chuck Knoblach. Possibly a review of the very intense Coen film No Country for Old Men. There was always the wrap up from Turkey Day (pretty successful).

The end of the day though brought said and untimely news... Kevin Dubrow of Quiet Riot fame had died in his Las Vegas home at the age of 52. I certainly do not want to make fun of some body's death but Mr. Dubrow was quite a character. I was just coming into my own rock n' roll wise in the early eighties. MTV was just getting off the ground and we were in the thick of the hair metal revolution. I remember vividly the first Quiet Riot video... "Cum on Feel the Noise", a cover tune from the defunct band Slade. Like most early MTV videos, this thing was cheesy as all get out. But what it lacked in acting, directing, costumes, cinematography, production values... it made up for in ridiculous fist pumping, a heavy drum beat, and the MASK!!!! The guy wore that sweet steel mask straight from a comic book as well as the purple "Member's Only" straight jacket. I was hooked. It led to my first musical purchase. I got my parents to buy me my first cassette, Metal Health, which featured such gems as "Let's Go Crazy", and "Slick Black Cadillac". I followed that up w/ Condition Critical, and QRIII. Each video was more ridiculous, and each interview was more outrageous. I remember these dudes in bright spandex and leather chugging beers and surrounded by half dressed buxom beauties. What more could a hormone driven pre-teen dream of?!?!? And running the circus was Kevin Dubrow.

Dubrow had a stalking stage presence and a loud screaming voice. He also had an amazing receding hairline and wore bright red spandex even though he was built like me at 10. Dubrow managed to lead his troupe to the top of the charts and bring hair metal into the forefront of American Rock N' Roll. Then he went insane. The music was quickly pushed out and he started talking shit about other bands... and then his own band. While touring the band neglected to wake him up and bolted from their hotel in Hawaii. Needless to say old Kev' had been fired. As the heart and soul of the band, neither side could really survive w/out the other and eventually a reunion was in the works. Dubrow resurfaced w/ a piece that would make Sy Sperling proud. It was a huge super fake looking gherri curl toupee. Fantastic!! From there the band went through a few break ups and reunions, and then some shows in the Netherlands and county fairs. At one point you could have the band play a private show for 10 grand. Needless to say we looked into it. So now, like many rock stars before him, Dubrow has left this world prematurely. I am sure tawdry details of drugs and alcohol will surface... and I imagine that's the way Kevin would have wanted it. They are my first and still one of my favorite bands and so I say good journey Kevin Dubrow!

Black Friday

So it's a Friday after a holiday and I am here at work... obviously very busy at work! Needless to say I am still a little triptiphane-d out and contemplating a run for the door. In the meantime I have been perusing the interweb and wondering why the f*** somebody would wake up at 4AM to battle a bunch of crazy blue hairs for some crap they don't need at Walmart?! Is the $2 savings for $200 worth of purchases worth the 3 hours of lost sleep? Not for this guy. Anyway Chief, I have a few more items that have left me scratching my head...

Hey, simple mistake, could've happened to anyone
http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2007/11/22/shooter_says_he_mistook_cow_for_coyote/

uh...ok
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,312588,00.html

whoa...
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,312573,00.html

yeah, why wouldn't you camp out overnight, it's not like you can buy these items at any other time... oh, wait, you can?
http://burlingtonfreepress.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071123/NEWS01/71123013/1009

you mess w/ the bull, you get the... well this guy got somethin' a little different
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sv6D4sieaHM

and finally... at what point did they decide to film the Dukes Of Hazzard sequel in Colchester, VT?
http://www.wcax.com/Global/story.asp?s=7387532

Turkey Day

Well, we are officially ass deep into the holiday season! This is a big year for the J-Bird family, as my wife and I are hosting our first Thanksgiving. We have both sets of parents and her sister coming over. Now, that is a pretty manageable number and we have cooked for more people before (and by that I mean my wife cooked while I drank beer, got in the way, and stirred pots), but this is different. This is an iconic meal w/ staples that are very well known and loved. We are also attempting to meld two very deeply ingrained family tradition templates... this thing could either go very right, or very wrong!! On the bright side, it is a lovely 35 degrees and raining here in lovely VT, BEAUTIFUL!!!! So for my part I plan to mix copious amounts of booze into delicious cocktails, tell semi offensive jokes, watch football w/ the boys, and most importantly I will try to keep the moms from sending my special lady on a 6 state killing spree!!! GOOD TIMES!!!!

Quick aside, as I type this I am eating a little pizza from Junior's in Colchester... it is actually quite good. I am digging the Sicilian.

Second quick aside, as it looks like the whole financial market is about to shit itself... if you are an attractive ultra rich woman looking for a pool boy to ogle (sorry, no touching)... feel free to reply to this post with a job offer.

Third quick aside... if every flight into JFK is delayed (rain or shine), might it be prudent to schedule less flights into and out of that airport?

I'm on a roll... fourth quick aside... The woman getting 200 lashes in Saudi Arabia for being raped. This is not funny, nor do I wish to make light of it in any way. I will defend the right of any group to hold their own beliefs but this particular translation of Sharia law is an affront to humankind. Punishment is a means to deter criminals. This case is an establishment of dominance by men who lack confidence and moral fiber. Shameful

Fifth quick aside... let's get back to a lighter tone, could this man be our next president? I say maybe http://youtube.com/watch?v=MDUQW8LUMs8

And finally... as winter approaches and the stress of the holiday season mounts, here is the clip of the day... http://youtube.com/watch?v=TwUegUaePy8

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

Jay About Beantown

My brother recently got married and this weekend we headed down to Mass to celebrate the occasion. I lived in Boston for a few years and always enjoy hitting some of my old haunts. First and foremost let me say, I love Boston but I HATE the traffic. The party was south of the city, trying to get back into town from what should be about 30 minutes south took almost 2hours. Saturday at 5:30PM we ran into stop and go traffic for miles and miles. Where are people going at 5:30 on Saturday night? What I recall about Boston though was that there is always traffic, during the day, during the night, when it rains, when it shines... apparently nobody works or eats or sleeps in Boston... they just drive around??!?!? To further enrage me I missed the exit to Kendall Square (trying to find our hotel) and had to drive to Mass Ave and then back track. Not knowing the exact location I called to hotel, of course they were only able to give me directions from the T (subway) which was tremendously helpful... as I was DRIVING! So I (followed by buddy) found myself on a 1 way street w/out an exit and drove back over the bridge to Boston from Cambridge. Take 2. We call again and I dumb down my question, luckily the crack staff was able to direct me to the hotel, they were not able to tell me where to park. Why would they? Whoever drives to a hotel? Doesn't everyone take the local service subway? So my wife went in to ask... of course we were in the bus loading zone and were honked at by a line of buses until we got ourselves back on the 1 way exit-less bridge to Boston!!! At this point I wanted to punch Mayor Menino in the face. Take 3! We finally parked and unloaded at the lovely Kendall Hotel. It is an old converted firehouse and was really quite nice. Clean, reasonably priced, comfortable (don't expect much from the free breakfast though). Cleaned up and hungry we headed out. Our destination? Thai Basil on Newbury Street! Thai Basil looked like a college cafeteria but my pal Joe was able to give it the smell test... approved! Let me say this, the food is tasty, cheap, and the beer was cold. Now the good part. There was an app. on the menu called treasure bags. Needless to say, combined w/ the phuket noodles we had jokes, and jokes, and jokes... Phuket, I would love to get my treasure bags on the table! Boy, you have some tasty treasure bags! Phuket, maybe we just had too many beers and this isn't funny at all? Next stop, VOX an Boylston Street. Pretty ladies (according to Joe!), excellent martinis, cool atmosphere. Big fan. Last stop... as always, the BHP! The Beacon Hill Pub is something special. The beer is cheap and cold. There are older weirdos, tons of college kids, some folks are dressed up, some are slobs, and everyone is DRUNK! Try the $2.25 Brubaker and then your luck w/ the punching bag game. You might even get in a fight?! YAAAAYYYYY!!!!! So if you are scoring at home, that is 1 1/2 thumbs up for The Kendall Hotel, 1 3/4 thumbs up for Thai Basil, 2 thumbs up for VOX, and 2 HUGE thumbs up for the BHP!!!! 1 thumb downs for the hangover on Sunday, I broke a plate at breakfast. But a fun weekend. BTW, my brother's party was fun too.

As a little extra, I went out on a bit of a ledge today. It is pretty cold here in VT so I was taking the short walk to The Mad Hatter for lunch. Unfortunately I was distracted and drawn to the Phillie cheese steak vendor across the street. What can I say, I get drawn to shiny items?! Here is a quick review... don't walk, run from that disaster! I usually enjoy local vendors, but man... the quality was lacking and it didn't even have that delicious gross greasy cheese steak thing going for it. Sorry but I was not a fan. So there you have it!

What would you say... you do here?

So we had our annual all-firm offsite meeting on Monday. I am still a little numb. These things are always a bit draining and it usually takes a little while to process what has gone down. Beyond that, we are supposed to get a pretty substantial snowfall here in Vermont this afternoon/evening. I also had a couple dust ups w/ companies I work with on trade prices. So if you are scoring at home, THE MAN 3... Golder 0. I am known for my amazing comebacks though so not all hope is lost!

What has been a somewhat pleasant diversion this week is the wacky happenings in the sports world. I have been hating on the Celtics the last few years because they S-U-C-K-E-D! 2 big trades this preseason have really turned the team around though. They play defense, have multiple scoring options, Garnett passes well, rebounds well, and blocks shots, and the team has an overall sense of purpose. It's really great, the word is that tickets are hard to get except the $200+ seats. Blessing and a curse of the explosive Boston sports scene... the teams are great and fun to watch, if you can actually score a ticket. I am also enthralled by Ricky Williams being reinstated to the NFL... extra bongs hits tonight Ricky, it's your chance to celebrate!!!! Also loving the NY Knicks exploits. Sexual harassment, fist fights, blackmail... and somehow Zach Randolph is not involved?!?!? Isiah Thomas is reaching G.W. Bush status at this point. He blew up the CBA, he f*d up the Toronto Raptors, he sucked and got fired in Indiana, he has made horrible personnel moves w/ the Knicks, and now he is in a pissing match w/ the point guard he personally killed the franchise to trade for. The guy was sued for sexual harassment and LOST!!! The team had to pay a huge fine!!!! What does he have to do to get fired, walk into the owners office, make out w/ his wife and fart on his desk?!?!?! Even then he would probably get hired as the next GM of the Clippers!

And then there is the A-Rod saga. This ass and his agent turn down 30mm a yr from the Yankees, make a big scene at the World Series (that they are not involved in), and then A-Rod has to suck it up and beg the Yanks to take him back for less money. Well played dipshit. I am pretty happy about how it turned out. A-Rod looks like the fool he is, Scott Boras finally gets a little come uppance, and the Yankees are stuck w/ a 27mm a year choke artist. They could have paid $20 and just brought Chuck Knoblach back. Good times all around.

It kind of pisses me off that the Red Sox got very little coverage for winning the World Series but folks can't stop talking about a washed up manager, over the hill closer, whiny third baseman, and soon to be bust catcher. They sucked w/ those guys last year, I am sure they will win the World Series this year... Jaba the Hut is starting for them... he will definitely win 30 games, as long as they don't play Cleveland.

This leads me to another rant about NY sports. Somehow no one has picked up on the fact that players tend to get deified when they play in NY for no reason. Ask a New Yorker about Joe Namath and they get doughy eyed. He had a career 50% completion rate and only 173 TDs vs 220 interceptions. Steve Grogan, 52% completions, 182 TDs, 208 interceptions... any idea who Steve Grogan is? It took an absolute meltdown for people to realize how bad Chad Pennington sucks! Derek Jeter's Gold Glove seasons? If you believe Rob Neyer, Bill James, Baseball Prospectus or you have ever watched him play you know that Jeter has sub par range and fielding skills. He may be a great overall player but is not a top notch defensive player (what the Gold Glove is supposed to be awarded for). http://www.baseballprospectus.com/dt/jeterde01.php
There are plenty of other examples... the Knicks of the 70s are considered one of the top 10 teams of all time... think they could beat the 85 Celtics, 86 Lakers, 06 Spurs? Walt Frazier had a great mustache, only a pretty good game. What's the point? NY media turns good players into great players... in print anyway. So watch out for A-Rod, he may never hit a home run in October but he will be portrayed as the next Babe Ruth, complete w/ that funny run style!!!!

Best Video Ever?

You Decide!!!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Wba2r7khE8c

Market Meltdown

Couple thoughts here... one is this the beginning of a recession or a minor blip due to a correction in a housing market that was overdone (tech bubble style). Why didn't we see this coming? Folks seemed to play down the idea of a housing bubble but why. If the price of something goes up in an artificial way w/ poor underlying fundamentals and no one can explain why... isn't that a bubble that must burst? Moreover, does anyone care? Is there greater panic when you watch the financial markets everyday than there is for the average joe on the street? Well, it sucks from this end.

By the way, the polls seems to be going great! Either no one looks at this site, they poll is not in a good spot on the page, or the polls just plain suck! Or maybe... the same voter apathy gripping the nation has infiltrated my blog?!?!?!?

Can you title something "untitled"?

I was listening to Peter Cetera belt out a Chicago tune in the car on the way to basketball and I got to thinking about how much I enjoy crap like that, so without further doo-doo... I mean adieu, here are my top 10 guilty pleasure bands.

10. Electric Light Orchestra. white guy w/ a huge afro that always wears sunglasses? check! Silly kind of fruity name? check! EEEEEVIILL WWOOOOMMAAAAANNN...Check!!!

9. Journey. These guys got mad hot model chicks in the 80s, think about that! Must be because they were lovin', touchin', squeezin' each otha...

8. Gordon Lightfoot. This guy's stache/beard was Chuck Norris before Chuck Norris!

7. STYX. LLLLAAADDDYYYY!!! Straight from God's lips to Mr. Roboto's ears.

6. Chicago. I enjoy the 70s horns/waka waka guitar version, as well as the 80s super fruity ballad version. Peter Cetera man, Peter Cetera.

5. Quiet Riot. My first tape, the first video I remember, first song I knew the words to (Bang Your Head). Kind of like losing your virginity... a little awkward but you'll always have fond memories (maybe w/ a little less spandex and pleather though).

4. Europe. Sure, the Final Countdown is a classic but what about... Cherokee!!!!!

3. Heart. bum ba da bum ba da bum ba da da da...ding. bum ba da bum ba da bum ba da da ding... BARRACUDA!

2. Kenny Rogers. The face may change but the songs remain. Looks like this guy is wearing a mask these days, a tan mask... but The Gambler?! Reuben James?! Coward of the County?!?! Islands in the Stream...uh, er, maybe forget that one.

1. Fleetwood Mac. I am not even sure this is a "guilty" pleasure to enjoy possibly the greatest band ever! Rumors is a great album. This band really showed what a band can do when they are using way too much cocaine and all hooking up/cheating on one another!!! Here is the guilty part for me, one of my favorite tunes is Silver Springs... you belt that shit out Stevie, you belt it out!

So there you have it, I am off to fire up my hi-fi and rock out to a little Sundown, I have to get amped up for another game tonight!

DC or Bust!

Holy crap... I just spent my vacation day stacking wood, putting my garden to bed for the winter (it's not fruity, refer back to the wood stacking!!!), and cleaning the house up. I am f***ing tired!!! So this post may suck and need to be revisited. Anywho, my special lady and I spent the weekend w/ our good friends the Pumas in our nation's capitol. We had a great time. We checked out the monuments which is always spectacular. Have you noticed that no one builds things like the Lincoln Memorial, or the Jefferson Memorial, or even the Capitol building anymore. I mean, if I was Bill Gates w/ a couple billion bucks to burn... the great pyramid of J-Bird!!!!! Bank on it! We also toured northern Virginia and the Georgetown area. Just a really great are. Our pals have this really hip apartment w/ 30 foot ceilings (at least) and a ton of space. D.C. is pretty cool, it is like a series of small cities w/ a lot of green space... but all within 20 minutes to the capitol.

On Friday we had the pleasure of a kick to the junk courtesy of the good people at JFK airport. We sat on the tarmac at Burlington for awhile before they told us all traffic was halted to JFK and we would have a 2 hour wait and might have to order pizzas because all of Burlington airport was closed (7:20PM). I am dead serious. But then, just as the 20 pizzas arrived and you could smell them in the hall, the cabin doors were closed and we were off! Good thing too because we only had to circle around NY for an hour or so. On the bright side our connection was also delayed for an hour so no worries there. JFK was also great on site, the bar closed at 10:15PM. Must be that once the early birds clear out nobody needs a drink! I would think that if you are in an airport (as about 200 people were) at 10:15... you need an F***ING drink!!! Fortunately, my lady has eagle eyes and spotted a lone food court option still open and serving beer. I love my wife, she kicks ass!!! So, finally we got to D.C. early in the A.M. had a drink, chatted and crashed. The next day our friend K.L. made a delicious brunch; egg strada, smoked salmon and caper pasta salad, turkey sausage, and pineapple chunks ... this thing rocked. We then did our tour and grabbed a beer and some apps in Georgetown before heading back to their place. The piece de resistance? Frickles! Fried pickles. Not sure what it is about D.C. but there are pickles everywhere. Sandwiches, fried, soups... The frickles were pretty great though, if you have a chance to check them out, I say DO IT!!! So after a little conversing at the crib, we went out to a restaurant where you seat yourself in a packed bar environment. It was like a National Geographic special. My buddy and I hung at the bar like lions while our fearless mates stalked a tabled and then... POUNCED!!!! Bang, we were sitting and chowing. Not sure there was any conversation, I don't even know what I ate. But it was great! Again, it was back to the crib where the ladies (exhausted from the hunt) wen to bed, while the Puma and I played dominoes!

Sunday, we were all a little wiped. We had a nice brunch (I had a Cuban sandwich, more pickles), and then the ladies did a little shopping while Puma and I went to a bar to have a beer, play darts and watch the J-E-T-S! Puma managed to crush his head on a shelf while reaching for darts. He might have a Trent Green face going right now. We then took a fantastic driving tour of the D.C. area and were off to VT. Only a short delay in JFK this time. I hate that airport now. I really hate it.

So now here I am, about to melt into my Old Fashioned and watch some tube. I really liked D.C. and look forward to returning to see the Pumas and another good friend and his new bride recently disengaged from the air force. And with that I am out!!!!!

P.S. couldn't get any releases so all of the faces are blocked out... pretty sure that is Brad Pitt in front Lincoln though

Are you ready to feel uncomfortably ENERGETIC!!!!!

I figured as long as the financial markets were melting down I would take a quick second to update the old blog. The blog thing is kind of funny really... ever see that movie "What About Bob" where they tie him to the mast of the boat? It's a little like that... I'm blogging! I'm blogging!! Look at me, I BLOG!!!!! Anywho... It's been a pretty eventful week. As I said, the market has been pretty volatile which always makes my job a little stressful, it's never good to wake up in the middle of the night w/ a work dream. They never tend to be happy dreams, or sexy dreams, or dreams w/ midgets and monkeys. They are more like the going to school in your underwear dreams. So then our hot water heater blew out and left a small lake in our basement. The idea of a new heated indoor pool was kind of fun... except for the floating dead spiders and mice. The great thing about that was my wife called in a tizzy about the water and the busted sump pump that was meant to drain the water. Being the handy guy I am I gave her some shit and then went home in a huff to sort it out. So I get there, wade through the water, and get the pump working. No problem right? I am kind of a big deal, people know me! That's when the hose seal busted and the pump pumped water from the basement floor directly into my face at about 90MPH!!! So my lady and the water guy are yelling at me from upstairs, I am standing in a foot of water w/ a steady stream of brown water spraying in my face and I can't risk yanking the power plug for the fear of electrocution!!!!! So that was fun. Surprisingly enough, when people tell you to buy a house and stop paying rent to the man, they neglect to mention; rodents, taxes, lawn maintenance, appliance breakdowns, power outages, well issues, flooding, fire, painting, cleaning, plumbing... etc. Oh yeah, and some punk kids paintballed our house Tuesday night. On the bright side I do get to use a tractor to mow my lawn (w/ a cup holder for beer), I can pee off my porch anytime I want, and I can roll around the whole house buck naked if I so choose ( and w/ an Adonis body like mine, I like to show it off).

So I have been trying to mellow out, we are heading down to DC to see our good friends new place and I want to be in a good frame of mind. We always have a good time w/ them so it is something to look forward to. I haven't been to our capitol since I was in high school. Should be much different now that I can roll up to old Abe' Lincoln a few drinks deep! "You don't know me Abe!! You think you're better than me you honest son of a ..." Wait, what was I saying? You can only go to jail for threatening the current president right?

Anyway, to keep my spirits up and a smile on my face I have been enjoying these "Powerthirst" clips. Maybe I am juvenile, maybe I am an idiot... frankly, I don't care, I could watch these 1000 times and they would still be funny. I am on # 825 if you are counting at home.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5176

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-3qncy5Qfk&feature=dir