Jay About Town

OK

2012-02-03T15:29:00.000-05:00

So I have been "criticized" for my high standards for service. Jay, what do you have to do to actually be considered a legit service provider? Is there any way to please you your majesty?!?!?! Well, yes, in fact there is. Last weekend my special lady and I went into Eyes of the World on Church Street in order to have the lenses in my sunglasses adjusted. The younger gentleman who works there came over to say hello and see how we were doing and how we were enjoying our glasses. We have purchased 3 pairs of glasses there, the last time several months ago. Even though the place was packed the guy made a point of asking us questions, making sure we were happy w/ their product, and then giving us an accurate time frame in which he could meet our needs. He did not necessarily remember our names but he knew our faces and our frames! Beyond that he noticed my case was broken and gave me a new one. It is those small details that say to me... hey, I actually give a shit about your business! For that I will extend them my business and recommend them without reservations to everyone I know. So there you go, my love affair w/ Eyes of the World!

BOOBS!!!

2012-01-30T16:54:00.000-05:00

Again I am trying to determine how traffic finds its way to Jay About Town. That header should do something right? Right?!?!?1

So boobs right... That guy my wife and I saw making a left turn while listening to huge headphones and reading a magazine on Route 7? Yup, giant boob.

Well, that took awhile...

2012-01-30T16:46:00.000-05:00

The Fiddlehead Brewery finally opened in Shelburne, across from the winery on rt.7. I am always interested in new beers in the area so clearly I stopped in for the opening weekend. It is a beautiful space. Clean, wide open, and w/ huge windows so you can check out the process from the tasting room. There was no shortage or loiterers. Like many new VT businesses this one is trying to pull off the family operation thing it seems. I like the idea but you really can't run a business that way. There is too much distraction. That was clearly the case here. This place has been in the hopper for months. When I showed up I was the only one there looking to actually pay hard currency for anything and yet I was not as interesting as the "intern", the "soon to be restaurant employee", the 6 kids, or the random guy at the end of the bar. The helpless girl behind the bar had little knowledge of the beer and also was unsure about brewery capacity etc... One older woman was more knowledgeable but was distracted and back and forth between the bar and the brewery floor. The brewmaster was also back and forth but not very interested in conversing. This place has been a woulda coulda shoulda for awhile now. The restaurant which is a pizza joint is still not open even though the building owner is the proprietor. They would be well served to focus on customers and build a following rather than chat w/ their deadbeat friends. The beer is not that good. It is ok but lacks depth. I had a growler of the IPA. It had the hop bitterness but not that nice fresh flavor or aroma. A few of the really solid hoppy offerings out there locally like the Hill Farmstead beers, the Heady Topper, even the Zero Gravity TLA have a depth of flavor and aroma that make the first sip as good as the last. This one takes awhile to kill your taste buds in order to enjoy. There is potential there but it is not one of my favorites. It is always hard to tell how a business will do in VT because the people are weird but if I were a betting man (and I am), I would say they will be lucky to make it 1 year. Clearly this one has a tough location (great for me though), terrible service or business acumen, and so far so so beer. The pizza place had better be great. Seriously, shape up Fiddlehead, you have a ton of potential but a little too much smuggery.

On the flip side another in the Flatbread incestuous family, El Cojito made another positive impression on us Saturday. The tacos were pretty fresh and tasted good. I even thought the goat special w/ puffed tortilla was solid. The margs which I tried for the first time are ok... a little heavy on that lime acidity. The beers are cheap but everything else is a little overpriced, that is my one complaint. Otherwise the food was good, the service acceptable, and the place was pretty full at 2pm which is a good sign. Ole!

Let's do it again! Beer Funnel Time!!!!!

2012-01-26T16:00:00.000-05:00

My most searched term on this blog is some derivative of ice luge. Apparently when people want to read about or determine the construction of an ice luge they are directed to this little slice of heaven. Well, let's try it again. How about we examine the construction of a beer funnel, also known as a beer bong. Are you 21 years of age or older? Ok, cool. First, go to your local hardware store and purchase (don't steal) a plastic funnel. Don't be a pansy, get the big one, 22oz at least! You will also need a length of flexible rubber hose, about 2' long and 2.5-3mm in diameter. Make sure it fits snugly to the bottom of the funnel which should be about 2.5mm. If not exact you can always duct tape that shit tight. You will also need a 30 rack of cheap light beer, preferably Natural Light or Bud Light. Worried about the contact w/ the plastic you may be ingesting? Seriously, stop being a fruitcake! You are in process of killing brain cells so the incremental plastic exposure is minimal. Ok, place the hose tightly over the bottom small opening of the funnel. Your construction is complete! Now get on one knee. hold the other unattached end of the hose at equal height to the funnel and place one thumb over the hose opening. Pour 1-2 beers into the funnel depending on your level of rock star awesomeness. put the hose in your mouth and lift or have a partner lift the funnel above your head... and prepare to enjoy! You have just funneled a beer my friend. And maybe poured beer all over yourself, sprayed it all over onlookers, shot beer out your nose... or puked! It's a party!!!!

Now, don't be an idiot, this site is a joke so don't go funnelling beer like you are Keith Richard's golf caddie. Speaking of jokes...

Jay About Pistou

2012-01-23T16:16:00.000-05:00

Finally made my way over to Pistou over by August First on main street and something or rather. It was a short lived over priced tapas joint and a weird Greek coffee shop before that. The current incarnation is a clean high quality fancy bistro type thing. I got a little shit about it from my fellow diners as it is a Middlebury alums operation but the kids running the show are much younger than I am and I have no specific axe to patronize a Midd. joint. That said the space is clean and bright and certainly comfortable enough. We had lunch, I went w/ the 1/2 mackerel sandwich and soup combo. The soup was rutabaga and celery root and was very good. Earthy but a little sweet and a great consistency, almost thick foam. It was very good. The sandwich was pretty solid as well. It was cold cured mackerel w/ frise and garlic aioli on a crusty baguette. The bread was great, the mackerel was mild and the aioli had nice flavor w/out being overpowering. The whole this was good. The prices were steep but not outrageous and the service was solid but a little slow for the small number of patrons. Not sure I will make a habit of this as I very rarely am able to sit down for lunch and the site is a little off the run (out of sight, out of mind)... but I thought this was a very nice meal and look forward to trying dinner.

As a quick aside we had another pretty solid meal at Antidote in Vergennes Friday night. It was packed w/ a band and the over 40 local crowd (not attractive). Drinks were hard to get but delicious and the sidecar for my Manhattan was money. I had a brisket sandwich and it was very good. Well cooked meat and a nice BBQ sauce. That place is really quite good and seems to fly under the radar.

That is it. Dry and boring review. How about those Patriots? Did not really play well and still in the Super Bowl.

J.A.T. Exclusive!!!

2012-01-20T13:55:00.000-05:00

Here at Jay About Town we received exclusive unreleased (and possibly... entirely fake) excerpts from last night's Republican debates!

CNN's John King: Mr. Gingrich, an explosive interview has just come out in which your ex-wife describes your requests for an open marriage among other tawdry details. How do you respond?

Newt Gingrich: This is another example of the left leaning media agenda attacking America like a child molester. Good decent Americans cannot even think about becoming president these days. Maybe I did want Gingrich gang bangs, and maybe I did kill a gardener for messing up my rose bushes, and maybe I did collect millions for advising fees from fat cats I now denounce? Remember Bill Clinton... I can't be worse than he was right?

Mr. King: Sir I am a registered Republican.

Gingrich: Commie!

King: Ok, moving on... Mr. Romney, you have been criticized as a consolidator and have benefited from the pain of others in your capacity at Bain Capital in the 80s. How would you characterize your time there.

Mitt Romney: Well, there was a time that we were a firm, as it were, that was not per ce, strictly speaking, a more or less better or worse, but usually quite the opposite, conglomerate, who consulted on this and that in order to further an agenda for others.

King: What?

Romney: Exactly!

King: Uh, will you release your tax returns?

Romney: Would Brigham Young take 12 wives?

King: I have no idea?

Romney: Romney 1... King 0. And that will be $17354863.00 for the billable hours!

King: I am confused. Ron Paul, why the f*** are you still here?

Ron Paul: Gadzooks!

King: Seriously, this is devolving quickly. Mr. Santorum, you have come out of nowhere to be a real factor in the deep red of the conservative core. What would you attribute your resurgence to?

Santorum: Well, an improved focus. Plus, I hate Obama, immigrants, poor people, and gays.

King: You what?

Santorum: Let's stay on message here... did you forget about that philanderer Newt?

King: I, uh, suppose I have?

Gingrich: You are a dirty hippy John. But your wife is very attractive... what are you guys doing after this shindig?

King: And with that I will turn it over to Wolf Blitzer in the studio!

****speaking of terrible ideas...
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2012/01/20/sega-aims-for-new-revenue-stream-with-urinal-video-game/?intcmp=features

So

2012-01-13T16:18:00.000-05:00

There is strong and then there is Army strong. And then there is old man strong. And sinewy strong, And then there is huge fat guy surprisingly strong. And then there is the smell of 2 day old chili farts strong. And Superman strong. And then there is stuck on syrup cap strong. Then there is 10% alcohol beer strong (which is sneaky strong... I have heard). Then there is the talent in South Beach strong. Finally there is Jay About Town joke strong. That one is not always so strong. Not like Tebow media love strong.

Stopped by new Mexican joint El Cortijo. It was pretty good. Guacamole was really good but the garlic was intense. We had a queso fundito that was pretty ok but a little thin... not as good as Frida's. I had 3 tacos. The Pollo was good, needed more flavor though. The special taco had fried plantains and was quite good. The plantains were crispy and had good flavor. The sweet potato and kale taco w/ pumpkin seeds was ok but I wish the sweet potatoes were a mash rather than fried up like tiny breakfast potatoes. Overall it was a good early showing. Service at the bar was good, it was crowded but not uncomfortable... and pricey. As usual for Burlington Mexican, the price is too high and the food is good not great. But I will go back because ok Mexican is still Mexican. Let the farting begin!!!!!!!

Jay About South Beach

2012-01-12T16:24:00.000-05:00

I was in Miami over the weekend for a conference and I will tell you that South Beach in January ain't bad! It was sunny and 75 every day. The last 2 years this conference was in D.C.. As you can imagine, meetings at the Delano hotel possibly in a cabana by the pool is much better than in a stuffy overheated small conference room in the Marriott. Conversations were good and people were surprisingly focused although most folks had similar ideas about the market which always makes me nervous, you know, the lemming phenomena. In any event, it was great to be warm for a few days. I can give 1 definitive review and it is the hotel I stayed in. Lots of people had corporate discounts or just a ton of money and could stay at the Shore Club, or the Delano, or the Loews. I had neither and stayed at The Albion. It was small and clean which I suppose was fine for me. One friend showed me a picture of blood stains on the ottoman in their room at the Shelburne. Probably want to avoid that place. Just sayin'. Anyway, on the plane from NY to Florida I noticed that the plane was 40% folks over 65 and 40% families. I had one Canadian dude behind me snorting in snot loudly every 5 seconds and next to me was a 13 year old girl who talked too loud and coughed and sneezed all over me for 3 hours. Needless to say I am sick right now.

So the old folks brigade continued at the Albion. It was a steady stream of octogenarians that culminated w/ the old lady that was mad that the elevator stopped on more than one floor and kept yammering on about the 3 banana for $1 down the street at the farmer's market. I did not venture to the pool. One last thing... if you are thinking about renting a yellow Lamborghini to impress everyone in town, probably figure out how to drive it and or do not get it in bright yellow. Otherwise you will look like an asshole, until that smoking hot model/hooker gets out of the car w/ you. Then you are still an asshole but guys will be at least a little envious.

F*** It

2012-01-06T16:06:00.000-05:00

I apologize if this post sucks... I have been in a pretty foul mood this week and have not been sleeping well. Frankly I am disgusted w/ some of the bullshit I have seen recently but that is neither here nor there so let's dive into some NYC restaurant reviews shall we?

One night we hit up sushi at Takahashi in Tribecca and as usual it was excellent w/ a very good vibe and reasonable prices. I have reviewed this one before so let's move on. Motorino Pizza in the east village. Excellent as well. The crust was a little charred and somehow was crispy on the outside but soft and chewy like a bagel on the inside. Certainly unlike the typical NY pizza experience but really very good. They serve up individual pies and even though you think you will not finish it... you just might! I had sausage, garlic, and Cremini mushrooms that also featured deliciously salty Gaeta olives. My special lady went w/ the Magherita which had some off the hook tomato sauce as well as fantastic Mozz. One odd thing was that the specialty pizza was sold out and it was not even 7:30 when we got there? Also feature an excellent but pricey beer and wine selection.

One day we hit up lunch at Parm on Mulberry between Prince and Spring. This place is sick. They take old school "Americanized Italian" and just make it delicious. We shared a couple sodas, a salad, mozzarella sticks, and a chicken parm sandwich. The cheese sticks were ridiculous w/ tender cheese and phenomenal breading that was not at all greasy. The sandwich? Great chicken, great cheese, and amazing red sauce that is sweet and tomato-y and just delicious. This place is tight, chatty, and very good.

I need to look up the name of the Thai place we ate... it was a funny experience but I need to hold off. How about fun drinks? One night we had a couple cocktails at Weather Up which was nice but the real deal was Angel's Share in the East Village. It is a speak easy type joint that you need to "discover" by going into an unmarked door in the waiting lobby of a Japanese restaurant filled w/ families waiting for sushi. Once inside you must sit down... there is no standing allowed. The scene is intimate and clubby. They have an excellent supply of booze w/ some very nice Japanese whiskies. They also mix up pretty solid cocktails including the Manhattan I enjoyed. Some of the drinks are gimmicky and it is not a super friendly chat w/ the bartender place but if you want to feel cool and exclusive but you are not either this is a decent place. Bring your wallet.

So that is brief and not awesome but there you go w/ a few recommendations for your next time in the big city. Now I am going to find someone on Church Street to kick me in the balls a bunch of times, I am just starting to get used to the feeling and want to stay sharp.

Hard Getting Back in the Swing

2012-01-03T16:34:00.000-05:00

I took some time off over the holidays and after 10 glorious days of not sitting in this not so pleasant seat I can assure you it is difficult getting back in the game. I did get quite a bit of work done though so that is good. When people tell you they worked all day don't you often wonder what the f*** they actually occupy themselves w/ all day? Well I am not giving away my secrets! In any event... we spent most of last week in NYC and I have plenty of restaurant reviews to get to. I am tired today though so I am going to stiff my loyal readers (both of you) and do a quick couple of movie reviews.

One afternoon we had planned to take a walk up the West Side to a newer park and check it out but it started raining and between the cold, the wind, and the rain my lady and I decided maybe it was a movie day. It is tough to get a week rolling with steady bar hopping at 1pm, although not impossible. We went to the theater over in the World Financial Center complex and it is really quite nice. It was big, and clean, and not very crowded. The stadium seating was fantastic and the screen and sound were excellent. We plopped down somewhere in the neighborhood of $823,365,365.00 for the two of us and settled in for what was sure to be mentally stimulating, Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows. It was long. I enjoyed it, my wife not so much. It is big and loud and there are explosions and stupid one liners. It was an acceptable way to spend a rainy day in my opinion if you like that sort of mental trash (which I do). It is best experienced on the big screen if you have a chance. We both agreed it was better than the first Sherlock Holmes movie and that was mainly due to the bad guy Moriarty who was pretty good. I'd give it a soggy 1 thumb up.

Next up was a rental... Limitless with Bradley Cooper. This one was free on Netflix (well, you know, not really free). The title was not accurate. There is a limit, to my patience. This movie kind of sucked. It did not really make sense, the characters were not compelling, and it featured a now expected Robert Deniro special delivery. That guy mails in so much stuff these days he must get a special UPS rate. To be fair I have seen worse but I would not suggest this one unless you are really bored, or like Bradley Cooper. 1 thumb down.

Another rental in the mix... The Devil's Double. This one was about the guy who was Uday Hussein's body double in the 90s. That guy Uday was f*d up in the head, seriously. The story stays pretty true to historical fact according to several Internet sources I looked up until a bit of a leap at the end but they sort of had to make that jump. I didn't know any of the actors but they were all pretty good especially the lead guy who was excellent in double duty as the body double and Uday. Plenty of excitement and intrigue. I'd give it 1 2/3rd thumbs up.

Last but not least (that was Limitless) was The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, over at the theater in SoBu. This cost a fraction of what the NY theater was and for obvious reasons. Whatever, on to the movie. It was pretty good. It stuck to the book for the most part and was just uncomfortable enough. There was a slight change at the end and they left some things out but I am not sure they were necessary so it did not bother me at all. It was still a long movie at around 3 hours. Daniel Craig was good and so was Mara Rooney who pulled off the androgynous, punky, yet still kind of sexy lead. The bad guy was also solid as a creepy killer. We both liked it and thought the time went by effortlessly. I think this one would work on the big or small screen though it was shot pretty well and the big screen gave it some gravitas. I am giving it 1 1/2 thumbs up.

So there you go. More on the NYC trip to come so stay tuned... I am back in the game!!!

Happy Holidays... Want to See My Nuts?!?!?!

2011-12-22T14:25:00.000-05:00

How about my balls then?

Too soon for a cock joke?

Jay About to Explode!

2011-12-22T14:23:00.000-05:00

I ate several ribs, a pulled pork sandwich, a couple fried pickles, french fries, sweet potato fries, some brisket... I think that is it... at Big Fatty's last night. It was delicious but I thought I was going to barf. I love beer, seriously, no a forbidden love but like if my wife ever leaves me I might re-marry and the lucky lady will be St. Pauly Girl in a 16oz can!!! Well, last night i was si full I had to leave a 3/4 full brew dog to avoid a messy explosion. I was embarrassed, I hid the beer behind a ketchup bottle. Frikcin' holidays.

So as it is the end of the year do I need to have a top ten list or something? Nah... I'm not doing that this time. Let's relfect on the season for a moment. How many cookies have you eaten in the past 4 weeks? Me? 1325846887. Not counting brownies, cake, pie, and other treats. What are going to be the best holiday gifts you get that you f*ing do not need because it is a device you only need once in a great while but you get a new one every year? Wine stopper? How many people keep 17 open bottles of wine in the house? Well, we could... we have the stoppers to make it happen! Who needs coasters? Not this guy! And who could survive w/out a flashlight of some sort? Well, if you find yourself running low we have them strewn throughout the house!!! So anyway, here is a gift from me to you.

Friday!!!

2011-12-16T14:33:00.001-05:00

I forgot

2011-12-15T16:42:00.000-05:00

About one of the real gems in Philly... so we cruise down into the lobby of the hotel on Saturday and there were a shit ton of foo foo dipshits w/ their dogs in the lobby. Ok, it seemed weird but there was a pamphlet in our room about how the hotel was pet friendly and everything so I didn't really think about it. Well, later when we came back the lobby was still full of dogs. And there was Santa. Now it is getting really weird. So yup, all these ya-yos are there to have a picture taken w/ Santa and their dog. Well, it makes sense... you want to create memories Bowser will remember when he is all grown up! They do grow up so fast, just last year Spike was 14 and this year he is 21!!!

BTW, I made the mistake of perusing the Rolling Stone top 100 guitarist list. These things are always so dumb, but so am I so I read lists because they are easy to digest... like soup. Anyway, somehow James Hetfield is on the list but Kirk Hammett who is obviously the better guitar player is not. Meanwhile Robert Johnson who is a legendary influence is only at # 71 behind the likes of John Lennon who may be many amazing things but he is an only ok to good guitar player? Tom Morello is fine but ahead of Mark Knopfler or Muddy Waters? Nope. Johnny Ramone at 28? If you can only play 2 chords can you really be at #28? F*ck that.

Well, anyway... I need to go doll up Boomer my cat... we are heading over to Sears for our family photo!!!

Jay About Philadelphia

2011-12-12T17:27:00.000-05:00

We had a wedding down in Philly this weekend and it was not too bad. It is always fun to visit a new city as an adult and see the sights. We flew in direct Friday mid day and it was an easy trip. I noticed that there is very little traffic for a major city. Especially to and from the airport which is a very quick jaunt. I also noticed that while the streets feel very tight and right on top of you the buildings are not very tall. It is just a tight well laid out grid of brick town houses w/ an occasional taller office building or hotel. The city was relatively clean and seemed safe. It was not a particularly good looking city like New York. It seemed more blue collar/ Midwestern? The airport is a real piece of shit and they have some real assholes working there. It is dirty and gross but the planes we were on were on time so that is something.

While there we wandered around and ate some pretty good food. My special lady and I stayed at the Palomar which is a Kimpton hotel very much in their corporate image. It was clean, modern, kind of hip. The bed was very comfortable and they had nice bath products. Oh yeah, and zebra and leopard print bathrobes.

We wandered out the first day and ate at some random tapas place that I cannot remember the name of. What I do remember is that lunch really stayed w/ me. That and we tried a bottle of "authentic Basque apple cider" called Stasteg. It was described as funky and it sure as shit was. The first sip tasted vaguely of urine. It got better and more interesting but I will never order it again. It was an adventure in a bottle, that I will say.

We had a drink at Alam de Cuba a very cool Cuban restaurant. It was garnished w/ sugar cane and was a real treat. We then moved onto dinner at Amada a sick tapas joint near the old part of the city. It was delicious. The Wagyu was great, the octopus was amazing, the scallops were divine as was the spinach and chickpea dish. It was all very excellent and the setting was cool as well. Bring your checkbook though, it is expensive. 1 3/4 thumbs up. After that we met some friends and that is were it all went awry... let's just say we had a fun time... too fun and spots like Grace's and the Good Dog Bar. It was a long and painful evening.

Next morning we got up late and wandered to Pietro's coal fired pizza place. It was good not great and the servings were huge. The crust was good and it was a relaxed scene which was nice. After that we wandered around taking in the sights and checking out the neighborhoods. Then on to the wedding at the Philadelphia Raquet Club. It was an old school raquet club and pool w/ several very good size and reasonably priced rooms. The ceremony was in the grand entrance and was quite nice. We had a casual buffet dinner and drinks were in a couple lounges complete w/ crazy old school art and pimp red leather club chairs. It was a cool scene and a very nice wedding. We managed to pull the ripcord before the after after party and that was huge.

Our last bite was at the Parc Diner which is a very large and bustling french bistro style place on the park (as you might imagine). It was quite professional. The food was good, not outstanding. I had poached eggs and asparagus, my wife had an omelet. The coffee was good, and the service was pretty much on top of things. I would like to try it again for a casual late lunch as opposed to hung over breakfast.

And then it was back to the dirty airport for our flight out. All I will say about that is that it all ended ok but US Air, you are not ok. Train your people not to be assholes. And stop ripping people's faces off. Jerks.

Good trip, I am a Phan of the City of Brotherly Love...

Jay About... the U-Mall?!

2011-12-06T17:19:00.000-05:00

So this past weekend we were looking to upgrade my special lady's phone and a logical place to start was the Verizon spot in the mall on Church Street. Except for the small detail that they had just moved to the University Mall in SoBu. Shit. Ok, whatever, we can cruise over there. When we moved back to Burlington some years ago the U-Mall looked like it was straight out of a zombie movie... or Iran. It was about 70% dark w/ bad lighting, yards between open stores and construction for construction's sake everywhere. It was a huge space that had a Sears, and Country Buffet, and maybe a seasonal calendar shop open. It was depressing. The mall came up as a selling point for a commercial real estate deal proposed to my company from a guy down in NYC. I asked him if he had ever been to the mall and laughed at him. Fast forward to a couple years ago and I needed a pair of sneakers. The nearest place I could find an Olympia Sports or similar spot was the good old U-Mall. It was now probably 88% occupied and a few large stores had moved into the empty spaces including a Kohls. The lighting was still bad, the stores were still mostly transitional, the place was pretty sparse with shoppers and it was still a little depressing as malls go but it was somewhat useful and I was able to buy sneakers. Well, when we went in the other day it was a revelation. The place was totally different. Granted it is the holidays but it was packed w/ people. The place was bight and well lit and probably close to 95% occupied w/ the only dead spaces out in random corridors to the parking lot. There were big well know stores as well as kiosks of every type. You need a cell phone? No problem. A red sox hat, t-shirt, mug, bumper sticker, floor mat, full body suit? No problem. Some random piece of goofy clothing? They have got you covered! My favorite stores were the hippy clothing stores w/ 240 wool hats and a shit ton of those weirdly cut sweat shirt type things made out of rope... and the dollar+ store which featured calendars, old people collectibles, and bongs. Sure, why not? Who doesn't want a miniature porcelain schnauzer and a bong for $2? We did not get the phone but you have come a long way U-Mall!!!

In an aside note... I was recently looking at my stats for this blog and I am pretty disturbed at what searches have brought people to my little stitch and bitch. I am not sure how "young Japan boy" is possibly incorporated in any one post in this blog but it is apparently a pretty popular search topic and will probably create a spike in views on this post as well. Of course the second highest hit rate is for a post entitled "Here them ring, ding a ling". I am pretty sure you can figure out what search term is bringing folks to that post. Does this make me feel a little not awesome? Yup it sure does. I would think more people would find me looking for "U-Mall", "F*** you", "shitty teenage girls driving while texting", maybe even "supper club". Are people not searching for supper clubs on the internet?!?!?! Well then I am not sure what to think.

So

2011-12-04T16:51:00.000-05:00

Let's just say I might have spoken too soon when it comes to Ri Ra's as a food option. My stomach lost control like a fat kid w/ cake! Seriously, I had to pull into a Dunkin Donuts to f*ck the place up not 15 minutes from my house and that was not the worst of it (which I will not describe). So I am downgrading to a 1 thumb used to plug the dyke.

Ok, on to more pleasant news. We got our Christmas tree today... yeah, I know it is early but we are travelling later this month so we had to pull the trigger early to actually enjoy it. It was kind of funny negotiating w/ 13 year olds, we bought our tree from the Boy Scouts. Should I have fake punched them to get the price down? Probably not, I would have found myself hod tied in a 4 square knot being handled by the Lord of the Flies! Anyway, we got the tree home and realized we had a slightly fuller Charlie Brown tree. Well, f*ck you! It is our Charlie Brown tree and I love it!!!!!

I saw a "Free Palestine" bumper sticker the other day and I wanted to ram the dipshit off the road. For one, the Palestinian territory is free no? They vote for their own terrorist leaders and everything? Should they get their own "state"? Sure, why not? Why not beg Jordan or Lebanon? Look, I am not Jewish or a Republican so I don't give a shit about Israel. Have they been there forever? Sure... so have Christians, Muslims, and whoever was there before all of them. What I do know is that every time the Israelis try to give a little ground to appease the feel good crowd some Hamas asshole launches a shit ton of rockets into some innocent families backyard. The moment Israel gives ground and the Palestinians actually respond w/ peace not savagery I will think about not punching the hippy w/ the "Free Palestine" bumper sticker in the face! So go and eat more kale asshole.

Hey, how about Tim Tebow winning again. Has a shittier QB ever won more games? Flutie? Grossman? That guy who played for the Ravens and now says dumb stuff on TV? Amazing! Good for you Tim. Now way you can beat the Patriots...

Hey How About Ri-Ra's?!

2011-12-02T16:23:00.000-05:00

Had lunch there and it was not too bad... We started off w/ some hot wings which had pretty ok flavor. What was nice was that we asked for them to be crispy and they sure as shit were crispy. We also had sweet potato tater tots which were excellent! For my entree I had a Rueben. It was not great but not terrible. The fries were sucky. Service was good but it was way overpriced. All in all an interesting off the run lunch spot that I never think of. I needed the greese and cheese. My body is way to lean right now!

http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6661087/party-frog

Holiday Season

2011-11-29T15:14:00.000-05:00

We are in it. I am getting pretty not slim w/ the excess of food and drink. I needed my winter weight anyway. Gets pretty cold up here. So a couple funny things to start the week. Went to dinner last night and the conversation ended w/ talk of prostate exams and little weiners (not mine of course... it is average, AVERAGE DAMMIT!!!). I enjoyed it immensly. We were walking to grab a coffee Monday and a woman coming out of the record store missed a step and took a fantastic spill. She got up and was fine. I could not stop giggling. Kharma enacted its vengance in the form of a faulty coffee lid that spilled coffee all over my pant leg and shoe. It was worth it. Somebody is somking either in the stairwell or up by the airconditioning vent in our building. Thanks A-holes. I am trying to kill myself w/ booze and high colesterol not smoke inhalation!!! Occupy Burlington now occupying warm apartments. Quitters. Hey everybody, how about that Euro! Let's give them a hand... and 1.5 Trillion dollars. Maybe John Corzine should get in the mix. Awwww, too soon?! Here is a good away to look at some of our current financial issues being f*d up by the super shitty committee

Um, I guess that is about it. I have basketball tonight so I will have to interupt my girth aquisition for at least a day. Back on the horse tomorrow!

It is Montreal Time!!!

2011-11-21T16:56:00.000-05:00

Special lady and I needed a little urban renewal time this weekend so we headed up to Montreal for the weekend. It was a pretty ok trip. I can start off by saying it will most likely be a long time before my wife allows me to pick a hotel for a trip again. I admit she puts more time and thought into decisions than I do. I had the mission this time and did some work but not enough. My choice? Le Hotel St. Marc... not surprisingly on St. Marc street over by St. Catherine. It looked like a funky boutique and had positive reviews on Trip Advisor. Well, it sure as shit was funky. We were welcomed by a girl that barely spoke english or french. To get to our room we went up a staircase and into a kitchen/ dining room that was overly full of junk and looked like my house when we have guests we only kind of like. Sort of clean but not really. We then descended a super tight spiral staircase to our room. The room was very large. It had a 60" TV. And several chandeliers, and multiple surround speakers in the ceiling, and fake stained glass stickers on the sliding glass doors. To top it off? The largest Murphy bed you have ever seen. Oh yeah, they also gave us a key that did not work and when we were out to dinner taped a key that did work to the outside of our door. Glad I left our passports in the room. 1 thumb down. Just pick a different place, you will thank me.

We made up for it w/ a few pretty good meals. We rocked a local hotspot Au Pied de Cochon on Friday night. If you like meat, particularly the weird bits like cheek, hoof and snout this is your place. We had delicious cod fritters, an ok endive salad, a tasty but enormous pork chop, and very solid but cut too small fires (in duck fat). It was a solid thumb and a 1/4 up until unsolicited our server gave us couple large glasses of Calvados. 2 thumbs up for the service my man!!!

Saturday we went to LBsquared spot Sho-Dan for sushi. While not as amazing as our first trip it was still very good fresh tasting sushi and I would recommend it unfailingly. The explosion roll was a little disappointing but still good and the Kiss was very good. Good service, good fish, and apparently THE spot if you are either out on a girls only evening or you are a skeevy single guy looking to pick up said women!

One last thing to mention was the Atwater Marche. This was a huge indoor/outdoor market that had a bit of everything. It is broken into stations and you can do a bite to eat at the pastry and coffee area and then hit up the butcher, the fish guy, the awesome fromagiers, the beer cellar, maybe grab some flowers and finish w/ amazing fruits and vegetables. Everything looked fantastic and I would shop there every weekend if I lived in that city. Even the bakery fare to go was delicious, particularly the still warm almond croissant. Off the hook. If you find yourself in the area, definitely check it out.

One thing not to check out? The Dilemma. It was on HBO last night and sucked balls but not in a good way. Vince Vaughn is really pissing me off right now. Stop making shitty movies, just stop it!!!

H&K

2011-11-18T15:53:00.000-05:00

Went to see Harlod and Kumar Save Christmas last night. It was pretty funny. I thought the first one was great, the second one was very funny, and this one was pretty funny. It was in 3-D and they played up the angle very well. Would I prefer less dongs and more boobs? Sure. But the whole thing was filled w/ crude jokes I generally enjoy and shit flying at you from nowhere. One funny thing is that we got there 5-10 minutes early and there was nobody there. I suppose it makes sense when the stoners showed up to the stoner movie 5 minutes late. Most of the crowd was probably picketing Merchant's Bank. Also there was a line at 7:30 for the midnight showing of the new Twilight movie. A line that apparently started at 1pm! What the f***?!?! First off it was a Thursday. Don't you have school at 1pm? Secondly, who lets their kid stay out until 2am on a school night to watch some stupid movie that will be in the theater at regular hours for weeks? Fat dorky kids parents apparently...

I have other things related to my day to day situation that I would also like to say but probably shouldn't. One interesting note is that much like the 99% protesters, there is a growing legion of folks who seem hell bent on f*cking themselves in the ear. They don't know how to do it or even why they want to do it but they are DETERMINED to get it done!!! Unfortunately I am the ear.

OK, I have a couple things to talk about

2011-11-15T16:16:00.000-05:00

First off, I met up w/ my special lady for date night a couple days ago at The Antidote in Vergennes. Vergennes is a funny town that is in perpetual gentrification mode but never quite gets there. It does have some very pleasant and unpretentious chow spots and this is one of them. We rolled in and sat at the counter behind the bar (actually I was a couple minutes late and my lady already had a drink). I ordered one up as well, a Manhattan. It was well executed and well presented w/ a very solid sidecar in ice. Nice start. We started our dinner off w/ poutine. I wish they used better cheese curds but ther gravy was a delicious sort of sweet Guinness gravy that was not bad at all. My lady went w/ a ceasar salad w/ chicken which was pretty good but had a little too much chicken. I had a modified Cuban sandwich that was porkilichious. It featured habenero pickled onions and pickles, and it was good. The side salad was also quite good. The service was pleasant and attentive and the price was very reasonable. I would go back no doubt... let's call it 1 2/3rds thumbs up.

Sunday I was down in NYC and took in the Foo Fighters at MSG. They were really good. I had been a luke warm fan for awhile. I mean they are what they are, a power pop band that rocks out and creates anthems not unlike Bon Jovi. Seriously, Bon Jovi could have done that Hero song right? Which is fine, I like those guys too. Well, I think frontman Dave Grohl really gets the joke. He played to the crowd, he pumped his fist, he banged his head and ran all over the stage. Most importantly they absolutely rocked out. It was loud and it was tight. They played for 3 straight hours w/ no breaks and had a sick encore that featured Joan Jett who looked and sounded great for an 82 year old woman. It was a really fun time and if you like a rock concert not a goof fest in a coffee house... get your ass out to see the Foo!!

Overall it was a great weekend that I am still hurting from. I could not hear properly for 18 hours. That is good right?

Well, that did not go well!

2011-11-11T12:20:00.000-05:00

We here in Burlington, VT have our own "Occupy" movement. I am not sure which of the mostly local banks they are picketing, I am sure they are quite upset with that behemoth known as Key Bank! Or even TD which is not a U.S. controlled bank at all... uh, Toronto Dominion you dumb f***s! In any event there are a group of asswipes camped out in the City Hall Park and chanting bullshit from time to time. Well one of them decided to shoot someone, possibly himself and now there is a dead body. I drove by this morning and the cops are everywhere w/ police tape all over the park. It is a mess. In fact, it appears that most of these campsites are a mess, filled w/ robberies, assaults, and worse. That is not a surprise given the mix of vagrants, and fools who have no organization and an unclear cost. Well, congrats VT... you may have just jump started the end of the Occupy movement. And for that I salute you!

http://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/article/20111110/NEWS02/111110019/occupy-burlington-shooting?odyssey=tab|topnews|text|FRONTPAGE

Let's Go Out of Bounds!

2011-11-08T15:30:00.002-05:00

First thing is first, there is a Citgo station in Shelburne Village that recently was renovated w/ new gas pumps and all of that. It has always been overpriced and guilty of employing ass clown high school punks. Whatever. I needed gas this morning and the price was reasonable so I decided to give the new digs a spin. I swiped my card took out the nozzle and selected my grade. I started to pump the gas except... no gas. Ok, sometimes you have to wait for the attendent to fire the pump up. I waited, and waited, and waited. Finally I waled in and asked the dipshit why the pump was not working. He said the machine read my card, did I select a grade? I am 35 years old. I have been a licensed driver in the U.S. for 19 years, over half of my entire life. I am pretty sure I know how to use a f*ing gas pump! So I walk back out, re-swipe, push the desired grade of gasoline and squeeze the pump. Nothing. What the F*CK?!?! So the attendent comes out and examines my work, seems I am not a moron and actually can figure out how to use a gas pump? Weird! He goes back in and figures out they had not turned on the breaker for the pump. So you are a gas station who did not turn on the gas pumps? Business for Playboy air fresheners must be good! Anyway, I get the pump going and set the auto hitch, then go into the store for a coffee. I wait for the guy in front of me to fix his coffee, and then fix mine, checking the types of blend, then adding cream and a top. I then wait in line for another coffee buyer and a woman buying a pack of gum. Was I offered a complimentary coffee for my troubles? I forgot I was in Shelburne. I was lucky I did not have to pay double for bothering a Shelburne worker with something as pithy as turning on the gas pumps!!! After that nonsense I roll out to the car expecting the car to be filled. Nope... $9.22 and filling so slowly you would think it was pumping the gas from the very center of the earth!! I wait for another 5 minutes and I am only at $11. Time to cut this failed experiment off. Thanks for the kick in the testicles Shelburne Citgo, I needed that to start my day!

OK, on more fun news. I have to say I am enjoying the Beiber and Herman Cain sex scandals (Penn State not so much... that is tragic). I like to believe the Beiber story is true and that he is an aggressive a-hole behind the scenes. It is just funny. A 3'2" big headed bully! It is even more funny to think about Cain and Beiber cruising together for chicks, w/ Beiber being the bigger degenerate at the bar. "Hey Herman, look at those dirty birds over there... let's go get some tail!!!" "Yeah, Beibs, I like your style!". Haha.

In no way do I condone what these guys are accused of doing and if the stories are true they deserve to be fully prosecuted and that is serious especially in the case of any harrassment... that is not cool.

Maybe it would be better to imagine Beiber w/ a harmless degenerate, like Wooderson form Dazed and Confused. "Hey Beibs, you know what I like anout these high school girls? I get older and they stay the same age... yes they do..." "That is funny Woooderson... I like their boobs! Now pass that joint!!!"

I am in the wrong business

2011-11-04T14:10:00.000-04:00

I can't figure the f*ing stock market out. We get a shitty job number and unemployment is sticky at 9%. The G-20 can't figure out how to use the IMF or fund their bailout plans. MF Global lost clients' money, may have committed a crime, and will be a top 10 all time bankruptcy. Greece and Italy may dissolve their governments in days. And yet because Ireland may have a plan to save money and commodity prices are possibly up (which is not really a good thing for the consumer)... stocks are coming back and will most likely end the day up? Seriously?! Then there is Groupon whose IPO jumped 50% and is still up over 30% on the first day of trading. Groupon is a company that does not make money, in a space already being overrun by competitors, and supported by fickle consumers. And the stock is going up?!?! Are stock traders morons? I mean they have never been considered "smart money" but the moves over the last couple weeks is dumb.

Of course I am currently shaking my head over some folks who seem to have forgotten what their product is altogether. They make bacon. It is farm style and nothing fancy but it is pretty good. Instead of marketing the bacon, the powers that be are trotting out a whole pig complete w/ lipstick and a bow. Sure, the bacon is included but it gets lost in the pig's beautiful eyes...

Whatever, I guess I just don't get it.

Jay About Don Pedro

2011-10-31T16:49:00.000-04:00

So it was a pretty shitty start to the day today (though not as bad as some w/out power due to the snow). Yesterday the Patriots sucked some serious taint. I mean, I have not seen defense that bad since the karate kid slipped that crane kick in to knock Johnny on his ass. Towards the end of the game I started fighting w/ the wife, then I f*d up the spigot while bottling beer and poured sticky stout all over the floor. Meanwhile the cat was going f*ing crazy howling and scratching, and making a scene. Fast forward to this morning... our shower has this old fixture where you adjust a pin in or out to divert water to the tub or the shower. It is a stupid thing and had already broken once. Well, it got some use this weekend and this morning was busted, so we both took showers w/ very little water pressure while water poured out of the tub faucet. F*ck. Next, I am doing some business and when I go to grab some toilet paper the roller which was installed by a crooked contractor detaches from the wall and the TP rolls away. I hate my house. Traffic coming in sucked. When I got to the office the boiler was busted so the building had no heat. I went for a coffee but Starbucks is closed for renovations so I had to f*ing walk in the cold and wind to get my caffeine. What a pain in the ass.

Anywho, I had to run an errand in Winooski yesterday so my special lady and I took the opportunity to try out the new taqueira, Don Pedro's. We went in w/ low expectations as should be afforded to a cheap taco joint. It was not very full and a little busy in terms of menu and order space. We got a couple combo plates and a couple margs and settled in. They have decent tequila and the margarita's were actually quite good. The regular was a tad sweet but the blood orange was very good and tasted live juice as opposed to mix. We then got our food on a red tray and dug in. It was pretty simple but good. I had a rotisserie roasted chicken taco which was pretty solid and a very good Cabot cheese enchilada w/ red sauce. My lady had a chicken and braised beef taco. The beef was a little dry but the flavor was good. We also got chips which were crispy and not too greasy. The salsa were all pretty good w/ the avocado one a real winner, very limey. The owner stopped by to chat for a minute which was a nice touch... good to show pride in your business. Overall it was very enjoyable for what it was. I thought it was the best Mexican I have had locally, which is not a ringing endorsement but still, I liked it very much and would certainly be a repeat offender there. 1 1/2 thumbs up and could go higher w/ repeat success.

Rollin' Deep

2011-10-28T19:58:00.001-04:00

I had the distinct privilege of playing as a sub on my special lady's bowling team Wednesday night. Of course I was one of 3 subs on a four person team... disappointing head shake Rollin' Deep!!! Anywho, it was a pretty ok time. We had a jello shot, a couple ice cold light beers and by the last frame my lady and I were lighting it up! No turkeys but lots of strikes and spares. This funny guy playing next to us would hold his ball for awhile, take a couple deep breaths, then take 3 very light chicken like steps before rolling (a beautiful ball). There is no way to properly describe how weird the whole process was. I was in awe... and in an awesome camo Miller Light hat (thanks KC and the Sunshine Band!).

Was that the oddest thing I have experienced this week? Nope! For charity my boss was dressed up as a very not attractive woman in a red dress for Halloween. I was going to include a picture but I kind of like the guy (not that way!!!!) and frankly, you have probably seen that kind of action before. You know, a 6 foot, 200 pound, CEO in lip stick! Sorry, D, you are a good sport. It takes a big man to fit into a small dress. I was asked to also dress up as a woman but my legs are too hairy and having not stayed in good enough shape I am probably a little too busty for the dresses I was offered. Comfort was not an issue!!!!

BTW, I am watching my wife stir meat in cast iron right now. I have to go!!!!

Tiny Dancer

2011-10-25T16:26:00.000-04:00

My special lady and I ventured into Burlington Saturday night for dinner w/ friends. After a couple glasses of wine we decided to get a cab home. It is always sketchy trying to cab it to Charlotte but we found a guy in a pretty clean cab who actually had a meter! He estimated $35 for the ride which was about right. He was a big dude w/ a accent and huge hands. Like a Russian mobster or something. He actually looked like Buddy from Friday Night Lights. Whatever he was pleasant enough. Well, we start driving and he turns on the cd player. Peter Cetera. Not just Cetera like whatever I don't want to offend senior citizens... he is blaring it! And rocking out to it!!! For the next 20 minutes we rocked out to an all time easy listening mix turned up to 11. It was pretty amazing.

Probably never thought you would be watching a Peter Cetera video on this blog didn't you. Well, I guess you

Depressing

2011-10-21T11:09:00.001-04:00

I was waiting to grab a coffee at a local coffee shop this morning and I started to feel depressed. It wasn't anything to do w/ me though. It was being in that place. Can you imagine being in a place all day drinking coffee getting your heart and mind racing, meanwhile everyone is dressed like a hobo, speaking in hushed tones, and always... ALWAYS listening to the most depressing music available. I am not sure why these local spots have the XM radio set to the kill me please channel but shit! Not exactly like Friends, and not just because you never see Jennifer Aniston there either.

Stupid F*ing Math!!!!

2011-10-20T16:37:00.001-04:00

When is 1+1+1+1 not equal to 4? When that four is four Hill Farmstead Ephraim beers... at 10% alcohol! Had 4 beers last night which in Bud Light terms is like a Pepsi Cola. But dang, those Emphraims f*d me up!!! The small group of us were loud, obnoxious, and this morning telling war stories. Oh Hill Farmstead, you are sneaky, very sneaky!!! Well, I owe my wife something special for her understanding. Here it is...

Well, what do you know?!

2011-10-17T16:13:00.000-04:00

My special lady had a girls trip w/ friends this past weekend so old Jaybird was prepared for a nice weekend of football, crappy movies, and possibly a beer or 2. The weekend started off right w/ a team building hike up Stowe Pinnacle and then a goodbye to longtime Stowe staple The Shed which closes its doors after 50+ yrs in its current incarnation. That place was one of the first I ever went to in Stowe and has been a steady go to after a day on the mountain ever since. The food is decent pub fare and the beers for brewed in house are not too bad. Anyway, after some wings and such I found myself asleep on the couch at midnight w/ mac and cheese on the coffee table, an opened but un-drunk beer, the TV blaring on some random channel like the Cartoon Network, and the cat out in the mudroom losing his shit. Time for bed! The next morning I awoke at a reasonable hour but w/ a bit of a hangover. The home phone rang. WTF? The only people that call on the home phone are my wife and parents and both know not to call me before 10am. An emergency? Nope. It was friends calling to see if I wanted to go to the Shelburne Museum. I have lived in northern Vermont for about 10 years and in Charlotte for 6+ and even though it is less than 5 miles from my house and has an amazing collection of Americana... I had never been to the museum. Why would I want to go w/ my friends and their small children while hungover you may ask? A good question I asked myself. But what the f***, I wasn't doing anything else. It was a little rainy and cold which sucked but otherwise it was actually a quite pleasant experience. They have a ton of cool shit there and we didn't even see everything. I liked the circus room which had some cool old circus posters, the train was pretty cool, the old Dr office and the straight razor collection was intense. Even the old toy shop was very neat. Not sure it is politically correct to have a "darky" penny tossing bank anymore though? The old toy train was cool. We even went on the carousel which was really something. Mid day we hit up the food service joint which was for mass catered food pretty solid. I had a pulled pork sandwich and root beer. It was pretty good, could have used a little more BBQ but was cooked well and the pork had decent flavor. The funny thing about the whole museum was that it seemed like an excellent setting for a horror movie. I mean, old scary dentist and doctor tools? Straight razors? A gun exhibit? Scary clowns? The sketchy blacksmith? Don't go alone! Or w/ multiple teenage hot couples who just want to drink beer and have sex.

One last thing... it was funny to watch the guy running the old printing press screw up and then explain why he screwed up and then watch all the knuckleheads nod and chirp as if they too knew why he had f*d up the red coloring on the apple tree. That and the folks who cruised around the 1 acre property on the shuttle looking at stuff and never actually got off the shuttle... you know to see the shit in all of the buildings they paid to see! "And here you have a building w/ cool stuff in it... and here is another one, and over there is the train but the shuttle does not drive that way...". Pretty ok day, and thanks to the KB/DG faction for getting me out to check it out.

After that I drank a Manhattan and watched Horrible Bosses which was only ok and a bit of a let down. Indecent Proposal on HBO 8 was much better.

How about a new game where you "Occupy" a J-O-B!!!! And 1 review

2011-10-11T16:53:00.000-04:00

I really hate those dooshes and their Occupy Wall Street bullshit. Do you even know what you are protesting? Now we have Kanye West in the mix. You charge $100 for a crappy 1 hour concert, that is less of a rip off than $7 per E-Trade!?!?! Politicians want to get involved? F*** you! You spend $500 on a f*ing toilet seat!! Most of these choads just don't want to pay off their loans and that sucks. Hey, if you are a struggling family I get it... it is no picnic out there and lots of people are not getting a break. But if you are in your 19th year of school getting your 4th PHD w/ no intention of ever paying those student loans off? Or the couple trying to unload their $800K vacation home, or just some punk stoner who doesn't ever want to work hard? F*** YOU!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VL-0F3IAVfo

OK, so we went out w/ some friends Saturday night. First attempt was Flatbread. 2 hour wait. 2 hours? For pizza? I must have not noticed that they make the pizza out of unicorn breath? Oh, did they start offering free massage w/ every salad? Right... I forgot that you get a free trip to space when you eat there. We ran into the issue Sunday when we stopped in early afternoon for possible lunch. There were several empty tables and no discernible line but the wait was 40 minutes? That is a long time to clean off a table. But not when it is done by hostage Smurfs!!!

Anywho, we did get a reservation w/ LB squared at San Sai. I like the space down there a lot. We rolled in and it was pretty empty. Ok, no problem. There were a few tables around us still covered in dirty dishes and checks that had not been picked up. Uh, oh... better strap in for a long one! And a long one it was. There were 2 servers for maybe 6 tables and it was no where near enough. We had like a 3 hour ordeal (possibly exaggerated)! The company was pleasant and we knocked down a few saki's so it was not a problem but still. They were out of several items as usual even though they were not that busy. That place does a terrible job of stocking the proper amount of fish. We also had to wait a ridiculously long time to get water filled and saki reloaded. The food was not bad. I enjoyed the sushi pizza quite a bit. We got short shifted on the lobster which they ran out of after one app. It was very good though I am not sure cooked lobster in butter and garlic is Japanese? I am not very cultured though so what do I know? The fluke w/ ponzu sauce was pretty good. The spicy scallop was nice. The smoked eel was very good as was the shrimp tempura roll. I like the food but the service, the lack of organization, and the price are off putting. I am giving that place a pretty short shelf life. That said... we had a really fun time. It was topped off w/ rowdy conversation and a beer at the Daily Planet. Then a cab ride home w/ a "rapper" blaring Mariah Carey or some shit? Good times!!!

Ok, now that I have complained about everything else how about myself. My folks were really great and came up this weekend to help us put siding on the house and put the gardens (such as they are) to bed. My dad bangs in a nail in like 3 shots and leaves nary a mark. I hit the f*ing thing 12 times (actually I swing 12 times but only hit it 7) and by the time I am done there are indents all over the wood and I have possibly snapped off the head of the nail. I am a shitty carpenter. Not very handy. Kind of a prince. And very handsome.

OK how about a little fun. Run, run, run, run, you have to run like an antelope... out of control!!!
http://www.brobible.com/videos/watch/mountain-biker-taken-out-an

sorry, had trouble embedding those 2...

Jay About Date Night

2011-10-07T14:31:00.000-04:00

Last night my special lady and I went on a little date night and it was quite nice. We cruised down to Tourterelle in New Haven. We started with a drink at the bar and a little small talk. As w/ most specialty cocktails, these were a little overly sweet w/ too many ingredients but not bad. My lady had a modified martini and I had a "new fashoin". We then sat down at a table by the bar for a nice meal. The lighte were low, the space was comfortable, and the service was attentive. We started with a Napleon au Saumon and Escargots. The escargots were tender, well seasoned and served w/ a delicious savory pancake and nice sausage accompainiment. The salmon was also very good. The corn pancakes were very good, the salmon was nicely smoked and not overly fishy. We then moved on to the entrees. My wife went for a chicken crepe with Manchego cheese tomato and basil. It was excellent. I had pork tenderloin with poached figs and very crispy buttermilk onion rings. We finished at home w/ take out apple brandy tirimasu and a glass of courvousier. It was all very delicious. They do an excellent job at the T. if you ever find yourself in the area or are looking for a little something special and off the run.

Steve Jobs... very sad. The guy was an inovator who definitely changed the game. I think we will miss him and his wonderful ideas.

Seriously, we may be about to choose between a guy we knoe is killing the economy, Weekend at Romneys (cause he might actually be dead), and a dude that does not believe in dinosaurs for president. Is Dave Chapelle not available?!

Hey, how about those Wall Street protestors? Good for you assholes. You are wasting tons of resources and what are you angry about? Some vague idea you have from Time magazine about how some folks are spending your money? How about you don't get a 10-1 arm loan to buy a house you knew you couldn't afford? That might be ok too. Nice elbow patches on your tweed coat... dick.

Go Yankees... awwww too soon?! HAHAHAHA! Join the pity party!

I have one word for you Mars!!!!

Congrats

2011-10-04T17:00:00.000-04:00

To my friend T-Pain and his new bride B-Pain! A crew of us headed to the Edson Hill Manor for the wedding and I for one and a darned fun time. Tried not to be #1 guest, and I think I largely succeeded. Food was good and despite the rain the setting was also very nice. I think the company men really carried on like some good old fashioned muckety mucks!!! Good to see and hang w/ some of the guys I don't see on a daily basis as well. Always fun. We also rolled in a Middlebury Transit "luxury van" which was nice as I was not really in a good spot to drive a car. It was a f*ing long trip but they were professional and put up w/ a tone of nonsense. As did my wife who slept while I tried to see how close I could get my finger to her face w/out touching it (1/4" if you were wondering).

Second quick thing... we were able to play at the Country Club of Vermont in Waterbury yesterday which was fun. It is a private club but we got an in. It was a little rainy and very wet but the course is beautiful. They really keep it in great shape. Lots of traps, trees, and a long ass course. I lost several balls. It was tough. One thing that was odd though, I got there at 7:45AM and the clubhouse was locked w/ a cleaning lady inside vacuuming. Don't old people members like to play early before work? Shouldn't it at least be open if the first tee time is at 8am, you know... in case you want to change, get a coffee, take a f*ing shit?! Weird. We only saw 2 other people on the course all day, even when the sun came out. After the round we rolled in for lunch and found one guy watching TV in the clubhouse. He worked there. After getting our lunch in order he struggled mightily to figure out the touch screen computer. My 4 year old nephew could have worked the damned thing. He also struggled to figure out our drink order and execute on it? By the time we left the was the one guy watching TV and another one vacuuming the piano in the corner. This is a private course that costs thousands of dollars to be a member and hundreds to play a single round. WTF?!?! It was fun anyway.

I Knew It!!!

2011-09-28T16:26:00.000-04:00

Amazon is sick of Apple kicking their ass so they finally gave in and hired the criminal mastermind Lex Luthor to sell the new Kindle Fire!!!

"We are excited to bring you the new Kindle Fire, it is smaller than the IPad and you can get Apps, browse the web, read books, and defeat Superman... uh, er, I mean stream over 17million songs! It is wifi ready, is able to save content to the cloud, and is run by a small amount of kryptonite, I mean a 200MB chip. We are expecting big things from the Fire and the whole Legion of Doom, um, I mean Amazon, is very excited to usher in a new day of global domination!!! Shit... am I fired? F*ck you Superman, and f*ck you Steve Jobs!!!

It's BBQ Time!!!

2011-09-26T17:24:00.000-04:00

So on Friday I had the pleasure of joining friends for a bit of a new and exciting BBQ delivery experience. These local folks have a website where you can order food on Wed. and have it delivered on Fri. These homegrown do it out of the garage experiments are fun and often quite delicious so I was pretty psyched to check this one out. http://miserylovescopresents.blogspot.com/p/event-brite.html This Barbecue did not disappoint. We took a run at the whole menue. The chicken was well cooked, tender but cooked through w/ nice smokey flavor. The ribs tasted ok but were a bit overcooked and dry. The Brisket was great. Tender, fatty, and great flavor. The sauce was tangy and sweet and a nice oaccompaniment. The coleslaw and potato salad were good. I did not try the beans but heard they were very good. The apple pie was also surprisingly good. It looked like a store pie but the filing was solid and the crust was soft, a little flaky and covered w/ delicious sugar. I thought the whole thing was really quite good and I would check it out again. 1 3/4 thumbs up.

Another quick aside, I had the opportunity to watch Machete this weekend and it was GREAT! Blood, guts, jokes, boobs... Steven Seagal! It was a really solid 2 hours and well worth the look if you like fake schlocky shit. It was also better than watching the Red Sox or Patriots this weekend... ugh.

Jay About to Recover

2011-09-20T16:15:00.000-04:00

This weekend we rolled down to Foxwoods for my buddy T-Pain's bachelor party and it was really something. I won't get into all of the gory details but let's just say I fell asleep in my clothes (better than naked) and possibly barfed upon seeing a bloody mary first thing Saturday morning. The casino itself was fine. I am not a big gambler but it is fun to sit and play a few hands of blackjack w/ friends. It was not super busy and certainly was not as "glamorous" as Vegas but we had a fun time. I would like to thank Marlene for all of the awesome cards she dealt herself. I didn't need that $200, you have it! It is weird to be indoors where you can smoke. Thanks Mashantucket Pequots! Did you know Foxwoods was actually the brainchild of a Malaysian guy rather than a Native American? Well, not you do. Lim Goh Tong. Care for a fire water or diseased blanket joke here? Me neither.

We stayed at the newer MGM Grand hotel. The rooms were decent size, comfortable, clean... and most importantly noise and idiot tolerant. Dinner was at the Pan-Asian joint Shrine. I was expecting overpriced buffet food but it was actually pretty good. They need a larger sake menu. I bad a pretty solid cucumber avocado and Toro sashimi and then flattened chicken in hoisin sauce on an onion pancake. It was all pretty good. The fish "tartar" dish was also very good, pretty fresh w/ some crunchy chips on top. It was expensive, probably more than it needed to be but was not egregious as casinos go.

After that we played cards and had a "couple" drinks.

The next morning we drove up to Mass. and played golf at the Pleasant Valley Country Club. Membership was slightly younger than dead but T-Pain's brother did us a solid and got us all set up to play there at a more than reasonable price. The building looked like a high school and definitely needed a revamp but we had a nice and very cute bartender and were on our way! The course itself was beautiful. It was long and and tree lined. While it was not overly difficult and pretty hard to lose balls, the length and the numerous sand traps together with very fast greens made it a challenge. How did you like that last sentence alluding to balls and length? Boo-Ya! Anyway, after a few holes I shook off the hangover that was crushing me and it was fun. On the first tee I whiffed and then sent a tee shot 10 feet on the ground. It was not my best start. The course had great flora and was well maintained w/ nice fairways and greens. It was a best ball scramble but I am pretty sure I would have shot a 70!

After that it was in the car and home w/ a quick stop and McDonald's. That tasted good going down but hurt pretty bad later. I paid for my sins Sunday when I re wallpapered the downstairs bathroom. Overall a fun time and one which I am glad I will never have to repeat for my liver's sake!

Jay About to Turn the Mike Over

2011-09-15T14:36:00.004-04:00

So last night Phish played a benefit in Essex, VT for the Hurricane Irene flood victims. I went w/ my special lady and our pals the LB^2. Now I could have written a review but I have a buddy who is a much more thoughtful fan and as you are about to see... this is much better. Harry Hoodwink, take it away!

"Soundchecks provide a rare glimpse into the mood of the group and shed some light on the interactions between the band members. When playing outside and the soundcheck emanates throughout the valley, there are often chances for the crowd to hear glimpses of the upcoming show, or oddball rarities. On Wednesday, updates began popping up online, noting that Phish checked Peaches in Regalia, a Zappa cover that popularly frequented late 80s setlists. And then, surprisingly, the whole soundcheck, Peaches included, was recorded by the band and released prior to the show, sending a buzz around the online community. Here’s a link to the soundcheck download if you’d like to listen yourself. http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ABJXZXAF The intro jam is particularly compelling starting at 3:30. At 6 PM, on Phantasy Tour message board, Matzo notes “Right after the first jam you can hear Trey and Mike talking about how great a groove that was. Mike says that should be the whole next phish album. Trey tells mike to have "john" e-mail it to him. Mike says he sends out for recordings of every soundcheck. Awesome.”

This soundcheck also gives fans a view into the lighter side of the band. After Ginseng, left in a void, Page starts monkeying around with his theremin. As the eerily wavering electronic instrument (best known for its role in the Star Trek theme) dominates the PA, Trey leans into his mic and begs, ”Page, stop it, Page, I think the time has come for the vacuum theremin to end,” referring to the Fishman’s penchant for playing vintage Electrolux vacuum cleaners, then continues, ”They sound exactly the same.” Page responds, ”that’s a good idea….” And cuts out the exploration, but then Trey follows on and offers Page, ”Silent Night. Play silent Night” and so Page obliges with eerily oscillating theremin wavering out the Christmas classic. This leads to an impromptu made up on the spot “Too Much Fried Dough at the Fair”, and eventually, a tightly checked “Peaches en Regalia” instrumental to warm up the fingers.

Ticket time for the show was 7, with a hard cap at 11 PM due to noise ordinances. Right around 7:30, Governor Shumlin sauntered up to center stage to shake hands, kiss some babies, and give us all an update on VT flood relief, and to get things rolling. As the lots cleared and the crowd filtered in there, were pinch points where crowd control barriers pinched the crowd in certain places restricting flow and creating high traffic avenues, but eventually worked itself out around the outer edges of the stage, providing plenty of General Admission room on the field or in the Grandstands depending on where you wanted to anchor down.

The end of the summer tour came last week in Colorado where Phish played an entire show sponsored by the letter “S”, with every song following suit (Sample, Sparkle, Sloth, Sweet Virginia…) Then later during that run, Fishman wore his standard moo moo with “Xs” dotted everywhere instead of his normal “O”s. Following the show, many fans speculated that the band maneuvers were a veiled attempt to allude to a benefit show to be played at “SX”…or Essex Junction, Vermont. Soon after the Denver run closed, the benefit was announced. On this Wednesday evening show in Vermont, Fishman set up shop behind his drum kit sporting a newly crafted moo moo special for the occasion, instead of the O circles normally dotted evenly around the garment, this one featured hurricanes with a shout out to Irene.
The first set was an approachable rock ‘n roll jaunt with a fan-appreciated NICU and a solid Wolfman’s Brother > Julius set closer. Phish.net writes “Of course, leave it to Phish to stick the landing, as they did with a really nice "Wolfman's" > "Julius" combo. A few minutes into the "Wolfman's" jam, Trey made the first hard left turn of the night, modulating into a very unexpected harmonic space. The "Julius", though, provided the arguable highlight of the entire evening and will gain a reputation as one of the best if not the best "Julius" of 3.0.”
The second set blazed open with Carini > Down with Disease > Slave sequence that the band is wont to do right out of the gates after setbreak. This three song sequence was probably the highlight of the show in terms of energy and exploration. Pete Carini, drum tech for the band, was in attendance for his first show since before the first hiatus. Before the band kicked off the second set, Trey noted that the Pete and Tara Carini were the only local friends they hadn’t had a chance to catch up with since being back in Vermont, and then dedicated the song with their namesake to them to kick off the second set.

Following a high energy, if not truncated, Carini > DWD, Slave to the Traffic Light takes off at 1:30 during this video, screaming into overture, with Trey taking the lead at 1:55, white lights blaring out over the crowd on the field and into the grandstands beyond. Then without hesitation, at 3:00 the band takes right off into the Velvet Underground’s Rock & Roll. http://www.youtube.com/embed/0_nqCDnOkCA

Theme from the Bottom was another favorite to see outdoors under the stars. As always, Chris Kuroda was solid on lights, pulling out some great organic textures, developing color palettes that convey desired moods during jams, and executing on timing changes that always enhance the showgoing experience. http://www.youtube.com/embed/PvcV3uz2bDg

Note at 1:04, 1:08 & 1:14 in this video when Page pings his upper keys for punctuation how Chris has flashes of light synced with his piano to punctuate the effect. The jam begins building at 3:15, with Page laying down a base of grand piano major chords for Trey to dart in and out of before he hits that overture at 3:55 and screams out through his guitar, washing out over the crowd. The whole band drives forward for the next two minutes with Trey taking the lead until he ducks out at 5:30 and makes room for Page to build into starting at 5:40, Vocal rolling jam at 6:05 “From the Bottom, from the Top”, and the underwater coral lighting Theme from the Bottom to match:

Character Zero is an all-in rocker that never fails to get the crowd chanting along and fist pumping, starting here at 0:25. Everyone get those fists ready to go again at 1:25. http://www.youtube.com/embed/jYBK1GRX9DE

All in all, a great way to spend a Wednesday night, and enjoyable Phish show if your expectations weren’t set too high. Of course, there are those that expected to be led into the Promised Land, or Gamehenge, whichever the case may be. Greenwigmonster at 10:45 PM offers,”I F#CKING HATE CHARITY”, while SatchTheDog agrees “2011'd” and ForgetPhull writes “3.0’d” suggesting that the band in its most recent incarnation doesn’t have the same energy, exploration & jamming as highlight years such as 1993 & 1995. Well, of course they don’t, that was close to 20 years ago. “Harry Doyle” takes it a step further, “Not only do Vermonters have sewage in their basements, now they have piss in their ears,” referring to a scene in the Phish documentary “Bittersweet Motel” where the Director Todd Phillips forces Trey to read bad reviews of the band on camera to catch a glimpse of his emotional reaction to the critiques. It gives you a (sometimes painful) glimpse of the pressure and expectations forced upon a band, and in particular, the lead singer/songwriter/axe-man.

Meanwhile, people are filtering out of the venue, and CheeseSteaks, in a thread labeled “Handy Suites” asks “Okay, so what's the post-show looking like back at the motel? Tim and Eric? Fresh fruit? Light stretching?”

In the end B-B sums it up right: “Organic lights, funky and deconstructed beats, cavern, Julius, rock n roll, and lovin cup. #phish, you've done vermont well.” All in all, a great community feel for a fun school night out, so much fun to see so many Vermonters out to see the band in their home state, and it was all for a great cause. "

***So there you have it!!!

Really... the summer is over?

2011-09-12T14:32:00.000-04:00

It was nice this weekend the the evenings are getting quite brisk. Couple quick things, my special lady and I went to a food fair at the Shelburne Orchard and it was pretty fun. The food was ok, there was a pretty good corn and cheddar salad from Shelburne Farms, some not very good wine from Lincoln Peak, and really good whoopie pies from a local baker I always forget. We also had a nice time wandering around picking a few apples in the sunshine.

On the flip side of the coin was a Saturday lunch trip to Il Gatto. We rolled in around 2pm or so and the whole place had maybe 6 full tables for 3 servers. We waited for awhile before getting some chips. Our drink order was not taken. After another very long wait while our server wandered around like a moron and chatted up a table outside we finally placed the drink and food order. After another 15 minutes we got our drinks. I had no idea they picked their own limes in Mexico, and shipped them to order? After another 30 minutes or so a waitress who was not ours asked how it was going and if we needed more chips. I responded it was going "slow" and my wife pointed out that 2 tables who had come in well after us had already been served while we were still waiting for our nachos and 2 tacos. Not exactly a 7 course meal. By the way... for lunch you can order all of the components of a taco platter but not the platter itself. Sure, why not waste plates? Our waitress also neglected to tell us what the specials were. She seemed very confused by the new fangled "computer" she was constantly working on. Come to find out the "computer" had failed to print our order in the kitchen so it never got in. Our waitress was too busy w/ the other table she was serving so she never noticed. Offering to put a "rush" on it we declined w/ extreme disgust. To their credit they compted our drinks but this was a very disappointing trip to a place already on watch negative. Pull your shit together Il Gatto.

Well shit...

2011-09-09T16:32:00.001-04:00

I am listening to that Jay-Z/Kanye song Otis and the first time I hated it. The second time, hated it. The third time still didn't like it but it was catching like crabs (or so I am told). Now I can't help but listen to it when it comes on the radio. Damn!

Speaking of love/hate... Obama presented his jobs speech last night and he is a dynamic speaker and certainly looks the part of a leader. The problem is that he starts off ok and then says stupid shit. He played too much to unions and the tax the rich crowd. Neither side of the aisle seem to be able to open their mouths w/out creating class warfare and in the process they create deeper divisions. If you told me you were going to look for ways to create jobs and in the process those employed may need to sacrifice to create security for the future I would find that much more palatable than... we will pay for this plan by increasing taxes on the rich because they can afford it. Many people that are "rich" have money because they worked hard to make it. And they may not have several million like Obama or billion like Buffet. So they will be reluctant to give up those hard earned gains, especially for the guy on the street addicted to heroin begging for cigarettes who will need to be supported due to bad choices not bad luck. So change the tone. We all want to help the folks who have had bad luck or are busting their asses but got screwed by the asshole risk junkies of the world, and hope we get help when we need it too. Take out the attack and bring people together and you would make it harder for the Boehner's to come out and immediately dismiss your plan. Which they did. Now, we have next to nothing. Except a stock market down 4% today. Shit. At least we have Europe to... Awwww, too soon?

BTW, that Green Bay/ Saints game last night was a pretty good start to the season. Lots of speed, talent, offense, excitement. I enjoyed it. I was not a buyer of Green Bay and the hype but they looked pretty darn good last night. New Orleans did too. So many weapons how do you cover them all. These guys dropped 8 in coverage and it still seemed like 4 guys were always open. So much speed. Like a party at Lou Reed's house in the 70s. Well, except minus the eye shadow, transvestites, abrasive music, and shiny silver balloons on the ceiling? Nice work by Kid Rock in the pre-game. Drop the huge American flag and you can be singing anything.

Jay About Maine

2011-09-07T16:14:00.000-04:00

Last week my special lady and I went on our annual trip to the family camp in Belfast Maine. It almost seemed like it was not going to happen when a f*ing hurricane blew through VT and left half the state under water. It really was a tragedy and affected many lives. We were lucky, it blew and rained but we did not even lose power. Odd. In any event, we were able to get on the road Monday and after the storm it was sunny and very pleasant. We dropped our asshole cat w/ my folks and made our way north. It is a long drive to Belfast so we decided to take a break in Portland for the evening. It was really fun. We stayed at the Davenport which is a very nice place in Old Port. The rooms are spacious and clean. They have beautiful views and several sitting areas as well as a nice billiard room in the basement. The only criticism I have is that the breakfast was not very good. There was a blueberry crumble that was good but it was put on top of banilla yogurt which was gross. There was nice fruit and the potatoes were good but the Mexican fritata was way too big a portion and did not taste that great, not enough salsa, a little burned, and too heavy on the cheese to egg ratio. Otherwise it was a very nice place to stay. Monday night we went out in Old Port and did it up. We had dinner in the bar at Fore Street and it was very good. The space is dark and very cool. We sat on a couch and had delicious oysters, very fresh lump crab, and a also fresh seasonal salad. Add to that some very well made cocktails and some nice white wine and we were in business (and nearly broke!). It was expensive but the food, service, and setting were all top notch... 1 7/8th thumbs up. We then wandered up Congress Street and closed down Bistro Jaqueline w/ a nice glass of champagne and then some other bar w/ a load of delicious local brews. We then proceeded to get lost and walk off our dinner in a quite unintentional way around Portland. It was a very nice evening however.

Belfast itself was same old. @ Tides was typically good. Dockside was a little disappointing, Young's Lobster Pound... delicious and fun.

Thurs. night we rolled down to Rockland and went to highly regarded Primo. They are known for using local ingredients and embracing the farm to table ethos. The place was a little off the run but the space was nice. We went upstairs to the bar and waited for our table. The cocktail list was extensive and pretty decent. Then on to dinner. The amuse bouche chicken pate was very good. Then things went a little down hill. We started w/ fried green tomatoes and oysters 2 ways. The tomato had a bad consistency and the fry was like burnt cheese, not burnt cheese in a good way either. The oysters were ok but nothing special, breaded and cooked. The wine was over priced and ok, not great. The main courses were also uninspiring. My snapper was pretty good and the lobster/potato mash was very good. My wife's pasta was way over slated. It was better the next day as a leftover. The service was quite good. The biggest problem was the prices. For $15 an overly salted pasta dish tastes a whole lot different than a $32 one. Even in New York they don't generally rip your face off that bad. We thought the whole meal was just ok but priced for exceptional plus. 1 thumb on the atm taking out more cash.

One last non-Maine related note. Saddie Katz closed its doors last week after an all to brief stay in Burlington. They made delicious sandwiches. Biscuit and I ate one last meal before they closed and as always it was great. I had a delicious greasy but not too greasy Reuben and the potato salad was solid. 2 thumbs up and hope to see you back in the mix some day...

Congrats!

2011-08-23T17:02:00.000-04:00

To LB Squared on their nuptials! It was a very fun wedding. The was a nice mix of people who were ready to get their groove on and I thought the LBs did a very nice job sorting it all out. The Round Barn did an excellent job with food and decor. There was dancing, drinking (too late), and parties galore. Good crowd, good music (especially during the ceremony and reception), good fun. If you are looking for a fun cheap place to bring a crowd and stay for a night or two check out the Slidebrook Inn in Waitsfield. It is no frills but was a good crash pad for us. As far as the wedding, 2 resounding thumbs up!!

On the flip side, yesterday the special lady and I watched the Denzel train thriller Unstoppable. This could have also been called "Unwatchable" or "Denzel on a Train Without Travolta", or "2 Hours Until the Hostage Taker Gives You Back Your Life"! What a piece of shit. The tension is never really built. Denzel is fat. There is no chemistry between characters. Trains lost their action appeal in 1942... seriously, who the f*ck still rides on a train?! Why is Rosario Dawson in this movie? I have a hard time believing there are many super hot exotic looking train managers or whatever her job was. It is like imagining Jessica Alba in an action flick where she sells magazines at a kiosk in the Burlington Airport and has to stop a madman from stealing all of the month old In Style magazines. Gripping no? And who decides to put fuel tanks next to a hairpin railroad track curve? Why would you put them there for heck's sake? There are 1 billion better places to put them in any town or city?! Was it too expensive to put the nuclear reactor there?!?!?! 1 thumb down.

Das Poop!!!!

2011-08-19T16:11:00.000-04:00

Haha, couldn't help myself. Even my special lady commented that JAT had gotten a little poo-centric of late. This is not one of those posts. Seriously. So I was working from home yesterday to test some systems and it sucked. I figured I would wake up late, watch Sportcenter, eat some breakfast, Price is Right, lunch, and then mess around in the afternoon. Instead I was up at a normal hour and working through connectivity issues and some other work stuff for the morning. I did not even catch the showcase showdown! After a pleasant lunch I was back trying to watch 9 different data sources on one 12" laptop. F*ing brutal. Meanwhile the market was melting down, I was inside while the sunshine was blazing outside, and my f*ing cat was just sitting outside the door to my office howling like I was beating him (I wasn't). It was really quite unpleasant. Hope returned when I headed back to Burlington and met some pals for beers and dinner. It was $1 PBR night at Akes Thursday night. That was pretty darn awesome and cheap! We then rolled over to Das Bierehause for some big beers and chow. I had a Jager Sandwich which was not at all what I was expecting. It was pretty good though. Or at least the PBRs told me so. It was a flattened piece of mystery meat/schnitzel I think on toast w/ fried onions, cheese and some weird brown gravy. Hey, it was good. The spicy fries were also really solid. Mac and cheese was ok. The one thing I was a little unsure of were the dumplings. It is like a bready no meat meatball. It tasted ok but the consistency was not super pleasant. All in it was a good drinkin' meal. And the waitress was pretty good looking in her dirndl and really was very nice to put up w/ our shit. Usually an aggressively loud and overly detailed conversation about manscaping will get you shooshed but our server rolled w/ it and just gave us a mildly disapproving head shake. Alright!

Quick side note... we had lunch at Il Gatto and for a second time it was pretty darn good. I had the carnitas taco and a mole pollo taco. Both were good. The guacamole was under seasoned and not very fresh but the salsa again was quite good. So far, so good.

Jay About Some Random Spots

2011-08-16T16:49:00.000-04:00

My special lady and I packed up the car and ventured down to the Berkshires for a wedding this past weekend. The wedding was very pleasant but that is not what I am going to talk about. Instead we will delve into 2 somewhat off the run food options we explored while travelling to and fro. Stop number one was an Indian joint called the Aroma Bar and Grill Friday night. We met up w/ the in-laws at this spot in Great Barrington and dug in. Right away we were given a thin hard bread that was spicy as all get out. Uh oh. Then we dove into the food. There was a saag paneer that was a little greasy but very good, a veggie biryani w/ yogurt sauce that was money, lamb and fried veggie ball dishes in a spicy tomato sauce that were good and a fantastic almond naan. It was funny, when the waiter asked us how spicy we wanted the food he looked us up and down with a suspicious glare and suggested medium heat. We could have used maybe a little more but not much. The spices were very nice and the flavors were full and textured. The place looked like a diner but the service was adequate and the food was really quite good. My one reservation is that everyone had some pretty serious stomach distress the following day. As in, oh man, if I venture too far from home in the morning I might shit myself. So if you find yourself in the area and are looking for Indian food I would say give this place a try... but plan accordingly.

Sunday we drove back up Route 22 and before getting to Vergennes we were passing a little BBQ joint that I have wanted to go to for awhile, so with my wife's blessing I ripped into the parking lot to give it a try. It is essentially a small stand w/ a large smoking oven in front of some guy's house. They had 3 picnic tables, and there were 2 younger guys in board shorts and tank tops listening to Cypress Hill and making BBQ meat. They looked baked but there was a decent crowd gathered to chow down so f*** it! We ordered a pulled pork sandwich and some cole slaw. The napkins at the stand were wet from an earlier rain. Not ideal. After a little wait we got our food and settled in. The cole slaw was only ok. It was a heavily peppered vinegar sauce, not great. The pulled pork on the other hand was great. It was cooked nicely, was tender, and had great spicy flavor. The sauce was also great. If you are on Rt.22 pull over to Willie D's Black Box BBQ and enjoy!!!

Oh yeah, thanks for this gem NS, and sleep w/ one eye open!!!

http://youtu.be/MrEPt79QQQI

It Burns!!!

2011-08-12T16:27:00.000-04:00

Nope, not what you weirdos were thinking at all, and frankly, I am just a tad ashamed of you... perverts! Anyway, we had a lat round of golf last night playing the last hole in the dark. I am going to say that is why I shot a 22 on that hole. Afterwards T-Pain and I rolled over to Archie's Grill for a beer and a little take out. Maybe we were a little intoxicated from the smell of the grilled beef or the beers we drank on the course but the two of us both went big and ordered the blue cheese stuffed onion ring burger. Yup, you heard that shit right! It is an onion ring stuffed w/ blue cheese on a burger w/ a buttered bun and more blue cheese. It is f*d up!! First off, the burger was delicious. Really solid. At 4am though Archie enacted his revenge. I woke up with a burning sensation rising up from my stomach to my throat mouth and really into my finger tips. The heartburn was ridiculous. I thought I was going to puke. I dropped a couple Rolaids extra strength tablets and tossed and turned for awhile before falling back asleep. Had Archie done his worst? Hardly. On my way into work (a 20minute drive or so) I felt an unmistakable gurgling. Uh oh... I peeled into the Dunkins and took care of business. It burned. There was a funny sign in the bathroom stating how Dunkin employees took pride in the cleanliness of the bathroom (it was clean). I was putting this to the test. It was a message... "Jay's stomach lining sleeps with the fishes."... compliments of Archie!!! Once I made it to work there were one or two more episodes. Even now hours later I feel like I am on pretty shaky ground. Archie had exacted a steep price for his deliciousness. I am a 35 year old man who has had a sensitive constitution for years. You would think I would have learned by now but nope... if I see a pulled pork situation or onion rings, or jalapenos... I am waving them in! What an ass.

Satisfied w/ the poop content of this blog yet? Go ahead and "like" me on Facebook. Haha, I am not on Facebook NERDS!!!!!

Jay About Il Gatto

2011-08-10T16:45:00.000-04:00

Yes, it is the triumphant return of Jay as a restaurant reviewer! Been awhile since anything has opened here in town but finally we are back in the mix and in the hunt for Mexican. I admit that I had very mixed feelings about "the cat". They had several false starts before opening and I find that to be a universal bad sign. On the flip side, a couple co-workers had gotten lunch there in the first week and they liked it. So my special lady and I bucked up and gave it a run. This is week numero duo and it was pretty busy. The bar was packed and most of the seats were full w/ a young a pretty lively crowd. The space itself was repainted but not much different structurally from its predecessor Vietnam Restaurant II which is fine. We got water and chips and salsa pretty quickly. A good sign as most just opened spots suffer from terrible service. The chips were a little stale but pretty good and the salsa was fresh tasting and had nice heat. After perusing the drink menu we asked what kind of tequila they used for the infused tequila which was the base for their house margaritas. Our server did not know which means "well" so we opted for the hornitas gold w/ fresh lime juice and Cointreau. Fantastic. Really solid marg. Ok, we were getting someplace. The vibe was pretty happening, and so far the fare was respectable. It took awhile to order food and a long time to get the food but several other servers stopped by occasionally to check in on our chips and salsa situation. For dinner my special lady got a combo platter w/ a pork taco and a chili releno. I did not get a bite of the taco (booo) but the chili was delicious. I went for the pollo mole. It was decent. A thigh and a slightly overcooked breast (haha). The mole was good not great. The rice was good, the tortillas were ok, and the beans were pretty good but could have used a little more flavor. Overall the food was pretty good. 1000x better than any other Mexican joint in Burlington and not a bad first experience. The bill was also very reasonable. I would give it a thumb and a half up w/ a hopefully bright future as part of the rotation!

BTW... how do you likes stocks down 620, up 420, and down 520 post debt deal/S&P downgrade. No volatility there. My ulcer has moved on from my stomach and is now eating my kidneys. Shit.

Jay About a Market Meltdown...

2011-08-04T16:43:00.000-04:00

Boy, it is ugly out there in the financial markets. Dow down 500+points, S&P down 60 points, 10yr tsys up almost $2. 3 month T-Bills were yielding 0 today, 0! You don't get paid anything!!! Yikes. Lots of "oh man, I just shit myself" faces across media outlets. Not to mention we are looking at a potentially very poor jobs number tomorrow. It just does not feel good out there. F***. Speaking of ugly, my golf game melted down yesterday like, well, like the economy! I shot a 50 on the front, and a 65 on the back. Some of those holes I had to just walk away. It was like the tennis scene in The Royal Tenenbaums, at one point I was sitting on a hill starring at the green with no club and missing one shoe. Not a great back nine. On the flip side, it was a better day than A-rod is having... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bESGLojNYSo&ob=av3n

Speaking of a bad back night... We ate at the Bearded Frog last night and it did not go well. Service was ok. The food was not great. I got sick in the night as well. The golf beers may have also had something to do with that. Not sure. Let's blame it on the food.

We tried the new Hill Farmstead Clara beer the other day. It is described as a hoppy Saison. I thought it was pretty solid, a good summertime sipper. It was light, refreshing, nice flavor. Not syrupy or heavy handed and winey as some saisons can be. I liked it.

I found a fly in my chicken parm sandwich from Junior's today. Fortunately I found it before I ate it. Kind of gross. Not pube in your sandwich or band-aid in your sandwich gross but not exactly the kind of extra I was looking for today. A stray piece of peperoni or green pepper would have been better. A fingernail would have been worse.

Well, if you will excuse me, I am going to check my underwear... at some point during the meltdown today I may or may not have shit myself.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/03/golf-cart-fail-compilation-video_n_917509.html

How about that debt ceiling huh?!

2011-08-01T17:14:00.000-04:00

OK, first thing is first... we had a lovely weekend at the in-laws that included boats and golf and Bit-O-Honeys. We got to meet our new nephew RBS who was very cute. We even had a very nice supper club meal w/ an off the look fried tomato lobster dish (even though my wife tried to start a fight beforehand).

However, there was a weight that has hung over the whole weekend, the whole summer really. The f*ing government and this damned debt ceiling thing. Ever since Billy Clinton spooged on that intern and lost hid grip on shit the government has spiralled out of control. We got a Republican controlled WH and Congress in the mix and what did they do? They spent more money than a New Jersey woman in Stowe w/ a credit card (on fudge)! Isn't the whole point of being conservative to be... conservative?! Then we get Obama who is a stone killer, of both Usama and the economy!!! Worst of all is that between the Tea Party and A-holes like Bernie Sanders on the left, the world of politics has become nothing more than a vitriolic pit of backstabbing and insults. Every time one of these pieces of shit gets in front of the press they have nothing progressive to say. Instead they spend their soundbites putting down the opposite party in order to further their aspirations for the next election. Nothing gets done inter-election, it is all a big show for the next guaranteed paycheck in 4 years!!! The fact is we need increased taxes AND decreased spending specifically in the land of entitlements. We have pledged money we do not have and are unwilling to make difficult choices. Yeah, paying more taxes sucks. But if we all have to pay a little more it will be more palatable. The real issue is employment. How much tax do you pay if you are out of work? Not much right? For the moment I have a job and would be willing to pay a little more if it gets our balance sheet more healthy and we can build confidence in order to take a chance at creating more jobs. There is cash out there but companies do not want to spend it until there is more order in the world. All of the inter-party sniping has created chaos which keeps spenders on the sidelines. I might get hunted by secret service for insulting the prez but...
F*ck you Boehner! F*ck you Reid! F*ck you Pawlenty! F*ck you Bernie! F*ck you Bachman! F*ck you Pelosi! F*ck you Cantor! F*ck you Biden! And F*ck you to the rest of you assholes!!! We are tired of you and your jerky attitudes. Get together and fix problems and you will win your elections and gain our respect. Act like pretty children and you will gain our scorn. Jay, what are you going to do about it? I am going to vote for myself. I am the only asshole I trust!

While I am handing out F-U's... John Heyman over at CnnSI. F*ck you. I cannot believe such a Yankee homer gets a major column in a major publication. You really thought the Sox were bigger losers than your precious Yankees? Hey, guess what, your pitching staff sucks and Bedard is better as our number 5 starter than your number 2 Burnett or Bartolo the Hut. But, you liked the Brewrs getting K-Rod who they did not really need, will hurt their chemistry, and has not been that good in a couple of years? Sure... why not just run w/ your first draft where the Yanks where the big winner for getting that fifth starter... oh no they didn't do that. Oh yeah, for getting that big bat.... That didn't happen either? They must have gotten younger? No? Fortified the bullpen? No? Oh right, they got a 5yrs over the hill Eric Chavez back from the DL!!! Bravo!!!!

Jay About Saratoga!

2011-07-25T16:53:00.000-04:00

This past weekend a few of my headbanging friends and I took a trip down to Saratoga and attended the Poison/Motley Crue concert at SPAC. I have very fond memories of both bands from junior high and high school and enjoy them still, what can I say? I enjoy crappy 80's hair metal. Sue me. When I was a kid I got my first boom box as a Christmas gift. I also scored Crue's album Girls, Girls, Girls which I obviously tossed into the tape player for a spin. Needless to say my mother shut me down 1.2 minutes into the first song. For whatever reason she did not thing it really expressed the sentiment of the season? I was not in total agreement... a perfect Christmas for me at that time certainly would have consisted of copious amounts of scantily clad girls. And maybe one beer if I could get my hands on it, although I was not exactly sure what the allure would have been... I just knew it was the gateway to more girls in bikinis, w/ fake boobs. Hey, I was 11. Around the same time we rocked out to Poison's anthem "I Want Action" at a 7th grade airband competition earning a few awards along the way. We had jumps, fake guitars and background fake singers. It was something. I am not sure how that song got the green light from the faculty though? We were in 7th grade miming about getting some action?! Anywho, it was pretty special.

Fast forward to my 30s and we were finally going to see them live! Of course these days rocking out meant scoring a pretty expensive hotel populated by old people on the historic grounds of the Saratoga Performing Arts Center, a meal at a real restaurant, and golf before hand. "Action" now consists of my wife and I making a sex date (just kidding), and Banana Republic shorts and flip flops. But still!!! We drank some light beers and rocked out. The venue is great and the concert was solid. We missed the New York Dolls but that was no real loss. Poison was good. They sounded great and put on a solid show of hits, hits, and more hits culminating in the classic "Every Rose Has It's Thorn". Of course Brett Michaels now has a wig, dances funny, and used the word "awesome" a record breaking 18273 times in 75 minutes but shit... he is 65 and probably has syphilis! We also enjoyed the C.C. Deville weird crazy guy face and the fact Riki Rachman is starting to look like Boy George. Still, a great set.

Next up was Motley Crue. Again, a great set of hits. They sounded great, had a great set, and 2 hot strippers running around the stage... really took me back! Vince Neal started great hitting all the high notes. By the end he was short and ruined the last 3 songs but whatever. Mick Mars for being almost dead was amazing and Tommy Lee did great Tommy Lee things. "Shout at the Devil" really got the crowd going and was my favorite. The Tommy drum solo on the roller coaster was also pretty intense.

I'll tell you, these old guys are professionals. They have a tight set, know the game and bring it. I would see it again. Of course I am still unable to hear out of my right ear but f** it... I don't care what most people have to say anyway?

Lots to Talk About

2011-07-22T13:15:00.000-04:00

For one, it is hot as a motherf**r up here... and I am in VT!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XE2fnYpwrng
As usual when it is really hot the air conditioner in the building is broken... and so is one of the elevators. We are one homeless poop in the elevator from hitting for the Marley Properties cycle! Ok, before I get into the good stuff I am going to tell you about something that is really grinding my gears. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VL-0F3IAVfo
Contractors. Apparently, contractors are under the impression that they should overcharge and not actually do any work. My cleaning person charges $75 to barely clean. She cleans around things on the counter rather than pick them up. A few months ago our fridge shit the bed so we called a repairman. He came a fixed it. The defect popped up again a couple months later. He came back and "fixed" it again, except this time it broke again within a week. We called and left messages but he never called back so we had to buy a new fridge after a couple weeks. Then he called and wondered why we had not paid him. Yeah, why don't I send you a check to cover the work you did NOT do. Seems pretty fair. Jay Richard Appliances in case you were wondering. I am not upset he could not fix the fridge, maybe it was unfixable. But you can't expect full payment when you do not complete a job. My company does not pay me to come in and not manage my clients portfolios. Hey, bossman, I know I have not actually filled my fiduciary duty but I was physically here for several hours, how about a fat paycheck!!! My final grumble is w/ Panoramic Landscaping who provided an estimate to fix our messed up driveway. They then billed us at a premium of more than 35%. That is a pretty big miss. Might have mentioned that during the process no? Not to mention the first time it rained post fix the gravel began to groove and wash into the yard... and water pooled in the same spots it did pre fix. I have sent 2 unreturned messages. It really grinds my gears. Plus it is hot hot hot!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrhf_zgtmAg

OK, back to the good stuff. Last week I had my birthday and we had a lovely gift of spa treatments at Top Notch in Stowe from my folks. Saturday seemed like a good day to make it happen! We got a massage and then sat by the pool for the day and had lunch. It was pretty relaxing. I will mention that my masseuse was an 80yr old lady whose stomach kept growling in a weird way and she also asked if I worked out because it was tough to really get to my scapula. So there was that. We then stopped at the movie theatre and saw Harry Potter. It was pretty good. Go ahead and joke. It was better than some of the other crap I have watched lately.

Earlier this week I had to travel to NYC and New Jersey. Speaking of f*ing hot! Every time I made the mistake of walking a block or two I sweated like a pig. I had a couple pretty solid celebrity sightings. Lucky Luchiano from Boardwalk Empire, Steven Colbert, and a very hot Heather Graham. And they got to see me! Pretty awesome for both sides of the equation really... Some of the NY highlights, dinner one night at Blue Ribbon sushi was really solid. The fish was fresh and everything was well prepared. We had a small fish that was sashimi'd up and then they took back the skeletal bones and fried them up until they were like delicious fish chips! We also had an egg custard w/ seafood that was temperature hot but really delicious. Of course following that with the chef's choice was probably a mistake in terms of food amount... the sashimi and the rolls were really out of sight. I especially enjoyed the tuna belly, the salmon w/ caviar, and the lobster roll.

Tues. I had lunch at China Grill which was good for a in and out quasi power lunch place. The drunken chicken was good. The chicken satay was good. The spicy seared tuna was good. It was all very efficient and still quite good, a solid place for a nice quick lunch.

Tuesday night we hit up Craft for dinner and that was really quite good. We waved in most of the menu and it was good to exceptional. The oysters were fresh and briny, the braised short ribs were tender and flavorful. The crispy bacon was off the hook. We also had braised halibut and sirloin steak that were both very well cooked. The sides of baby carrots and onions and hen of the wood mushrooms were all great. The service was professional, the food was well executed, the wine was nice, and the presentation was top notch. What else can I say? Now you might be asking... hey Jay, you usually have a pretty sensitive constitution, how did you survive all of that food? Not well. I feel bad for whoever had to clean the bathroom at my hotel on Wed. I f***d that place up pretty bad. I had not slept well for 3 days and the different foods and butter and all... bot, it was a lethal combo!!! Anyway, I think I am going to hop and go back to being not comfortable!

I would be grey if...

2011-07-15T11:32:00.000-04:00

Turned 35 yesterday. I rang in my 35th year with a pulled hamstring, loud cat, crazy cleaning lady, nice wife, old house, etc... I woke up late and watched a bit of the British Open while eating breakfast and checking emails. Then I went out and painted a couple of chairs then headed to Sears to buy a fridge. Would have gone to Bed Bath and Beyond but was not sure I would have enough time! Seriously, I am lame. Fun times w/ the kid at Sears, I asked what fridge they recommended. He told me it depended on what I thought looked good and fit my space. That is why my old fridge is f*ing busted, it is a piece of shit but it looks nice!!! Idiot. Anyway, we had done some research and went w/ the Kenmore, hope it works out. I then went to Barkeater's (yeah, unfortunate name) and had a BLT w/ avocado which was excellent and then a martini. That one drink f*d me up. I went home and fell asleep. Then I got up and mowed the lawn and weed whacked. It was actually a nice day. I even had a very nice dinner w/ my special lady. All in a pretty good birthday. Now I am off for an early bird supper and my Geritol supplement!

Is it Wrong?

2011-07-12T17:08:00.000-04:00

So I slipped out of work a little early Friday and played golf w/ some work buddies. That is not the right or wrong part (it was right... very right). My special lady happened to send me an email and I was in a meeting at the time so I sent back a response on my cell. She saw it was on the cell and asked where I was, so I replied "in a meeting". That was true. I then proceeded to leave and go to the course. We emailed back and forth through out the day and all of mine came from my cell. I never expressly said I was golfing... never said I wasn't though either. I got home and took my gear off and got in the shower. She never saw me in my golf clothes but to be fair I left them on top of the hamper. So on Sunday we were taking a walk, and I happened to mention my golf game. I was a little vague about it. I was caught! But was I really caught? I mean I did not expressly keep it from my wife, did not tell anyone else to hide it, and I did leave the proverbial bloody gloves all over the place. I was not in too bad of trouble because my lady is a cool shit but it is an interesting question. I say it was ok but in a gray area. But that's just me.

Karma got me in the form of a bad score and one swing that hit a tree branch on the back swing that came crashing down on my shoulder. F*ing trees.

If you are looking for a hot band name and are a finance geek... A-bird came up w/ a gem, 50 Basis Points. Shit dude, it is better than 50 Seconds to Mars or whatever the f*** that stupid band is.

I also have a sick idea for a customized t-shirt. If you know a good place post it. Once I pull the trigger I will let the idea out. It might also go on a koozy. If I didn't have to buy 20... and pay a huge shipping charge... and $40 printing charge... and sign a second mortgage...

And lastly, thanks to DW for sending me the best thing I have watched in awhile...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XI_9Yxr0blo

USA! USA! USA!

2011-07-06T17:01:00.000-04:00

We finally got some relief here in the damp northeast this weekend. It was a little rainy Sunday morning but the rest of the weekend was quite pleasant. It has been very warm and the sun has even poked out. Well, except for this afternoon when hail hit the building sideways... Anywho, my special lady and I had a very nice relaxing weekend. Sunday was the money day. We got up and had some breakfast and then drove out to hike Mt Abraham. The one kick in the cajones? As we drove east towards the mountain we ran into a large fourth or July fair in Huntington. As in the shut the main road down and there was no way to get around for several miles. Ok, no big deal, it was a nice day so we just headed on an alternative route around. Until we got to the next town south, Bristol. Another f*ing parade!!! Fat people in jorts bikini tops and all tattooed up, and then there were the ladies!!! It is really something seeing the crowds at local fairs. Really something. I am a bit of a genius behind the wheel so I was able to cruise through a few parking lots and find our way eventually to the trail head. From there it was a lovely hike. Sure, maybe I was sweating like a fool and almost passed out half way up but it was very nice regardless. One fun fact... on the top of the mountain there is ample room to sit and take in the view. So where did 2 ya-yos decide to pop a squat? yup, 18 inches behind my lady and I. Really? Couldn't find another place to sit? Had to make it weird? Thanks chief!

After the hike I was able to finish leg 2 of my amazing holiday trifecta... The 3 dessert day! Step 1. I had a cookie on the mountain. Step 2. After the hike we hit up a cremee stand where fatty fat fat here rocked a root beer float. Step 3. mini red velvet cupcake! What do you know about that shit!!! Here I am making fun of folks at the fair! Meanwhile, I have a few paper clips trapped in the gravity pull of my gut. Only one way to cure that... a beer! Or maybe the pulled pork we spent 28 hours cooking on Sunday. That was a disappointing bust. We prepped and cooked all f*ing day and the pulled pork was good, not great. And my stomach is a mess. I love pulled pork... it hates me.

We need more long weekends. Like all of them in the summer. And fall. And spring. Don't want to make winter feel like a bastard season. That would be mean.

Oh Boy!

2011-07-01T15:18:00.000-04:00

BBQ last night took a chunk out of me. Hey, do you know what a "glass bottom boat" is? Look it up. Bet the results on Google will surprise you. And if they don't... well you are kind of weird (T-Pain, I am looking at you!).
This is my favorite video on the interweb right now. I am not sure why but it cracks me up. http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6537531/richard-bransons-airplane-safety-video

I also want to direct you to my old fave http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoItDdjsRtQ which now has over 3500 hits! I am 1000 of those but whatever.

and sure... why not?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUwjG84PCUo

Beave on Beave!!

2011-06-30T15:26:00.000-04:00

**warning, this post may be nsfw and inappropriate for nerd... NERDS!!!!**

So for my intrepid readers from Iran and Russia, in a past life I was a bit of a partier at a small liberal arts college in the northeast by the name of Middlebury College. I wanted some fun so I became a part of the college's "Greek System" which had evolved or devolved into a co-ed social house system rather than fraternities and sororities. Why? Well, we as a intelligent compassionate community were against the exclusionary nature or the fraternity system. Whatever. I can tell you that I got to see some co-eds drunk, hang out with a slightly more diverse crowd, and I never had to grab another dude's dong. So that was pretty ok. Where, may you ask, am I going w/ this? Well, at the social house everyone got a nickname. Mine, was "Beave". Why? Well apparently in a drunken haze one of the brothers thought I looked like a high school friend of his nicknamed the Beave... so I took on the mantle. Even in college less than a dozen people called me Beave and thiose same friends do now. Ok "Beave", still not sure where this is going? Well, last night the topic of slang for female genitalia came up (don't ask). Have you ever noticed that there is no word for the... you know... that is not offensive to women (and some men). Go ahead, say them to yourself. Now when you go home, say them out loud... bet you either offend yourself or get slapped. On the flip side I can say weiner, dong, dick, thingie, wad, schlong, rod... etc... not only are they not too offensive, they are pretty funny. They are even plastered across the NY Post over the last month. If there is ever a female senator Leslie Beaver, I bet you will not be getting those dirty headlines! Put it in the bank!!! Of course when Susan Bagina makes it in Westchester County all bets are off.

Go ahead and noodle on that! I am now going home to get yelled at by my special lady for posting this piece of trash.

Date Night Surprise!

2011-06-27T16:44:00.000-04:00

I ended last week on a bit of a bender... we had a work related dinner Thursday night and I got a little over my skis. Like heading down Tuckerman's Ravine sans skis, over my skis! Some asshole tried to charge me $50 for the cab ride to Charlotte. It usually costs $35. The problem w/ cabs in Burlington is that they do not use meters and do not tell you the cost up front. My dickhead driver thought he he slip one by me in my drunken state. Well, f*** that guy! I paid $35. On the bright side I did have a lovely breakfast the next morning at Pennyclues. I usually don't go there because I refuse to wait over 30 minutes for anything, except maybe a good poo. We went at an off hour and got right in though. We started w/ biscuits and gravy and a bucket of spuds. The biscuit was ok but the gravy was kind of weird, a little too sweet. Can you really go wrong w/ a pile of potatoes and cheese though? The answer is no. I then wrapped it up w/ the huevos verdes. Delicious. Really nice tomatillo sauce. It was a good meal.

Saturday we went to my parents and spent some time w/ my nephew. It was a fun day, he is pretty cool, but has way too much energy for me. It was a very pleasant day though. We went to the Montshire Museum in Norwich. If you have smaller children and happen to be in the area, give it a look. It is like the Boston Children's Museum Lite. On our way back to Burlington we stopped in Montpelier for a beer at the 3 Penny Taproom, a movie (X-Men), and dinner at Positive Pi. It turned into a great date. The beer was very good and the movie was pretty entertaining. We stayed for the credits and then went to the bathroom afterward. When I came out I noticed a crowd at the door. The Capitol Theater was holding up all movie goers until we exited. 2 of us. What if I had to spend more time in the men's room? Were we really a threat to steal another movie experience? Is that a real problem in Montpelier? Anyway, like I said the movie was good not great, but very entertaining for a rainy Saturday night. Positive Pi was an odd joint. It was busy but not packed. We were seated right away in the front. We waited for a little bit before a runner came by and took our drink order, saying the waiter was jammed. Good thing he came by because it was 20 minutes or so before we actually saw our waiter and I was nearly drink empty w/ no water either. It is pizza not French gastronomique!!! The pizza itself was pretty good. Crust and sauce were good but there was too much garlic and not enough basil or sauce. OK, not great.

One last tidbit from Sunday. It stopped raining for 20 minutes so we cruised by Loews to pick up some stuff to build a raised bed garden. After dealing w/ 3 absolute ya-yos trying to cut some 2x4s for me we finally were ready to check out. The nerd behind the counter started in about how he wanted a checkout glove. Then he started talking about how a place he knew of gave checkout people whole exoskeleton arms. Yeah, that is really necessary for the idiot at Loews... a $1mm robotic arm. My wife just started to wander away leaving me to pretend this conversation w/ the 5th level Wizard Master was not happening. When we finally escaped the assclown had not put all of our merchandise in the cart. He was too busy imagining himself as a home goods cyborg. My lady had to go all the way back to fetch our stuff while I mowed the lawn... which ended up being a project finished in driving rain. F*ing rain.

F*** it, it is a slow summer

2011-06-22T16:46:00.000-04:00

Let's think of some fun product pitchmen/women.

Ben Bernake for Just for Men (we were just saying it looks like he colors his hair): "When I am not fighting inflation... I am fighting gray hairs!"

Bill Gross of Pimco Total Return Fund fame for Total brand cereal: (say this w/ a Mrs. Garrett voice) It would take 4 years for me to short enough U.S. Treasuries to equal the nutrition in one bowl of Total cereal! Then we would be broke El Erian! BROKE!!!

Katy Perry for Double Mint Gum: "I am a terrible singer but I have huge Double D boobs... chewing Double Mint Gum keeps me from the singing part!"

Tom Brady for Ugs: "Seriously... I am rich, play football, and have a smoking hot wife (and ex!). I can pitch whatever the f*** I want!"

Madonna for Pampers: "All of my stolen, er, I mean adopted kids wear Pampers. I think, I don't really know, the nanny takes care of that stuff when I am out w/ my 17 yr old boyfriend who is most likely blind in at least one eye."

Hulk Hogan for Zubaz pants: "Oh yeah brother... when I am dropping the big leg on Roddy Piper, I need some big pants. Zubaz!"

Barrack Obama for Nicorotte: "Look, I need a f*ing cigarette right now! Do you have any idea how f*ing stressful this job is?! I killed Bin Laden and I am still getting shit for the damn economy!! Ok, just give me a few pieces of that damned gum while I do the State of the Union."

Lindsay Lohan for Craftsman Tools: "When I want a night out these days... I need a special set of tools to get that pesky tracking bracelet off." Craftsman tools and 13 flirtinis... presto, another terrific Tuesday evening!"

Lady Gaga for Brawny paper towels: "Heck, I have made a shit ton of mistakes... Brawney really cleans 'em up!"

The Ultimate Warrior for Prozac: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQgZ7HLZLv8

The Decision Part 2

2011-06-17T09:54:00.000-04:00

We are reporting today from beautiful Ghaziabad in the Kunar Province of Afganistan. It is a beuatiful 98 degrees, rocky and dusty! We have had a major coup over the last few days... after difficult negotiations we have finally brought together the new Big 3 to Al-Queda!!!! There have been some misteps and having our leading scorer from the last few seasons get shot in the face hurts no doubt but here we go! Announcing our new point gaurd and the leader of the team... the Egyptian Magician... Ayman al Zawahiri!!! To help bring a championship tto Ghaziabad we have also secured the rights to recently released sext stud... Anthony "the Big Man" Weiner!!!!! And in the steal of steals... new power forward and long time bad guy.... Colonel Moammar "I look like a weird chick these days but will still kill you" Gadhafi!!!

Gadhafi: "I am happy to announce that I will be taking my talents to South Afganistan. We need to find some more role players and we certainly have some glaring holes, oh yeah... it sucks we live in abandoned warehouses and caves... but this big three should be good for not one, not 2, not 3, not 4... but 8 major world disruptions!!!"

***sorry, this post is probably in bad taste. But I hate terrorists and the Heat so f*** them both.

Really?

2011-06-15T17:13:00.000-04:00

This is what one of the stalls in the bathroom at our office looks like. I was going to take a picture but was afraid to take my phone in there... The floating fecal matter is like the green blob in Ghostbusters these days. Another WTF moment? I am at the urinal taking a piss when I notice not just the usual jungle of pubes but short hairs that looked like shavings. Manscaping? Are you shaving your face while urinating? Do you really need to save time that way?!?!?! Seriously?!?!?! I know I should not keep talking about the bathroom but our men's room and the dipshits who are allowed to drive on Rt. 7 in the mornings are 2 things that day after day baffle me. I have a better chance of figuring out the Goldbach conjecture than figuring out where that 17 year old in the SUV talking on her cell phone is going!

Go Bruins!

Can you tell enough Weiner jokes?

2011-06-13T16:09:00.000-04:00

It is Monday and sure, I could talk about the Bela Fleck show we went to last night that was very good as usual. And yeah, I could spend some time writing about the excellent HBO shows I watched this weekend about The Broad Street Bullies or the McEnroe/Borg rivalry that were both excellent. I could talk about the never ending rain, or my asshole cat who now swipes at strangers for no reason and puked on my bath mat this morning. There are plenty of things to rap about but today I think I will touch on a subject I have ignored for too long. NY Rep Anthony Weiner! I would like to get in on the NYPost angle and come up w/ the best Weiner headlines I can think of that they have (hopefully) not used yet...

Media rubs Weiner the wrong way.
Weiner stiffens up under the pressure
Obama frustrated, slaps Weiner around.
Politicians cuffing Weiner after latest outburst
Weiner goes deep into contacts for support
Weiner shrinks as Dems pour cold water on him
Weiner stuck between a rock and a dirty black jack dealer from Vegas
Weiner tries to get head above water
Weiner hanging out in anticipation of latest charges.
Weiner low and blue with no love from the left or right.
New pics show Weiner excited
Latest Republican masterstrokes have Weiner close to finished

I could go much more over the top but this is a family channel! Well, no, it is not but I am pretty sure people read it who might be disappointed if I break out a pussycat joke!!!

Jay About Jazz Fest

2011-06-10T16:03:00.000-04:00

It is jazz fest here in Burlington and last night my special lady, myself, and a few friends hit up a show featuring Bonerama and a band I really enjoyed in college, Viperhouse. Before the show we stopped by a new restaurant San Sai down on the waterfront in the old Taste space. We were a little worried because it was pretty empty but the waitress said they had a soft opening w/ little to no advertising so patronage was primarily word of mouth driven. The space itself is very nice and they had it tastefully decorated. There was also a soft soothing Japanese music playing in the background that made me feel like I was about to get a cucumber water and a Swedish massage. Nope. Anyway, we got a bottle of unfiltered sake, a 3 salad appetizer, edamame, a fresh crab California roll, spicy tuna, and salmon avocado roll. The salad was pretty good, we both liked the seaweed and the thistle salad. There was a cooked seaweed we did not care for. The edemame was good. Nice salt factor. The rolls were also good. The tuna was not great but the other two were nice and fresh. The rolls were a little loose and sloppy but the ingredients were pretty fresh, the rice had a nice consistency and the seaweed wrap was solid. Service was friendly, a little slow, but good. And the bill was cheap. $53 for all of that food and sake. I'd give it a thumb and a half and definitely go back.

The concert was also something. It has been raining like a mother f*r up here for a couple months so it was a little damp to get started. The concert was down by the waterfront which is a nice local but the rain kept the event under a big tent. We grabbed a beer and settled in for some decent music and fantastic people watching. Bonerama was good, pretty energetic. We were also treated to 4 finger dancing guy who moved like he was a marionette attached to strings. There was no bra hippy girl doing handstands. And who could forget guy holding his 12 year old daughter in a mildly uncomfortable way for too long considering she was about to get her driver's permit any day! My favorites were the yoga instructor who stretched between songs then absolutely rocked out w/ no shoes... and the old guy w/ the bald ponytail and the rainbow shirt who was dancing in an incredibly aggressive way that cleared out a space around him about 8 feet in diameter. The best part of the concert was when a storm came across the lake they panicked and evacuated the tent (you know because of the huge metal poles), telling us the concert was over. Of course after leaving the venue we later learned the concert was restarted when the lightning never actually materialized. The jackass security detail was pretty fired up about the whole thing. We did return and catch Viperhouse who were pretty good. Overall a good not great concert.

One last review... 2 huge thumbs up for the NY Post's coverage of the Andrew Weiner scandal. The headlines are out of this world!!!

Oates... OATES!!!

2011-06-06T16:26:00.000-04:00

So the highlight of our weekend (besides another delightful supper club of course) was a trip over to Essex to catch the Avett Brothers concert. We had seen them in a very intimate Randolph show a couple years ago and really liked them. This show was at the Champlain Valley Fairgrounds midway. Larger, no seats, less atmosphere but not terrible. You can see the show just fine from the beer garden (a roped off area... lame) but the acoustics are pretty bad. In front of the stage the sound is better and you can easily get about as close as you want to the stage. The concert is fine although it felt very short. They played some standards and had a pretty nice energy. I liked seeing them in the concert hall/theater much better. The highlight of the evening for me was the opener... John Oates of Hall & Oates fame. He is a little guy surrounded by bigger people and playing a huge guitar that made him seem even smaller. The music was a grass roots-y style americana that was pretty good. He also busted out a couple old H&O numbers including this gem; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8nlQ4VI4Uk&feature=related

Another highlight was the checkpoint in the Noosk. That was unpleasant. Fortunately my special lady was our designated driver and we were not stopped. It would have been fine but that always sucks and makes your heart pound. I was nervous and only a passenger, a slightly drunk passenger! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8LPdTX4Hk0&feature=related
Now did you say "yes sir"?!

Things You Probably Do Not Care About

2011-06-02T16:33:00.000-04:00

So in the month of May can you guess which country followed the U.S. for the second most hits on Jay About Town? Iran. Yup, Iran. Always knew I was a hit with the Mullahs! Not sure how I get most of my traffic. Before I could do the deep dive I assumed if you were reading this you were my dad, my wife, or one of my friends. Apparently there are automatic searches that look up pictures or keywords I have on the site and they latch on to advertise bullshit you may or may not want. Does my dad need to know where to score the best legal drugs? Don't think so. Chinese herbs for a larger... personality? Maybe for T-Pain. We could all use a Ric Flair mortgage though... http://www.thetruthaboutmortgage.com/ex-pro-wrestler-enters-mortgage-business/ Anywho, I like to see these stats... they make me laugh. Like farts. And wrestling midgets. And fat guys dancing. And monkeys telling jokes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxJRSmIBjd4

OK, how about a little topical discussion... Why is the political discourse so absolute and vitriolic these days? Mitt Romney was quoted saying "Barack Obama has failed America". Yikes. Why come with the hammer so soon into your campaign... that dude just killed Bin Laden? These politicians are like radio show hosts, they throw out wild statements meant to shock and capture sound bites for a Twitter generation and it allows them to blow up and then quickly fade away. I think I can jump on this bandwagon though and help these folks. Here are my suggestions for political taglines for top contenders.

Barack Obama: I killed Bin Laden Bitch! (Please ignore those ugly jobless people next door...)
Mitt Romney: I hate Obama... He failed you and probably was born in Al Queda-land
Sarah Palin: I am the cute one who hates Obama, you betcha!
Donald Trump: Obama... You're Fired! Did I forget to mention I often file chapter 11? Never mind.
Michele Bacchman: I am the not as good looking even crazier person who hates Obama! He is a Communist!
Tim Pawlenty: Hey remember the governor of Minn. before me? He will suplex you if you don't vote for me!
Arnold Swartyfjshkjhnegger: Yah, I am groping for votes!
Newt Gingrich: Hey, I was huge in the 90s! And I still hate that Taliban jerk Obama!
Bernie Sanders: Mr. Obama, come to Vermont and see how the trust fund babies struggle to afford $1000 lift tickets!
Barney Frank: rabbababalalbablbalbalaba banks bad.

So there. Pretty sure w/ some slick glossy presentation material I have something? One more thing, let's see if we can build some site traffic. Will and Kate wedding pics/ Blake Lively boobs/ Miami Heat suck/ Jennifer Anniston dating Charlie Sheen?/ Jeter A-Rod love spat/ BEIBER BEIBER BEIBER!!!!

I expect a huge uptick in traffic tomorrow, or some kind of cease and desist letter?

Nice Long Weekend

2011-05-31T17:06:00.000-04:00

Man, folks must have been rocking the BBQ's because the men's room at our office has been occupado all day! The weather is finally turning up here in the tundra and it feels a little bit like summer. After 35 straight days of rain along w/ hail, tornado winds, and the like we have had a couple nice days of 70s and sun which ain't too bad.

So I had to work down in NYC at the end of last week and then my special lady and I took a day or so to unwind and enjoy the city. It is that special weekend just before it becomes unbearably hot and smells like urine. We were greeted on our trip in from the airport w/ a car engulfed by flame. A whole f*ing car! Baghdad style... it was crazy. Fortunately it did not explode and we were able to make it to our hotel the Tribecca Grand. We like that hotel but it was plain to see why we got such a solid rate... it is not the hip place to be anymore. The space is still cool but there were families and lots of dudes w/ polo shirts tucked into jorts. Still we had a nice stay. A few of the highlights.

Minetta Tavern, I had heard it was good but it was not overly hyped to me which was good. After we ate there I heard things such as "the burger is better than sex". That is not true. It was good. Very good in fact. But better than sex? You need a new partner chief! It was a cool scene though and the beef was all very solid. I also ate in 2 funny hotels. In Stamford we ate at Napa & Co. which is a surprisingly good restaurant in the Marriott of all places? Of course the Marriott also had a Porsche Cayenne to pick guests up so who knows?! Try the foie gras meatballs or the sheep's milk gnocchi. Both were very nice. I also grabbed a burger w/ my buddy AG (congrats on the new baby buddy!) in the Parker Meridian in Midtown. That place was crazy. In the lobby of the hotel you can see a long line at all hours waiting to get back behind a velvet curtain. All day night club? Nope. A dive burger joint. Seriously, it is a shithole that they seemed to have built the hotel around. You wait for a long time to go into the place w/ only a neon burger to lead the way. Once inside you order from a very simple menu and fight for limited seating. Then you tear into a delicious greasy burger and fries. It was great. Still not better than sex.

I would tell you about the Peking Duck House but somethings are better left unsaid. Plus I don't exactly remember the location or much besides the delicious duck and the saki bombs. F*ing saki bombs!

The highlight was our bike rental. We took out these brand spanking new and super bright orange bikes from the hotel. Several people informed us that we were the first ever to use them as they had just come in. Uh oh! But it was great, we rocked these wacky ten speeds up the bike path along the West Side highway all the way up to 125th st. It was a beautiful ride, scene, and fun way to spend time w/ the lady. Plus we really "earned" our post ride cocktail!!!

So There!

What a weird day

2011-05-23T17:29:00.000-04:00

My weekend was nothing of note though it was relaxing. Unfortunately i made the mistake of taking out food from Chef Leu after a couple beers on the golf course. Needless to say I was awake in the middle of the night bidding farewell to the Chef! I woke up this morning tired and a little flustered but got myself out the door ok. As I pull out of the driveway I notice a woman about 50yrs old in typical frumpy 50 yr old VT attire standing w/ a umbrella in the driveway next door. It is a long drive and I don't really know the neighbors who live there. The woman seemed confused then half-heartedly put out her thumb to hitch. I drove by but then felt bad. She looked less than harmless and the wind was whipping w/ rain threatening. So I stopped and picked her up. She was apparently new to the area and walking (5-10 miles) into town. It was an awkward conversation for the 10 minute drive. Talking about her bike and kayak, her trying out VT, some other random mumbling. I dropped her off finally and was on my way. This was a pretty odd way to start my day. I am not sure how it is in other parts of the country but you never run into a young buxom blond looking for a ride? It is usually creepy old dudes fresh off their 12th DUI, or in some cases... crazy old women w/ no car walking in the wind?

In other news... R.I.P. to one of my favorite characters, Randy Macho Man Savage who died of a heart attack/ car accident? Why not. Just remember... The cream rises to the top-a OOOO YEAHHHH!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cr0BljPKksM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIaK3hEJiX0&feature=related

Jay About the Movies...

2011-05-17T17:00:00.000-04:00

Ok... couple quick things before we get to the movies. One there was a rumor that a Libyan missile hit a navy ship. I happen to have the exclusive footage (hope nobody actually got hurt, seriously). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiORvK-v3ys&feature=player_embedded#at=55

So apparently the cool new thing to do for big timers is to screw random women. I do not condone this and I am very much against anything remotely close to rape. That said, for a guy like Tiger or the Terminator, way back in the day Kennedy was was a cheater, Magic was a cheater, Jordan was a cheater, Eisenhower... well, maybe not. The difference in my mind is that back then there was no internet for one. Secondly, Kennedy was having sex w/ Marylin Monroe... Tiger got down w/ a waitress at I-Hop. Nobody can defend that. Nobody.

On to the movies! Friday night my special lady and I had a pizza and settled in for Black Swan which I was really looking forward to. The previews looked good, the reviews were good, there was Portman/Kunis making out to look forward to. Well, it was not terrible but the movie was really nothing special. I had to fight to stay awake and it was not nearly as creepy, sexy, awesome as it had been promoted to be. Go see The Fighter or True Grit and do yourself a solid.

Ok, Sunday it was raining as usual so we hit up the theater. The movie du jour? Thor!! I like comic book movies, I just do, sue me. This one had a big nobody in Chris Helmsworth as Thor, and second helping of Natalie Portman as the stereotypical sexy scientist that does not actually exist, Hannibal Lecter as Odin, and a bunch of other random people including Striker from the The Wire as a weird blind gate keeper? My lady liked the movie for the action the love story and the shirtless Helmsworth and who am I to disagree?! Just kidding, I am all man! The action was pretty good and the movie was reasonable length but managed to tell a somewhat sensible story in those 2 hours. It was a very solid rainy day big screen movie although I am not sure it is winning any Golden Globe awards. I would say that if you like that genre check it out, you can even take your special someone, unless they are an absolute stick in the mud in which case you probably are not allowed to go to the movies and are probably at Bed Bath and Beyond or a bridal shower on Sundays. Ha ha !!!

Jay About Hardwick

2011-05-16T17:11:00.001-04:00

Yeah, go ahead and look up Hardwick VT on Google. You may be asking a question such as... "why the f*ck would you go to Hardwick?". Well, my friend I could not fault you for such a query. As it turned out we were looking at our 3705704705 day of rain this spring and I was getting a little tired of working on my ark so I rooted around for another activity. Well, up in Greensboro Bend there is a little brewery called Hill Farmstead. The brewmaster is a young guy who has travelled, learned, and is currently hitting the cover off the beer ball. I am a huge hops fan and Shaun Hill is a craftsman w/ the hops. He is also down w/ porters, saisons, and some other variations that are really eye opening. So my special lady and I hopped in the car and headed north to check out the brewery. http://hillfarmstead.com/wpblog/

As we headed north we happened to notice a sign for another smaller but semi-famous brewer Rock Art. You may recall Rock Art as the brewer who was sued by the assholes at Monster beverage for calling a beer Vermonster. Well, Rock Art won. Anywho, they make some pretty heady beers and are known for dialing up the alcohol content w/ the Ridge Runner barley wine being a signature and coma inducing number north of 8% booze. http://www.rockartbrewery.com/home . So we stopped into the small tasting room and got ready for a couple beers. Then we waited. And waited. And waited. And were still waiting when we noticed 4 other patrons also waiting glasses empty. There was a guy and a girl talking by the door but it was difficult to tell if either actually worked there. I was just about to pour myself a round when the girl came back to the taps and started actually pouring rather than making small talk w/ some hippy. She was quite engaged and friendly. The beers were fine. I like the Ridge Runner ok and their IPA is decent. Overall it was fun to check out the brewery which was quite small, one medium size warehouse but nothing earth shattering.

Next stop the Hill Farmstead. This one was funny, it is in the middle of nowhere and really looks like somebody's house w/ a barn out back and equipment all over the yard. We found the door and cruised in to the cement floor no nonsense warehouse w/ a ramshackle bar pouring 6 or so beers. It was busy for a small space w/ several folks crowded around the bar. As was anticipated the beer was great. I am a huge fan of the American Pale Ale Edward. The James was also very good. I will not go into the details of the history as their website can explain that. The guy is committed to his roots though. One special treat was their Limoncello beer which was inspired by the drink bearing its name and conceived in Italy. Shit was solid. I would not drink a lot of it but for a sipping beer in small doses it was good. I had heard Master Hill had a bit of a prickly personality but did not find that to be the case. He was there pouring beers and talking about them and how they came about. It was a fun time. They have a cool vibe and great beer.

Last stop was back in Hardwick for dinner at Claire's. The space is very nice and relaxing. They pride themselves on local ingredients. We started w/ beer battered vegetables which were very good and not too heavy. The aoli was also solid. My lady had fettuccine w/ Italian sausage. It was baked which was a surprise and made it a little heavy. There was also too much sausage which our server assured us was not the case. Tasted ok though. I had a brisket which was quite good. The warm cabbage slaw and mashed potatoes were nice additions. Price was reasonable, service was mediocre. Overall I would give it 1 1/4 thumbs up and give it a try if you are in the area. I think a burger would be pretty good there, or the trout.

Anyway, that is enough for now... check back later this week for Jay About the Movies... Whoopie T-Pain looks forward to seeing you there!

TCB

2011-05-10T17:14:00.000-04:00

Yeah, that's right... Takin' Care of Business is what I do!!! Well, sometimes anyway. Hey, know what's fun? Standing in a pool of piss in front of a bathroom stall. Seriously, we can send rockets to space and create new faces for people but a large percentage of people cannot get their urine in a 2'x3' container.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0O7_3o3BrI&feature=related

So we watched 2 movies on the cable television the past couple days. One was ok and almost good... the other one.... not so much. Let's start w/ the dooker in the pool first, Easy A. It starred a bunch of people I am only vaguely familiar w/ including the guy from Wings and that wine movie where the other guy hates merlot. Then there was Lisa Kudrow... you know, the not talented or good looking one from Friends. The main character was the red headed girl from SuperBad who Jonas Hill accidentally punched in the face. Quite a Murderer's row. It started out as a play on The Scarlet Letter and was ok initially but then it got a little played. The characters were all a little too clever and smug. In no situation do you find yourself surrounded by an ultra intelligent crowd who all have super witty lines right on hand waiting to turn a phrase or play a catchy double entendre.. unless you are in the Bird household! It just got a little boring and ridiculous. 1 thumb up my own ass unless this gem is shown on an airplane in which case you might want to get in the mix.

Movie 2 had mucho buzz out of the gate but was a bit of a flop at the old box office Scott Pilgrim Versus the World. This one had Michael Cera doing Michael Cera things. There were a bunch of other hipster actors as well. It was certainly bordering on pretentious and filled with what I am sure were inside jokes I did not get... but the acting was pretty solid, the cinematography was visually stunning, and it was just one of those movies that I found entertaining in spite of myself. I would not pay for it but if it is on HBO or something I would check it out. Kind of like sex! Hahaha.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

2011-05-05T16:11:00.000-04:00

Why do we celebrate this Mexican holiday? Is it the Mexican independence day? Nope! We are just drunks who like an excuse to eat nachos and drink a Margarita or 12! May 5th was actually the day that the Mexicans beat back those French punks at the Battle of Puebla in 1862. It was still a pretty good win so cheers big ears!!! And remember to mark your calendar... on July 17th we will be celebrating the Battle of Bunker Hill. We can drink Bud Lattes, eat hot dogs, and beat a pinata formed in the shape of bad financial decisions! O-Lay!!!!

So I was craving some red meat the other day as I have been eating bird food for the past week w/ my special lady. I had a small window of opportunity and took a run at Archie's Grill on Rt 7 in Shelburne. It is a clean enough place and they use local beef from Laplatte Farm in their burgers. I went w/ the bacon cheese burger w/ fries. They cook them all medium but the burger was tender and cooked well. It was good. I liked the bacon (taste and consistency), the beef, and the buns were great. The fries were pretty ok too. It was a little pricey for a hole in the wall burger joint but not outrageous. If you are looking for a burger in the area and want to sit down or take out I'd go to Archie's again. 1 thumb up and willing to try again.

Now, I am off to party... mucho gusto!!!

Yeah F*** you Bin Laden!!!

2011-05-03T17:16:00.000-04:00

I did not go out in the street and celebrate the killing of Bin Laden but I am not sorry he is dead. That is it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPin5LRBfZo

So I finally watcher The Fighter the other night and it was great. Marky Mark was as good as I remember since the days w/ the funky bunch! He is good when he does not have to talk so much. Amy Adams was very sexy. The family was dirty, smarmy, boozy, very old school Southie. My brother lived down there for awhile, think he started wearing tank tops more often? Just kidding. And Christian Bale? Well, he was sensational. This movie was the tits guy and well worth the falking rental, 1 3/4 thumbs gouging you in the eye!

Hit up Sugarbush for one last day Saturday w/ my buddy Pedro. It was fun, like 50 degrees and sunny. I was pretty sloppy and took a couple needless face plants. I'd like to blame it on Pabst but really I am just not a great slush pusher. Still, it was better than raking the rocks out of the lawn which I did Sunday!!

Speaking of Sunday, we were downtown and stopped into the Right Aid to pick up some soap. That is the nexus of Burlington depression, even worse than the Walmart in Williston. First, you have to navigate the gauntlet of beggars on the street just to get to the entrance which is surrounded by several rascals, more beggars, and a fat woman w/ a mangy dog and 13 kids. It is like a scene from Dante's Inferno, I'd say the 3rd ring. I feel bad saying it and maybe I sound like a jerk but it is sad, depressing, and frustrating. Inside you are treated to a clientele purchasing candy, prescription meds they probably should not have, tobacco, and the worst was the guy w/ his kid buying 2 cases of soda and some drink mix. I only partially blame these people themselves and actually have to put this one on the "system". We need to put more emphasis on preventative health care and by that I mean teaching people how to eat well (healthy) and take care of their bodies at a young age. Health class should be more than half assed floor hockey and awkward 2 week sex ed sessions. I am not for taxing sugar or soda or anything like that but I am for weighting certain items you can purchase w/ govt. assistance, and trying to figure out how to avoid the diabetes plague that is attacking us because of negligent dietary behavior promoted throughout this country. There, I said it.

Poop. Had to lighten the mood there... this is not the evening news or anything. It is the coolest Blog ever!!!

Odds and Ends

2011-04-29T17:03:00.000-04:00

My special lady is under the weather and I feel bad about that. Last night to rest up we had a little food and watched a movie... Love and Other Drugs. This movie has Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyleydnfahlen and is for all intents and purposes a love story. Needless to say I was not super jazzed going in. Hello Angry Birds!! But, I must say it was a pretty good movie. The acting was solid, the story was interesting, Anne Hathaway's boobs are great (so is Jake's butt!). We both liked it quite a bit. And unicorns kick ass!! Just kidding, that is a really obscure reference. This is a great date movie, the ladies will love the touching love affair... the gentlemen will enjoy dick jokes, the fat brother and the nudity. 1 1/2 thumbs up.

I was walking up to the office yesterday and it was raining so hard that even though I had a rain jacket... it was raining so hard my pants soaked through up to my ass. That sucked. I had to change into gym shorts. So I was the asshole in a button down and shorts. How many questions did I get as to why I was wearing shorts? 128. The air conditioner that was broken the day before was also now working full force. So I was wearing shorts in an office w/ the temp set at 25 degrees. Not a great day.

The other night I also had my first Buffalo Wild Wings experience. A few of us got together to drink beer and watch hockey. It is a great place to watch sports... there are like 100 TVs in there. The beer is cold and fresh tasting and there are plenty of choices. The food is another thing. For one thing, the menu has the caloric listing for everything. In a joint w/ wings, quadruple chili burgers and salads covered in cheese sauce... you do not want to know the calories you are taking down. Just so you know, it's alot!!! I had some wings, they were ok, not great. The hot BBQ sauce was pretty spicy. I would go back to sit at the bar and watch a ball game... I would probably try to avoid the chow. Just sayin'.

Jay About Movies

2011-04-26T17:34:00.000-04:00

Had a nice long weekend, went to see my folks on Easter which was nice. We also had a movie/dinner shindig and that was fun. Heck, Friday I rolled solo w/ a day off. I slept in, had some breakfast, watched the Price is Right, did a little housework, and even read a book for a little while. It was great. I am reading Bill Simmons basketball tome and it is pretty great. I am a pretty big b-ball fan and I like his writing style quite a bit so it all adds up to mucho enjoyment for me. Plus you can pick it up and put it down w/out losing plot or anything.

So this post is about 2 movies we recently watched. On Saturday our event was Spanish themed so we picked out a Guillermo del Toro movie... The Devil's Backbone. I will give anyone $10 if you can tell me what the f*ck this movie was about! Now to be fair I had a little sangria before we got started and I do not speak Spanish but seriously?! I also think a thorough background in the communist regime in Spanish and the resulting war would be helpful but still?! I did not hate it and thought it was fine but I seriously lost the message and thought a few of the characters became caricatures of Spanish archetypes. Yeah, whose the smart guy now?! Huh? HUH?!?! 1 thumb hitchhiking to confusion town.

Last night was themed "A Night in the Noosk". I am never really going in the direction of Winooski although it is a cool little downtown w/ a few bars and restaurants and it is worth spending more time there for sure. Well my buddy T-Pain and I went across the river after work and hit up the Monkey Bar for a whiskey and water. It was actually pretty busy for a Monday at 5:30? We joked around and had a couple drinks until my special lady showed up... that's when the laughs stopped. Just kidding. She did have a drink w/ us then we cruised over to Tiny Thai for a bite. It was cheap and acceptable as usual. Then it was back to the mainland to relax for the evening. We decided to watch an HBO movie on demand and the choice was Invictus. What a piece of crap... I spent the whole movie playing Angry Birds. How do you make a sports movie revolving around Nelson Mandela and the coming together of post Apartheid South Africa emotionally vacant? The acting was wooden. The movie was not short but it never fully developed any of the characters. You never really became attached to anyone even the Mandela character. The end was ok when the big rugby match goes down but who the hell knows the rules to rugby? So you sit there and watch dudes grapple, then the whistle blows, then they kick the ball, the the whistle blows, then they grapple but nothing really happens, the some guy runs 2 feet and is tackled, then the whistle blows... that went on for 30 minutes. It was like watching high school field hockey but played by soccer hooligans who are not allowed to throw punches. I was bored. Probably would have fallen asleep except Angry Birds kept me awake. 1 thumb kind of angling down. This movie should have been Sylvester Stallone Victory but was more like watching steam come off a warm turd. So there.

It's My Favorite Game

2011-04-20T16:03:00.000-04:00

What's OenoSteve rocking today?! Could it be chartreuse? Violet? neon green polka dots? Nope... Peach. The answer is peach.

Couple quick thoughts... so France is sending military advisers to help the Libyan rebels? Should we all just concede to Mommar now? Is that too joke too easy? If I keep asking questions will this ever get funny?

Apparently my I-phone is keeping track of "everywhere" I go. How much data do they need about my bathroom, my couch, my office, and the bar at the Farmhouse?

Am I more than a little grossed out by all of the preggo Mariah Carey pictures on the internet? Yes, yes I am.

What the f*ck is going on w/ all of these weirdos doing weird shit on the interwebs and then becoming famous and most likely moderately wealthy? Is it really all I have to do... post a video of myself singing Hall and Oats songs while doing a foxtrot in a sumo suit and spraying myself w/ mustard? 'Cause I'll do it!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5D6IkDRvx18

By the way... Oates of Hall and Oates 6/3 in Essex!

Duuuuude it's 420 Man!

2011-04-20T15:33:00.000-04:00

Oh yeah, I set my alarm to wake up at 4:20AM because I did not want to miss it! HAHA! It is actually cold and rainy up here so I am not sure the hippies will be gathering on the UVM green today. I might freak a couple stoned kids out when I drive by them later this afternoon on rt 7 and harsh their buzz by giving them a disapproving head shake and waving my angry fist at them! Little will they know I don't care about their life choices but their slow indecisive driving cannot be tolerated!!!!

Jay About the Ol' Trunkey in the Tradesmen's Entrance!

2011-04-19T16:30:00.000-04:00

I am possibly ashamed of that title but I think the reference is a good one so it stays! So why would I be dropping that classic? An Ode to the English my friends. Last night I had a "business meeting" then dropped off our latest Dexter episode at Waterfront Video. The first thing I noticed was the line out the door at the post office of last second suckers mailing their taxes. I have been doing that online for awhile and this year we got a tax guy. I hope I have not jinxed myself into an audit?!

So as I walk past these people and think to myself, "why don't you just pay the $30 and file these through Turbotax?", I notice it... Union Jacks! I have seen this fish and chips dive in the strip mall many times and now seemed like the perfect time to check it out. My lady had plans and I was on my own for chow. I should have been alarmed that there was not anyone in the shop (seriously not one person) nor did it look like anyone had been there for awhile. That is never a good sign. If the food is good people will find their way in. Oh well, maybe they dominate the Subaru dealership lunch crowd. I glanced at the expansive menu but when you are in a fish and chips place for the first (and possibly only) time you get the fish and chips right? There are tables but the decor is nothing special and it is a little dingy, although you could get a decent view of the kitchen and it seemed ok. I took a gander at some supposed English rag that is imported or possibly even published in San Diego while I waited. Nothing special. They all seem pretty fired up about the upcoming nuptials. Better happen fast, Prince William is losing real estate on the top of his head at an alarming pace. Hey, I know from experience dude! After a short wait they wrapped my food in a clean white piece of sandwich paper and then the requisite newspaper tossed a couple malt vinegar packets and a tartar sauce in the bag and I was on my way.

Now to an extent my plan was fatally flawed because I ordered fried food and had a 20 minute drive ahead of me leaving too much dead space for the fish and chips to get soggy which to an extent they did. The fish was not too fishy and the batter was pretty good. The grease tasted a little un fresh and the whole thing was pretty heavy. The best fried fish always has the fried goodness but the grease is regularly changed and you do not feel like you are eating 16349339873 calories of fried stuff (even though you are). I also generally like a piece of fish that is flaky and looks really fresh where this one was most likely frozen for an undetermined amount of time. The fries were also ok but I should have eaten them post haste. Overall the service was friendly and prompt, it was not too expensive and the food was about as expected for a strip mall English fast food joint in Vermont. I'd give it one fried thumb sideways, I have nothing against it but am not sure I have a return engagement in the near future. I have already booked a space to watch the royal wedding so don't worry about it. McKee's Pub! I am pretty sure that is English or Irish... whatever, they are like family right?!

Jay About Bad Decisions!

2011-04-18T17:09:00.000-04:00

I live in Vermont. Northern Vermont. It was a choice, I have no one to blame but myself. So we line up the first VASL soccer game of the preseason for this past Saturday. In many places in the good old US of A it is warming up, trees and flowers are blooming, people are cruising around in t-shirts. We get to the field and it is probably 38 degrees with a howling wind and a little stinging rain. OK, this sucks. I am 30+yrs old and my body is not as loose as it used to be. In cold damp weather it is hard to warm up. But ok, this is no problem. Then it starts to snow. Yup, this is starting to really suck but no problem. We get started and it is butt ass cold. Within 5 seconds I take a rocket shot off my left quad which hurts like a mo-fo! Did I mention we are playing on artificial turf? Yeah, it is hard and fast... real fast! Well, at least it could not getting any worse. Oh wait... It then started dropping hail. F*ing hail! Stinging, cold, slippery... yeah, this sucked pretty bad. And we lost. The only upside was watching some kid on the other team get called for a foul and then turn into a screaming, swearing, spitting roid freak. Seriously, he started foaming at the mouth and dropping f-bombs like a maniac. Did I mention this was a preseason game that did not count for anything?

One other thing for this post. My special lady and I dropped into a large box grocery store and realized how snobby we had become. This Hannaford's had long aisles filled w/ chips, candy, and soda. Fat people cruised around w/ carts full of faux food. One of the major categories for an aisle was "drink mix". What the f*ck is drink mix and does it need it's own section?! The capper was when we got in line we could smell the dude in front of us from a few feet away. He was already drunk mid afternoon. I am guessing the last shower experience was possibly 3 days ago? We had his money out well in advance and could not wait to give the checkout girl the cash and cruise out w/ his sole purchase... 6 pack of beer. I was pretty uninterested in seeing him later in the parking lot or out on the road. Probably a good call, when we saw him drive by in the lot his car looked like it was no stranger to a bump and grind or two. Sad really.

Did I mention it was hailing up here the other day. F*ING HAILING!!!!!

Hey, What is OenoSteve Rocking Today?!

2011-04-15T16:33:00.000-04:00

Yeah, it has been a slow week. So let's talk about my man OenoSteve and his super cool shirt. Seriously, check this thing out! It is like Where's Waldo?! Notice in this particular shot the banana... just sayin'. What this picture does not capture is the attitude, the panache, the hilarious 70's leather jacket that accompanied the ensemble this morning.

Here's to you OenoSteve, moving fashion forward into... the future! BTW... f*ing google blogger does not let me turn the damn picture around so yes... I know it is sideways.

Jay About to get the F* out of here!

2011-04-14T17:07:00.000-04:00

But I figured before I do I would put out a couple quick thoughts as I have not posted this week. We ate at Bluebird last night and it was good. It was the first time I had been there since they changed chefs. I had a Guinea hen that was nice, and a parsnip soup w/ ham that was really very good. I would say that as usual it was pretty salty and that the wait was ridiculously long... but it was overall a good experience.

This past weekend we stopped over in Vergennes and grabbed a bite to eat at 3 Squares. My special lady and I shared a turkey panini. It was crispy, buttery and overall good but does it really take 30 minutes to make a sandwich when the restaurant is only 1/2 full? Seems to be a trend...

Last thing, if you were wondering what OenoSteve's shirt looked like today? Navy blue w/ light blue and pink stripes. Yeah, it is really something. I have to go now before my farts turn lumpy!

Jay About Winning Duh!

2011-04-08T15:06:00.000-04:00

Yup, big win for the good guys last night. You are reading the work of a member of the Essex Men's recreational basketball championship team. Yeah, that's right... champions! I know what you are thinking, sh*t J-Bird, you are the f*ing man! Correct. I am.

The rest of this week has been brutal. It is painfully slow in the mkt. I have to spend my days listening to Obama and Boehner engage in a public slap fight. It's your fault the economy sucks. No, it's your fault! No, we want to cut medicare! But we want to provide coverage but raise taxes!

You are both wrong! Stop giving yourselves raises and spending $3000 on a f*ing toilet seat in the state house! Meanwhile the Red Sox look worse than both of these a-holes. They can't hit, pitch, play defense and they do dumb things in the field. So much for that 120 win season.

Ok, I need to find a happy place. How about we get back to the fun game... what is Oenosteve wearing today? Give up? Me too... I have no idea what color this shirt is... red? Orange? Peach?

Jay about dead horse beatin'!

2011-04-05T15:36:00.000-04:00

So sticking w/ my work and fecal matters theme... I have noticed of late a phenomena I will call "crap nappers". We have 2 stalls for business in the men's room in our office and 75% of the time you are in there you will be sharing some time w/ someone. I think all bathrooms no matter how clean are meant to be used quickly, effeciently, and for the business they were intended. Sure, there are times you may be in there longer than others but you are at least trying to get out of Dodge. Well, crap nappers are an interesting breed. I have been in the bathroom lately and beside me I know someone is in the next stall. I know this. But, it is deadly silent. No obvious noises, wiping, page turning from a financial times article (or Nat. Geo. of mine they are about to pilfer), not even breathing. Sometimes I worry and think about calling for help incase they are dead?! Ultimately I wonder if they are just sleeping? Weird right? If you are there the whole time I am and are not doing anything at all (let alone your intended purpose)... then what the f*** are you in there doing?! If you are a crap napper and reading this, leave a response, I am curious?

OK, enough of that unpleasantness... had some apps at Bistro 156 last night. OK, not great. The buffalo wings were fine. The pulled pork nachos needed more pork and were a little soggy. I got a kazoo this weekend. It is great. Pretty sure my co-workers hate me a little more than before. that's ok, I will serenade them w/ my kazoo! We were down in Manchester, VT to meet the in-laws on Saturday. Suprising amount of tri-state guidos. Lots of steroids, fake boobs, and tight t-shirts w/ dragons on them. Not many necks to speak of? We met up at Depot 62 which is a cool place. It is a furniture store w/ a turkish cafe inside. The furniture is expensive but they had some cool pieces. As for the chow. I had a delicious piece of baklava and a thick Turkish coffee. Some of the other things such as the hummus and the pizzas also looked very good. I would definitely go back.

Sunday we spent 2 hours cleaning the fridge. Yup... the fridge. Why? Cause it looked like Zuul was holding court in there waiting for the keymaster. Can you guess the obscure reference?

Not sure why I found this so amusing but I will leave you with...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWNLPl7oIRc&feature=relmfu

Weird

2011-03-31T17:13:00.000-04:00

So there are some new features on this Blog format and one of them was stats for the page. I am a vain man and had to see how I was doing in terms of readership. Well, much to my surprise I had some pretty decent hit volume this week, and this month. I had hits from Canada, Japan, even Brazil! But hold on a second... one of the most viewed posts was an old one that was really just a link to Porkchop Sandwiches. That is a great video but why all the love? The other fan favorite was a year end pity party I had for myself. It was not a great post but it had 33 follow up posts. 33!! Uh oh. The first 4 were in an Asian language. The next one was an offer for the best "legal drugs" on the internet. There was one about a type of blue cheese? Somehow, my blog has been spammed... f*ing internet. The upside is that if you want the best legal drugs, blue cheese, or you speak Mandarin Chinese... The the Rind a ding a ling post is most certainly a boon for you!!!

What a Shitty Day

2011-03-29T17:08:00.000-04:00

Last night we heard the cat running around and knew he was chasing a mouse. Yup, chased it right into our bedroom. I hear it scrambling around and flip on the light! There is the mouse, on the top of the curtains right next to our bed!! So I let the the cat in and sure enough, he cannot find the mouse. I lift him up to eye level w/ the frozen mouse. Nope, still nothing. So I drop the cat, pick up my slipper, and bash the mouse killing it in one stroke. It falls to the ground. Cat still has no idea what I did or where the damned mouse is. Stupid cat. That was at 3:30 AM. Not a great start to the day.

Around 10AM I am taking care of my morning business when all of a sudden the fire alarm in the officee goes off. F***, am I really going to meet my end on the crapper? So I finish up abruptly and cruise out to grab my phone and get the hell out of Dodge. False alarm. They were testing the system and had not briefed our office on the test. Thanks Marley Properties... were you also testing the homeless guy taking a dump in the elevator alarm?!

11AM, I am getting some work done and I run into a system error that I will not go into here but needless to say my face turned 12 colors of red (including crimson) and I nearly lost my mind. I was karate chopping mad. That was how mad I was. Karate chopping mad.

Then to top it off I find out that Barry Bonds might have used steroids and cheated to get the home run record?!?! Really?!?!?!?!?! AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Jay About Montreal

2011-03-28T17:23:00.000-04:00

Great weekend up North w/ my special lady and our friends LB^2. LB did a ton of research and we headed up w/ a great plan for the weekend. Per my usual style I just shaved an awesome mustache and went along for the ride!

Anyway, we got up to our hotel Le Relais Lyonnais and it was great. The guy at the front desk could not have been more friendly. The rooms were pretty decent size, quiet, well appointed and clean. The shower also had ridiculous water pressure! Frees coffee and water and an included breakfast at a little cafe next door that was really quite nice. They had solid omelets, real fruit salad, and nice bread. Hotel gets 1 3/4 thumbs up and is Montreal's #1 rated hotel on Trip Advisor which is well deserved.

For dinner we went to 5e http://www.aucinquiemepeche.com/ which was off the hook. The menu was in french but our waiter was very friendly and patient. After he explained it all we dove into wine and food. There is plenty of adventure w/ brain and chips (yup brain), cow tongue, and sweet breads but we went a little more mainstream. My lady and I started w/ delicious shrimp in vinegar and tomatoes that were succulent and delicious. My special lady had a fantastic braised beef shoulder and I had wonderfully juicy pork loin and surprisingly delicious octopus. We finished up w/ brownies that had surprisingly delicious sweet squash pieces. The whole thing was great (maybe except the bill?!). Great service, food, and space! 2 thumbs and 2 bottles of wine up!!

The bar we went to next was an in and out being a little crowded but in an aptly named move we switched gear and went to Plan B. They provided me w/ a whiskey in 1 glass and another w/ ice to slowly cool my drink down. Classy touch. The "DJ" was funny dancing like a madman and working his Apple laptop. It was fun though. Of course then we went for the completely unnecessary "last" drink. In a bit of language barrier we were provided w/ 2 pitchers of beer instead of the 4 regular size ones we probably were better suited for. I slurred out my acceptance and we were off and running! It gets a little hazy from there but my lady decided my stories were too long and boring and she scolded me for that which usually signals it is time to go home. Needless to say I slept quite well.

We woke up late and had a nice breakfast and then wandered all around the city doing a little browsing, a little shopping, and a little people watching. It was pleasant but f*cking really cold.

That is ok because dinner again on Saturday was a real treat. We opted for sushi at Sho dan. With names like Explosion, Lips, and Fruity Knuckle (ok I made the last one up)... you could tell we were in for an adventure. Unlike places in VT where the specialty rolls are ways to hide bad fish, these were well thought out perfectly sized bites of goodness that meshed flavors and textures in a really smart way. The service was prompt, polite, and courteous. The setting was ok, not great. But the Saki was solid and the fish was fresh and that is most important. The Explosion was yellow tail served in ginger and ponzu sauce and I sort of wanted to drink the sauce. Needless to say we went back for a second round. 2 thumbs and 2 bottles of saki up.

Then on to the main event... Canadiens vs Capitals. I am not a rabid hockey fan but I think it is one of the better sports to watch live. This was no exception. We sat up in the Molson Zone which I suppose is like the bleachers in Fenway. It is loaded w/ drunk Canadians having a fun time. It was a little rowdy and pretty fun. The game was sloppy in the first and second period but the pace and style of play really picked up in the third. The Caps won but the crowd stayed in it until the end. That was fun. Plus Pedro Martinez and some of the old Expos players were in attendance. And there was a fat guy dancing nearby. And hot Molson girls cheering in our area. So those are ok things.

We stopped off on the way to the hotel at the absinthe bar in the Intercontinental. It was cool. They had the whole setup w/ a contraption for dripping ice cold water onto a sugar cube through a slotted spoon into special glasses. I like rituals like that. Not like killing a goat or singing weird songs... but dripping ice water is a-ok!! Again we stopped off at a bar I cannot remember the name for some local beer and a chill locals vibe. This time I did not get in trouble. Must have been the mustache.

Sunday we woke up late, had breakfast and did a little more shopping. This time we went into a few cool shops and picked up some loose teas, candies, and then stopped off at this fantastic pastry shop for eclairs. A-bird, help me out and put the name in comments? Overall a great trip. We had a lot of fun and look forward to a return trip.

Doo Doo Follow Up!

2011-03-28T16:39:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3Yrhv33Zb8

Poop In An Elevator

Don’t want to go in Baterry Park

Thinking I don’t like the pavement

I'm bettin' that the door won’t be locked

I'm gonna have movement

But where am I gonna look?

They tell me there’s cameras on 8

I really need a toilet like an open book

Seriously I cannot wait!

Poop in an elevator

Squeezin’ it out when I'm goin' down

Poop in an elevator

Dookin’ it up all over the ground

It’s quiet in the elevator

Loan servicin’ on the second floor

I really couldn’t wait till later

I am sure glad they didn’t lock that door!

I kinda hope we get stuck

nobody sees me in here

I am enjoying this National Geographic

The finale is getting near

Poop in an elevator

Squeezin’ it out when I'm goin' down

Poop in an elevator

Dookin’ it up all over the ground

On the floor, on the floor, honey one more time now it’s on the door

Poop in an elevator

Dookin’ it up all over the ground

Poop in an elevator

Squeezin’ it out when I'm goin' down

Poop in an elevator

Dookin’ it up all over the ground

Gonna use a fake leaf to clean up

Gonna be a millionaire

I'm gonna pee on it as well

and have me a turd affair

Gotta get my timin' right

It's a torpedo that I got to pass

I'll find some newspaper in the stairway, honey

Use it to wipe my ass

Poop in an elevator

Squeezin’ it out when I'm goin' down

Poop in an elevator

Dookin’ it up all over the ground

Do you care? Do you care?

I pooped in your elevator and it just ain’t fair

Poop in an elevator

Dookin’ it up all over the ground

On the floor, on the floor

Honey one, one, one, one, one more!

Poop in an elevator

Dookin’ it up all over the ground

Jay About... To Be Sick!!!

2011-03-21T16:32:00.002-04:00

OK, so those who know me know that I have what you might describe as a "sensitive constitution". That said, I have some boundaries. They are loose subject to change without notice but they are there. Well, apparently someone came into our office building this weekend (possible a vagrant... or a college kid), and took a dump in one of the 2 elevators. Yeah, I know right?! Somehow the building was unlocked at least the front door though not into our offices, and this person decided that a proper course of action would be to Release the Kracken! on the elevator. On the upside, they had the foresight to grab a fern leaf from the I believe fake plant in the lobby to clean up and cover up the evidence. It was mostly cleaned up when I got to work today but it still smelled pretty f**d up. If you are a building owner or a property manager, locking the doors at night and on the weekends has to be a pretty high priority right? I lock our house at night and when we are away and it certainly does not cost millions, contain paying lease holders, or attract weekend loaf pinchers. Just sayin'.

Rest of the weekend was pretty quiet. I have really been enjoying the NCAA tourney even if my bracket looks like an elevator turd. The Big East always gets tons of press, a bunch of teams in the tournament and then they implode. UConn looks good and Marquette is having a nice run but jeez. Pitt, ND, Syracuse, Georgetown?! Seriously?!

We also had a solid "bread" over at American Flatbread this weekend. We put our names in for Pennycluse and the wait was to be an hour. We checked back around 45 minutes later and they said it would be another 25. F*** those guys. The wait is always ridiculous and frankly while the food is good it is not that good. For a wait over 1 hour the food had either be transcendent or I should have the off chance of seeing Charlie Sheen make out with Denise Richards and Naomi Campbell and then donkey punch the line cook after my bread course! That would be worth an hour wait. So where was I? Oh yeah... we bailed and went to American Flatbread where we were able to enjoy a not bad Bloody Mary (w/ 8oz beer back) while waiting 25 minutes for our table and then we had a pretty good "bread", 1/2 egg white frittata (better than it sounds) and 1/2 peperoni and peppers (as good as it sounds). Set me right for the day.

Now I have to seriously think about either playing elevator roulette or taking 8 flights of stairs!

Jay About Stomach Distress

2011-03-18T16:20:00.003-04:00

Funny, my stomach seems to be in a serious state of revolt today. I have eaten about 12 Rolaids and visited the bathroom a few times to see what's up. All I had for St. Patty's Day was a corned beef sandwich, 1/2 a pizza, and several Guinness. What could possibly be doing me in?!

Jay About the DR

2011-03-16T16:42:00.002-04:00

Back from the Dominican Republic and it was great! I will get the typical travel unpleasantness out of the way first. We had a 6+hour layover (flight also delayed an hour) and did not get home until well past midnight so I am a little worn out today. I was also specially selected at random to have my shit searched and also get my privates worked over by some dude who probably was unhappy about it as I was. Thanks Bin Laden. On the way out of the DR I also had 4 golf balls confiscated. The guy jabbering in Spanish thought they would be more likely to be used as a weapon than my golf cleats, golf tees, of my fists of fury which are registered weapons in 8 states... go figure?

Anyway, we got down to the island last Thursday w/ very little trouble. Renting the car was also very easy. We had expected overcast skies w/ a few showers. Nope, 80 and sunny all week. The next step? A harrowing hour and a half ride on a narrow Caribbean road pocked with 2 foot deep pot holes, crazy Dominicans on motor bikes or walking out into the middle of the road, or driving beat up jalopies passing on blind curves at 90. We never felt unsafe but the DR is a somewhat lawless place. The rules of the road? Who ever makes their move first wins!!! Well, I am a bit of a madman as well so it did not take long to acclimate. In no time I was also swerving into oncoming traffic and speeding around in our rented Kia like I was Dale Earnhardt!

The country is certainly a have vs. have not island like most of the Caribbean but it is very beautiful. There are plenty of long wide beaches covered with soft sand and bright emerald and topaz waters. We stayed at a small place up in the hills a little outside the town of Cabrera... La Catalina. It had a couple roaches but for less than $100 a night and breakfast included it was a great place. Breakfast was solid and the coffee was great. Otherwise the food was really nothing to shout about. We had shrimp a couple times that was good otherwise there was lots of overcooked fish in bad sauces. BUT, the rum (especially Barcelo and Brugal) was delicious and a cold Presidente beer is something special.

We started our days with short beautiful hikes near the hotel to get the blood going. We then would cruise to one of the local beaches (Playa Grande was our favorite) to pick out a quiet spot under a palm tree and read. Most of the beaches were really only good for wading as the surf is rough but there were a couple places to truly swim. That was great and very relaxing.

We played golf one day at the Playa Grande course. It was long but not particularly hard. Apparently it is never busy. We walked right on and had a very fast round. The rentals were terrible and our caddie was not friendly at all but the course was on cliffs overlooking the amazing ocean and it was a very pleasant way to spend an afternoon.

One thing we did check out that did not live up to expectations was Lake Dudu. That place f*cked up our whole day on Sunday. It looks nice and is a natural spectacle but is also loaded w/ unruly teenage Dominicans making a scene and acting out. It is like the town pool. The yogurt place nearby on rt. 5 is good though.

Overall it was a great trip and my special lady made excellent plans as usual. If you go, get Spanish lessons and check out the beach. 1 4/5 thumbs saying bueno!

Jay About... About to go on vacation!

2011-03-09T16:44:00.004-05:00

I hope. Weather report for tomorrow a little iffy, but we have our fingers crossed. Couple little tidbits before I leave... We had a huge and unexpected storm Sunday, it dropped 2' in Burlington and essentially closed down the city. We had a drift in the driveway about 3' high and did not see our plow guy until 10PM Monday night. Thanks for being so prompt chief! It was nice to work at home though. I had a nice breakfast and lunch w/ my special lady and still got stuff done. The house was f*ing cold though. I am tired of winter right now. Real tired of it.

Solid party for our buddy DW Friday night. Good turn out, lots of fun. I apparently gave a warbling, barely coherent speech that I was immediately disgusted with. Happens sometimes. Fortunately those times are pretty few and far between these days. 2 thumbs way down.

We took some time Saturday to plow through season 2 of Dexter. It is really good. Watched a couple episodes of Californication the other night. Not as good. Lots of hot naked women so that is something. I need to stop using that damn Apple TV, I am addicted to Showtime shows!

Not much else, I am just trying to wrap up and get the f*** out of here! Wish me luck!

End of an Era.

2011-03-04T15:44:00.002-05:00

In our business there is turnover. That is just the way it is. At our particular company there was a long period of stability, for many of us we had gotten quite used to working as a very close knit team that had developed a healthy level of trust, respect, and friendship. Well, these things do not last forever and this week we have seen the end of an era. Deez Nuts had been an important part of our group for 12 years, as a trader, PM, and general clown prince. For me he was a mentor as well as someone to f*ck around w/ all of the unsuspecting nerds on the floor, T-pain I am talking to you! Haha. Anyway, on to bigger and better things. Raise a glass of bourbon and a hearty high ho!!! Pickle sniffing turd burglar.

BTW... Oenosteve is rocking a pink striped shirt today. If you guessed that give yourself a high five!

Serenity Now!

2011-03-01T17:25:00.002-05:00

Man, sometimes work is a royal pain in my ass. Dealing w/ minutia and some of the random shit is so annoying, but unfortunately necessary. So I am trying to finish up my day and mellow out before I go 4-Loko on some unsuspecting sucker.

So here is a quick something to chew on. I was not welcome at home last night as my special lady was hosting a couple friends for a cooking party. Ok, fair enough. So I had a couple beers and talked shop w/ a buddy then thought about what to do. Drink more beer at a bar? That sounded decidedly dangerous. Go get some chow? Eating out is a bit fattening and would not kill enough time (plus more beer would enter into the equation). I will let you in on a little secret... I am as fat as I have been in a long time. I had trimmed down then a perfect storm of too many Bud Heavies, too much cheese and cookies and everything else, plus a lapse in my exercise routine... got me looking like I was trying to smuggle a basketball out of the office. So more melted cheese and fries sounded less than ideal. Hey, I know, how about going to a movie my wife may or may not care about? Jackpot!! So I hit up Hall Pass in SoBu. There were 7 other people in the theater. Maybe 12 others in the whole "cineplex". Needless to say I had my pick of choice seating. After 22 uninspiring previews we were off. I like Farrelly movies, usually alot. This was not one of those times. It was kind of funny and there was one scene that was really great. Mostly there were just a few chuckles from myself and the other 7 patrons. Plus Jenna Fischer had a really weird tan makeup job. It was really fake looking. Overall you may like it and it is probably worth renting for $5 but don't waste the money at the theater. If someone tells you it is better than The Hangover (NYTimes), please punch them in the face for me. And for the Wolfpack. 1 thumb kind of sideways.

Time for Shop Talk!!

2011-02-24T10:08:00.004-05:00

I am thinking about a new game... what goofy color shirt is my co-worker OenoSteve wearing today? Cue the music... Yesterday we had day-glow pink. Today, it is an Easter Egg shade of yellow. If you guessed bright yellow, give yourself a hand!!! BTW, look at the number he was rocking a few months ago. If you could really see the shirt under that violet sweater you would laugh... like I did. OenoSteve is a good sport so we can joke him a little.

OK, here is another tale from the office. We typically stock some interesting reading material in the men's room. Now, I am not interested in reading War and Peace while in stink town but sometimes you are working through a situation and may enjoy a little mental stimulation. Just sayin'. Well, our typical fare is a few car magazines, maybe a financial rag, and several gun/hunting magazines. Yeah, seriously. So out of the goodness of my heart I went down to the bookstore last Tues. and purchased a snowboard mag., an ESPN mag., and a National Geographic. Well, I went to use the facilities on Thurs. and lo and behold... no National Geographic! I checked both stalls, gone! Who the f*ck steals a magazine from the bathroom? It is wrong on several levels but let's mention the most obvious. One, I BOUGHT that and those are not cheap. Plus, I never even got to read the damn thing!!! An even more pressing issue... that is gross! When something goes in the bathroom it is not meant to come out. Period. I mean it is the most unsanitary place in the building. Are you taking it to your desk? Home? Were you really that interested in domesticated foxes of northern Canada?!?!?! Are times really that tough?! Just disturbing.

I guess that is enough for now. Tomorrow is casual Friday so get your funny shirt color guesses ready! Orange? Purple? Blue and Red vertical stripes? Fuchsia polka dots? Who knows?!

Jay About President's Day Weekend!

2011-02-23T16:01:00.002-05:00

Man, there is nothing like a 3 day weekend. I especially enjoy it when the off day is Monday. Your body tells you that you should be going to work, but nope! Then you have a short week to look forward to, it is great. We did a couple things for the weekend. On Friday we ate leftovers, nothing special there. On Saturday, we went to a friends and had a really nice brunch. Our pal made an amazing cheesy oniony tart thing. The crust was great. The best part of Saturday? After brunch my special lady went to look at wedding dresses w/ a girlfriend and I went to... the couch! I watched some basketball, read a magazine, ate pistachios, and had a cocktail. It was everything I could have hoped for and more. Oh, but Jay... why didn't you go outside and enjoy nature?! Cause it was f*cking cold and windy, that's why!!

On Sunday we did get out and about. We hiked up Camel's Hump. It was nice until we got to the top, at which point it was like -20 degrees with a howling wind. We stayed at the top for two seconds then retreated to the tree line to clear our ringing heads and try to avoid frostbite. It was a good hike though. Then another nice dinner at home with a nice pork loin, apple chutney, and wheat berries. What is a wheat berry? What am I a doctor? How the hell should I know?! It was like barley or something. A good conduit for the apple. We washed it down w/ a bottle of Pierre Joulet because we are super fancy.

Monday was the big deal. We got together w/ some folks for lunch and Bloody Mary's. The Bloodies were made w/ freshly juiced veggies and herbs and rimmed w/ Old Bay seasoning. Delicious and chock full of vitamins! I felt like a hundred bucks! My lady knocked the cover off lunch w/ a baked egg topped w/ melted cheese and siting on top of bacon, spinach, and onions browned up in bacon grease. That my friends is money in the bank! She had also made coffee cake muffins that were awesome. It was by no means a healthy meal but I am sure the vitamin rich cocktails countered the massive cholesterol intake (again, I am not a doctor so...). It was great. After that we came home and watched a couple episodes from the first season of Dexter. That is a messed up show. It is good but holy smokes, it is weird.

One last tidbit, we watched Red the other night. It was entertaining and worth a flier if you can get it on Netflix or HBO. I would not pay up for it but the acting is pretty tongue in cheek and they blow a bunch of shit up. 1 thumb on the trigger of a sniper rifle yo!!!

Happy Birthday A-Bird

2011-02-18T15:04:00.003-05:00

Technically it was Wednesday but this is a backward looking blog so let's celebrate my special lady's birthday all weekend! Our friends DG&KB threw a lovely party Wednesday and that was fun. The Portuguese chicken was randera randera randera... great! That is what Portuguese sounds like. I'm sorry, it just is. So the 2 things I got for my wife for her birthday? A nice bottle of champagne and a fake dog poo that she left hidden at our friends place. I think she was amused and that is why she is awesome.

We saw Crazy Heart the other night and it was pretty darn good. Jeff Bridges plays a great crusty country singer. He is really making it happen w/ these one off characters the last several years. Good for you Lebowski! Anyway, the word was that it was really sad like The Wrestler, but it was not even close. I mean, the wrestler is depressing and not for nothing but it does not end well! Crazy Heart has at least a modicum of hope and some real "heart"! Haha. 1 1/2 thumbs up.

One last tidbit, good luck Dick... you were a mentor and a friend and I certainly will miss your interesting perspective (if not your terrible gas) around these parts. I have one suggestion for the future. Kamchatka Bear trainer! Just Sayin'...

Wow, I really f*d that one up

2011-02-14T16:44:00.002-05:00

We decided to do a pretty brief hike yesterday... one that the special lady and I do all the time. It is not super technical and usually pretty well travelled so the path is well worn. Apparently not yesterday. We rolled up sans snowshoes and were quickly up to our thighs in deep crusty snow. What a pain in the ass! At the top of one ridge the wind was whipping, we had snow in our boots, and the only was to really move was to crawl on all fours to create more surface area... like a f*ing polar bear! I don't even want to know what people (or polar bears) would think if they saw us! We finally got to a high point and it was time to sled down! All that hard work would be rewarded right? WRONG!!! The sled we had was warped and sucked and the snow was so deep, even with decent pitch you could not go more than 2 feet. So we had to trudge down through equally heavy snow. It was really unpleasant. Not as unpleasant as shovelling my roof... but pretty darn close. Was my wife impressed and happy about the great exercise we got? Nope!! Again, apparently, (I am the only one these things are not apparent to), wet cold socks, and not fun deep snow walking is not a good way to spend a Sunday... who knew?!

On Saturday, we did some work around the house and rented The Social Network on PPV. I don't like that actor who plays Zuckerberg and think Facebook is for weirdos (like my wife, haha), but what the heck. It is up for all sorts of awards and has won several but that is ridiculous. It was good and certainly entertaining but not great by any means. The music was well suited and it definitely made to dislike most if not all of the players in the saga. It is worth a rent but you could wait for it to show up on HBO and probably feel ok about it. 1 1/4 thumbs henpecking at a keyboard about things "I like".

Ok, time to go and make amends to my special lady. She is a gem.

Jay About NYC

2011-02-07T15:49:00.002-05:00

Last things first... we got home yesterday about from NY at about 7 and all I wanted to do was crash on the couch and watch the Super Bowl. One problem... our f*ing plow guy had not plowed the 8" of heavy wet snow that had fallen the day earlier. Our driveway is long and w/ that much heavy snow the car had no chance. So we had to get out and start shoveling. Yeah, that sucked pretty bad. Then the country bumpkin shows up and parks his tractor behind my car refusing to get out and say "hey, maybe you guys should back out and I will plow that for you... as that is what you pay me to do". Then when my wife asked him why he had not plowed he gave her shit. It turned out our neighbor's niece got stuck and left her car blocking the driveway during the snow on Saturday. No explanation as to why all of Sunday went by unplowed. Asshole.

BUT, the trip to the city was pretty fun despite a cold sloppy rain on Saturday. We rolled in on Friday and went to a very chill sushi spot Takahachi in Tribeca on the advice of HOLLA NYC. It was lively, very friendly, and the fish was solid. It is an inviting place that was really easy to sit down, gab w/ friends, and have some salmon and saki. The taxi driver roll was pretty great and I know you are not supposed to eat it but the toro was buttery slightly fishy (in a good way) and delicious. Prices were reasonable and over all 1 1/2 thumbs up. We were a little tired after having snowboarding in the morning then travelling but we skipped over to a bar called Weather Up for a cocktail. That place was pretty hip. Subway tile, dark lighting, good looking well dressed patrons... it was a scene very typical of a bar in Vermont! It took awhile to get a drink but I thought the scenery was ok so I just perused the drink list and the many top shelf liquors they were rocking. Ultimately I passed on the foo-foo stuff and got a Booker's on the rocks. They give a nice heavy pour in a tumbler with a huge chunk of fresh cut ice. It made a nice presentation and added levels of flavor to the whiskey as it melted. That place was cool.

Saturday we poked around and and then took a sip in the MOMA. Modern art is weird shit. Some of it is very cool. They had a "modern" kitchen exhibit that was pretty neat with lots of propaganda and kitchen items from World War II, both German and American. There was also a cool Warhol exhibit w/ a room full of huge screens showing the old screen tests for his still life movies. There were about 8 huge faces famous and less famous just staring at you or doing mundane tasks such as brushing their teeth it was very surreal. Then you had various photographs or paintings of a dude jerking off with a plastic bag over his head standing next to a monkey. Odd, very odd. Why not a cow... the monkey knows shame for heck sake.

Lunch was over at a Ma Peche a David Chang Momofuku spin off. It was great. We started with a broccoli and seaweed salad in white miso. It was cooked perfectly to soak up the sauce without getting soggy and the miso was delicate yet flavorful. We also had summer rolls with a great consistency, fresh flavor and shrimp that was very fresh (often very rubbery in the spring/summer roll). For our main course A-bird rocked a shrimp po-boy and it was off the chain. Perfect baguette, not to crusty, not too soft and a little warm with lightly breaded shrimp and this pickled ramp remoulade that was amazing. I had pork ribs in basil and caramel that feel off the bone. I could have eaten less because they were very heavy but quite good. Oh yeah, the tequila based knuckleball was tequillalicious! I could have had 12. Then got in a fight, then passed out, then peed on myself. Wait, where was I? Oh yeah 2 thumbs up. A little pricey and service is a little hung over but good.

It was then on to a little shopping. Funny thing, in this shop I tried on a leather jacket that made me look like a love machine. I was ready to pull the trigger then and there! My wife as the voice of reason agreed that it looked good and that I would be very cool if I wore it but... where and when would I wear it in VT? Certainly not to work where I would be joked to no end. We decided to sleep on it and come back on Sunday to look again. Good move. It was like a drunken hook up. The next morning in the light and sober it was like my model had turned into mothra. We walked away to deploy our funds in a couple dress shirts that made more sense and will look good in the light or the dark.

Dinner was very chill, pizza at Adrienne's downtown. Good sauce, good sausage, good cheese, reasonable prices and peroni on tap. What's not to like? Also a friendly and chill place to go and relax. After being out in the cold rain all day it was a very welcome respite.

Finally we had brunch Sunday at Schiller's Liquors in the east village. Very cool neighborhood. The restaurant had more vintage glass and subway tile. We started with a warm and sumptuous doughnut. I then had a Croque Madame. That is buttered bread toasted w/ ham melted cheese and a fried egg. Otherwise known at a heart attack! It was good but shit, I almost died at the table. I had to wait 15minutes until I could get served my Pimm's Cup at noon. It was worth it. The cucumber is the way to go. I would go back for the doughnuts and drinks. The rest is ok not great. Very professional service.

Then the plow f*cker. Think I will end it here. The Super Bowl was a fun game to watch, I didn't care about the teams so whatever...

Jay About Innapropriate jokes

2011-02-01T17:19:00.004-05:00

Couple quick reviews... the Catamount X-country ski center is ok but there is not nearly enough terrain to justify $15/person. It is like a track, you just go around in circles? True Grit was pretty solid. The female lead was very good, Jeff Bridges was very crusty, and Matt Damon was appropriately dooshy. 1 3/4 thumbs up. well worth it.

Ok... back to the good stuff. Do you think after the 120th question about his recent offseason, Ben Rothlehdkjhahsburger is finally going to snap and scream, "That is it! This is F*ing Super Bowl Week! If I get one more personal question I am going to rape you!!!".

Where the f**k do these Egyptians keep finding rocks to throw? They are on paved streets? Is there a rock stand next to the falafel guy? Do you need a permit for that?

6" of snow shut the city of Burlington down today. We live in Vermont. It snows every year. In fact 8 of 12 months we have snow. Yet, every time it snows it is like the first time we have ever seen it? What, are we all a bunch of Drew Barrymores in 50 First Dates? Like the obscure reference?

Speaking of 6". Wait, maybe I will walk away from that joke.

I know that I eliminated D-Bag of the week but I am re instituting it for just this week... the candidates are standing right behind me. T-Pain, Dick, Birminghamandcheese, KII. Apparently I do not post enough these days. I am busy working... and drinking... and today, farting!

Hey it's Groundhog Day! The Groundhog did not see his shadow so spring is coming! Of course it is very difficult to see your shadow when you are buried under 4 feet of snow. And are a nearly blind ground burrowing animal.

If you ever have the opportunity to try the chicken meatball special at the City Market? Don't! Right away we got a B-teamer making our sandwiches the other day. The first problem was that he did not know how to make a meatball sub. Isn't that sandwich making 101... chapter 2 right after peanut butter and jelly? Second, the greasy hippy was coughing all over our food. At that point we should have walked away. But no... at that point it was go time. The sandwich had ok flavor but was cold and had very little marinara. It also stuck w/ me well into the night. Gross.

It's funny, Brittney Spears and Lindsay Lohan use drugs, get seen at parties drunk, and hook up w/ random actors or other guys and they are not only sent to rehab but are put in the custody of their parents. Charlie Sheen blows a suitcase full of coke w/ strippers and hookers and he gets a new family drama on CBS and a high five! (just kidding, he has to go to rehab before the high five... those trashy girls!!!). I think that kid in the pic above is pissed the hot dog guy only had 32 dogs in the bin!

I think I am done... I have a 4 hour (3 mile) drive home!

Jay About Tired Town

2011-01-26T16:46:00.004-05:00

I just flew back from a conference in DC and boy my arms are tired! Take my wife... please! My hotel room was so small when I put the key in the door it almost broke the window! OK, enough Henny Youngman one liners. I am pretty spent though. I was able to get in a ton of meetings and had time to see a couple friends in down time. Good trip. We did have a couple decent meals. One place was Tosca on F street. It was an Italian joint and the food was solid. I had veal ravioli in a red wine reduction that was really quite nice. The best part was the waiter, he looked like the bad guy from a James Bond movie. He wore a slightly worn white suit and spoke w/ an affected voice but the dude had a huge head with giant neck rolls one of which had a tattoo. He also had a scary face and meathooks that could rip my arms off. He was quite pleasant and professional though! We also ate at a Mediterranean tapas joint Zaytina on 9th that was fun. The lamb was really good and it was a cool place to get kind of rowdy. Good times.

One last tidbit... we saw The King's Speech the other day and it was really good. I was a little reluctant wanting a little more action, comedy, sex, etc... but this was a well acted, well shot, well written movie. 2 thumbs up. OK, I am spent... remember, you have a nice personality... just not for a human being. Ba Dum Dum!!!!!!

So uh yeah... about yesterday

2011-01-19T16:57:00.003-05:00

Apparently it is "Chef's Corner" rather than Cook's but frankly between us girls... I am not sure anyone making food there is in the chef vs cook category. Um, I also waked as opposed to walked into the ladies room which is just ridiculous. Waked is not the proper tense and I have not awoken in a ladies room in at least a year!!!

F*ing Pats

2011-01-18T16:21:00.002-05:00

I like football but do not have a designated team I love. That said, I have spent my life in New England and several years in the Boston area so I find myself following the Patriots. I hate the Jets... and Rex Ryan, and Antonio 22 kid limit Cromartie, and Matt Dirty Sanchez. Hate them. So I was pretty displeased to be sitting in a bar in Stowe w/ a bunch of assholes from Jersey wearing the same Sanchez jersey they probably skied in watching that disaster on Sunday. Plus the wings at RimRockers Tavern were gross. Otherwise it was a good place to watch a game with a bunch of TVs, pretty cold beer and a hot waitress. The game? 2 thumbs way down.

What else... I had the day off on Monday and met my special lady for lunch at Cook's Corner in Williston. Not many options for a decent meal in Williston (other than the Ponderosa of course). Cook's is quite an operation. It looks like a nice place until they put you in a large assembly line and then you sit down w/ a number tag in a cheesy cafeteria dining room. The counter guy really pushed the "weekend brunch" on my wife which messed up her ordering strategy and then the whole breakfast. Thanks alot counter guy. She got eggs and bacon and homefries. It was all pretty ok, not great. I got eggs benedict florentine. The creamed spinach was pretty good but the holandaise sauce was suspect. Overall it was ok, better than Applebee's. 1 thumb sideways.

Oh yeah, we also went w/ some friends to the Gregg Allman show at the Flynn on Friday. Nice venue for a relaxed concert. Props to LB squared who got us seats right up in the fourth or fifth row right in front of Greg. I'll give him credit, he does pretty well for an 80yr old dude w/ someone else's liver! He was good though, the concert was really enjoyable. We then rolled over to Nectar's and caught a really solid band covering Hendrix. We also had a pre-concert dinner at the Asiana Noodle House. It was surprisingly very good. The sushi was not bad, pretty fresh and the noodle soup was excellent. I had rice noodles and beef in a beef broth that was very nice. The saki was flowing and even though I almost waked into the ladies room it was good. 1 1/2 thumbs up. 1 7/8ths for the whole evening!

Fancy Talkin' Time!

2011-01-12T15:55:00.003-05:00

My special lady and I took another run at the new Clash of the Titans movie... I fell asleep the first time I tried to watch it. It is ok, not as good as the original. I thought it would be pretty funny if we still went old school when chatting it up these days. For instance...

Jay: Good Morning to you Madam, I am Jay son of Sterl... of the White River Junctionons! I desire to sup at your table, what have you?!

McDonald's Wench: Well son of Sterl... you can sitest yourself at any table. We have the finest fowl parts from the Mexico territory, and beef from Mongolia!

Jay: Forsooth! We shall dance!